• Dyspeptic Curmudgeon (unregistered) in reply to hoodaticus

    I bet it was d-ejected sitting all by its lonesome.

  • Decius (unregistered) in reply to stibbons
    stibbons:
    frits:
    Ken B.:
    You'd think he was part cat the way his leg appeared to grow before your eyes.
    Is this a typical feature of cats?

    Cats are genetically optimised to cause the most distress to their servants. So, in this case, yes.

    FTFY

  • (cs)

    Classic WTF is still classic.

  • wha? (unregistered) in reply to eVil
    eVil:
    Genuinely classic stuff this one.

    Any chance we could have anonymous posting disabled? Not having to read that terrible childish shite would definately be worth the price of logging in.

    Also, we might return this site to something like it was 5 years ago.

    Oh the irony....

  • juio (unregistered) in reply to dörte
    dörte:
    I did not notice it the first time I read that story, but how did the drive get back in? I think its not possible in software, at least on windows with no additional software? oO
    Perhaps the impact with the button was sufficient to trigger the drive to retract...
  • Bluey (unregistered)

    What a great story, a true Barnes-Wallis moment. Any solution involving phone books, sticky tape, blu-tack and safety scissors deserves an award.

  • (cs) in reply to Ken B.
    Ken B.:
    Skywings:
    Pentium100:
    Why use a CD drive to open/close to press the reset button? Why not a relay that would short out the button, the relay would be controlled from the parallel port of the monitoring PC? In that case you could move the machines if needed and no alignment would be necessary.
    From the story,
    I mean, I don't know anything about circuitry, or how to build robots.
    While the concept of using a relay isn't hard I suspect this guy is a software guy and wouldn't know a resistor even you stab one in his eye. It would probably have been beyond his skills to wire one up. Unless you're talking about a industrial solid state relay of sorts. In that case its much easier and is a simple case of connect the wires.
    Well, I'm not an engineer, but my design would be self-contained in the server. (No monitor system required.) This does presume the ability to install software and attach a piece of software off a spare port, however.

    Since the crash requires a hard boot, I am going to assume the entire system has crashed, and not just the "critical" program.

    Have the program send a signal every few seconds out the appropriate port (parallel, serial, whatever), where a small circuit board is "listening". The circuit board is in "failsafe" mode, and the signal resets the circuit. If it doesn't get that signal after some time, it trips a solenoid, cutting power to the computer entirely. And, in doing so, releases the solenoid, reapplying power to the computer, booting it up again.

    I'm sure there are a few kinks to work out (such as waiting several seconds before reapplying power), but I leave that up to the engineers.

    Or, use the same thing, but rather than a solenoid to cut power, pulse the reset line.

    A few resistors and some 555's, and you're all set to go. :-)

    I can't entirely tell if this is a troll or not...

  • Julia Gillard (unregistered) in reply to Don L
    Don L:
    TRWTF is budget freezes and middle level managers abiding by them.

    Thank God, my current manager fight alongside me all the way when I recommend something.

    I work for the government, and budget freezes only apply for work. We always have money to print propaganda, policy and motivational stuff or refurbish offices. Tough economic clients simply mean we need to reduce productivity in our core business areas.
  • Cheong (unregistered) in reply to frits 
                 mciSendString("set cdaudio door open", null, 0, new IntPtr(0));
              mciSendString("set cdaudio door closed", null, 0, new IntPtr(0));

    I think I can confirm this will work... One of my classmates received a jokeware back in the Win95 days that makes his CDROM tray eject and retract repeatatively.

  • Cheong (unregistered) in reply to Julia Gillard
    Julia Gillard:
    I work for the government, and budget freezes only apply for work. We always have money to print propaganda, policy and motivational stuff or refurbish offices. Tough economic clients simply mean we need to reduce productivity in our core business areas.
    That brings the old question from Dilbert's comic: Did you ever seen Accounting department cut budgets for accounting department?
  • (cs)

    A "bit" behind. Ho ho! I see what you did there.

  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to Andrew
    Andrew:
    OK, here's mine...

    #!/bin/bash

    SERVER=192.168.1.23 DEVICE=/dev/cdrom1

    while true; do STATUS=$(ping -c 1 $SERVER | grep "Unreachable" | gawk '{print $6}') if [ $STATUS = "Unreachable" ]; then eject $DEVICE eject -t $DEVICE fi sleep 2m STATUS="" done

    exit 0

    Why do I have the feeling that the "exit 0" isn't necessary?

