The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Michael:
Donald:
Bosses ask us to "just add a button" ... but it's NEVER that simple is it?
I have banned the term "just" in the office. Everyone who uses it outside his/her domain has to contribute to the summer part fund. works rather well!! Same applies for: quick, easy, simple etc...

I should try that. Whenever bosses ask me to "just" do something, I want to say "Sure, and meanwhile why don't you just increase revenue, reduce costs, and improve employee morale." </bitter rant>

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

Wow, the first post written by someone not currently at work!

Admins: this needs to be a featured post, ASAP!

frits · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Smitty:
frits:
C'mon people. This is actually a fairly clever and elegant data compression technique. You see, booleans often take up 32 bits of data storage. In this case, they only need 16 bits- 8 bits for the character, and 8 bits for the comma. Additionally, this is quite an ingenious way of representing a nullable boolean by using the "-" chanracter to represent the unused columns. A++ to this obviously talented developer!

Die Frits!

Unless there's something Frits isn't telling us, that would be "Der Frits!"

(Du bist nicht so klug, oder?)

I can't speak for Smitty, but I can't be bothered to learn a foreign language- I'm American. The reason I know "die" is "the" in some Germanic languages is because of Die Antwoord. Anyway, I do know a little Spanish, but that's hardly a foreign language at this point...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Donald:
Bosses ask us to "just add a button" ... but it's NEVER that simple is it?

I've always wanted to "just" add the button, as requested. No functionality. Then act surprised when they're surprised.

But this desire conflicts with my desire to remain employed...

hoodaticus · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

frits:
trtrwtf:
Smitty:
frits:
C'mon people. This is actually a fairly clever and elegant data compression technique. You see, booleans often take up 32 bits of data storage. In this case, they only need 16 bits- 8 bits for the character, and 8 bits for the comma. Additionally, this is quite an ingenious way of representing a nullable boolean by using the "-" chanracter to represent the unused columns. A++ to this obviously talented developer!

Die Frits!

Unless there's something Frits isn't telling us, that would be "Der Frits!"

(Du bist nicht so klug, oder?)

I can't speak for Smitty, but I can't be bothered to learn a foreign language- I'm American. The reason I know "die" is "the" in some Germanic languages is because of Die Antwoord. Anyway, I do know a little Spanish, but that's hardly a foreign language at this point...

Sin duda, muchacho!

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

by:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

Since I'm a writer, that's actually quite a flattering comment. It's not often that you get a character so right that people assume you're talking about yourself.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Michael:
Donald:
Bosses ask us to "just add a button" ... but it's NEVER that simple is it?
I have banned the term "just" in the office. Everyone who uses it outside his/her domain has to contribute to the summer part fund. works rather well!! Same applies for: quick, easy, simple etc...

Yes, but what can we do about customer-provided size estimates?

Would you just install this little software package for me?
I only need a small change to the shipping cost calculation.

Addendum (2011-02-16 09:45): You don't have to be a registered user to amend your posts.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

TRWTF is reports. Who still uses them?

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

The Nerve:
An obvious solution would be to create an array with all 36893488147419103232 possible permutations of the columns displayed and a map that maps from the report number to its index in the array. If you want to add a column, recompute the data index and retrieve that string (prepending it first with a '-').

Come to think of it... ditch the array: if you've calculated your index as described (without the negative) I do believe it'll already be a bit-packed of The Fine WTF's strings!

hoodaticus · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Gilbert:
Donald:
Bosses ask us to "just add a button" ... but it's NEVER that simple is it?
I've always wanted to "just" add the button, as requested. No functionality. Then act surprised when they're surprised.
But this desire conflicts with my desire to remain employed...

The important thing is to get clout - alot of it - however you have to do it - so that you can then tell your superiors that they're fucking retarded.

This works up to the CEO level. Major investors, on the other hand...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

...a bit-packed version of...

hoodaticus · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
by:
trtrwtf:
The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.
Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

Since I'm a writer, that's actually quite a flattering comment. It's not often that you get a character so right that people assume you're talking about yourself.

