The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

abbas:
My Name:
I also have to agree that I don't see the huge WTF here.
This company had to generate applications on a wide variety of mobile platforms, not only BlackBerries. Each platform probably had its own SDK to use.

So the solution was to separate the UI design in a common meta format. I don't see the WTF in this.

Is it the fact that it was stored in CSV instead of XML? I don't see the problem here. And Excel (or "Calc" for that matter) is perfect for editing CSV files.

The wtf being IMHO, that aiming for the smallest common denominator gets you something very bad. IE, the only thing pretty much all animals have in common is that they generate poo. Thus, the uberallencompassing animal would be a pile of poo. ;) I know it is halting badly, but that is generally what you get when you try to make something like that. Better to develop an API and implement it for each platform so you can just move the same code around in that case. Something like, I dunno... J2ME for phones? ;)

Your definitely correct here. The best way to re-use code is to put in a Library of sorts. Provide all the basic menial boilerplate code. Then allow whoever is using the library to extend this code to suite their purpose. And example of a library that does this VERY well is YUI. This will also allow the library to grow on its' own because as people extend features, they will find more than can go into the library (just like open source). This works out well because as we all know, good code almost writes itself.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

'"M-Magic?" asked Adam.'

Oh no! K-K-Ken is coming to k-k-kill me!

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Grump ol' Coder:
Yeah, Excel is a pretty bad choice for an editing tool, but it's not the worst.

EMACS certainly isn't the worst.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Maurits:
does it matter?:
And the violin has an high 'E' and missing a low 'C' for strings.
And that C string is invaluable for scoring the scene where the baby dies.
Personally, I'm partial to G strings. Particularly with air on them.

You're all missing the chance for some perfectly cromulent viola jokes; for example:

Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

As for documenting simple logic, be it M, V, or C (but only one at a time, please -- at least on a single sheet) in an Excel spreadsheet, it's difficult to imagine why anybody would consider this to be a WTF. Been there, done that. Got the carefully constructed spreadsheets atomised by the outsourced developers so that all traces of shared logic were lost.

Of course, creating a CSV export in VB6, and then continuing to use VB6 ... well, that is, indeed, a WTF. As always.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

I'm an avid user of Excel for quick fixups. It may not be my choice for long-term usage though.

CAPTCHA: saepius

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Murdog:
My Name:
I also have to agree that I don't see the huge WTF here.
Your definitely correct here. The best way to re-use code is to put in a Library of sorts. Provide all the basic menial boilerplate code. Then allow whoever is using the library to extend this code to suite their purpose. And example of a library that does this VERY well is YUI. This will also allow the library to grow on its' own because as people extend features, they will find more than can go into the library (just like open source). This works out well because as we all know, good code almost writes itself.

Your joking, innit?

It's difficult to know how much of this is tongue-in-cheek, how much is freetard trolling, and how much is plain unabashed idiocy.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Hmmmm, what I wondered since a long time... but never read about on DailyWTF:

What's the copyright status of the code that's presented here? Sometimes, there are quite large code samples.

Are the firms too shy to sue Alex, knowing they will be publicly ridiculed in front of the court for producing hilarious code?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

St Mary's Hospital for the File-Sharers:
Hmmmm, what I wondered since a long time... but never read about on DailyWTF:
What's the copyright status of the code that's presented here? Sometimes, there are quite large code samples.

Are the firms too shy to sue Alex, knowing they will be publicly ridiculed in front of the court for producing hilarious code?

We're glad you asked us that.

For legal purposes, our standard answer is "It's a fungus, really. We just mis-spoke. Anyway, it's all for the Public Good."

This is usually sufficiently confusing for the courts to acquit. When it fails, we refer the judge to our brethren at the Hospital of St Mary of Bethlehem, where many of the poor souls responsible for the fungoid code in question currently reside.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
You're all missing the chance for some perfectly cromulent viola jokes; for example:
Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

Actually, we're not.

As for jokes, was my wordplay on Bach's "Air on the G String" lost on you?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Level 2:
There exists a development system called uniPaaS that generates business applications from meta-data.
Name of the company that build uniPaaS? Magic.

