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Admin
Here is my favorite:
Admin
Well, he's a boss. Of course the place can run fine without him. And if he's a really good boss, it runs even better when he's gone!
Admin
One of the more bizarre emails I have been cc'ed:
Hello [MySQL support tech],
I may not be able to answer all of your Questions, but I will try my best. I own [website].com, and I administer the system which runs on an Xserve, but I know relatively little about MySql & PHP.
I have an excellent Local Unix/Linux Consultant that I work with occasionally, when he is available. Unfortunately the changes Apple has made to the Unix system in Mac OSX Server software, create some difficulty for us, in that certain Directories are not where he expects them to be, Apples NetInfo Database Layer apparently also complicates things, and some other issues related to the differences in OS X Server. I am going to Carbon Copy him on this correspondence, and see if he might have a little time available to help me answer your questions, should my answers be wrong or incomplete.
I know there was something he tried once to put a couple of characters into all of the PHP files, I think to make sure that Database connections where closed when a Query was finished (?), but I am not sure of exactly what this change was, that we tried. We did a search and replace in the hundreds of PHP files, but when we completed this the Home Page would no longer Load, and we ended up having to do a restore. I will ask him if he can E-mail me the details of what it was that we had tried.
I am not 100% sure of this but, I think the problem may start out as a 1064 Error, and then after a few more hours, may further deteriorate to the ""could not connect" problem, and then sometimes even further deteriorate to where I just get a Blue Background Page (sometimes with just the [website].com Logo in the upper left hand corner), and sometimes to the point where all I get is a blank White Page. Sometimes, in what I think is the early stage of the problem beginning, most but not all of the page loads, but the Browser Status Bar at the bottom of the page indicates something like "Loading "http://www.[website].com/" completed 23 of 24 items" , but the page never completes loading and just stalls.
I have no idea if this is an SQL Query (possibly in the page or pages that deal with creating the Home Page?), contained in one of the Nearly 450 PHP files that the Programmers I used in India created for the site.
Some of those who I have spoken with have mentioned that it might be a problem with the combination of the particular Version and/or Install of MySQL and PHP, on a Mac Server.
If it would be of any help, I can send you all of these hundreds of php files, but I don't think you are going to want to go through all of that, unless you have some kind of tool that can automatically look at the files and validate the code.
Are there any Log or error files that would be of help if I were to send them to you. If you give me the names of any that you would like, I can do this.
It went on in this manner for quite awhile... I'll spare you the rest. But then it ended with:
P.S. Over the past few months, it seems to me that pages are taking longer to download then they used to take. I do not know if this is related to this problem or possible to one of the Apple Software Updates, or something else.
Also, If you would like to see a wonderful Web Photo Gallery my Programmers in Kiev are developing for me that uses MySQL to build completely User Customizable Web Photo Galleries, you can take a look at my personal Gallery: http://www.[website].com/[website owner]
Admin
A few weeks ago, everyone was talking about the huge blizzard that was supposed to be coming the next day. HR sent an email out title "Snow Day". I got excited that I would have the next day off.. except the email said "Make sure you leave early tomorrow morning so you can make it to work safely and on time."
Admin
Thats diabolical!
Admin
In comparison:
I get: 10 days of vacation per year 5 sick days per year no paid OT
Admin
Some people just deserve it!
Admin
One of the funniest emails I've received at work is this:
From: John Doe (to protect the innocent) Sent: Date, Time (so this can't be narrowed down) To: IT Support Team Cc: Helpdesk Subject: Jack Off
Jack left a voice message saying that he will not be in the office today.
Admin
You had me until this part.
I call shenanigans ;)
Admin
Admin
Actually, I think here in Ontario, Canada that's not just a company policy but actually legislated for certain types of jobs - i.e. employer only has to pay overtime if pass 44 (hrs) in a week, and then you only get paid for the time on top of the 44.
Admin
I'd suggest the plural of email is either 'email' or 'emails' depending on whether one wanted to emphasize its collective or individual nature; thus 'quantity of email' versus 'number of emails' . . .
Admin
9-11 was an inside job. You should really watch that video. ;)
Admin
hoochie mamma. Sounds like sexual harassment panda needs to come give them a session.