When you do introspection on other people, it's called "projection".

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Ibi-Wan Kentobi:
The Nerve:
An obvious solution would be to create an array with all 36893488147419103232 possible permutations of the columns displayed and a map that maps from the report number to its index in the array. If you want to add a column, recompute the data index and retrieve that string (prepending it first with a '-').

Come to think of it... ditch the array: if you've calculated your index as described (without the negative) I do believe it'll already be a bit-packed of The Fine WTF's strings!

But then you'd still have to convert to a string, consuming valuable processor speed.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

dkf:
airdrik:
This needs to be more enterprizy! They need to use xml and store it in the database!
Grasshopper, your understanding of enterprise-grade XML is somewhat lacking. Where are the schemas? Where are the DTDs? Where is the part where you set the types of rows to different values to indicate whether or not the particular report is to be generated?

So true. I try not to acquire that much understanding of a technology that is ill-fitted for the majority of its uses.

Captcha inhibeo: I would produce a more elegant solution but enterprize inhibeo.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
trtrwtf:
by:
trtrwtf:
The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.
Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

Since I'm a writer, that's actually quite a flattering comment. It's not often that you get a character so right that people assume you're talking about yourself.
When you do introspection on other people, it's called "projection".

When you take the position that one can only understand others in terms of oneself, that's called "sophistry". But I suppose you're right to a degree - in order to perform that exercise, I did have to ask myself "What sort of a person would I have to be in order to write the stuff that pseudo-Nagesh writes?" So if you take Nagel's fallacy from "What is it like to be a bat" as a legitimate philosophical position, then you could legitimately assume that I can only write characters that are in fact me. Of course, if you take that position, you run into all sorts of practical problems (even a cat can in fact project a mouse's likely actions without having to be the mouse), so you'd have to be a bit naive to accept the position you're fronting. In other words: don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

crap my eyes just went cross-sided..

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Fred:
Michael:
Donald:
Bosses ask us to "just add a button" ... but it's NEVER that simple is it?
I have banned the term "just" in the office. Everyone who uses it outside his/her domain has to contribute to the summer part fund. works rather well!! Same applies for: quick, easy, simple etc...
Yes, but what can we do about customer-provided size estimates?

Would you just install this little software package for me?

I only need a small change to the shipping cost calculation.

Addendum (2011-02-16 09:45): You don't have to be a registered user to amend your posts.

Next time, change the time when you copy the "Addendum" tg and you'll get mroe bites.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
hoodaticus:
trtrwtf:
by:
trtrwtf:
The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.
Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

Since I'm a writer, that's actually quite a flattering comment. It's not often that you get a character so right that people assume you're talking about yourself.
When you do introspection on other people, it's called "projection".

When you take the position that one can only understand others in terms of oneself, that's called "sophistry". But I suppose you're right to a degree - in order to perform that exercise, I did have to ask myself "What sort of a person would I have to be in order to write the stuff that pseudo-Nagesh writes?" So if you take Nagel's fallacy from "What is it like to be a bat" as a legitimate philosophical position, then you could legitimately assume that I can only write characters that are in fact me. Of course, if you take that position, you run into all sorts of practical problems (even a cat can in fact project a mouse's likely actions without having to be the mouse), so you'd have to be a bit naive to accept the position you're fronting. In other words: don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you.

Wow, you must really slay the ladies with that sort of talk...

Do you kiss your fellow "failures in life" co-workers with that mouth?

somedude · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

airdrik:

This needs to be more enterprizy! They need to use xml and store it in the database!

select columnXML from reportColumns

yields:

<ReportColumns>
	<Columns reportID="1">-,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,1</Columns>
	<Columns reportID="2">-,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,1</Columns>
	<Columns reportID="3">-,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0</Columns>
	<Columns reportID="4">-,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0</Columns>
	<Columns reportID="5">-,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0</Columns>
	...
	<Columns reportID="31">-,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0</Columns>
	<Columns reportID="0" blnRunReport=false>-,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0</Columns>
</ReportColumns>

Now you don't need to rebuild and deploy in order to change the columns on a report, you just need to change it in the database.

