• Chris Preston (unregistered) in reply to Bus Raker

    You also don't need to *** out mouth, so I'm inclined to go with something along these lines for the (near) solution:

    "UC her CUT and CU in her USS," as the user is a "nasty STARD."

    I forget which letters we've already selected, so sorry if I screwed it up (I decided to use WTF, STFU, TDW, and tard, since they expose enough, are applicable to any TDW discussion, and don't give too much away, except in the alternate case below).  But the point is that all of the words be censor worthy, which the last one is somewhat suspect, but I doubt it is A    HOLE because, well, it just seems too rude a description of the potential audience (customers).  That, and if taken literally, "nasty A**HOLE" is just a turn off.  For most people, anyway...

    And in deference to the granparent post, CU*T and TWAT are equally likely.

  • (cs)

    Wow guys.  And here I thought it said:

    "MAKE her CODE and FIX in her FILTH," as the user is a "nasty CONSULT"

    guess I'm just way off. :)

  • (cs) in reply to hmsphx
    Anonymous:
    Oh wow, I was thinking something totally different for the ***.  Had to do with other body fluids though.

    Does this make me a pervert?
    No, no, just someone who can think outside the, er, box. I'm just glad the FCC can't shut down this site on the basis of these almost-mentioned terms.
  • (cs)

    And this is abnormal to the way any large company in the Western hemisphere does end-user support how?

  • (cs) in reply to anonymous
    Anonymous:
    The call comes to The Receiver.  The Receiver, despite knowing that The Actual Fixer is just a few floors away in the same building in the UK, logs the call in Logging System A


    Its that Goatse.cx literature?

    I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thought of that.

  • Brad (unregistered)

    First IT job was tech support (I can hear Tom Cruise's character in Vanilla Sky yelling).  Before my first day, I was given a manual of the product to be supported.  On my first day, it was me, alone (at least for the first part of the day), answering calls trying to decipher what to do from shortcuts on my desktop, sticky notes hanging around, and notebooks within arm's reach.
    Luckily, I was able to move out of that job quickly.

  • (cs) in reply to hmsphx
    Anonymous:
    Oh wow, I was thinking something totally different for the ***.  Had to do with other body fluids though.

    Does this make me a pervert?

    No.  It makes you a connoisseur.
  • Jay (unregistered)

    I am the master of the CLIT! (just a possibility)

  • Forgottenlord (unregistered)

    Ah ha!  So that's why whenever we send inventory update requests, it never gets completed.

    CAPTCHA: hacker

  • (cs)

    Thats business...

    The fix seems simple, the Reciever/Deflector should the Opener and Closer of all cases. The Canadian Center should not close cases, they should only return them to the Opener for closing.

     

    Intelligence, is business the new military?

  • Matt (unregistered)

    This posting is useless without the mentioned jpg.

    USELESS

  • e (unregistered)

    THIS IS NOT ABOUT PROGRAMMING. Are there so few bad algorithms out there that we have to resort to stupid, unfunny "bad times in tech support" jokes that are no better than the ones drifting around e-mail chain letters since 1994?

    Removed from bookmarks. Have fun.

  • (cs) in reply to e

    This is stupid. OMG I'm so bored ZzzzZzzzz......

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to e
    Anonymous:
    THIS IS NOT ABOUT PROGRAMMING. Are there so few bad algorithms out there that we have to resort to stupid, unfunny "bad times in tech support" jokes that are no better than the ones drifting around e-mail chain letters since 1994?

    Removed from bookmarks. Have fun.



    Who said it was all about programming?
    My bookmark remains.

  • (cs)

    Funny that a Help desk issue would show up as a curious perversion, but non the less, it has. Perhaps rightfully so. Consider a really large global enterprise where Help Desk spans many technologies and many languages. The Help Desk is the front-line dispatch for anything from computers to telephones to robots to software. Obviously Help Desk cant be experts in solving all problems. but to their credit, they are good enough at routing the call to the proper level ( and there are many, many levels ). A three tier system is actually a small system when you consider the tiers:

    - Front line dispatch
    - Global Domain
    - Local Domain
    - Technology Domain
    - Support Domain
    - Application Support
    - Expert User
    - Development Team
    - Programmer

    Typically, Help Desk duty is the entry point into IT. It's usually a proving ground to find candidates who grasp the big picture. At which point, they graduate into a specific technology because of their ability... leaving a big hole at the Help Desk. Which is why the Help Desk is such a hit or miss, based on the tenure of the front-line dispatcher.