Coincidence?

Further coincidence: uniPaaS is an anagram for "Anus API."

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

C does not have strings, just char arrays :)

mbessey · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

lolwtf:
I wonder, has anyone ever used a spreadsheet in software development in a non-WTFy way?

As others have mentioned "Spreadsheet as a database" is a very common idiom, and it's not NECESSARILY a WTF. Yeah, a custom client-server or web app for managing your test data, localized strings, error messages, or specifications might be "better", but if you have a tight deadline, maybe that time would be better spent working on code that someone's going to pay for.

Given that you can read/write XML, CSV, and (some) HTML documents with reasonable fidelity using Excel, it's a good way to get folks involved in the data editing process that you wouldn't necessarily trust to edit configuration files "by hand". Any monkey can duplicate, edit, and delete rows in an Excel spreadsheet without having to learn how to match up tags.

When you find yourself considering writing VBA macros to improve the data entry process, then it's probably time to retire the spreadsheet interface for something a little more engineered. Hopefully, that's just after the 1.0 version ships...

Another time-saver I've used is: "What's that, Mr. Project Manager? You say you need a custom report for that data? Here's a raw data dump with headers that imports directly into Excel. Knock yourself out. Once you figure out the "best" way to present the data, we'll create a canned report for it."

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Bim Job:
You're all missing the chance for some perfectly cromulent viola jokes; for example:
Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
Actually, we're not.

As for jokes, was my wordplay on Bach's "Air on the G String" lost on you?

Lost... lost... yes, an interesting word. BVW 1068 is a good enough joke on its own without transposing "Air" and "G String."

Wasted... yup, that's the word you're straining for. My bad. I wasn't wasted enough.

But, in the spirit of your joke:

Q:: Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? A:: Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Anonymously Yours:
Level 2:
There exists a development system called uniPaaS that generates business applications from meta-data.
Name of the company that build uniPaaS? Magic.

Coincidence?
Further coincidence: uniPaaS is an anagram for "Anus API."

Forty seven years, and I've been waiting for one of those. Where do I sign up? Do I get a discount for frequent usage?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

The Regents of the Leper Hospital in Haarlem:
St Mary's Hospital for the File-Sharers:
Hmmmm, what I wondered since a long time... but never read about on DailyWTF:
What's the copyright status of the code that's presented here? Sometimes, there are quite large code samples.

Are the firms too shy to sue Alex, knowing they will be publicly ridiculed in front of the court for producing hilarious code?
We're glad you asked us that.

For legal purposes, our standard answer is "It's a fungus, really. We just mis-spoke. Anyway, it's all for the Public Good."

This is usually sufficiently confusing for the courts to acquit. When it fails, we refer the judge to our brethren at the Hospital of St Mary of Bethlehem, where many of the poor souls responsible for the fungoid code in question currently reside.

Thank you for your competent and entirely un-legalese answer. Now I'll have to go back for my daily fumigation.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
Wasted... yup, that's the word you're straining for. My bad. I wasn't wasted enough.

Surely that's easily fixed.

Bim Job:
But, in the spirit of your joke:
Q:: Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? A:: Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.

Hmm... double colons... you sure you aren't wasted enough? Nevertheless:

Q: What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist? A: The seamstress tucks up the frills.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

nonny nonny:
lolwtf:
I wonder, has anyone ever used a spreadsheet in software development in a non-WTFy way?

We use them to aid developers in defining enumerations.

For example, in a very large real-time system (500,000 lines of code) there are hundreds of possible error codes the system can generate. The same code is used in different products, each with a slightly different configuration. So product A might be able to generate ERROR_WIDGET_NOT_INITIALIZED but product B doesn't use widgets so this error isn't reported.

Spreadsheets list the error codes, whether they're supported in a given product, and all the data and strings associated with it (e.g. error 313, WIDGET_NOT_INITIALIZED, "Widget Not Initialized", "Please make sure the widget carrier is powered on").

The spreadsheet is saved as XML and at compile-time a Python script parses the XML and spits out the appropriate header files for C++ inclusion.