Each definition needs to be a child node.

<ReportColumns>
	<Columns reportID="1">
		<column>1</column>
		<column>0</column>
		<column>1</column>
		<column>1</column>
		... and so on

The XML needs to be generated dynamically by the database for each request.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

by:
Wow, you must really slay the ladies with that sort of talk...

It's true, if you want to sleep with stupid people, you have to talk to them as if they're stupid. I find that the people I like to go to bed with have brains and like to be treated as though they have brains. So I do okay.

(My amazing good looks and fab dancing skills don't hurt either, but what really gets 'em is my modesty)

Do you kiss your fellow "failures in life" co-workers with that mouth?

Three rules to keep the places you go liveable: Don't shit where you eat, always tip the bar staff, and never kiss a co-worker. Don't break any of those if you want to stay where you are.

Nagesh · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
This is preferred way to do this in CMS shop.

Stop spoiling my good name

Nagesh · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
frits:
C'mon people. This is actually a fairly clever and elegant data compression technique. You see, booleans often take up 32 bits of data storage. In this case, they only need 16 bits- 8 bits for the character, and 8 bits for the comma. Additionally, this is quite an ingenious way of representing a nullable boolean by using the "-" chanracter to represent the unused columns. A++ to this obviously talented developer!
Addendum (2011-02-16 09:45): For the dense, this is satire.
For the super-dense: this is VB, and VB stores internal strings in Unicode. So you don't even save the space.

Wouldn't that depend on the version there?

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

somedude:
Each definition needs to be a child node.
<ReportColumns>
	<Columns reportID="1">
		<column>1</column>
		<column>0</column>
		<column>1</column>
		<column>1</column>
		... and so on
The XML needs to be generated dynamically by the database for each request.

The classic WTF pattern of relying on XML children ordering!

Perfect.

Nagesh · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Nagesh:
This is preferred way to do this in CMS shop.

Stop spoiling my good name

Ha ha!

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
by:
Wow, you must really slay the ladies with that sort of talk...

It's true, if you want to sleep with stupid people, you have to talk to them as if they're stupid. I find that the people I like to go to bed with have brains and like to be treated as though they have brains. So I do okay.

(My amazing good looks and fab dancing skills don't hurt either, but what really gets 'em is my modesty)

Do you kiss your fellow "failures in life" co-workers with that mouth?

Three rules to keep the places you go liveable: Don't shit where you eat, always tip the bar staff, and never kiss a co-worker. Don't break any of those if you want to stay where you are.

Hey, whatever makes you sleep at night...

I just want to clarify that I do not condone sleeping around (esp. since I'm married), however being an arrogant, self-indulgent prick usually means you only keep the company of other like-minded arrogant, self-indulgent pricks...

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nelson Muntz:
Nagesh:
Nagesh:
This is preferred way to do this in CMS shop.

Stop spoiling my good name

Ha ha!

My thoughts exactly...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel.

If it were only the terrible sense of humour, his romantic prospects would be considerably less dismal; there certainly exist women with equally ugly senses of humour.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Abso:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
Bobbo:
frits:
Bobbo:
boog:
I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by case 4.

Is that like choking the chicken?

In which case, I made it as far as case 2.

Are you at work? If so, I'm pretty sure you could get fired for this.
Your not too bright, are you?

Yes I'm at work, but I own a chain of clothing stores so it's ok. This is actually company policy.

In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.
I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel.

If it were only the terrible sense of humour, his romantic prospects would be considerably less dismal; there certainly exist women with equally ugly senses of humour.

