• PleegWat (unregistered)

    Hm, last I checked, windows had a task scheduler?

    Oh, and fist.

  • p (unregistered)

    The link is broken...

  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to PleegWat
    PleegWat:
    Hm, last I checked, windows had a task scheduler?
    And what would you propose to schedule here, which wouldn't violate "corporate security"?
    There was no way around the "every fifteen minute" rule: corporate security would not budge on the "idle" session timeout, let alone allow any "mouse moving" programs.
  • Carra (unregistered)

    Well, my first idea was to just write an AutoIt script that moves the mouse every 15 mins.

    Heck, that's not as fun as their solution though.

    Also makes clear why Ryan ain't the manager!

  • (cs)

    This reminds me of the recent reboot bot story.

  • Carra (unregistered)

    Now that I think of it, binding a mobile to it and send a message to it every 15 mins (scripted of course) might do the trick too!

  • cronopio (unregistered)

    This story reminds me of Desmond, the poor guy in "Lost", who has to enter a code into a computer every 108 minutes to stop the world from ending. Or so he thinks.

  • (cs) in reply to Ken B
    Ken B:
    PleegWat:
    Hm, last I checked, windows had a task scheduler?
    And what would you propose to schedule here, which wouldn't violate "corporate security"?
    There was no way around the "every fifteen minute" rule: corporate security would not budge on the "idle" session timeout, let alone allow any "mouse moving" programs.
    This is irrelevant, as it doesn't involve a remote session. As long as corporate policy doesn't say you can't use the "at" command, he wouldn't even have to kick off the job anymore.
  • nobody (unregistered)

    This sounds just like my job!

    No, I'm not kidding.

  • Trawn (unregistered)

    In school back in the day of the dot.coms when they paid you to surf the web... a dorm mate of mine hooked up a desk top oscilatting fan and a specially bent paperclip to the mouse wire.

    ...for $25 a month till the company went belly up...not bad.

  • A Gould (unregistered)

    I'm curious what happened next?

    a) Manager shows IT the levels of stupidity involved to work around the idle requirement, and they fixed it.

    b) Manager gets disciplined for circumventing security.

  • Rube G. (unregistered)

    Guess a USB mouse jiggler would be "unapproved hardware"

    http://www.engadget.com/2007/04/16/wiebetechs-mouse-jiggler-usb-stick-prevents-sleep/

  • (cs)

    Just a common condition: Corporate policy is as illogical as anywhere and IT managers are as primitive as anywhere!

  • siep (unregistered)

    the real wtf is he'd step away for a meeting. if there's no work what kind of meeting would he have to attend?

  • (cs) in reply to siep
    siep:
    the real wtf is he'd step away for a meeting. if there's no work what kind of meeting would he have to attend?

    A meeting to discuss how management is still having meetings to determine what needs to be done, and thus why there's still no work for him to do.

  • I'm not giving my name to a machine! (unregistered)

    Taking putting something on the keyboard to hold down a key to the next level.

  • (cs)

    Someone needs to wind the Fisher Price Rocker every day. Sounds like a "Peter Principle" Promotion!!!!

  • Arc (unregistered)

    Just curious, why does a rocking chair need to vibrate?

  • ScottK (unregistered) in reply to Arc
    Arc:
    Just curious, why does a rocking chair need to vibrate?

    Gentle vibrations can help a baby fall asleep. At the very least it calms them down -- kind of like the grown-up version of a vibrating massage chair pad.

  • (cs) in reply to siep
    siep:
    the real wtf is he'd step away for a meeting. if there's no work what kind of meeting would he have to attend?

    It doesn't matter. Once the management hierarchy of a company gets more than one layer deep, meetings happen.

  • (cs)

    I used to do stuff like that...

    I had to repetedly press a button for something to happen, i didn't feel like writing a program so i got a paperclip and jammed my key. it worked wonders.

  • FP (unregistered)

    So mouse moving programs weren't allowed but Fisher Price Vibrating Rocking Chair was?

