The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-07-12 Reply Admin

Zylon:
TheCPUWizard:
If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.
Eh, as trolling goes I give it a 3 out of 5. At least you're more intelligible than Nagesh.

Speaking of: Article about outsourcing, curry mentioned (in embedded comments) where is our old friend?

Silverhill · 2011-07-12 Reply Admin

XXXXX:
The Enterpriser:
I've been to Kazakblast. Twice.
Did you get bitten by any spiders? According to Stan Lee, that can have some Amazing side-effects

FTFY

boog · 2011-07-12 Reply Admin

TheCPUWizard:
One question I challenge everybody with: "If a writer from (fill in a technical magazine you value)..."

As I can name no technical magazine that I value, I suppose I'm void from answering this question. Moving on:

TheCPUWizard:
The second thing I regularly do during an interview is to ask potential candidates when was the last time they felt things were going "bad", and how they reacted. The best answer is they were able to lead an effort that resolved the situation. The second best answer is that they tried to get it resolved, realized they could not, and moved on to another job/position. The worst answer is that they "lived with it" and stayed in that position.

My answer: I complained, was ignored, and lived with it for as long as it took to get hired elsewhere.

Still, define "going bad". Getting assigned to a lousy project? Having to work with lousy contractors? These things aren't usually permanent*, and I'd think it's quite reckless for somebody to bail immediately when things don't go their way. Better to live with it for a while and see if things don't improve.

That said, there may be other reasons to stick around besides the work itself. Perhaps the pay is really good, or they give you free food, or the chick working in HR is cute and flirty, etc. People have their reasons.

Granted, while not permanent, even short assignments might be indicators of how management values you as an employee. If bad assignments keep coming your way, take it as a cue to get the hell out.

2011-07-12 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
TheCPUWizard:
The real "villian" in this story is actually Chuck. They way he handled the situation from day one reeks of unprofessional behavior.
Well before the first milestone, he should have informed his boss that the project was not being handled in a responsible and professional manner neither by management at his company nor by the consulting form.

If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided. Unfortunately the ones who do have ethics and professional attitudes are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well]
I am neither professional nor ethical, yet I am still EXTREMELY well paid. What do you have to say about that, smarty-pants?

Your lack of ethics, professionalism (and intelligence) are quite clear in everything you write. I guess the 'extremely well paid' explains the attitude...

2011-07-12 Reply Admin

Regarding jazz and background music on telephone hold:

s/Michael Bolton/Kenny G/ s/Clarinet/Oboe/

FTFY!!

2011-07-12 Reply Admin

Someone:
some dude who was passing by:
100,000Pounds for 6 months work in the software industry sounds cheap to me. Let's call it $250,000 (we'll assume 2.5 dollars to the pound, for now).

That's a very generous assumption when the exchange rate is about 0.63 GBP to 1 USD (1.6 USD to 1 GBP.)

you're right - but it kinda emphasises the point, doesn't it.

(I was sure the exchange rate was over $2 to the pound.... I guess the GFC hit everyone)

2011-07-12 Reply Admin

untalented_newbie:
DaveK:
C-Octothorpe:
I am neither professional nor ethical, yet I am still EXTREMELY well paid. What do you have to say about that, smarty-pants?
You are Rebekah Brooks and I claim my five pounds.
FTFY.

Time to end the disastrous democratic experiment.

Scarlet Manuka · 2011-07-12 Reply Admin

PedanticCurmudgeon:
frits:
Modern Jazz is write-only music.
FTFY

True. The jazz of the 1600s is much easier to listen to.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

There have enough references to Grimsby and other places in the area to just about make this reference to Grimsby and Hull relevant: "Humber Bridge" is slang for perineum - it joins the fishy bit to the shitty bit.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

The title should have been "Fuk Chuck"

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Pathetic? not at 4AM - I once hit 160 leptons on the M180, with not another vehicle to be seen in either direction.

Severity One · 2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Someone who can't be bothered to login from work:
I'm pleased to say I don't know anyone who says "mate" that often.

I do. He's from South London.

Given the A180 is near Grimsby, I'm kind of surprised they say it at all.

