• erewhon (unregistered)

    The real WTF is the first-line support moron who can't tell when a user is having keyboard input issues, and asssumes that a replacement keyboard is required. Keyboards are usually the LAST thing to go wrong on a PC, not the first.

    As to the modem issue, it's not an unreasonable mistake to make. If she'd used a traditional external 56k modem previously for internet connectivity, then switched to another external ADSL modem to achieve the same results, then to the non-technical taking the ADSL modem and plugging it into the phone socket is a reasonable assumption (i.e. box+phone=internet). Again, the WTF is firt line support not being able to explain the difference and more importantly what to do next to get internet connectivity in a hotel.

    So many WTFs are IT centric geeks with their own world view shaking their heads at the non-IT literate and not being able to see the issue from their perspective and communicate accordingly.

    Captcha: acsi - a Spanish response to a TCP handshake

  • Mischief (unregistered)

    "They're All Idiots, Too" is like watching a monkey trying to open a beer.

  • Mike (unregistered)

    I've had that from Dell before, except my problem was one that was a problem with Vista that I had tried to fix myself and found that since I'd corrupted a lot of vital things, I needed a repair install.

    7 days and 12 separate phonecalls later, they finally stopped trying to fix my problem and sent out the appropriate CD in the post.

    When it arrived, I found they had sent my Vista Business for my Vista Ultimate laptop.

    Genius, Dell. Just genius.

  • Quirkafleeg (unregistered)

    The CFO should have ordered black BlackBerries. The red ones aren't working properly because they're not fully ripened…

  • (cs) in reply to RayS
    RayS:
    Jason!:
    I'm on Sheila's side, too. "Any Key" means ANY KEY, unless you happen to have some sort of innate knowledge of why some keys are "different". Much better to say "Press Enter or Return to continue".
    that's all well and good until someone presses another key and complain that the app progresses without them pressing Enter.

    Far better to list every key that can be pressed to continue.

    Alternatively, you could simply require the user to press the space bar (the developer in the story made his preference known, also, it is unambiguous in a way "Enter or Return" is not).

    I know choices are "good", but if only a subset works anyway, saying "any" key doesn't work. Telling them a specific key is much better in most cases. But telling them a specific key and having it accept more than that is bad. Therefore, make a choice that the program will progress when [favorite key] is pressed, and check the keypresses to continue.

  • A Gould (unregistered) in reply to Bumbowler
    Bumbowler:
    In #4 the wtf is that it took him 45 mins to get screws out of dell from someone who probably didn't speak English as a first language whilst he was afk for considerable times. I know, right?

    I thought the WTF was that it took 45 minutes to handle a 1 minute phone call, because the rep was locked into a support script that didn't have a "CASE (Caller knows what he needs)".

    (I know some ex-Dell folks, and the problem is that they hire some IT folks, and some CSR folks, mix them together, and then build service models on worst common denominator. So you might get a CSR whose stuck following the script because they don't know any better, or you might get an IT guy who knows exactly what you need, but is stuck following the script 'cause he'll get fired otherwise.)

  • legal weasel (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf fool

    Don't forget that DSL providers like to insist on authenticated PPPo[E|A]. So to users who reboot often and kept the defaults on whatever horrible software the ISP put on the CD, they're always having to re-enter their password [feels like dialing] and being 'disconnected' after 30 minutes of inactivity [feels like.. dialup].

    I do admit I haven't seen a setup with a Windows box as the PPP client since XP grew native support, but the mechanics are still the same.

    TRWTF is ISPs demanding authentication (but not encryption) for service on a fixed line that could only be abused by wiretap. But I guess there's always that risk the tech might plug in your neighbor instead of you, and it would be wrong to give an unpaying customer the benefit of DSL, as if they'd bought a modem to leave plugged in, just in case...

  • Criticman (unregistered) in reply to A Gould

    I've always opted to do the online support chat for my own "convenience" of being able to work on multiple other projects while I wait for them to respond. I wonder though if they are able to go off-script via the phone more readily than they can via the chat.