Thanks for providing a fantastic example of spreadsheet abuse.

They invented this thing called a data-base oh some few decades ago, and it is really awesome at storing... wait for it... data. Plus your scripts can run queries directly against a selected subset of the rows! No need to do a massive save-as and hope nobody else was editing another copy and blew away your company's entire product line.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Bim Job:
Wasted... yup, that's the word you're straining for. My bad. I wasn't wasted enough.
Surely that's easily fixed.
Bim Job:
But, in the spirit of your joke:
Q:: Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? A:: Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.
Hmm... double colons... you sure you aren't wasted enough? Nevertheless:

Q: What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist? A: The seamstress tucks up the frills.

Excellent! But, c'mon, nobody on this site is verbally dexterous enough to get that one. Christ, over 50% of them still think that VB and Access are a marriage made in heaven.

Double colons -- my attempt to act like a violist writing BBCode. Actually, I have no idea how it happened. It's probably infectious.

Two more for ya, and now, with subtracted single colons: Q: What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

Or, my absolute favourite (and extremely obscure) viola joke:

Q: What is the longest viola joke? A: Harold in Italy.

I'm obviously wasted enough. I can't even remember what the hell started us all off on violas (not that it takes much). Nurse! The screens!

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Downfall:
I'm also not seeing the problem. It's a non-conventional platform, but it may well be the best way to handle coding for the Blackberry. I've never done it-- have any of you? For all we know, this truly is the best solution to a difficult environment. Without knowing how or why this was implemented, we have no idea if Carl was the WTF-er, or the WTF-ee doing the best he could in a bad environment.
I've coded for mobile devices (including BB) and I can assure you that this is not "the best solution to a difficult environment". It is a retarded solution for a platform that is extremely easy to code for.

Funny, I haven't seen a Blackberry (or more importantly, a Blackberry firmware version) that doesn't repeatedly crash on time scales ranging from minutes to days. I end up telling people who want to get in touch with me to do so by other means because my Blackberry will probably be waiting for me to reset it when they call.

I used to have my laptop notify me when Bluetooth pings of the Blackberry failed, but I stopped doing that because:

being notified that my phone had crashed ten times more frequently than I actually received calls on it was just too distracting. Also, if my Blackberry crashes during the night, I don't need my laptop to wake me up to tell me this so I can reboot the Blackberry so that the alarm application will wake me up in the morning. Heck, I might as well run the alarm application on the laptop, since the laptop will actually be running in the morning. Repeat for any important application running on the Blackberry, and...wait, what's the Blackberry for, again?
the conspicuous absence of incoming phone calls, emails, SMS, IM messages, etc. was sufficient notification of a crash anyway, and
repeatedly pinging a Blackberry via Bluetooth makes it crash even more often.

Blackberry must be so easy to code for that they can only get morons to do it.

(Wow, that's a completely off-topic rant about a different piece of software, or at least a different level of the software stack. Anywhere else, I'd look clueless for posting it. Good thing nobody will notice me here!)

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

(registered):
Thanks for providing a fantastic example of spreadsheet abuse.
They invented this thing called a data-base oh some few decades ago, and it is really awesome at storing... wait for it... data. Plus your scripts can run queries directly against a selected subset of the rows! No need to do a massive save-as and hope nobody else was editing another copy and blew away your company's entire product line.

To clarify, it's one spreadsheet per product, and it's as much in version control as all the rest of the source files.

You call it abuse and say a database is a better solution. Perhaps you're right. We say that the spreadsheet is intuitive enough for its purpose, is easy to work with and requires no additional overhead, cost, installation of software, or training.

This isn't a black or white, right or wrong situation. Now if we needed to scale this to something much bigger and more complex (like the original story) then yeah, we'd look at migrating it all to a proper DB.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

(registered):
Thanks for providing a fantastic example of spreadsheet abuse.
They invented this thing called a data-base oh some few decades ago, and it is really awesome at storing... wait for it... data. Plus your scripts can run queries directly against a selected subset of the rows! No need to do a massive save-as and hope nobody else was editing another copy and blew away your company's entire product line.