Admin
And me:
44.4 h / week :45 lunch 8-5.30p 16 days leave 11 sick days no paid OT
The only good part is the ~9% income tax and 13 monthly salaries per year and the 2.5 months bonus per year. (Singapore)
Admin
Mine sounds a lot closer to yours than some of the others posted in this thread.
I get:
It may not be particularly cushy, but I like my job.
Admin
28 days leave 7 sickies public holidays 35 hour week (excluding lunch) paid OT
I like it.
Most recent funny email was a highly paid "security consultant" who lambasted us for not having the US DST patch installed on our servers. Errrrr - we're not in the US...
Admin
OK pop quiz hot shot - what do you do when you get a call at 4:30 PM Friday (like I did yesterday) saying that one of the partner systems is down, and you have to stay as late as necessary to resolve the issue. What then?
Admin
Hmm, that sounds pretty familiar. You wouldn't happen to work at a major insurance provider in central michigan do you? Maybe mentioning thedailywtf in 90% of my conversations is having an impact.
Admin
What's so "bizarre" about that entire exchange? I don't see anything other than some PHP/MySQL cluelessness. ????
Admin
Being in the same boat, I'd say that I wouldn't be ordered to stay to fix it. Heck, most at my comp wouldn't even get the call because they leave at 4:25, stop picking up phone at 4:20 and stop working to socialize at 4:00. If someone heard that a system is down that close to the end of the day, they'd simply note what time it is implying that after that it waits till Monday.
Admin
Do it and take the extra time in the form of a day off the next week.
Admin
OK, purely a typo (qwerty proximity), and infantile humour, but:
subject: <person> <person> won't be in today, as he is feeling dick
Admin
I got exactly the same conditions :) ... wonder if we are not working for the same company
Admin
Not long after starting my first job I head my predecessor (who was the IT department) have this conversation with our ISP.
IT: hi i was told my connection should be active today but I havn't been advised of my pasword yet.
ISP: We emailed it to you last night.
IT: how am i supposed to access my emaisl without the password?
ISP: Oh?
No this is not a urban legend. I may not have gotten the exact words but it really happened. A few months later she left and I became the IT department by extension I was expected to be able to resolve problems with pretty much anything that used electricity in the office.
Admin
Admin
oh my... they found me...
Admin
From a consulting gig a few years back, the following came into our office and prompted a scramble as to who would ge tto answer it:
"Dear [redacted]:
I can't send email. Please fix ASAP.
Thank you, [redacted]"
Admin
OUCH! They broke me!
Admin
A long time ago, all the top guys, including me (network, software, hardware) got the following email from the CEO:
"Any change ... network, software or hardware must be submitted to me for approval. This submission must include a definition of the problem...recommended solution...implications....other alternatives. I will approve the changes in writing."
We solve the problem by following the rule to the letter. First it was twenty page reports on things like changing passwords and installing security updates. But that still didn't work.
So I decided to follow the rule on a network troubleshooting process. I wrote a paper for each change that had to be made. When he asked me why I didn't write one paper for the whole process, I explained that there was no way I could know at the beginning what I would need to do.
The rule quickly disappeared.
Admin
Admin
This is almost exactly what happened to me when I moved house a few months ago. I asked my ISP to transfer my ADSL, and when it hadn't gone live after a week I rang them up. Their first question? "Didn't you get the email we sent you on Monday?" - Erm, I'm ringing you because I don't have an internet connection yet, so... guess? Not everyone has time to sit in cafes with free wireless, and not everyone can read email from work (especially if they're a self employed tech / web developer with NO FREAKING INTERNET CONNECTION!!) Needless to say, that ISP will not be having my business next time I move...
Admin
For most people this won't make a difference, as we're used to getting '4 weeks plus stats' ('stats' = 'statutory holidays' = 'bank holidays') as a minimum, which comes to 28 days, but some people were being stiffed by the previous ambiguous rule which said '20 days' (which was intended to mean 20 days plus bank holidays, but some employers decided to interpret as 20 days including bank holidays).
Note that your employer has no requirement to give you bank holidays off, and if your employer DOES close down on bank holidays, but you don't happen to work that day (eg if you are part-time and work Tuesdays-Fridays) they have to give you extra days to make up for the fact you didn't have the bank holiday off.