    We have an online support chat here at work and I know that managers review every single one after it concludes. They have no idea some of the stuff I overhear the service people telling callers...

  • SCB (unregistered) in reply to Mischief
    Mischief:
    "They're All Idiots, Too" is like watching a monkey trying to open a beer.
    Wait - you have a pet monkey? Or was this something you saw on YouTube?
  • (username *)me; (unregistered) in reply to legal weasel
    legal weasel:
    Don't forget that DSL providers like to insist on authenticated PPPo[E|A]. So to users who reboot often and kept the defaults on whatever horrible software the ISP put on the CD, they're always having to re-enter their password [feels like dialing] and being 'disconnected' after 30 minutes of inactivity [feels like.. dialup].

    I do admit I haven't seen a setup with a Windows box as the PPP client since XP grew native support, but the mechanics are still the same.

    TRWTF is ISPs demanding authentication (but not encryption) for service on a fixed line that could only be abused by wiretap. But I guess there's always that risk the tech might plug in your neighbor instead of you, and it would be wrong to give an unpaying customer the benefit of DSL, as if they'd bought a modem to leave plugged in, just in case...

    Isp software is the worst, ick!

    A few years back(when I was a noob) I tried to use isp cd on windows 98(which was still prevalent and ms supported), the cd said 2000/xp only but I decided to try it anyway. Rather than do the sane thing and do an os check and popup with "unsupported os" it dutifully crashed the pc....

    The best setup I have had for dsl is a modem with a built in login client and ethernet connection. Once the modem is setup with login and password it can be forgotten about. No screwing around at all in most linux distros and all windows needs to know is that you have an "always on internet connection". Best of all no cd! All that is needed is the modems default gateway in a browser for setup.

  • (cs) in reply to Tim
    Tim:
    panzi:
    Maybe "Agent (K______)" isn't a dumb employee but a very intelligent bot? Hm, but then he should have started the conversation with: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" :P
    Surely, "Tell me more about your motherboard."

    "Let me tell you about my motherboard" shoots the gun

  • Quirkafleeg (unregistered) in reply to erewhon
    erewhon:
    As to the modem issue, it's not an unreasonable mistake to make. If she'd used a traditional external 56k modem previously for internet connectivity, then switched to another external ADSL modem to achieve the same results, then to the non-technical taking the ADSL modem and plugging it into the phone socket is a reasonable assumption (i.e. box+phone=internet).
    Not here, it isn't, unless you happen to have an RJ11-to-BS6312 adapter; but that seems unlikely

    However, I note that many countries use RJ11 for both telephone and ADSL. This (not differentiating) is the real WTF.

  • JB (unregistered) in reply to (username *)me;
    (username *)me;:
    The best setup I have had for dsl is a modem with a built in login client and ethernet connection. Once the modem is setup with login and password it can be forgotten about. No screwing around at all in most linux distros and all windows needs to know is that you have an "always on internet connection". Best of all no cd! All that is needed is the modems default gateway in a browser for setup.
    That's what my router is for, it stores the DSL connection type, username & password so I never have to enter anything, on any computer for internet access.
  • (cs) in reply to erewhon
    erewhon:
    As to the modem issue, it's not an unreasonable mistake to make. If she'd used a traditional external 56k modem previously for internet connectivity, then switched to another external ADSL modem to achieve the same results, then to the non-technical taking the ADSL modem and plugging it into the phone socket is a reasonable assumption (i.e. box+phone=internet). Again, the WTF is firt line support not being able to explain the difference and more importantly what to do next to get internet connectivity in a hotel.

    So many WTFs are IT centric geeks with their own world view shaking their heads at the non-IT literate and not being able to see the issue from their perspective and communicate accordingly.

    Amen, the real wtf in that story is that it took this retard 20 minutes to figure out that she wasn't connected to the internet at all. I mean ffs, isn't one of your first checks "pull up your browser, can you go to google.com? Type in 'big tits', what comes up?"