  • germaniac (unregistered)

    Thas a sad story, kind of the Terminus Story by Stanislav Lem

  • stu (unregistered) in reply to Robert
    Robert:
    Well, as linux CAN close the CD drive (eject -t) logically even windblows should be able to... and a quick google shows quite a few windows apps that claim that ability. just my $0.02, Robert
    It's a budget freeze.

    Just my $0.00.

  • CodeCaster (unregistered)

    The part I don't get is that, since it's apparently a very old server, the bootup of the system seems to take less than two minutes.

    Wouldn't it have ended up in a reboot loop? I have seen average "old servers" see not respond to pings for much more than two minutes...

  • (cs) in reply to Fred
    Fred:
    Andrew:
    OK, here's mine...

    #!/bin/bash

    SERVER=192.168.1.23 DEVICE=/dev/cdrom1

    while true; do STATUS=$(ping -c 1 $SERVER | grep "Unreachable" | gawk '{print $6}') if [ $STATUS = "Unreachable" ]; then eject $DEVICE eject -t $DEVICE fi sleep 2m STATUS="" done

    exit 0

    Why do I have the feeling that the "exit 0" isn't necessary?

    This is in the event that this code is ported to a different universe. What? It could happen...

  • Anonymouse (unregistered)

    Wonderful story :)

    Captcha: ingenium - a really contracted version of " a genius I am"

  • (cs) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    JamesCurran:
    I'm not sure I'm buying it. I've used dozens of CDROM drives over the years, and none have come shooting out with enough force to press a button on a CPU (which are usually recessed to prevent accidental pressing)

    "Shooting out"? You don't need speed to press a reset button.

    As to the amount of force, I don't suppose there's a lot of power behind the motor in a CD tray. But then, it doesn't take a lot of force to push a reset button.

    If only there was some way to relate force to "speed" (or something)...
  • ***** (unregistered)

    UFB...a recycled article with more time spent on moderation than ever before.

    Can we work a little harder on the content and not so much on the meta-content?

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Ken B.:
    You'd think he was part cat the way his leg appeared to grow before your eyes.
    Is this a typical feature of cats?

    The ability to appear to grow before your eyes is.

  • BooBoo Kitty (unregistered) in reply to Brazilian Monkey

    I know it's less fun, but they sell telephone controlled power switches already. You can usually find a vendor for one in the bakc of most PC trade magazines.

    CAPTCHA -- conventio - how conventio they make stuff like this already!

  • gallier2 (unregistered) in reply to Andrew
    Andrew:
    OK, here's mine...

    #!/bin/bash

    SERVER=192.168.1.23 DEVICE=/dev/cdrom1

    while true; do
    STATUS=$(ping -c 1 $SERVER | grep "Unreachable" | gawk '{print $6}') if [ $STATUS = "Unreachable" ]; then eject $DEVICE eject -t $DEVICE fi sleep 2m STATUS="" done

    exit 0

    Seriously, what's wrong with you people?

    #!/bin/bash

SERVER=192.168.1.23
DEVICE=/dev/cdrom1

while true; do
if ! ping $SERVER >/dev/null; then
eject $DEVICE
eject -t $DEVICE
fi
sleep 2m
done
  • bob42 (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that, it's not a server. He could have written out a lengthy description of what it's for and print it out and tape that to the stack. Instead he named it like a server, put a "DO NOT MOVE" sign and went on.

  • vereor (unregistered)
    With my road trip to devLink this week, last week's recovery from con flu, and the previous week's GenCon... I'm a bit behind. But that's okay. ITAPPMONROBOT is one of my all-time favorites, and was originally published on December 18, 2007.

    It's not ok, dude. I expect an article every day.

  • (cs) in reply to vereor
    vereor:
    With my road trip to devLink this week, last week's recovery from con flu, and the previous week's GenCon... I'm a bit behind. But that's okay. ITAPPMONROBOT is one of my all-time favorites, and was originally published on December 18, 2007.

    It's not ok, dude. I expect an article every day.

    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...

    We can't always get what we want, unless of course you're willing to pay for it.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Jay:
    JamesCurran:
    I'm not sure I'm buying it. I've used dozens of CDROM drives over the years, and none have come shooting out with enough force to press a button on a CPU (which are usually recessed to prevent accidental pressing)

    "Shooting out"? You don't need speed to press a reset button.

    As to the amount of force, I don't suppose there's a lot of power behind the motor in a CD tray. But then, it doesn't take a lot of force to push a reset button.

