• Chris (unregistered)

    Aww, guys, I wasn't that bad, was I?

    Was I?

  • (cs)

    Cheeto'd.

    not spam not spam!

  • Ed (unregistered)

    Loving the Portal reference.

  • (cs)

    Ah yes, the 'my son is a wiz with computers' forced intern.

    Well, hopefully we'll see more of Chris in the future. After all, we will need more stories.

  • Yuval (unregistered) in reply to Ed
    Ed:
    Loving the Portal reference.

    Well then, this should be the Companion Tube.

  • (cs)

    What's a server closet?

  • Jay (unregistered)

    I didn't agree with you the first time you said it, but after you repeated it a few times I found it more funny!

  • (cs)

    It seems to me that the long metal bar could have easily served as a disciplinary implement.

    Beside Chris's head was a sign that read, "ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THIS ROOM."

    "Hey, I brought you some coffee," Chris said.

    Rob reached for the metal bar that was propped in a corner behind some equipment. "DIE DIE DIE!!"

  • Jenkins (unregistered)

    I miss MFD...

  • (cs) in reply to Jenkins
    Jenkins:
    I miss MFD...
    No.
  • SeySayux (unregistered) in reply to gero
    gero:
    What's a server closet?

    A miniscuous server room.

  • (cs)

    The Force was clearly not strong in that one (maybe the Schwartz was, though).

    I was imagining Chris Griffin (from Family Guy) the whole time.

  • Ken (unregistered)

    I would have sat him at a desk and had him just browse the web doing "research" about the new application server the company was "considering".

    A throw away intern should do only throw away work and sure as hell should never be allowed near anything valuable.

  • Ken (unregistered) in reply to Ken
    Ken:
    I would have sat him at a desk and had him just browse the web doing "research" about the new application server the company was "considering".

    A throw away intern should do only throw away work and sure as hell should never be allowed near anything valuable.

    Oh yeah... and his computer shouldn't have access to the internal network so his "safe browsing" habits don't screw anything up.

  • brown belt?!?!?! (unregistered)

    They should've taken that rod and put it somewhere Chris would remember them by ;)

    As for a brown belt in JKD? WTF?! There are no belts in JKD unless you wear one to keep your pants up.

  • MyNameHere (unregistered)

    There is a bar, but no magnet. This makes me sad.

  • razor (unregistered)

    sounds unbelievable

  • (cs)

    Bruce Lee is doing sushi rolls in his grave.

  • (cs)

    Very well written dude, good job.

  • SyntaxError (unregistered)

    One of the best comments I have ever read:

    Hey," Rob asked, "how did your brown belt test go?" "Oh, man, I did so great they totally said that I should have gotten awarded my black-belt right there, but the other students would have been too jealous. We had a secret ceremony where they gave me a black-belt and my secret warrior name. It's Wolf."

    And yes, nut shots are always funny.

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to SeySayux
    SeySayux:
    gero:
    What's a server closet?

    A miniscuous server room.

    I once had a minuscule tear in my miniscuous. It was incredibly painful.

  • ysth (unregistered)

    Favorite line: "The morning passed without Rob retiring any more asset tags."

  • vrkn (unregistered)

    had one of those chris' at my work. Apperently, an Intel core i7-940 fits in more then one way in the socket. Caused us to need to order a new motherboard and a new CPU.

  • Gary Olson (unregistered)

    Ah, nepotism. The ninth layer of the network model. Always useful for creating outages in all the other layers.

  • Rapholine (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    It seems to me that the long metal bar could have easily served as a disciplinary implement.
    Beside Chris's head was a sign that read, "ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THIS ROOM."

    "Hey, I brought you some coffee," Chris said.

    Rob reached for the metal bar that was propped in a corner behind some equipment. "DIE DIE DIE!!"
    It's clear that rather than settling for anonymous sock puppets, Remy has now moved on to registered ones.

  • the real fake frits (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    It seems to me that the long metal bar could have easily served as a disciplinary implement.
    Beside Chris's head was a sign that read, "ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THIS ROOM."

    "Hey, I brought you some coffee," Chris said.

    Rob reached for the metal bar that was propped in a corner behind some equipment. "DIE DIE DIE!!"

    Who hasn't done something like this?

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    I was imagining Chris Griffin (from Family Guy) the whole time.

    Same here (although I'd forgot that the character's name was Chris until I saw your comment).

  • (cs)

    Wow, lots of NSFW WTFs in this story.

    What does "need a gopher" mean? Did he need someone to nibble on something for him?

    Why did Rob have a scalded groin? Was his groin exposed when Chris entered?

    At what point did these two individuals come out of the closet? Was the large metal rod used in any way?

    On a serious note, the misuse of the comma (should be semicolon after tripped) totally killed my interest in the rest of the story. Other than that, it was a pretty well written piece.

  • StayClassy (unregistered)

    LoL One giant fat joke. Up yours, OP.

  • Jimmy (unregistered) in reply to gero
    gero:
    What's a server closet?

    It's where gay servers hide....

  • Indec (unregistered)

    Why do I think Homer Simpson and the inanimate copper rod?