  • Ben4jammin (unregistered)
    Modem: a device you connect between a phone line and a computer enabling you to dial up to the internet from your computer. You can use it from multiple locations but may have to change the phone number on the computer if you try to use it abroad or through a switchboard that needs a prefix for external lines.

    DSL Modem: a device that you connect between a phone line and a computer enabling you to connect to the internet from your computer. It only works if your phone company has enabled the exchange end of your phone line.

    Yeah of course all users should be born with this knowledge. It's soooo obvious.

    Right, it isn't obvious to many, but once you get to the point of:

    She didn't quite believe me and said she was going to call the DSL company, anyway.
    Then you just lost me. WTF did you call me if you aren't going to accept my answer? That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to support. Don't waste my time generating an answer you are just going to ignore. If you trust the provider more than me, then leave me out of it and just go straight to wasting their time.

    It would be like me taking my car to a mechanic, and when he tells me the timing belt needs to be replaced I reply with "nah that's not it...I'm gonna call the guy that sold me my tires"

  • Anon (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that Chris H kept on with that (45 minute) conversation without thinking "Sod this, I can pop down to the local hardware store and buy 4 screws for about $0.02/each and get on with my life." It'll be quicker than waiting for Dell to ship the screws.

  • (cs) in reply to (username *)me;
    (username *)me;:
    A few years back(when I was a noob) I tried to use isp cd on windows 98(which was still prevalent and ms supported), the cd said 2000/xp only but I decided to try it anyway. Rather than do the sane thing and do an os check and popup with "unsupported os" it dutifully crashed the pc....

    I'm not sure the CD was 100% to blame here. It did warn you what OSes it supported.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    I mean ffs, isn't one of your first checks "pull up your browser, can you go to google.com? Type in 'big tits', what comes up?"

    Hang on......"THIS SITE HAS BEEN BLOCKED".

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    That first story sounds made up. I mean come on, a female CIO?

    CFO, not CIO. I admit I had to go back to confirm the identity after I read it the first time as it seemed odd. A CFO acting like that makes sense...

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered)

    "But you ordered the entire department red BlackBerry phones?"

    That is not a question.

  • Outtascope (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Anyone with an ounce of common sense would surely come to the same conclusion. To escalate the problem so high and threaten to dump the entire unit without bothering to try one of the other "any" keys is just plain retarded.

    To have called support without first having tried 4-12 keys simultaneously (and forcefully) is the real shocker. I usually have to spend a little time reinserting keys into their sockets before I call support for any reason.

  • mk (unregistered)

    I almost always use shift when I'm called upon to hit any key. That way I'm guaranteed not to be accidentally entering text somewhere.

    While Sheila is obviously not the brightest, not letting shift count for "any key" is pretty dumb.

  • Organizer (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf fool

    This user purchased DSL as a subscription service, and got a modem. Why would anyone assume a service for a particular address works everywhere?

    Even today's cell-phone world has no-service zones. So, the "everything can be wireless" argument isn't valid either.

  • Organizer (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf fool

    This user purchased DSL as a subscription service, and got a modem. Why would anyone assume a service for a particular address works everywhere?

    Even today's cell-phone world has no-service zones. So, the "everything can be wireless" argument isn't valid either.

  • Organizer (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf fool

    This user purchased DSL as a subscription service, and got a modem. Why would anyone assume a service for a particular address works everywhere?

    Even today's cell-phone world has no-service zones. So, the "everything can be wireless" argument isn't valid either.

  • (username *)me (unregistered) in reply to jmucchiello
    jmucchiello:
    (username *)me;:
    A few years back(when I was a noob) I tried to use isp cd on windows 98(which was still prevalent and ms supported), the cd said 2000/xp only but I decided to try it anyway. Rather than do the sane thing and do an os check and popup with "unsupported os" it dutifully crashed the pc....

