• jpk (unregistered)

    Let's see... 5 extra hours per week = 260 hours per year = 6.5 extra weeks of work. I'll pass on the pto payout.

  • (cs)

    So he's efficient and knowledgeable and competent, but he spends your $40/hr time haranguing everyone about government conspiracies.

    Trust me, you want to pay the extra money and tell him to stay on task.

  • Crazybone (unregistered)

    5 personal days?

    We get 26. And we can buy more days if we want. And we don't have to work more than normal.

    //Yes, in the United States.

  • (cs)

    I bet Angie is quite the chAch@momba

  • Tim (unregistered)

    Do the children have off from school today? I gotta dig though my inbox to find some goodies I have buried there

  • (cs)

    At my company, I get 3 personal days, 3 weeks of vacation, and the work week is 37.5 hours. Work any more than that, and I must charge overtime, and it's time and a half after 40 hours. Company policy.

    They want us to work 7.5 hours per day (the normal work day). Overtime is for special circumstances, like really bad problems during crunch time. Any failure to meet schedule is blamed on inaccurate scheduling, not because we didn't put in enough extra hours to pull it off.

    I love my company.

  • Magnus Bergmark (unregistered)

    A friend of mine opened his inbox one day in school (he was about 13 years old at the time) and saw the following (that's all of it, yes):

    Drunk parents rape their children: www.URLREMOVED.net
    He could not stop laughing and send it to me and some other people. Was a pretty long time ago now...

    I remember the URL, but I don't want to googlebomb that stuff or make TDWTF "related" to them. :-P

  • (cs)

    Similar to the infamous "Dear Rich Bastard" legend, a trainee SQL Server DBA managed to set up an Agent notification message that sent "SQL Server on (servername) is fucked again" to all users instead of IT-DBAs group. The intention was to change the text to the likes of "Please be aware that the (server) is currently down, IT are aware and working on it" when the distribution was widened to everyone, but forgot to do so.

    Senior management were less than impressed, fortunately for him it wasn't the sort of company to sack folk over such indiscretions.

  • Ben (unregistered)

    Email from hosting company on Feb 22nd.

    "Dear Customer,

    For security reasons, customers that need to FTP must have their IP address white listed. Any one not white listed as of Friday Feb 22ND, 6PM, will be suspended until Monday.

    We are currently working on deploying a facility in the control panel to allow our customers to white list their own IP address for FTP services. We expect to deploy this new facility this coming week. A notification will be sent as soon as this is available.

    If you need to FTP before this facility is implemented, please call our technical support line on Monday, February 25, between the hours of 9AM(EST) and 6PM(EST) to have your IP address added to our white list.

    We thank you for your patience as we work as quickly as possible to secure FTP and restore services to normal."

    And on the control panel of the hosting company as of tuesday March 4th

    " SECURITY NOTICE

    As of Tuesday March 4th 2008, if your web site has been infected with a virus, please note we are investigating, and will have the virus removed shortly.

    As soon as we have more information we will be sending out a notice. The only information we can currently make you aware of is the infection did not take place through FTP services.

    Please wait until we send our next notice before contacting us so we can resolve this issue as quickly as possible. We thank you for your patience."

    Suffice to say their white list app is a piece of junk.

  • i_am_socket (unregistered)

    Weirdest email I got was just a couple weeks ago.

    FW: blackberry

    "?

    original message:___________ spellcheck on wifi?"

    That was the whole thing. Apparently I was supposed to be able to interpret that as

    "This came from the VP, do you know anything about it?

    original message:___________ I read that RIM is releasing new software that enables spellcheck on their Blackberry handhelds as well as wifi connectivity. Have you heard when it will be available and if we can use it on our current devices?"

    Good thing we had those "Email etiquette" training sessions.

  • (cs)

    I call shenanigans on the first e-mail; there's no way a truther has a real job!

  • notJoeKing (unregistered)

    Is it just me or does "Best of the Email" seem 'off' grammatically?

  • (cs) in reply to Magnus Bergmark
    Magnus Bergmark:
    A friend of mine opened his inbox one day in school (he was about 13 years old at the time) and saw the following (that's all of it, yes):
    Drunk parents rape their children: www.URLREMOVED.net
    He could not stop laughing and send it to me and some other people. Was a pretty long time ago now...

    I remember the URL, but I don't want to googlebomb that stuff or make TDWTF "related" to them. :-P

    Yes, given what we already know, I'd rather not be related to them either...

  • (cs) in reply to notJoeKing
    notJoeKing:
    Is it just me or does "Best of the Email" seem 'off' grammatically?