  • (cs) in reply to FP
    FP:
    So mouse moving programs weren't allowed but Fisher Price Vibrating Rocking Chair was?

    Yeah, because the program has a potential security leak. There's no way that malicious software could be piggybacked onto the FP-VRC and get into the production equipment.

    Would YOU want to trust the new guy to download and install a new program designed to cheat AllAdvantage?

  • El_oscuro (unregistered) in reply to PleegWat

    It does, but is useless in this environment (we have the same stupid terminal service rules in our work environment). I had a backup job which ran for several hours, and the task scheduler (Server 2003) would pop up a DOS window with the title SVCHOST.EXE that would appear in terminal services if I logged in while the backup was running. When I hit the inactive timeout, the job being run by the task scheduler would also be killed.

    To work around this I wrote a cron scheduler which used the NT resource kit SRVANY utility and was a truly a background task, so terminal services wouldn't interfere with it.

  • (cs)

    The whole "I know there's nothing to do, but just look busy, OK" thing is chillingly familiar. Calls to mind the worst job I ever did...

    It was an idle period for the team I was on, a few months in between projects when there was nothing doing. We had a great big database of payment details, and one day a manager walks in with a gazillion page report printed from it. And asks us to check the figures in the report against the original tables.

    The scariest thing was that he genuinely believed there could have been differences. And no amount of reasoning/ranting could get him to think otherwise.

  • Logan (unregistered)

    Is anyone else reminded of homer simpson with the bobbing bird hitting the 'y'(yes) key maybe that would have worked too

  • David (unregistered)

    My day job also includes running a big database build on a remote Windows server daily, (though mine takes 5 hours not 7).

    It's scheduled overnight from the task scheduler, and usually finished long before I get up in the morning. It mails me if it has any problems - or an OK message if it doesn't. So I don't even need to check the logs unless there was a problem - or if I don't get ANY message.

    It does help that I have Admin access on the server, but I recall doing much the same with an ordinary account and AT when I first started running it.

    Had to do all this because Fisher Price isn't on our approved supplier list, so I wouldn't be allowed to install a Fisher Price rocker :-)

  • xXx (unregistered)

    I loved the line in reference to the vibrating chair:

    "Once again manpower was replaced by a battery operated, vibrating, machine!"

  • Craig (unregistered) in reply to xXx

    Best WTF EVER.

    Truly a classic.

  • (cs) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    Yeah, because the program has a potential security leak. There's no way that malicious software could be piggybacked onto the FP-VRC and get into the production equipment.

    Would YOU want to trust the new guy to download and install a new program designed to cheat AllAdvantage?

    Leaving a console open is a pretty big security hole, all by itself, if nobody is watching the thing. There's a reason there is an idle session limit. Getting around it in any way is as much a wtf as any other way, though this is definitely a more creative one.

  • mudkipz (unregistered) in reply to Opie
    Opie:
    themagni:
    Yeah, because the program has a potential security leak. There's no way that malicious software could be piggybacked onto the FP-VRC and get into the production equipment.

    Would YOU want to trust the new guy to download and install a new program designed to cheat AllAdvantage?

    Leaving a console open is a pretty big security hole, all by itself, if nobody is watching the thing. There's a reason there is an idle session limit. Getting around it in any way is as much a wtf as any other way, though this is definitely a more creative one.

    Yes, but The Real WTF (tm) is that IT wasn't flexible enough to work with them, and was actively getting in the way of their job. The session shouldn't have been running at all -- this should have been run in the background as a service. Of course, as per the article, IT would have balked at that idea.

    Least access and other such security protocols are always a good idea, but you need to trust your employees at least enough to let them get their jobs done.

  • Fuji (unregistered) in reply to siep
    siep:
    the real wtf is he'd step away for a meeting. if there's no work what kind of meeting would he have to attend?

    "Going to a meeting". It's a euphemism. He's "going to a meeting" usually with a newspaper under his arm.

  • FP (unregistered) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    FP:
    So mouse moving programs weren't allowed but Fisher Price Vibrating Rocking Chair was?