Maybe he moved?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Severity One:
Someone who can't be bothered to login from work:
I'm pleased to say I don't know anyone who says "mate" that often.
I do. He's from South London.
Given the A180 is near Grimsby, I'm kind of surprised they say it at all.
Maybe he moved?

Having read the article, I would suggest that Roger did indeed move. He moved, slowly, in his car. From where he lived to where he was going. Possibly back again, but uncertain. Via the M180, upon which he was "stuck" and hence late.

BTW, "mate" is a fairly common Aus term for a full stop, Cockney term for "potential victim", and Hull-speak for "person". It's fairly common in the whole of the UK, too, and generally means, erm, "pal". The meaning really depends on the body language; fists flying? Not your pal. Big hug? Your pal.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Chuck should have either quit, or just fixed the code himself,drink the free beer, and stop whinging. Or take a clue from Roger and start his own "consulting" firm.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Computers north of the Watford Line? Northerners with jobs? If you're going to make articles up, at least do some basic research first.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

If Chuck tries to be professional he would be chucked out. I feel as helpless as Chuck as I sometimes face this situation. And there is no where to go except to quit unless you have good reasons to stay back.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

boog:
C-Octothorpe:
I suspect either zunesis is a mod, or they like what he has to say. Either way, it's a WTF.
Either way, with Greasemonkey and a couple lines of Javascript, I don't even have to know he exists.
leans back in chair Life is good.

Thanks for point that out, now I'll start posting under a variety of names, registered and not.

Your not to bright are you?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
TheCPUWizard:
The real "villian" in this story is actually Chuck. They way he handled the situation from day one reeks of unprofessional behavior.
Well before the first milestone, he should have informed his boss that the project was not being handled in a responsible and professional manner neither by management at his company nor by the consulting form.

If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided. Unfortunately the ones who do have ethics and professional attitudes are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well]
Yes, we managers never ask employees to just slog through a difficult situation.

Agreed. There will always be times when you need to slog through some difficult (even if incompetent people are involved). I've had to take some shite on a shite stick with extra shite sauce system and get it into something workable (but i had full say in what was going on and not as bad as described above).

I will add that with the situation described here is WTF prime real estate and all for best for Chuck for functioning within the constraint 'work with this guy' (he escalated where needed, and management says 'keep at it'. Yea, that happens to; there's still a job to do).

TRWTF is IF management is aware of the real happenings (vendor is working out of his car, outsourced coding, charging 6-figure invoices for this tripe...) and STILL accepts what's produced, pays the bill and takes on this massive sinkhole of a project.

The only point where I'd be considering handing in my resignation is right at the end: if management knew all of the above, still takes it on, and still assigns you as the responsible person. Because as an employee, the only thig I'd be seeing at that point is trying to fix something that should never have existed.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

I live in Louth. I'm sat in my office on the industrial estate right now, even ;-)

I found "at the only pub in town" amusing given I can think of at least 7 different pubs in town and I don't even go to the pub. Heck, there are at least 3 nightclubs too. In a British town of 16,000, you're not going to just have one pub, I assure ya.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

boog:
C-Octothorpe:
I suspect either zunesis was originally a man, or I just really like chicks that look this way. Either way, it's a FTW.
Either way, with my Greasey monkey and a couple lines of coke, I don't even have to have blue balls.
leans back in chair My dick is hard.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

DaveK:
TFA:
The beatless clarinet noodling was probably supposed to sooth you while waiting for others to join the call. In practice, it was frustration as performed by Michael Bolton.
Except that Michael Bolton is a soft-rock singer, not a jazz clarinettist...

that's the anonymisation

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

anon:
There have enough references to Grimsby and other places in the area to just about make this reference to Grimsby and Hull relevant: "Humber Bridge" is slang for perineum - it joins the fishy bit to the shitty bit.

From what I remember either end smell about the same (both equally fishy/shitty).

C-Octothorpe · 2011-07-13 Reply Admin

laoreet:
C-Octothorpe:
TheCPUWizard:
The real "villian" in this story is actually Chuck. They way he handled the situation from day one reeks of unprofessional behavior.
Well before the first milestone, he should have informed his boss that the project was not being handled in a responsible and professional manner neither by management at his company nor by the consulting form.