    If only there was some way to relate force to "speed" (or something)...

    Yes, yes, f=ma and all that, but we're not talking about an object given an initial impetus and then left to continue moving solely by momentum. We're talking about something with a motor attached, that can continue to apply force over time.

  • jmm (unregistered)

    Forget Old Yeller.

    Did you cry when ITAPPMONROBOT died?

  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...

    We can't always get what we want, unless of course you're willing to pay for it.

    Bacon's gross, dude. Deep-fried salty stick of lard with some stringy meat in it, yuck. We've been over that. The rest shouldn't be too hard to arrange. Maybe you should try a little of my positive thinking.

  • (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    Bacon's gross, dude. Deep-fried salty stick of lard with some stringy meat in it, yuck. We've been over that.
    Are you a fat hairy vegan dyke?!

    You have the four main components for delicious:

    1. Salty
    2. Fatty
    3. Fried
    4. Meat

    Don't tell me that you don't like BBQ pork back ribs either...

  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    trtrwtf:
    Bacon's gross, dude. Deep-fried salty stick of lard with some stringy meat in it, yuck. We've been over that.
    Are you a fat hairy vegan dyke?!

    Fatter than I was a few years ago, but I still wear the same pants size. Hairier than some, I'll cop to that. Not a vegan, but meat isn't the main component of my diet. I guess I've got the main qualification for being a dyke, but the penis does disqualify me.

    You have the four main components for delicious: 1) Salty 2) Fatty 3) Fried 4) Meat

    Oh, how lucky you are... there's a whole world of food out there that you get to learn about.

    Don't tell me that you don't like BBQ pork back ribs either...

    Too sweet, generally. I was actually raised eating food with flavor, so American food is usually pretty boring for me.

  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to trtrwtf

    ...and once again i've hosed the code tags. Oh, well.

  • (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    You have the four main components for delicious: 1) Salty 2) Fatty 3) Fried 4) Meat
    Don't forget the smoke flavor.
  • (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    Oh, how lucky you are... there's a whole world of food out there that you get to learn about.
    Oh, I think you're misinterpreting what I'm saying... I love all kinds of food, especially Thai and Indian food, and sushi. It's just that every now and then I gotsta have me muh bacon!
    trtrwtf:
    Too sweet, generally. I was actually raised eating food with flavor, so American food is usually pretty boring for me.
    Fair enough, American (western) food is generally quite sweet and fatty, but that's mostly because it's cheap and easily accessible, not because it tastes the best or because it's good for you. I hate McDs, but I eat it out of necessity (running late, etc.) and I would MUCH rather sit down to an awsome currey dish.

    I'm curious as to what you consider "food with flavor"?

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    C-Octothorpe:
    You have the four main components for delicious: 1) Salty 2) Fatty 3) Fried 4) Meat
    Don't forget the smoke flavor.
    Ha! I meant to come back and add that to my list, but got busy and forgot. Thanks for covering my back!
  • (cs) in reply to jmm
    jmm:
    Forget Old Yeller.

    Did you cry when ITAPPMONROBOT died?

    Forget Dobby, come to that ...

  • (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    vereor:
    With my road trip to devLink this week, last week's recovery from con flu, and the previous week's GenCon... I'm a bit behind. But that's okay. ITAPPMONROBOT is one of my all-time favorites, and was originally published on December 18, 2007.

    It's not ok, dude. I expect an article every day.

    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...

    We can't always get what we want, unless of course you're willing to pay for it.

    No, no, NO! Scrambled - yuck! Over easy or sunny side up or not at all.

  • [anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by! (unregistered) in reply to Matt Westwood
    Matt Westwood:
    C-Octothorpe:
    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...
    No, no, NO! Scrambled - yuck! Over easy or sunny side up or not at all.
    You reactionary prude... oh, you're talking about the eggs. Whatevs.
  • trtrwtf (unregistered) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    I'm curious as to what you consider "food with flavor"?

    My mother is a great cook, and so was my grandmother. Mom learned how to make Indian food from some of her colleagues before I was born (I think they were mostly from Gujarat), so I always had that. She learned how to make Italian food from her mother, so there was always that - the real stuff, not the "spaghetti an' meatsaballs" parody. She also picked up a lot of other tricks, but now I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Basically, what I mean is food with a balance, food centered on fresh vegetables with (or without) some meat as an accent. American food is typically centered on a lump of meat, with the interesting stuff as a sort of afterthought - to me, eating that much meat starts to feel more like work very quickly. To me, the whole meal is interesting, and a cook who doesn't realize that rice has flavor, or that potatoes are something more than just something to fill up a plate with, is someone whose food I don't want to eat. And if the greens have to be drowned out by the steak, I don't want to eat either.