    Yeah, because the program has a potential security leak. There's no way that malicious software could be piggybacked onto the FP-VRC and get into the production equipment.

    Would YOU want to trust the new guy to download and install a new program designed to cheat AllAdvantage?

    I'd prefer him to develop a new program into the company just to move the mouse. Seriously, which malicious code could be in when you have its half-dozen lines of source code in front of you?

  • (cs) in reply to xXx
    xXx:
    I loved the line in reference to the vibrating chair:

    "Once again manpower was replaced by a battery operated, vibrating, machine!"

    Thank you, I was going to forward that in mysef. That comment had me laughing for a couple hours...

  • Kasper (unregistered) in reply to Carra

    Might do the trick until the day where the SMS gets delayed

  • Ken (unregistered)

    "The best way to kill a man is to pay him for not working.” —Félix Leclerc, French-Canadian singer-songwriter.

  • (cs) in reply to Ken
    Ken:
    "The best way to kill a man is to pay him for not working.” —Félix Leclerc, French-Canadian singer-songwriter.

    That quote seems a bit ironic, coming from a singer.

  • Metal Lord (unregistered)

    Wasn't this the 2006 award winner for "World's Kludgiest Kludge"?

  • Anon (unregistered)

    I don't understand why they didn't just TS into the console, start the job and then disconnect.

    mstsc /console

    exists for a reason!

  • (cs)

    The java.awt.Robot class can be used to jiggle the mouse.. I just spent 30 minutes jiggling my mouse with it :)

  • Hognoxious (unregistered) in reply to siep
    siep:
    the real wtf is he'd step away for a meeting. if there's no work what kind of meeting would he have to attend?
    I dunno - one where they're trying to find some work, drum some up, prospecting...?
  • Mike (unregistered)

    We used a watch with a second hand placed under an optical mouse to overcome the corporate IT timeout.

  • Andy Wong (unregistered)

    Responding to an internal Email asking how to converting a Word document to PDF, a guy titled senior IT consultant gave such answer: Print the Word document to paper (after walking around 20 meters, I worked in a fairly large company); (walk around 50 meters to) go to the scanner and scan the document, a program on the workstation connecting to the scanner can convert the OCR result into PDF; Copy the PDF file to a public directory; Get back to your own PC and grab the PDF file.

    I did not quite understand when I first read the post by the senior consultant, as I knew there were many PDF printer programs around many of which are free.

    However, even if you are not aware that there exist Word2PDF programs around, you as IT guy should realize that any bit conversion outside bit stream is crime. For example, converting digital Word to digital PDF using analog methods (printing to paper, and then scan) is crime. You should search for digital resource to find out whether someone had invented the wheel.

  • hail our robot masters (unregistered)

    FP-VRC and ITAPPMONROBOT: a match made in heaven!

  • Dupe Catcher (unregistered)

    This is a dupe.

  • HatchetFace (unregistered) in reply to Opie
    Opie:
    Ken:
    "The best way to kill a man is to pay him for not working.” —Félix Leclerc, French-Canadian singer-songwriter.

    That quote seems a bit ironic, coming from a singer.

    I would hazzard that the singer-songwriter works as hard, if not harder than most software developers. I say this as both a programmer, and a musician/recording artist.

  • (cs) in reply to Dupe Catcher
    Dupe Catcher:
    This is a dupe.
    What gave it away? The "Classic WTF" prefix in the title or the first sentence of the article? I hope you asked Santa for reading comprehension ability.
  • El_oscuro (unregistered) in reply to mudkipz

    I have seen so many of these programs which should be run as background tasks that are implemented as a GUI (especially in Windows), thus preventing them from running as a background task.

  • Antonum (unregistered)

    Mouse-mounted-vibrator will be much

    • cheap
    • compact
    • funful ;)

    But bring sexual harassment too ;(

  • n (unregistered)

    This is absolutely hilarious! Great site, just discovered it! I cant stop laughing :)

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