I see your point. It's obviously much better to store source code data as a big chunky of binary goo that can't be easily edited or diffed in a version control system. Storing it in a format which can be edited either as a table (using Excel/Calc/gnumeric/etc.) or, in a pinch, any text editor is...

Oh, wait. I don't see your point at all.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
I'm obviously wasted enough. I can't even remember what the hell started us all off on violas

Somebody said "WahLah", which I believe is a city in Washington.

PS: damn, that one really is obscure. I'll have to work on it.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

TWTF is that arguably the point of the excel file in the first place is to avoid having to redefine your UI each time. But in the world of mobile that just isn't possible. For example, users interact with an iPhone very differently than how they interact with BlackBerry's. Plus the UI looked primitive anyway so really using the excel file sounds like a step backwards.

Eclipse and Visual Studio at least generate actual code, something you could have written yourself. The solution presented in the story produced an intermediate file that was parsed at run time to control the look and flow of the UI.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

I know I should shut up. I know it. I'm sorry.

Having done a minimal amount of research on Hector Berlioz, I've discovered that the precursor to "Harold in Italy" was meant to be "Les Derniers Instans de Marie Stuart." This is what you get when you match a monstrous egomaniac (Paganini) with an out-matched French pseudo-intellectual. Or, to quote Paganini:

"I am silent too long. I must be playing all the time."

Strangely enough, this has a distinct resonance with the "guru" in the OP.

There's also a Monty Python version, if anybody wants to check it out.

I have achieved viola satori. I'll get me kimono.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

gramie:
WahLah
Is it possible that you are not being ironic as you write "voilà"?

It is fun to laugh when people spell words like they sound having no idea it's from another language. I remember watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and having to stifle a YELP when one of the two combatants would say "On Guard". ('say' meaning 'the text read')

Just in case anyone is confused, it should be "en guarde", and it might need some accents or other markings. I am just way too lazy for those.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

ih8u:
Just in case anyone is confused, it should be "en guarde", and it might need some accents or other markings. I am just way too lazy for those.

All your guarde are belong to us.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Zygo:
Good thing nobody will notice me here!)

You are a beloved customer of RIMCom, and we value your input. As, indeed, we value your output. Between the input and the output lies ... the shadow.

We fail your peen.

At any rate ($1.50 per ninety seconds), we are working hard to make your Blackberry Experience a Better One. Or at least, a fruitier one. Possibly without so much capitalisation.

Our original thought was to solve all technical problems via the Magic of Excel. As the OP demonstrates, this is perhaps not the best solution.

Our next thought was to Improve The Stack. We sincerely apologise that, in your case, this approach appears to have been sub-optimal. Be aware that if you phone our customer support service on this issue, your waiting time may be twelve and a half years ... although, through our policy of Continuous Improvement, it may be as little as a nanosecond. Once we've got that pinging thing right.

Our final thought is Improvement Through Randomisation. You've heard that one about monkeys, typewriters, and Hamlet?

Well, we've engaged a top team of engineers from De Vry's and equally qualified institutions, and we've realised that we don't need monkeys.

Morons have much bigger brains. Mostly filled with pus and bile, but quantitatively, they're much bigger.

We therefore scrapped the "monkey project" compiler and replaced it with the "moron project" compiler. As you know, Blackberries are very important to the Financial Sector. We pride ourselves in being ahead of the market: monkeys are associated with the 1960s and the space race, whereas morons are pervasive in the banking world of the 1990s and 2000s.

I think, if you look at the last two years, you will find that we have made the correct marketing decision.

Otherwise, fuck you.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Protagonist:
TWTF is that arguably the point of the excel file in the first place is to avoid having to redefine your UI each time. But in the world of mobile that just isn't possible. For example, users interact with an iPhone very differently than how they interact with BlackBerry's. Plus the UI looked primitive anyway so really using the excel file sounds like a step backwards.
Eclipse and Visual Studio at least generate actual code, something you could have written yourself. The solution presented in the story produced an intermediate file that was parsed at run time to control the look and flow of the UI.