    I'm not sure the CD was 100% to blame here. It did warn you what OSes it supported.

    True, but it's one thing to put it in the small print on the label and another to actually deal the issue. It's the difference between saying "don't push the big red button" and taking the big red button away.

    From memory that happened somewhere around 2001 - 2004, so unlike today, there were still lots of windows 98 users around. These days such a problem could easily be forgiven because of the relatively small user base and the degree of obsolescence of the OS.

  • anon (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    amischiefr:
    That first story sounds made up. I mean come on, a female CIO?

    Except that it was a female CFO, which is definitely plausible.

    the real wtf is women in management. You want to fuck up a company really fast, put some women in upper management.

  • (cs)

    The last one's not a WTF. Smaller screws make perfect sense for embedded systems.

  • somedude (unregistered)

    Yes, send me all the screws. Maybe I needing later, but not for embedded development since the laptop has a hard drive storage system.

  • IT Girl (unregistered) in reply to Capt. Obvious
    Capt. Obvious:
    RayS:
    Jason!:
    I'm on Sheila's side, too. "Any Key" means ANY KEY, unless you happen to have some sort of innate knowledge of why some keys are "different". Much better to say "Press Enter or Return to continue".
    that's all well and good until someone presses another key and complain that the app progresses without them pressing Enter.

    Far better to list every key that can be pressed to continue.

    Alternatively, you could simply require the user to press the space bar (the developer in the story made his preference known, also, it is unambiguous in a way "Enter or Return" is not).

    I know choices are "good", but if only a subset works anyway, saying "any" key doesn't work. Telling them a specific key is much better in most cases. But telling them a specific key and having it accept more than that is bad. Therefore, make a choice that the program will progress when [favorite key] is pressed, and check the keypresses to continue.

    I've never understood why so few software companies don't use the instruction "Hit a key to continue". I've never had any trouble with an end user installing with those instructions. Even the "dumb" ones hit the "a" key.

  • (cs) in reply to derula
    derula:
    The last one's not a WTF. Smaller screws make perfect sense for embedded systems.

    True. Also, unlike Java and C# developers with their HUGE memories, embedded developers are well aware that it's not the size of the screw, but how you use it that counts.

  • IT Girl (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:

    the real wtf is women in management. You want to fuck up a company really fast, put some women in upper management.

    Not according to Microsoft, Business Week, or Psychology Today.

    Captcha: "iusto" be prejudiced too.

  • (cs)
    Micirio:
    Anish:
    "Amazingly at that moment, the software support staff became disconnected from the conference call. "

    Why did the support staff became disconnected? Did they figure out what happened and hung up?

    I'm sure they hang up to hide their laughter from the client.

    More likely they were delaying an inevitable chewing out when they realized they allowed a trivial to fix issue escalate to 3rd tier support and ship 3 working keyboards to a client before someone with more brains than they have asked the client to try a second key.

  • Al G. (unregistered)
    "Amazingly at that moment, the software support staff became disconnected from the conference call. I calmly explained to Sheila that the [SHIFT] button was only a control for the keyboard in many cases and what most software referred to when they asked for the ANY key was actually a simple and quick tap on the [SPACE BAR]. The installation proceeded from there with alacrity and no complete unit was called in to cover the job."

    I think that was their way of saying "not it!"

  • Chris (unregistered) in reply to Steve Urkel
    Steve Urkel:
    Did I miss something?

    The "any key" one I get - I agree that the message is a bit non-specific, but still, trying a DIFFERENT key should be the first thing anyone with an IQ over 50 would try.

    And #3 is indeed a pretty big WTF.

    However, #1 (blackberry) and #4 (dell screw support) just seem completely pointless. Where's the WTF there? Is there some sort of clever obscure joke hidden in there somewhere?

    #1 you have apparently never worked before; or are lucky enough to have always worked for someone competent. #4 you have apparently never called/chatted with Dell tech support before.