If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided. Unfortunately the ones who do have ethics and professional attitudes are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well]
I am neither professional nor ethical, yet I am still EXTREMELY well paid. What do you have to say about that, smarty-pants?
Your lack of ethics, professionalism (and intelligence) are quite clear in everything you write. I guess the 'extremely well paid' explains the attitude...

Thank you for the kind words, however I don't recall ever claiming I was intelligent.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

*soothe, not sooth.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

The ultimate issue is business monkeys only want the product to be delivered as cheap as possible, as fast as possible, whilst strongly refusing the need for any standards, formal processes, maintenance issues, security issues, performance issues, they just do not care about anything apart from delivering the product for a cheap price.

That's why I have a very similar experience with one company driven by business monkeys. Their products wouldn't suck only if they made vacuum cleaners and black holes.

My new company's boss has masters in Computer Science. That's how it should be. Working for such director is an honor (10+ years hands-on CS experience).

Business monkeys should be ordered by the law to claim the following on their website: "This software/Internet company and all its projects are managed by individuals with no clue. Their only qualification is business. If you are a passionate developer with an appreciation for tidy code, standards, accessibility, usability, easy maintenance, documentation, professional processes, and if you have any qualification in this field what-so-ever, don't work here."

fubarsnafu · 2011-07-13 Reply Admin

""" 2011-07-13 03:16 • by Ram ED (unregistered) The title should have been "Fuk Chuck" """

Or perhaps the title instead, Fuck Up Chuck?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Machts nicht:
DaveK:
TFA:
The beatless clarinet noodling was probably supposed to sooth you while waiting for others to join the call. In practice, it was frustration as performed by Michael Bolton.
Except that Michael Bolton is a soft-rock singer, not a jazz clarinettist...
Which makes that beatless clarinet noodling all the more irritating.
Sorta like William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky".

I prefer his earth shattering rendition of Rocket Man: "I'm a ROCK! IT! MAN!"

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
Ajax in the Underworld:
Hey, great work, Chuck. Listen, since you're the closest person to this app, you're going to have to take point on it. The users have already submitted a list of feature requests. Jump on that when you get back into the office.
This is my fate as well. Thank God I have the authority to rewrite it.

This is my fate as well. Sadly, I have no authority to rewrite it, and every time I suggest doing something to improve the code, my boss tells me that we don't dare because there might be a regression impact. So I am required to try to continue to add new features, while not being allowed to fix any of the problems.

See, just talking about it has made me slip further into depression.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Machts nicht:
DaveK:
TFA:
The beatless clarinet noodling was probably supposed to sooth you while waiting for others to join the call. In practice, it was frustration as performed by Michael Bolton.
Except that Michael Bolton is a soft-rock singer, not a jazz clarinettist...
Which makes that beatless clarinet noodling all the more irritating.
Sorta like William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky".

PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW TO GET THIS IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD!!

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

TheCPUWizard:
The real "villian" in this story is actually Chuck. They way he handled the situation from day one reeks of unprofessional behavior.
Well before the first milestone, he should have informed his boss that the project was not being handled in a responsible and professional manner neither by management at his company nor by the consulting form.

If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided. Unfortunately the ones who do have ethics and professional attitudes are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well]

If "programmers" actually acted like whiny brats, so many of the programmers would be unemployed. Unfortunately the ones who do have smug egos and parents who let them live in their basements so they don't need a job are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well in my recurring fantasy dream. Oh, and they also have hordes of beautiful girls begging for their attention.]

FTFY

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Dear Remy, "Iliad" is the name of a famous literary work. "Illiad" is the name of the guy who writes "User Friendly."

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
TheCPUWizard:
The real "villian" in this story is actually Chuck. They way he handled the situation from day one reeks of unprofessional behavior.
Well before the first milestone, he should have informed his boss that the project was not being handled in a responsible and professional manner neither by management at his company nor by the consulting form.

If Chuck have professional ethics, he would have refused to be part of it, and given management a choice of either finding a way to remediate the situation, or find a new employee to handle it. Period. End of Discussion.

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided. Unfortunately the ones who do have ethics and professional attitudes are few and far between [and they are VERY highly sought after, and paid EXTREMELY well]

I've noticed this. In fact it only usually takes one person to say "this smells" for the shit to be formally noticed. But until somebody has the guts / stupidity / inability to dissemble to actually call it as he sees it, everyone pretends it's roses.