I, for one, find it highly annoying that the Opera Mini web browser respects neither the UI conventions of other Blackberry applications (ummm, wait, other Blackberry Curve applications, since those behave differently from older Blackberries due to the keyboard...OK, let's try that again).

I, for one, find it highly annoying that the Opera Mini web browser respects neither the UI conventions of other Blackberry applications nor Unix 'vi' key bindings. It's barely usable, although I grudgingly admit that it's still better than the browser the Blackberry ships with. Well, OK, maybe "better" is too strong a word...how about "different"?

My problem with mobile apps isn't just that constrained user interfaces suck...it's that the user interfaces of modern mobile apps tend to be much worse than the interfaces of devices that are 15 years old and have inferior hardware specs. It's like we're collectively unlearning all the human-factors stuff we used to know in the 90's.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Chelloveck:
(registered):
Thanks for providing a fantastic example of spreadsheet abuse.
They invented this thing called a data-base oh some few decades ago, and it is really awesome at storing... wait for it... data. Plus your scripts can run queries directly against a selected subset of the rows! No need to do a massive save-as and hope nobody else was editing another copy and blew away your company's entire product line.

I see your point. It's obviously much better to store source code data as a big chunky of binary goo that can't be easily edited or diffed in a version control system. Storing it in a format which can be edited either as a table (using Excel/Calc/gnumeric/etc.) or, in a pinch, any text editor is...

Oh, wait. I don't see your point at all.

If "a big chunky of binary goo" doesn't describe a spreadsheet, I don't know what does. So how do those spreadsheet diffs look, anyway?

Database tables can be automatically dumped to flat text files, and diffed with or without version control. And that's if you can't use the database's own history and change tracking mechanisms. Plus databases have these things like table, row and column locks, and atomic updates... how's that working out for you in spreadsheet land?

Use the receptionist's toy software if you must. Just not for anything that matters.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

(registered):
If "a big chunky of binary goo" doesn't describe a spreadsheet, I don't know what does. So how do those spreadsheet diffs look, anyway?

I'm not an expert on this, and I don't know much about spreadsheet formats, and I assume we're leaving macros out for the sake of argument, but, well, I think a spreadsheet-diff, when used on two spreadsheets of a format understood by the diff in question, might actually work.

Or, failing that, you could just export the spreadsheets to CSV. Worked for me, on a comparison of three million voter entries for electronic polling.

Sometimes, the receptionist is less of an asshole than you are. Generally, she's cuter. Also, she tends not to make unsubstantiated value judgements such as "it's a big chunk of binary goo."

You'd be surprised about these lowly folk. Sometimes they're happy with an excel spreadsheet; sometimes they'll beg you for a more sophisticated system involving a database.

Mostly, they don't sling opinionated crap around. If it works for them, it works for them.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

it reminds me of msi files...

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Solomon:
Sometimes, the receptionist is less of an asshole than you are. Generally, she's cuter. Also, she tends not to make unsubstantiated value judgements such as "it's a big chunk of binary goo."

Are those first two quoted statements of yours unsubstantiated value judgements?

rekoil · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

So basically, Excel gets used as a plist editor. Talk about swatting flies with a bazooka.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Solomon:
Sometimes, the receptionist is less of an asshole than you are. Generally, she's cuter.

So, when you're designing a code repository and revision control system for your company's Blackberry user interface product, you go with whatever will please the cute receptionist?

Does your boss know about this?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Solomon:
Sometimes, the receptionist is less of an asshole than you are. Generally, she's cuter. Also, she tends not to make unsubstantiated value judgements such as "it's a big chunk of binary goo."
Are those first two quoted statements of yours unsubstantiated value judgements?

Just a guess, but you're probably referring to "unquoted" statements; qualified by what, in grammatical terms, are called "qualifiers." Often used for the purpose of ridicule, as here.

The quoted statement was what, generally speaking, would be considered a "quote." To save you the time spent in looking it up, a "quote" refers to a phrase used earlier by somebody else, and encased in quotation marks for the purpose of emphasising that fact.