  • AdT (unregistered)

    Apple would have sent iScrews that fit every diameter, automatically tighten themselves without user interaction and wirelessly backup the hard disk, only they would have been $30 a piece and would have installed iTunes on your MBR.

  • (cs)

    My favorite part of the whole thing:

    11/12/2009 02:58:06PM Agent (K______): "You may Now close this window" 11/12/2009 02:59:48PM Agent (K______): "You there,Chris?"
  • gilhad (unregistered) in reply to Keloran
    Keloran:
    I think the problem is not that it should have said press any key between a and z,...
    Ooops, on my keyboard there is no key between "a" (1.st on 2.row) and "z" (1.st on 1.row) - those tho keys are adjacend :(

    Anyway - i was solving similar "mystery", where some script for backups did not worked and did not backup anything and the poor women had to start everything from begin ... till i dicovered, that after geting the usual system message "Insert new disk and press any key to continue" she did not choose any letter, nor number, nor arrows, nor function keys, even none of Shift, Alt, Caps Lock and similar, nor any other key on her keyboard, but the big red key on the case - reset button - and computer restarted and she had to start everything from begin ....

  • shimon (unregistered)

    I absolutely like the first story. It must make all feminists around cry out loud in despair. Because in my life, I have seen a bunch of women think, speak and act exactly like this CFO (except that Blackberries don't sell well in my country). And I have yet to encounter a man with such mindset. Maybe they exist, but I don't frequent mental hospitals so I can't tell.

    This ignorance for the basics of real life and consequence of their own decisions are cute if you can kiss them on a cheek, take 'em later on a diner and have good nighttime together afterwards, otherwise it makes me want to smash a chair in their general direction.

  • a feminist (unregistered) in reply to shimon
    shimon:
    it makes me want to smash a chair in their general direction.
    Aren't you overreacting?
    shimon:
    I don't frequent mental hospitals so I can't tell.
    Well, here's something to consider...
  • gilhad (unregistered) in reply to white tentacle
    white tentacle:
    Can't manage to find the "any" key on my keyboard...

    there are stickers saying "Any Key" which you can buy and place on space bar - sounds funny, but helped to too much users that i met in my life - the terrible task of having freedom was removed from them and they did exactly which "Any Key" they should press. Worked like charm :)

    Captcha: causa .. yes, it is :)

  • lizardb0y (unregistered)

    This story reminded me of a support call I once took.

    Working for an ISP in the mid-90s was a challenging job; in one day I'd be network engineer, system administrator, solution designer and helpdesk weenie - all before lunch time.

    I remember answering a support call one afternoon:

    "Hello, This is Effective Internet, Andrew Speaking."

    "The Internet is broken!" came the inevitable response.

    "I'm sorry, who is this speaking?"

    "Sharon Beatrice - I work at Carmudgeon College" she said.

    Carmudgen College was a local, very prestigious private Girl's School. I confirmed that she was calling from the school and brought up the customer account details.

    "Can you explain what problem you're experiencing?" I asked.

    "Yes, I can't get my email."

    A few questions later I'd confirmed that she was using Eudora on a Windows 3.11 computer. It seemed this was shared computer in the school library. I asked if there were any error mesages coming up.

    "Why are you asking me all these questions! Can't you just make it work?!" came the exasperated response.

    "I'm sorry," I said, "but I have to understand what is causing the problem before I can help you fix it. Are you seeing an error message pop up?" I persisted.

    "Yes, there's a little box comes up when I click the 'Check Mail' button."

    "Can you read the mesage in the box out to me?"

    "It says 'Error Getting Network Address (10054)'"

    This was a familiar Winsock error; it usually meant that the user wasn't connected.

    "OK," I asked, "Are you sure you've dialed up to connect to the internet?"

    "No! I don't need to dial up or anything. It always just works."

    "Are you sure? I've checked our records and the school has a dial-up Internet plan. To connect to the Internet you need to get your modem to dial-in to our systems."