  • (cs)

    Honestly I didn't understand a bit of this. This time the anonymizing was a bit too much for me. All these company A, B, Fixer, whatever just gave me a headake... not that I didn't have one before but now it hurts really bad :(

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous Coward

    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    THIS IS NOT ABOUT PROGRAMMING. Are there so few bad algorithms out there that we have to resort to stupid, unfunny "bad times in tech support" jokes that are no better than the ones drifting around e-mail chain letters since 1994? Removed from bookmarks. Have fun.


    Who said it was all about programming?
    My bookmark remains.

    Bummer... that your spoon-fed entertainment ran dry. Guess you'll have to find another source that lives up to your needs. Cry-baby.

  • Frixus (unregistered) in reply to olddog

    Hey, hang man is great and all... but where is the friggin' jpeg?

  • (cs) in reply to Dazed
    Anonymous:
    Actually I see the ALT text for the header is "Curious Pervisions in Information Technology". WTF is a Pervision and where can I get one?


    Actually that's two tools.

    Pervision Perfect® is the market-leading SCM tool, and Pervision Vision® is the cross-toolkit GUI design tool.

    Available through many web stores implemented in AJAX.

    Student discounts available through WTFU.

    Tech support is handled by... well, you know what.
  • Will (unregistered) in reply to BiggBru
    BiggBru:
    <font face="Georgia">That last word could be anything. </font>


    Of course it could --- thats why they used wildcards.
    (boom-tish)

    Captcha isn't very random :/

  • Benjamin Smith (unregistered) in reply to sammybaby
    sammybaby:

    She told me that whenever she found a company machine with porn on it, she'd switch it to the "marquee" screensaver and set it to display the message, "I <3 Porn."

    I'm not sure what to think of that.



    She wasn't nearly adventursome enough!

    If you want to REALLY have fun, put the screen saver to display local pictures, pointed at the directory where the pornography is found.  Put it on a 3 hour delay, so the customer doesn't notice it for a while, and when it triggers, it displays all his pr0n at random.

    Good so far?

    Then, password protect it with something like "Im a hand job".

    What's funny is that the user would probably *never* call you to admit that the problem exists!

    CAPTCHA = random
  • (cs)

    Ok, we've now established the perversions part...

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Xepol

    When did this site become Porn Central?

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    When did this site become Porn Central?


    Considering the name (F-word) and slogan ("Perversions"), it always was.
  • wowserbrowser (unregistered) in reply to e
    Anonymous:
    THIS IS NOT ABOUT PROGRAMMING. Are there so few bad algorithms out there that we have to resort to stupid, unfunny "bad times in tech support" jokes that are no better than the ones drifting around e-mail chain letters since 1994?

    Removed from bookmarks. Have fun.



    Real programmers don't use bookmarks

  • Webzter (unregistered) in reply to wowserbrowser

    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    THIS IS NOT ABOUT PROGRAMMING. Are there so few bad algorithms out there that we have to resort to stupid, unfunny "bad times in tech support" jokes that are no better than the ones drifting around e-mail chain letters since 1994? Removed from bookmarks. Have fun.


    Real programmers don't use bookmarks

    Yeah, real programmers telnet to the server on port 80 and write their own http get request. 

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Webzter

    Real programmers listen to Kelis.

  • Jason (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anonymous:
    Real programmers listen to Kelis.
    You're going to think I'm kidding, but Kelis helps me program better. I listen to her CDs all the time while I'm coding. That song "Bossy" is especially good to program to...I like the dink-dink sounds in the song...I like to hear the dink-dink sounds when I use intellisense and the various properties are displayed. That's cool to me.
  • Anony Moose (unregistered) in reply to WTFer

    Anonymous:
    What happened to all the code WTF's?

    The real "WTF" is whinging that the "WTF"s aren't as good as they were in the good old days before all these clueless newbies started posting WTFs that aren't real WTFs.

    And we had to walk up hill both ways in the snow to get to the communal PC with a 1 baud modem and wait 6 months to download them, so we really appreciated the good ones.

  • (cs)
    Anonymous:

    Anonymous:
    I found the JPEG!


    [image]

    Move over bean bag girl and foosball girl, I'm in love...

    captcha: error (how prophetic)

    "*UC* her COC* and CU* in her *OUT*," as the user is a "nasty PE*VE**."  --?

    Or is it "CLEAN her RUGS and EAT in her COURT," as the user is a "nasty SLOPPER." ?

     

     

     

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    For god's sake, think of the modem users!.  Put a link and not the jpg file embeded!.