    No worse than "Best of the Internets" :)

  • (cs)

    An old timer friend of mine told the story once of an email he got about new security badges (and I think it's one of those urban legend type things that has been retold everywhere, but here's my best recollecting of it anyhow):

    "As of Tuseday June 2nd, doors will be locked with new security badges. There will be no access to the building without these badges.

    Badges will be distributed on Thursday June 4th in the 3rd floor conference room."

    And to ensure that there is a little bit of truthiness behind the story, while typing it I remembered that the last company I worked for did almost the same thing. When they got bought out they swapped our badges out for ones with the new company's logo on them. At least they cancelled the access via all doors but one. As a usual back-door-enterer however, I was a bit confused when I showed up that day.

  • (cs)

    I once received a spam email which read:

    "Now you too can have perfect skin! Free sample."

    shudder

  • Alan (unregistered)

    My old company tried to stiff us in sickness days a while ago.

    Thier deal was, if you did not use any sickdays in 6 months, you got an extra day holiday.

    So, if you wake up ill one day, you faced a choice. You could drag your butt into the office, feel crappy all day and infect all your coworkers on the off chance that, if you do not develop a more serious illness soon, you get an extra day off in a few months. Or you could just spend a day in bed, right there, right then.

    Of course the main beneficiary of the policy was the woman who proposed it, one of those "I never call in sick - why should you" type of managers.

  • (cs)

    My biggest WTF email must be the one that arrive a full three months late. No, it wasn't backdated. I looked at the Received: headers and it actually did spend 3 months in hiatus on some email server.

  • rockwalker (unregistered)

    This message only applies to U.S. team members who will be working during the time change. Daylight-Saving Time Begins Sunday, March 9, 2008

    It's time to spring forward on Sunday, March 9, as Daylight-Saving Time officially begins at 2 a.m. If you'll be working during the time change, you will technically work an hour less than you normally would, but you don't have to worry about losing an hour on your paycheck. You will be paid as though you worked your complete, normal shift. The table below shows how to enter your time sheet if you are hourly and you normally work an 11.5 hour shift.

    Attendance Type: Regular Night

    Hours Worked: 11.5

    In this scenario, you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    If you have any questions about the time change policy, you may contact your direct supervisor or you may also send an e-mail to Payroll.

  • b0b g0ats3 (unregistered)

    uNNNGH 23RD!!!@#$#$@*twentythree#@!$232323!!

  • (cs)

    If corporations are legally persons, then those persons must be considered legally retarded.

  • A. Nonymous (unregistered)

    Not really a bizarre email in the sense of the articles, but classic non the less (The person who sent this is commenting about our helpless desk. One person in particular, but it applies to all of them:

    If I have to hear [Help desk Peon] say "uh, I'm not sure what I have to do..." one more time, I'm gonna hit him in the neck.

    Ugh

  • (cs) in reply to rockwalker
    rockwalker:
    you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    I can imagine nothing more horrendous than working the 11.5 hour shift that overlaps 3AM. What kind of terrible place do you work in?

  • accident (unregistered) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    At my company, I get 3 personal days, 3 weeks of vacation, and the work week is 37.5 hours. Work any more than that, and I *must* charge overtime, and it's time and a half after 40 hours. Company policy.

    They want us to work 7.5 hours per day (the normal work day). Overtime is for special circumstances, like really bad problems during crunch time. Any failure to meet schedule is blamed on inaccurate scheduling, not because we didn't put in enough extra hours to pull it off.

    I love my company.

    Mine is fairly similar. 3 Weeks of vacation, can work from home whenever I want. Work week is 35 hours (1 hour lunch everyday + breaks whenever we want). I am on salary so no OT. But I rarely have to work overtime, and I have never had to work on a weekend. Very few hard deadlines (we have a couple for some projects, but most are wide open.. as long as reasonable)

    The only downside is my pay isn't the greatest. I could probably be making almost 10k year per more at another job. But I figure I save a grand a year on gas/maintenence from days I work from home, plus have a ton of extra free time since I only take 20 min lunch so leave 40 min early. I really love my job.

  • (cs) in reply to rockwalker
    rockwalker:
    In this scenario, you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    So what happens in the fall? Do they only pay them for 11.5 hours when the poor guys work 12.5 hours?

  • Ryan (unregistered)

    That last one sounds like a former company of mine.

    They once said "we'll be instituting a 10% time benefit similiar to Google - where you work on your own company related project. To be able to offer this benefit though, we will be changing the workday from 9-5 to 8:30-5:30"

    So, as a "benefit" we got to stay longer and do 2 projects, for the same pay.

    Of course, this same company also required 9 hours of work at your desk - which didn't include any time you spent eating lunch or going to the bathroom.

  • (cs) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    At my company, I get 3 personal days, 3 weeks of vacation, and the work week is 37.5 hours. Work any more than that, and I *must* charge overtime, and it's time and a half after 40 hours. Company policy.