But we're all friends here on TDWTF(non-viola section). One more joke for you:

Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche?

Erste Lage, Notlage, und Niederlage.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Solomon:
Just a guess, but you're probably referring to "unquoted" statements; qualified by what, in grammatical terms, are called "qualifiers." Often used for the purpose of ridicule, as here.
The quoted statement was what, generally speaking, would be considered a "quote." To save you the time spent in looking it up, a "quote" refers to a phrase used earlier by somebody else, and encased in quotation marks for the purpose of emphasising that fact.

No, I meant quoted statements. I responded to your post by clicking the "Quote" button. I then edited out all but three of your statements. Finally, I referred to the first two of those three quoted statements in my question.

Actually, I could have asked, "Are all three of those quoted statements 'unsubstantiated value judgements'?" But that might have been overly complicating matters.

Incidentally, if you're British, I guess it's okay, but otherwise, while we're going all pedantic, the correct spelling is "judgments".

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
while we're going all pedantic

Well this is thedailypedant.com.

Isn't it?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

(registered):
If "a big chunky of binary goo" doesn't describe a spreadsheet, I don't know what does. So how do those spreadsheet diffs look, anyway?

Recent versions of Office save files natively in XML. They diff just fine, thank you.

OK, so Mr. Bigwig Project Manager needs to update Appendix C: Error Codes in our customer document. "Here, sir, I'll email you the Excel file, and you copy/paste the columns you need into the table in your Word document." (or "Run this macro and the table will be generated for you".) As opposed to, "Here, sir, let me call IT to install the database client software on your computer, and set you up with an account, and do you know how to do queries with this tool, sir? And when you've queried the stuff you want, it'll dump it to you in a CSV file, click Save, and I'll show you how to import that file into...." What, again? Oh, right! Excel!

OK, so I set up a database, now I need to set up a field editor that will show me all of the error codes in one dimension as well as the data related to each error code in another dimension. I think I'll set up the database to show the data to me as... a two dimensional table grid...

For simple tasks, even the "correct" solution may be overkill.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

by (unregistered):
PKM:
Hey, at least it's not "viola!". Every time I see that it's like fingernails running down the blackboard in my brain.
viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola! viola!

Talk about a way to declare oneself an asshole! Can we get his IP?

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Bim Job:
You're all missing the chance for some perfectly cromulent viola jokes; for example:
Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
Actually, we're not.

Yes, we are. Maybe next time you won't fuck up the quotes.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Actually, I could have asked, "Are all three of those quoted statements 'unsubstantiated value judgements'?" But that might have been overly complicating matters.
Incidentally, if you're British, I guess it's okay, but otherwise, while we're going all pedantic, the correct spelling is "judgments".

Chill out, Texas Boy.

That's one of those words that just doesn't make sense as spelled in American English, isn't it? No Great Vowel Shift there; just general ignorance.

I can cope with "color" for "colour" and the like, because that's just sensible orthography. I can even cope with "analyze" for "analyse," because that's plain ordinary ignorance of etymology, and plain ordinary ignorance of etymology is what the development of language is all about.

But ... "Judgments?" You serious about this? Doesn't it look just a tiny bit ugly to you?

Ya wanna quote -- ya quote. It's quite possible that the site software would help you. Otherwise, how are the rest of us unwashed multitudes to understand what you mean by "your first two quotes"?

I mean, that could be anything. Maybe from days ago. Maybe from a completely different blog. Who's to know? Try footnotes next time.

Meanwhile:

"All Eric Coates ever wanted to do was to write music to entertain. But for a while he was a professional viola player."

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

TRWTF™ is the abuse of Arther C. Clarke's third law.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

nonny nonny:
You call it abuse and say a database is a better solution. Perhaps you're right. We say that the spreadsheet is intuitive enough for its purpose, is easy to work with and requires no additional overhead, cost, installation of software, or training.
This isn't a black or white, right or wrong situation. Now if we needed to scale this to something much bigger and more complex (like the original story) then yeah, we'd look at migrating it all to a proper DB.