  • Arvo Pentti (unregistered)

    Stupid and fake story.

  • Mr Magoo (unregistered)

    We're advertising IT jobs now?? (and for companies so small they can only afford pages on (free) social networks?)

  • Daniel Migowski (unregistered)

    We once had an intern named Kai that was to setup an Exchange server. While uninstalling the old one, he managed to delete every Active Directory User which ever had a mail account (which includes nearly every employee in our company).

    Since then we had a new unit of measurement for chaos named "Kai". Since then every fault is measured in Kai, with a 1 Kai incident on the interns second day.

    PS: I know the real WTF is having him doing this while just being an intern.

  • (cs) in reply to Rapholine
    Rapholine:
    boog:
    It seems to me that blah blah innocent-comment blah...
    It's clear that rather than settling for anonymous sock puppets, Remy has now moved on to registered ones.
    So you're suggesting that Remy went through the trouble of logging in under a registered fake username just to post a silly comment that was completely neutral to his article?

    Fascinating...

  • JoC (unregistered) in reply to boog

    Some people really do seem to be cursed. That dude sounds like one.

  • fake boog for a change (unregistered) in reply to JoC
    JoC:
    Some people really do seem to be cursed. That dude sounds like one.

    I'll say. Everyone who ever has to work with him will be cursing him, it sounds like.

  • Mr Magoo (unregistered) in reply to Daniel Migowski
    Daniel Migowski:
    We once had an intern named Kai that was to setup an Exchange server. While uninstalling the old one, he managed to delete every Active Directory User which ever had a mail account (which includes nearly every employee in our company).

    Since then we had a new unit of measurement for chaos named "Kai". Since then every fault is measured in Kai, with a 1 Kai incident on the interns second day.

    PS: I know the real WTF is having him doing this while just being an intern.

    He recently released a new Operating System - 'KaiOS'

  • (cs) in reply to boog
    boog:
    It seems to me that the long metal bar could have easily served as a disciplinary implement.
    Beside Chris's head was a sign that read, "ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THIS ROOM."

    "Hey, I brought you some coffee," Chris said.

    Rob reached for the metal bar that was propped in a corner behind some equipment. "DIE DIE DIE!!"

    Yeah, Oookaaay. Like he'd have any chance against a master of Jeet-Kun-Do.

  • Faded (unregistered)

    What did Dad do to make his kid into such a disconnected kluts?

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Daniel Migowski
    Daniel Migowski:
    We once had an intern named Kai that was to setup an Exchange server. While uninstalling the old one, he managed to delete every Active Directory User which ever had a mail account (which includes nearly every employee in our company).

    Since then we had a new unit of measurement for chaos named "Kai". Since then every fault is measured in Kai, with a 1 Kai incident on the interns second day.

    PS: I know the real WTF is having him doing this while just being an intern.

    No shit that was the real WTF... You had an intern setting up a new Exchange server and uninstalling an old one?

    Your team is a new unit of measurement for fail.

    You guys are bigger morons than the intern.

  • backForMore (unregistered)

    "The warning went unheeded. Chris's foot found a delicate barometric imbalance around floor level; he tripped, the coffee went flying. The company's internal webserver was destroyed, and Rob dealt with the after effects of a scalded groin."

    So his groin was exposed and sitting on the web server? I would never sit my family jewels on the web server for fear of injection attacks.

  • by (unregistered) in reply to Faded
    Faded:
    What did Dad do to make his kid into such a disconnected kluts?

    It's amazing how sheltering a child from the real world can affect them as adults. I'm sure CTO-dad bought everything for his uncoordinated little ball of sweat and butter... Getting his half-wit son the job just proves my point.

    Fortunately, things like this only happen once (esp. when they're this bad), because usually there are stake-holders or directors who carry a much bigger stick than any of the upper management ever could.

  • (cs) in reply to Faded
    Faded:
    What did Dad do to make his kid into such a disconnected kluts?
    His idiot wife, my guess.
  • Slumberjack (unregistered) in reply to Indec
    Indec:
    Why do I think Homer Simpson and the inanimate copper rod?

    For crying out loud, it was an inanimate CARBON rod!

  • LANMind (unregistered) in reply to Arvo Pentti
    Arvo Pentti:
    Stupid and fake story.

    What's your objection - the nepotism, or the incompetent intern?

    Wait, are you an intern related to management? Oh then, nevermind; this is a totally made up story that you should forget all about. And tell your uncle that all the employees like and respect him!

  • z f k (unregistered)

    I can see Chris coming back some year later, as IT manager.

    CYA

  • (cs)

    Why didn't he duck? dah dum tish

  • Randy Snicker (unregistered) in reply to gero
    gero:
    What's a server closet?
    Where the maid is kept.
  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Yeah, Oookaaay. Like he'd have any chance against a master of Jeet-Kun-Do.
    True, a master whose training consists of carrying workstations with his chubby, Cheeto-stained hands is still, technically, a master.

    Add his experience in Ancient Five Foot Metal Bar technique, and you've got yourself a top-notch fighting machine.

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