Admin
On a new client admin and processing system we've been building for the last 6 months, a lot of funny and not so funny test names have been used but as this is a test system, that fine right? Some of the login names were down right dodgy but that just gave those of us who used them to login a little chuckle every time.
Then seperately a load of anonymised client data was loaded in for testing, however someone had forgotten to anonymize the email addresses. So when a couple of test clients set up new products and emails were sent out to actual clients advising them that they had opened products they'd never asked for, one client in particular didn't see the funny side of receiving an email from our favourate customer services user, a certain Ms Tess Tickle.
Admin
Admin
Admin
Hehe - thanks for the hint, I've considered that several times and rejected it, trust me! He really, really is just a workaholic...
Admin
Unless you don't care about the US DST mess, which may be reasonable.
Admin
The funny thing is, even for a Junior Office Admin(think 'glorified secretary') working here, the starting wage is $22/hr with most of the same benefits that I get (they get less vacation) and goes up from there. So I have to say again, Unions pretty much rule.
Admin
Hmm, in the UK it is fairly standard in the IT / Software Engineering field to get at least 25 days holiday + 8 days Statutory Holidays off a year, so 33 days. Add on a couple of sickies from the 20 or so that you'll still be paid for, and you've got 7 weeks holiday.
On the other hand, not so hot on the overtime here, so make sure you work your hours (usually 9 - 5 with a sum total of an hour off in-between for lunch, breaks, etc). Not that I begrudge working a bit more, to make up for any web surfing I do whilst I'm ruminating on a problem.
I don't know how you guys on 3 weeks holiday total, including sick time, holiday, national holidays, etc, put up with it!
Admin
It is a bit odd that professionals in the states only get a pittance of annual leave.
I get 33 basic holiday days, plus bank holidays.
Have no allotted hours, just projects have to be done in the well judged timescales.
Can have as many sick days as I want as my company trusts me and hey if I get the work done so what!
Can have 10 days extra paid holiday for special purposes such as moving home.
I guess though in the UK things are booming in some areas of the IT market, if they treat me bad I will just leave for another company, possibly paying more with the same benefits.
Still its getting to the point that I just can't take the leave as staying at home with the kids is not always a holiday! Need to earn serious cash to take 2 months of proper foreign vacation!
Admin
The company where I work, any vacation or personal time that isn't used in the year we earn it is lost. We don't get paid anything for unused time, and can't even carry it over to the following year. And while I personally don't put in that much overtime, there are a lot of people who do, either by choice or because when problems come up, (unpaid) overtime can be mandatory.
Admin
In Holland: One time the sim-card of my mobile phone broke down and I called the TelCo to request a new one. Ofcourse this was a very expensive 0900-number, and after waiting for more than 45 minutes I was told to go to their website, create an account there and post my request at the support page. Part of the proces of registering on the website was sending an SMS with a code that had to be entered...
Admin
Hmmmmmmmm.... I don't see any TOU or posting guidelines indicating that I shouldn't use the proper word (or two-word phrase, if you prefer) for what Cindy clearly is.
Yet a minor moral dilemma arises because I don't see anyone in the commenting community using this oh-so-called-for type of language.
I guess I won't degrade the quality of said community by using unsaid language and simply let it suffice to say: yes, she surely is [one of those]!
-Grateful to be self-employed
Admin
A few years back, this message (now translated into English) was sent to all employees. This was back when flat rate internet was not an option here:
From: <head of it> To: <all> Subject: Internet usage
Our new high speed internet line is quite expensive and it is meant for work use only. As you can see from the following top 50 list, some of you seems to have forgotten that:
There was then a list with a few serious, work-related sites – and 40-something port sites.
He made his point. And upped the porn traffic significantly …
Admin
Received an email from IT department after they rolled out a new vmx and email client for a small company in Middle TN.
"We have been experiencing problems with the email side of our XYZ implementation. Please let us know if you do NOT receive this email.... "
Now that, my friends was a WTF..
... their VP thought Green Belt certification on my resume was related to Karate as a hobby... and questioned "but what does Six Sigma actually mean" - I Had to GO.
Admin
You'd think that. It seems quite logical.
My group's mostly in the US, although we have a few servers in other countries. Our software deals with just about every timezone.