Let's just compromise, and agree that you should use Excel as a front-end to your Access database. Okay? Great! Problem solved.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

mine:
Code Dependent:
Bim Job:
You're all missing the chance for some perfectly cromulent viola jokes; for example:
Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
Actually, we're not.
Yes, we are. Maybe next time you won't fuck up the quotes.

Reading problem? Hint: check the poster. I didn't post it; I just read it, which is how I knew that someone had already posted your joke. Always a good idea to read the posts before you start patting yourself on the back for being frist.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

nonny nonny:
OK, so Mr. Bigwig Project Manager needs to update Appendix C: Error Codes in our customer document. "Here, sir, I'll email you the Excel file, and you copy/paste the columns you need into the table in your Word document."

Awesome! I needed 35 lines of text, and you emailed me a 2.7MB spreadsheet. Hope you copied everyone on the project team, you know, just because. And I've always hated those error codes, so I'm just going to redo some of them. I'll email the spreadsheet (well actually a copy of it) back to everyone on the development team and ask them to just pop this in the VCR or whateverthehellitis you do.

Oh, wait, did I send back the spreadsheet you sent me yesterday, or did I dig out my 7 month old copy from some history folder? Oh yeah I remember now, I saved it to a memory stick. I think it was this one. Or this one. Oh, crap. Well let me just google search my hard disk and pick one of the 17 copies at random. Don't worry, if you're worried about losing anything in this massive hodgepodge clusterfuck multiplied by each employee multiplied by each spreadsheed multiplied by each "reply to all" -- well you can always do a diff and get a metric crapton of XML. That should help.

Code Dependent · 2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Solomon:
That's one of those words that just doesn't make sense as spelled in American English, isn't it?

Yes, it is. I didn't say it's pretty. I said it's correct. I don't make those rules about what's correct, either; I just memorized them in school, and later in general usage discovered that my teachers and textbooks had told the truth. But I figured if you were going to show your ass ("arse" for you UK types) while being wrong about "quote" in a failed attempt to shift the topic away from your verbal hypocrisy, I'd help you along.

Solomon:
I can cope with "color" for "colour" and the like, because that's just sensible orthography. I can even cope with "analyze" for "analyse," because that's plain ordinary ignorance of etymology, and plain ordinary ignorance of etymology is what the development of language is all about.

How are you on "short-lived" pronounced with a short i? Drives me crazy, even when Geddy does it on "Natural Science". The word means, "possessed of a short life", and therefore should have a long i, as in "life".

...But I digress.

Solomon:
It's quite possible that the site software would help you.

Beyond using the quote button to surround your text with <quote></quote> tags as I did, I'm not sure what the site software could do.

Solomon:
Otherwise, how are the rest of us unwashed multitudes to understand what you mean by "your first two quotes"?

Perhaps easing off on the crack would help.

Incidentally...

Solomon:
Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche? Erste Lage, Notlage, und Niederlage.

...nice. It clearly loses something in translation; as does "Veni, vidi, vici".

On the other hand, "Vidi, vici, veni" gains quite handily.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

worst I've seen :

Using Word as a database in such a way where the word file is saved as HTML, and the html parsed with java. Word stores gobs of data for each cell. It made XML look emaciated! About 30k of data was stored in the 14 Meg HTML file.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

Enough people have explained that the WTF is not code generation from a spreadsheet. So what is the WTF? Two things.

Carl thinking this common practice is a magic power he discovered.

And the real WTF is that he held up the entire team while creating the view. With a little documentation they could have been coding the whole time.

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

[quote user="Alacrity"] Rubbish. A viola is a perfectly respectable musical instrument, and a string quartet would look quite odd without one.[/quote]

Actually a String Quartet would be fine without it.. You see a Viola and a Violin are actually the exact same size, it's just that a violinist head is bigger.[/quote]

a violinist's head is bigger

2009-08-11 Reply Admin

PKM:
Hey, at least it's not "viola!". Every time I see that it's like fingernails running down the blackboard in my brain.

the blackboard in my brain ???

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