    They want us to work 7.5 hours per day (the normal work day). Overtime is for special circumstances, like really bad problems during crunch time. Any failure to meet schedule is blamed on inaccurate scheduling, not because we didn't put in enough extra hours to pull it off.

    I love my company.

    Can my boyfriend please, please work there?! Seriously - that is very cool. I have known too many workaholics (mother, sister, boyfriend to name a few) whose companies are only too willing to milk them dry. Although my boyfriend's boss has just talked to him about working 'into the night' - read "until 3 or 4am". He's not meant to do it anymore, at least not regularly...
  • GF (unregistered) in reply to Alan
    Alan:
    My old company tried to stiff us in sickness days a while ago.
    Eew.
  • Biffa (unregistered) in reply to Mel

    You guys should really try Europe. I work in London at a well known internet company...

    5 weeks vacation and working from home / personal days as much as you like providing you get the work done.

    And we do much worse than mainland Europe - come on over, the water's lovely

    Biff

  • AnonymousCoward (unregistered) in reply to accident
    accident:
    I really love my job.

    That's probably worth 10k right there.

  • Troy McClure (unregistered) in reply to Crazybone
    Crazybone:
    5 personal days?

    We get 26. And we can buy more days if we want. And we don't have to work more than normal.

    //Yes, in the United States.

    Yea but is 26 personal days really just another fancy word for vacation? If you get 26 personal days + 3 weeks vacation, then you have something to brag about and I retract the bottom of this post. If its just 26 days off no matter how you choose to take it, thats nothing special.

    If you do the math, 3 weeks vacation + 5 personal days = 26 days. Exactly what you are getting.

  • Wickerman (unregistered)

    My boss is too chicken to talk to us in person, so he sends mass emails.

    "I need you all to take a collective look at how you are using your time off. I cannot run this place without you."

    Two hours later he sent:

    "I will not be here Friday. See me before 4:00 PM on Thursday if you have anything."

  • (cs) in reply to SuperousOxide
    SuperousOxide:
    rockwalker:
    In this scenario, you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    So what happens in the fall? Do they only pay them for 11.5 hours when the poor guys work 12.5 hours?

    It all works out in the wash...

  • Rand (unregistered) in reply to Troy McClure

    [quote user="Troy McClure"][quote user="Crazybone"] If you do the math, 3 weeks vacation + 5 personal days = 26 days. Exactly what you are getting.[/quote]

    Not sure if you are in the US or not, but I've never seen a US company that defines a "week of vacation" as 7 days. A week of vacation is 5 days, so that would be 20 days of time off.

  • (cs) in reply to webhamster
    webhamster:
    SuperousOxide:
    rockwalker:
    In this scenario, you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    So what happens in the fall? Do they only pay them for 11.5 hours when the poor guys work 12.5 hours?

    It all works out in the wash...

    Last fall, I had to go into work to fix the machines that couldn't handle the new $@$%$# DST schedule. It was the building guard's first day and he had started his shift at midnight. They were screwing him out of an hour of pay on his first day.

  • masonReloaded (unregistered) in reply to Wickerman
    Wickerman:
    My boss is too chicken to talk to us in person, so he sends mass emails.

    "I need you all to take a collective look at how you are using your time off. I cannot run this place without you."

    Two hours later he sent:

    "I will not be here Friday. See me before 4:00 PM on Thursday if you have anything."

    Brilliant. I have had a similar thing in my previous non-IT job: "Well, yes, your hours are 9-5 and we can't make you do unpaid overtime...but if you want to get ahead...etc"

  • (cs) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    I love my company.
    Where are you, Mars?
  • notJoeKing (unregistered) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    notJoeKing:
    Is it just me or does "Best of the Email" seem 'off' grammatically?

    No worse than "Best of the Internets" :)

    Not true. Even "Best of the Emails" would have sounded better than "Best of the Email"

  • (cs) in reply to Biffa
    Biffa:
    5 weeks vacation and working from home / personal days as much as you like providing you get the work done.

    And we do much worse than mainland Europe

    True. 6 weeks is normal in Germany, while working 35-40 hours per week.
  • Alan (unregistered) in reply to gabba

    James W has learned what you get when you hire off the BoingBoing comment threads.

  • TopicSlayer (unregistered) in reply to webhamster
    webhamster:
    SuperousOxide:
    rockwalker:
    In this scenario, you may enter 11.5 hours, even though you will only work 10.5 hours.

    So what happens in the fall? Do they only pay them for 11.5 hours when the poor guys work 12.5 hours?

    It all works out in the wash...

    However, I doubt they send a mass mailing notifying their employees when they are being underpaid in the fall -- hypocrites!