We didn't think we needed to bother with that patch, because of how our systems are set up, and how they work with other timezones. As such, we didn't patch them.
After DST took affect, per the new schedule, our group received no DST-related trouble tickets. Most other groups in the company did. If a group had installed the patch, they received tickets from confused users who had not installed it. If a group had not installed the patch, they received tickets from users who had installed it. And, both sorts of groups had trouble tickets due to issues interoperating with other systems that had not taken the same patch activity. We were one of the two islands in the storm. (The other, of course, was Network - unseen, unfelt, pervading everything.)
We did have to install it afterwards, however, due to management dictate; they didn't understand how we managed to do it.
It was quite simple, however.
All of our systems run on GMT. We do this so that the times reported in the system log are consistent. This makes it easier to correlate events between regions.
We have JavaScript on our pages to do the actual local time calculations. If they have JavaScript enabled, the times we state agree with their computer clocks (except, of course, for however much their computer clock has drifted from NTP time.) If they do not have JavaScript enabled, the times we state are all marked 'GMT - enable JavaScript to convert to local time'.
As such, the only users who might have complained were the few who were consciously aware that they didn't have the patch installed on their own machine, yet expected us to have it on ours. Out of over 100,000 people, this population size was one. And our manager doesn't put in trouble tickets to get us to work...
Admin
On the subject of 9/11. It's a matter of forensic evidence. Either nano-thermite explosive residue was found or it was not.
So who is the weird one? Someone who knows the answer to the question or someone who does not?
The (3) buildings were reduced to powder due to controlled demolitions at free-fall speed. Deal with it.
Admin
The man who was on c-span today He said he hated partnership in the two main partys. And said Indp. Turned on Democrats because of stimulus and spending.you seem to think you are a smart man. Let's take the stimulus one third taxes one third for fixing roads and bridges .one the went to the states that most economist believe was necessary.. And partnership I think that a joke you are partens for Indp. So it's only natural if you joint a party you must believe what it stand for sometime people get off track but if you believe inthat party you don't run to a other party you work to make your party in to what it stand for. Indp. Ran off and jointed another party and then want to come back and try to make in there party. Put up your own people and vote for them and stop trying to be impose your party on our . Either join one or the other or just stay out of our two party let us fight it out put up your own people and let the best man win. And all the things you said you hated the tea party are doing in this election. But you all are voting for them even when you know some of them are not fit for any office. Please what kind of integerity is that. How do you except anyone to take Indp. As a serious party. Now they are a spoiler for one of the major party. Put up your own people if you think you are a party. Look at the people who have won you had a governor who was so far out people made fun of him. Now he says President Obama did the right thing in trying to get this country on track. Chaffy is backing Obama so whatdoes this say the rest who are goig to bot for far right wing. You work for a man who run for president that everyone rejected.and that don't saying about you. You say one thing but do another. So don't tell me you know what good for this country. President Obama was hand a plate full and is solving our proplems. History tells us job comes last and he is putting more people back to work all the Time job growth each month. In two year president more jobs than Bush did in 8 years. And has plan on how to get more jobs. The republicans has no plans but Indp. Want to vote them. To me that don'take sense. I am a old woman I remember the the WPA camp is that what Indp. Want. It's not pretty. When you vote for these far right wing and they turn this country back 50 year what are you goig to tell old people like me who has fought all my life equality for all people you who vote for them are playing with fire mark my word. . You Indp. will be at fault . Every party does not all they set out to do. The health care I work my behind off to get this bill passed it not a perfect bill no major ever is The same things was said about Medicare and thru the year it was made better no one liked it when it was passed. They can make this bill much better so many people are dying because of no health care. They Changes will cross state line and the more people get in them the cheaper there policies. And people who have cancer and other element and can't get insurance now will be able to get it. How anyone would want to repell it is crazy to me. I read the bill people should read it it offer so much I am on Medicate but I care about people. We can't afford to repell this bill . You have to be Satan to think other wise.
Admin
A colleague of a colleague always - and I mean ALWAYS - puts his name in the subject. Never mind that you can tell from the email (which is not hidden, or a donotreply kind) who's emailing. Never mind what the actual message within the email is. The subject is ALWAYS his name.
Try searching for an email relevant to a specific topic covered in the body .....