My guess is that he's probably not full-tard, but most likely a combination of language barrier and brain damage obtained from eating chicking from new-stands...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

[quote user="Abso]I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel. [/quote]

Good point. Maybe I was a little too simplistic in my caricature. Perhaps his failings as a human being have more dimensions than I originally suppose.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.

You won't see chicken shop in Hyderbad--that's far to risky. You will see plenty of them shopping in Denmark where animals have the same rights as human citizens.

frits · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.

...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Great Dane:
Nagesh:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.
You won't see chicken shop in Hyderbad--that's far to risky. You will see plenty of them shopping in Denmark where animals have the same rights as human citizens.

No, that's not a chicken you saw shopping. It's Sandi Toksvig, it's just that she's not much bigger than a chicken.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

[quote user="trtrwtf"][quote user="Abso]I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel. [/quote]

Good point. Maybe I was a little too simplistic in my caricature. Perhaps his failings as a human being have more dimensions than I originally suppose. [/quote] Aha! Your no writer! Someone with a legitimate command of the English (not British!) language would never use a noun that could be confused as a verb at that grammatical position in the sentence.

Own up to this.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

You are an idiot and should be banned from using your daddy and daddy's modem.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

[quote user="by (fake douchebag)"][quote user="trtrwtf"][quote user="Abso]I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel. [/quote]

Good point. Maybe I was a little too simplistic in my caricature. Perhaps his failings as a human being have more dimensions than I originally suppose. [/quote] Aha! Your no writer! Someone with a legitimate command of the English (not British!) language would never use a noun that could be confused as a verb at that grammatical position in the sentence.

Own up to this.[/quote]

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery...

BTW, I'm a software developer, not an English major. I actually learned stuff that I can use in the real world when I went to school.

I could never think of crap like "what is it like to be a bat"...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

[quote user="by (real)"][quote user="by (fake douchebag)"][quote user="trtrwtf"][quote user="Abso]I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel. [/quote]

Good point. Maybe I was a little too simplistic in my caricature. Perhaps his failings as a human being have more dimensions than I originally suppose. [/quote] Aha! Your no writer! Someone with a legitimate command of the English (not British!) language would never use a noun that could be confused as a verb at that grammatical position in the sentence.

Own up to this.[/quote]

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery...

BTW, I'm a software developer, not an English major. I actually learned stuff that I can use in the real world when I went to school.

I could never think of crap like "what is it like to be a bat"...[/quote]

Flamewar in 3... 2... 1...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Abso:
I'm sure that's part of the reason women don't like him, but the other part is that he's completely oblivious to what other people think of his sense of humour (or anything else he does). He only responds to what people say if it gives him an opening to say what he wanted to say anyways. Holding a conversation with fake Nagesh would be about as exciting as talking to your TV, except without the ability to change the channel.

Good point. Maybe I was a little too simplistic in my caricature. Perhaps his failings as a human being have more dimensions than I originally suppose.

Aha! Your no writer! Someone with a legitimate command of the English (not British!) language would never use a noun that could be confused as a verb at that grammatical position in the sentence.

Own up to this.

Addendum (2011-02-16 14:08): Fred was right! Unregistered users can modify their own comments!

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

by (real):
I could never think of crap like "what is it like to be a bat"...

It's actually a pretty cool essay. It's in Hofstadter and Dennett, "The Mind's I", which is full of cool stuff.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

Has the possibility ever occurred to anyone that there's just one unregistered troll posting multiple times and responding to himself? I think it's possible, but that person would have to be brillant for the razor-sharp, witty comments and steel-trap meme memory he/she enters.

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

John Hery:
frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

Has the possibility ever occurred to anyone that there's just one unregistered troll posting multiple times and responding to himself? I think it's possible, but that person would have to be brillant for the razor-sharp, witty comments and steel-trap meme memory he/she enters.

That, or schizophrenic...

hoodaticus · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
hoodaticus:
trtrwtf:
by:
trtrwtf:
The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.
Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

Oh wow, introspection at it's best, huh?