  • devmem (unregistered) in reply to John X.
    Anonymous:
    We are talking about  HP Business Consulting, Support & Managed Outsourcing IT Services, aren't we?


    Sure, or why you think all the guys talking about Sluts, F*cking...?
  • The Contractor (unregistered)

    Ah....music to my ears. This stroy describes my life. I work for a company which supports and builds "I.T. solutions" for a local government body.  The government in it's wisdom has outsourced the management of it's I.T. hardware to one company (Caomany A) and it's software dev/ support to the company I work for (Company B).  Company A and B are of course competitors in the same market space and have no contract with each othoer. Each have a Service Level Agreement (SLA) with the local government.

    It's a perfect scenario for a 'finger pointing game'. The process of logging and resolving a support call is akin to understanding the routes of the London Underground. If the Application is supported by the Business Support Unit (BSU), the call can be raised by reproting it to the BSU and then passed either to Company A or B depending on the nature of the problem. At this point a 'tennis match' is ususally initiated between Company A and B, bouncing the call back and forth as neither wants to admit liability of the problem. Eventually the originating customer will escellate the problem until management step in and instist somebody actually deal with it and eventually the call is resolved.

    If the Application is a Third Party Application, not supported by the BSU, then the customer will directly contact either Company A or B to try and resolve the issue. The tennis match will start again, with the losing company contacting the original supplier who developed the application.

    It's even more fun when both Company A, B and a thrid party supplier need to combine their efforts to resolve difficult cases. Company A wont give anyone access to the hardware (directly or indirectly), so all information has to be requested for (e.g. event logs , error messages etc.), Company B and the third part supplier can then talk about the problem for days, trying to replaicate it in a support environment, which of course is nothing like the LIVE environemnt. And then as if by magic the problem vanishes, and no one is any wiser.....until next month when the same problem arises and it all startts over again.

    But, hey.....it keeps me employed!

     

     

  • Martijn (unregistered) in reply to Dazed

    So where's the "Technology" in this fully compliant ITIL implementation story?

    Captcha = random... if it were random, it wouldn't care if I didn't type "random", now would it?

  • Martijn (unregistered) in reply to e

    Thanks for making our page downloads faster in the future.

    (Sorry about this post making all your page downloads slower)

    Captcha: random (again!)

  • Richard Cutts (unregistered)

    Who supports the supporters.

  • JL (unregistered)

    Er... I know "abyss" has two s's, but I'm pretty sure "abysmal" should only have one, unless I'm missing some brillant witticism.

  • (cs) in reply to JBL
    JBL:
    I got through to The Actual Fixer once for my "company-that-sounds-like-horizon" DSL line... It was an amazing, gratifying experience (though probably not so gratifying as suggested in that jpg). Only happened once, though.


    I talked to him once too. Then he forgot to submit the trouble ticket properly, and none of the other plebs that answered the phone would/could do the tests that he did to determine the problem.

    Going with cable made it all better.
  • ;D (unregistered) in reply to JL
    Anonymous:
    Er... I know "abyss" has two s's, but I'm pretty sure "abysmal" should only have one, unless I'm missing some brillant witticism.

    Yeah, the wtf contains a reference to an abyss, so its a pun

    (genius)

  • JL (unregistered) in reply to ;D
    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    Er... I know "abyss" has two s's, but I'm pretty sure "abysmal" should only have one, unless I'm missing some brillant witticism.

    Yeah, the wtf contains a reference to an abyss, so its a pun

    (genius)

    If that's the only reason, then they could have just spelled it correctly, since that's where the word comes from -- "abysmal" can refer to things that are bad or in an abyss, just like "heavenly" can refer to things that are good or in the heavens.

  • Owen (unregistered)

    sounds enterprisey....

    I like it!

  • (cs)

    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:
    Real programmers listen to Kelis.
    You know what? I completely agree with you. Do you know why?

    <FONT face=Verdana size=6>Cause she's a Boss!
    </FONT>[image]

    <FONT face=Georgia>Apparently, her milkshake brings the boys to the yard. And you're damn right, it's better then yours.</FONT>

  • (cs) in reply to Bus Raker

    I'd like to solve the puzzle:

        COOK her FOOD and EAT in her CABIN  as the user is a nasty TREKKIE


    And he smells funny

    Wait.

    Oh well.

  • mike (unregistered)
    Greg:
    Ugh! I think for every time someone posts that disgusting she-man picture, we should counteract it with a pic of Kelis...Bossy!

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