It can go two ways if you call the stink: you either galvanise everyone into action and get the stink cleared, or you find yourself more-or-less ceremoniously and obviously canned. It all depends on the language in which you couch your evaluation.

Hmm, in my experience, the far more common result is option #3: Management says, "Wow, thanks for bringing this to my attention. You have brought up many interesting points which I will carefully consider. I'll get back to you on this as soon as possible. In the meantime, please continue working under the current plan until I have had time to review what steps to take." And then of course that's the last you ever hear of it.

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

TheCPUWizard:
The second thing I regularly do during an interview is to ask potential candidates when was the last time they felt things were going "bad", and how they reacted. The best answer is they were able to lead an effort that resolved the situation. The second best answer is that they tried to get it resolved, realized they could not, and moved on to another job/position. The worst answer is that they "lived with it" and stayed in that position.

Really? Honestly? You're telling me that, as a manager, you WANT to hire people who will promptly quit the first time a decision is made that they think is a bad idea?

If anyone has any intelligence and sense of pride in his work at all, he's going to find at least one decision a week by his boss or people in another department that he thinks is a bad idea. Even if everyone in the company is extremely capable, surely they will all make decisions every now and then that you realize are mistakes, as you likely know or understand some things better than they do. And surely they will quite often make decisions that are debatable, and which, if it was up to you, would have been made differently.

Sure, if a lot of bad decisions are being made, at some point a capable person is going to say that he's fed up with being forced to do sub-standard work and it's time to move on.

But if you quit your job every time a decision is made that you don't like, well, I think you're going to be going through about a job a week for a few months, and then you're going to find it harder and harder to get a job as potential employers say, Do we want to hire someone who is going to quit before we've finished doing the HR paperwork?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Anyone remember Scooch in the Eurovision - Flying the Flag. Roger is doing it for us Brits!

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Is it wrong that I often find myself fantasizing about setting up a handful of companies like the one in the article and screwing over MBAs for a living rather than continue to work as a professional, ethical programmer?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

boog:
Wayne:
Yeah... probably meant Kenny G.
Was he a clarinettist? I thought he played the saxomaphone.

He typically plays the soprano sax, rather than the more common alto sax. So instead of a medium sized instrument with a stereotypical sax S-curve, it's smaller and straight. Anyone who didn't know what a soprano sax looks like (i.e. 99.9% of the population) could easily confuse it with a clarinet. (Both are significantly different from an oboe. Although, again, all look similar enough to the uninitiated.)

... why, yes, I was a band geek in High School. However did you guess?

Peter Cooper:
In a British town of 16,000, you're not going to just have one pub, I assure ya.

Of course. Even in the smallest town you need at least two. How else could the regulars claim that theirs is the better one?

2011-07-13 Reply Admin

Or kiwis and aussies.

2011-07-14 Reply Admin

Worrr Love-a-duck Mary Poppins me old china!

2011-07-14 Reply Admin

PseudoBovine:
... why, yes, I *was* a band geek in High School. However did you guess?

user="PseudoBovine"

I could tell.

2011-07-14 Reply Admin

G'day mate! I'll have your code done for ya, no worries!

2011-07-14 Reply Admin

TRWTF is Murkans not understanding British culture. You have to drink 8 pints after any meeting. You must however never mention the resulting shenanigans ever to anyone again.

notromda · 2011-07-14 Reply Admin

Salami:
TheCPUWizard:

If "programmers" actually acted like professionals, so many of the WTF's would be avoided.

Or, Chuck could have not cared as much. Why does Chuck care if another vendor doesn't deliver good software, as long as Chuck is absolved of blame.

Wow. Way to prove his point.

2011-07-15 Reply Admin

Hector:
What no bad teeth reference? You disappoint me...
btw - it's spelt 'Iliad' (Your not to smart our you?)

Yew can torque.

2011-07-18 Reply Admin

DaveK:
TFA:
The beatless clarinet noodling was probably supposed to sooth you while waiting for others to join the call. In practice, it was frustration as performed by Michael Bolton.
Except that Michael Bolton is a soft-rock singer, not a jazz clarinettist...

Did you just out yourself as a Michael Bolton fan?

Ajax in the Underworld

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