    "Of course I'm sure - I'm not stupid!" she shouted, "I've never had to do this 'dial-up' before!" This was starting to get out of hand. As a final gambit I asked her if it was possible that someone else might have dialed up before she used the computer in the past but was subjected to an unintelligable a tirade of angry abuse.

    At this point a quietly told her I wasn't able to continue the call and that she was welcome to call again once she'd calmed down.

    About 30 minutes later, after taking another couple of calls, I went and checked the Carmudgeon College usage records. Sure enough, about 15 minutes after I got off that call someone using the school account had dialed up and checked the email for one of their teachers; one "Sharon Beatrice".

  • (cs)

    The ANY key story reminds me when I was a desktop support analyst. The help desk had transferred a call to me for a user who was having a problem with their computer's screen resolution. The monitor was recently replaced with a smaller monitor, and the resolution was set too high. The start menu was off screen and inaccessible. I instructed the user to right-click their mouse on a blank portion of the screen to open the explorer menu exposing the screen options. This is kind of how it went...

    <me> Right click your mouse and you should see a menu appear on the screen. <user> Nothing happens. <me> Is the mouse cursor visible? <user> Yes. <me> When you move the mouse, does the cursor move? <user> Yes. <me> Let's try this again - right click your mouse and a menu should appear on the screen. <user> Nothing happens. Is my mouse broken? <me> Can you see any icons on the screen? <user> Yes. <me> Can you click on the icon? <user> Yes. <me> Ok. Right click on the icon and does a menu appear? <user> I just clicked on the icon -why do you want me to click it again? Do you want me to double click it? <me> No, right click on the icon. <user> I have been right clicking the icons the whole time we have been talking! I don't understand! <me> Ok. I want you to wrong mouse click on the screen. Do you see a menu? <user> Huh? <me> Click the other mouse button. Do you see a menu? ...

    It is way too easy to assume others know just what we are talking about.

  • (username *)me (unregistered)
    Homer:
    To start press any key.

    where is the any key?

    I see esk ca-tar-el and pig-up.

    There doesn't seem to be any any key.

    whoooh

    All this computer hacking is making me thristy, I think I'll order a tab.

    click

    Oop no time for that now the computer is starting.

  • Srh (unregistered)

    Dude, this agent sounds like bad AI agent.

  • shimon (unregistered) in reply to a feminist
    a feminist:
    shimon:
    it makes me want to smash a chair in their general direction.
    Aren't you overreacting?
    No, because makes me want to smash != makes me smash.
    a feminist:
    shimon:
    I don't frequent mental hospitals so I can't tell.
    Well, here's something to consider...
    I'll consider visiting you, maybe. Should I bring flowers?

    C: bene, approvingly. I will bring flowers, like it or not.

  • No Pickles (unregistered) in reply to Various Pickles
    Various Pickles:
    Harddrive screws = more than likely M3x0.5 :D

    /thread

    0.5mm long? Those won't be very useful to hold any harddrive in place. they are actually 3mm long: http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/xpsM1330/en/sm/hdd.htm The XPS M1330 is actually quite well engineered. If I'm not mistaken, there are only 4 different kinds of screws (M2, M2.5, the M3 for the hdd and inexplicably, some shiny M2s for the Keyboard, hidden under a cover). Compared to the 11 different types of screws I had to remove to get the hdd out of my Macbook Pro (and the cable that's glued on top of the drive), the XPS is a pleasure to work with, much like DELL's german call center where I ordered almost the whole notebook except the display and the mainboard in spare parts.

  • (cs) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    That first story sounds made up. I mean come on, a female CIO?
    I work for a 100 billion dollar company and both our current and previous CIOs were females.
  • SwedishChef (unregistered)

    Any key... And no Simpson reference?

  • (cs) in reply to Chain Style Guy
    Chain Style Guy:
    Zylon:
    WTF is a "chain style" restaurant?
    +1. That was my first thought, too.
    A franchise operation.

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