  • (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    C-Octothorpe:
    I'm curious as to what you consider "food with flavor"?

    My mother is a great cook, and so was my grandmother. Mom learned how to make Indian food from some of her colleagues before I was born (I think they were mostly from Gujarat), so I always had that. She learned how to make Italian food from her mother, so there was always that - the real stuff, not the "spaghetti an' meatsaballs" parody. She also picked up a lot of other tricks, but now I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Basically, what I mean is food with a balance, food centered on fresh vegetables with (or without) some meat as an accent. American food is typically centered on a lump of meat, with the interesting stuff as a sort of afterthought - to me, eating that much meat starts to feel more like work very quickly. To me, the whole meal is interesting, and a cook who doesn't realize that rice has flavor, or that potatoes are something more than just something to fill up a plate with, is someone whose food I don't want to eat. And if the greens have to be drowned out by the steak, I don't want to eat either.

    Bastard... Off to eat a second lunch.

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    If only there was some way to relate force to "speed" (or something)...
    Maybe we can clone Sir Isaac Newton and get him to come back and invent a mathematics that can describe such things.
  • (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...
    Hopefully not first thing in the morning. Make her brush her teeth first for the love of Gawduh.
  • [anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by! (unregistered) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    C-Octothorpe:
    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...
    Hopefully not first thing in the morning. Make her brush her teeth first for the love of Gawduh.
    But not after, unless you're some kind of square.
  • Irish Girl (unregistered) in reply to [anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!
    [anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!:
    Matt Westwood:
    C-Octothorpe:
    And I expect a BJ every morning followed by breakfast in bed consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice...
    No, no, NO! Scrambled - yuck! Over easy or sunny side up or not at all.
    You reactionary prude... oh, you're talking about the eggs. Whatevs.

    How do you like your eggs in the morning? I prefer mine unfertilised, to be sure.

  • Marek (unregistered)

    In the Mid 90', a group of friends designed a community server we could dial to.

    The home made server application was running over MsDos and, despite its many qualities, sometimes hang. A reboot was then required.

    For that purpose, the server was sending a signal to a external circuit (aka the "watchdog") via his parallel port every second. The watchdog was connected back to the server's motherbord and whould reset the server should the application fail to send the signal for 5 times in a row.

    This system never failed us.

  • (cs) in reply to Marek
    Marek:
    In the Mid 90', a group of friends designed a community server we could dial to.

    The home made server application was running over MsDos and, despite its many qualities, sometimes hang. A reboot was then required.

    For that purpose, the server was sending a signal to a external circuit (aka the "watchdog") via his parallel port every second. The watchdog was connected back to the server's motherbord and whould reset the server should the application fail to send the signal for 5 times in a row.

    This system never failed us.

    Or rather, it never failed to recover from constant failure. Call it the "King David" Server.

  • The Poop... of DOOM! (unregistered) in reply to Ken B.
    Ken B.:
    dörte:
    I did not notice it the first time I read that story, but how did the drive get back in? I think its not possible in software, at least on windows with no additional software? oO
    So, you've never installed some software, had the tray eject, and start to reboot the system, reach for the CD to take it out, only to have the tray pull back in? Perhaps you've only seen laptop drives, and not desktops?
    Gotta hate it when that happens... especially if you got the disc either half-in or half-out. Happens nearly every time to me.
  • MrBob (unregistered) in reply to Ken B.

    You are describing a hardware watchdog circuit. I've worked with "industrial" boards that have this feature built onto the board, and there is support for this type of feature in the Linux kernel.

    I've been wondering if there might be a market for such a thing: plug this dongle into a USB or serial port, attach these wires to the reset pins on the motherboard, and you've got a hardware watchdog for your server.

  • Zetguy (unregistered)

    it has our pity, a useful thing made to die a useless death.

  • (cs)

    I can only imagine the fun a tech in the future would have had when responding to the following situation:

    "There's an old server in the back corner of the server room. Nobody knows what it does, or what it is supposed to do. But every two minutes, it attempts to eject a non-existent CD. Go find out what's up with that."

  • augue (unregistered)

    This reminds me on what I saw on this site: http://OnlineStorageSolutionScam.com

    So, I'd say it's ok to do that, as long as you know what you're doing.

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