Since I'm a writer, that's actually quite a flattering comment. It's not often that you get a character so right that people assume you're talking about yourself.
When you do introspection on other people, it's called "projection".

When you take the position that one can only understand others in terms of oneself, that's called "sophistry". But I suppose you're right to a degree - in order to perform that exercise, I did have to ask myself "What sort of a person would I have to be in order to write the stuff that pseudo-Nagesh writes?" So if you take Nagel's fallacy from "What is it like to be a bat" as a legitimate philosophical position, then you could legitimately assume that I can only write characters that are in fact me. Of course, if you take that position, you run into all sorts of practical problems (even a cat can in fact project a mouse's likely actions without having to be the mouse), so you'd have to be a bit naive to accept the position you're fronting. In other words: don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you.

I'm not playing!

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
John Hery:
frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

Has the possibility ever occurred to anyone that there's just one unregistered troll posting multiple times and responding to himself? I think it's possible, but that person would have to be brillant for the razor-sharp, witty comments and steel-trap meme memory he/she enters.
That, or schizophrenic...

Well that, a little bi-polar and a dash of multiple personality disorder.

Oh, and a touch of "the downs" doesn't help matters either...

Ok, time to get back to setting things on fire and lining the walls of my apartment with tin-foil.

frits · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

John Hery:
frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

Has the possibility ever occurred to anyone that there's just one unregistered troll posting multiple times and responding to himself? I think it's possible, but that person would have to be brillant for the razor-sharp, witty comments and steel-trap meme memory he/she enters.

Careful, you may pull a muscle patting yoursel(f|ves) on the back(s). Euphemism alert!

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

frits:
John Hery:
frits:
Today on "The Daily What the Freud" sockpuppets analyze each other.
...or themselves. After all, who can tell?

Has the possibility ever occurred to anyone that there's just one unregistered troll posting multiple times and responding to himself? I think it's possible, but that person would have to be brillant for the razor-sharp, witty comments and steel-trap meme memory he/she enters.

Careful, you may pull a muscle patting yoursel(f|ves) on the back(s). Euphemism alert!

I saw what you did there, and I lol...

Nagesh · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Great Dane:
Nagesh:

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.
You won't see chicken shop in Hyderbad--that's far to risky. You will see plenty of them shopping in Denmark where animals have the same rights as human citizens.

Play on words is interesting. You're also slaughtering the language, not unlike me. :cattail:

Do you hate ENglish?

frits · 2011-02-16 Reply Admin

Great Dane:
Nagesh:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.
You won't see chicken shop in Hyderbad--that's far to risky. You will see plenty of them shopping in Denmark where animals have the same rights as human citizens.

Technically, the French are human...

2011-02-16 Reply Admin

frits:
Great Dane:
Nagesh:
trtrwtf:
Nagesh:
In Hyderabad, it is similar. At newstand, (which also sells clothes), you can buy fresh chicken made while you wait. This is great delicacy, as chickens cannot be frozen with power outages happening. In fact, I am eating chicken pita as I write this in internet cafe.

The funny thing is, he probably still thinks this is hilarious. I bet he's still laughing at his palak paneer joke. Ten bucks says he's a third-tier DB monkey from Kansas working in a third-tier financial firm New Jersey who hasn't figured out yet that the reason women don't like him is that his sense of "humor" is basically ugly and not very funny - like him - so he sits in bars and drinks too much and makes sexist jokes with his co-workers, also failures in life, then he goes home and consoles himself - if you know what I mean - with some porn, probably something featuring Indian women, to guess from his favorite riffs here.

Or I could be wrong, I suppose, it's just a guess.

I am certain he's not from my country. If he sees chicken shop in Hyderabad, he will give up eating chicken.
You won't see chicken shop in Hyderbad--that's far to risky. You will see plenty of them shopping in Denmark where animals have the same rights as human citizens.
Technically, the French are human...

Zing!

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