  • (cs) in reply to Wickerman
    Wickerman:
    My boss is too chicken to talk to us in person, so he sends mass emails.

    "I need you all to take a collective look at how you are using your time off. I cannot run this place without you."

    Two hours later he sent:

    "I will not be here Friday. See me before 4:00 PM on Thursday if you have anything."

    Winner!

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    An old timer friend of mine told the story once of an email he got about new security badges (and I think it's one of those urban legend type things that has been retold everywhere, but here's my best recollecting of it anyhow):

    "As of Tuseday June 2nd, doors will be locked with new security badges. There will be no access to the building without these badges.

    Badges will be distributed on Thursday June 4th in the 3rd floor conference room."

    And to ensure that there is a little bit of truthiness behind the story, while typing it I remembered that the last company I worked for did almost the same thing. When they got bought out they swapped our badges out for ones with the new company's logo on them. At least they cancelled the access via all doors but one. As a usual back-door-enterer however, I was a bit confused when I showed up that day.

    MS has done similar stupid things from time to time. I figure it's just one of those things that happens

  • (cs) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    At my company, I get 3 personal days, 3 weeks of vacation, and the work week is 37.5 hours. Work any more than that, and I *must* charge overtime, and it's time and a half after 40 hours. Company policy.

    They want us to work 7.5 hours per day (the normal work day). Overtime is for special circumstances, like really bad problems during crunch time. Any failure to meet schedule is blamed on inaccurate scheduling, not because we didn't put in enough extra hours to pull it off.

    I love my company.

    I like your company, too... but I like mine just a little more...

    Started with 4 weeks vacation 14 Stat holidays (in Canada, there are officially 9) 4 days personal leave 1.5 days sick time accumulated per month 7 hour work day (yes, we get paid lunch) 7% of earnings towards pension 1.5x hourly rate for more than 8hrs; 2x hourly rate for anything over 10; 1.5x for working at any time on a Saturday; 2x for working any time on a Sunday

    And to top it all off, I'm a Manager and I qualify for O/T.

    /Unions rule

  • Anonymous Cowardly Lion (unregistered) in reply to notJoeKing
    notJoeKing:
    WhiskeyJack:
    notJoeKing:
    Is it just me or does "Best of the Email" seem 'off' grammatically?

    No worse than "Best of the Internets" :)

    Not true. Even "Best of the Emails" would have sounded better than "Best of the Email"

    The plural of Email is, Email, so there it is definitely more correct than 'Best of the Emails.' It seems odd to me to place an article before 'Email' however. Since we are not talking about a particular Email or set of Email, it is grammatically unnecessary though not necessarily incorrect. I probably would have just gone with "The Very Best of Email," as seems to have a better ring and places the emphasis on 'Best' as opposed to 'Email.' It is, after all, the 'Best' that we are concerned about, not just the 'Email' in general.

  • (cs) in reply to Troy McClure
    Troy McClure:
    Crazybone:
    5 personal days?

    We get 26. And we can buy more days if we want. And we don't have to work more than normal.

    //Yes, in the United States.

    Yea but is 26 personal days really just another fancy word for vacation? If you get 26 personal days + 3 weeks vacation, then you have something to brag about and I retract the bottom of this post. If its just 26 days off no matter how you choose to take it, thats nothing special.

    If you do the math, 3 weeks vacation + 5 personal days = 26 days. Exactly what you are getting.

    Not really, vacation is earned and in most states has to be paid out if you leave or are let go. Personal time, on the other hand, is freely given, so if you quit or otherwise no longer work for them, most states do not require it to be paid out.

    In this case, having the vacation time is worth far more than the personal days just in case you change jobs.

  • Troy McClure (unregistered) in reply to Rand

    [quote user="Rand"][quote user="Troy McClure"][quote user="Crazybone"] If you do the math, 3 weeks vacation + 5 personal days = 26 days. Exactly what you are getting.[/quote]

    Not sure if you are in the US or not, but I've never seen a US company that defines a "week of vacation" as 7 days. A week of vacation is 5 days, so that would be 20 days of time off.[/quote]

    Yea you're right. Oops! More like 4 weeks of vacation.

  • the way (unregistered) in reply to Ryan
    Ryan:
    Of course, this same company also required 9 hours of work at your desk - which didn't include any time you spent eating lunch or going to the bathroom.

    Countrywide, perhaps?

  • PublicLurker (unregistered) in reply to Wickerman

    I had a couple of married bosses like this. They came into the office one day, went into their rooms and sent out an email stating that they were moving the company to another city. With a total of 5 employees, you think they could have found a room.

  • (cs) in reply to Pecos Bill
    Pecos Bill:
    WhiskeyJack:
    I love my company.
    Where are you, Mars?

    Defense contractor.

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