• EatenByAGrue (unregistered)

    The only way I can think of to deal with this without getting fired is:

    1. Cultivate friendships with people in other departments who don't report to the CDM. For a lot of geeks, this is actually the hardest step.

    2. Leak information about how badly the CDM is doing to your pals in other departments. For instance, to your pal the accountant "I've put together a solution to solve your problem with our accounting system, but the CDM implemented a new policy saying I can't give it out to you guys until next Thursday." Or "I'm sorry your big promotion didn't get out on schedule: we're still getting used to the CDM's new processes."

    3. When their manager catches wind of this sort of thing being common, send the manager the announcement of the annoying policy. If there isn't one, explain that this other manager wasn't aware of the CDM's policies, and ask the CDM to send over a confirmation. Make it clear throughout your discussions with the other team that you want to be as helpful to them as you can, but the CDM's policies are getting in the way.

    4. Continue this with as many teams as possible. Your goal is to route information about the CDM's incompetence around the damage (the CDM) towards someone who can do something about it.

    5. Repeat step 3 up the other team's management chain until you reach someone with authority over the CDM. Offer to explain the entire situation to him as you see it, so he can make an informed decision.

    This obviously won't work is upper management is also staffed with complete bozos, but it can definitely help if there's a well-meaning upper management who's been taken in by a mid-level bozo.

  • Yardik (unregistered)

    Getting fired is never a good thing. Bottom line is, if you quit, OK.. if you get fired you just wasted your time with a job you can never use as a reference.

    I don't understand why everyone thinks this situation is unwinnable. The bottom line is, unless you are socially inept and cannot in a convincing manner explain yourself to management, this can be dealt with simply.

    1 - Go to your direct manager, explain the problem, explain you have other developers with the same problems. Be detailed. Be prepared. If direct manager is unsupportive or just lacks balls, follow the the next steps yourself.

    2 - Go to person directly above the CDM. Accost them in hallway, or via phone. Get some time with them on their calendar. Apologize for taking it behind the CDMs back but explain you are afraid for your job, also explain why you are afraid to lose your job. Provide detailed points, be prepared.

    3 - Provide a valid and cost effective solution. If you don't have a solution, than you should not be approaching upper management. Never bitch unless you can fix the problem.

    4 - Make sure you have documented your steps and details of the problems and solutions. If the CDMs manager is unsupportive or brushes you off, take it up another level. When in doubt show how much $$$'s are being lost due to CDM, and how many $$$'s can be saved with better solution. Managers love $$$'s.

    5 - If you cannot gain support by following the steps above you are likely not being clear, concise and prepared in your meetings. Or you are so socially inept nobody knows your name or what you do.. a common problem with most devs.

    Take some public speaking courses, learn how to communicate effectively (read: manipulate) others. Gain confidence and charisma. Make people like you. If your have these traits people will listen to you, and you will get what you want.

    Bottom line is, the CDM was just better at playing the game than the developers.

  • pueblonative (unregistered) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Ben:
    Anonymous Coward:
    This probably doesn't even have to be said, since it feels so obvious to me: I would've fired them too. I'dve fired each of the hundreds of developers. If they weren't smart enough to work around this insanity, how would they be able to program a damn thing? Give the PHB lipservice and then set up your own CM process. Once it's stable, show the guy how much it makes sense and make it easy and obvious for him to take all the credit for the idea with his bosses. Yeah, he'll probably get a bonus equal to a year of your salary, but all you really want is painless builds.

    By your logic, if I want painless teeth I should smash myself in the face with a baseball bat, hire a lawyer to sue the manufacturer, find a dentist and plastic surgeon to do reconstructive work in an alley, and then use the rest of the money to load myself up with heroin and stitch myself up the rest of the way with the dealer's used needles.

    I'd rather just use a toothbrush.

    CAPTCHA: your teeth will be damnum.

    I see no correlation between your convoluted analogy and Anonymous Coward's comment. Directly confronting an egotistical confrontational higher-up is never wise. Especially if he has the ability to fire you.

    If I'm on the Titanic and I see the asshat in charge directing us headon into the iceberg, I'm not going to be concerned about peeving him off cause he might throw me overboard if I complain.

    Captcha: distineo. Not sure of the definition, but I'm sure Phil Collins could make it into a great song.

  • (cs) in reply to pueblonative
    pueblonative:
    frits:
    Ben:
    Anonymous Coward:
    This probably doesn't even have to be said, since it feels so obvious to me: I would've fired them too. I'dve fired each of the hundreds of developers. If they weren't smart enough to work around this insanity, how would they be able to program a damn thing? Give the PHB lipservice and then set up your own CM process. Once it's stable, show the guy how much it makes sense and make it easy and obvious for him to take all the credit for the idea with his bosses. Yeah, he'll probably get a bonus equal to a year of your salary, but all you really want is painless builds.

    By your logic, if I want painless teeth I should smash myself in the face with a baseball bat, hire a lawyer to sue the manufacturer, find a dentist and plastic surgeon to do reconstructive work in an alley, and then use the rest of the money to load myself up with heroin and stitch myself up the rest of the way with the dealer's used needles.

    I'd rather just use a toothbrush.

    CAPTCHA: your teeth will be damnum.

    I see no correlation between your convoluted analogy and Anonymous Coward's comment. Directly confronting an egotistical confrontational higher-up is never wise. Especially if he has the ability to fire you.

    If I'm on the Titanic and I see the asshat in charge directing us headon into the iceberg, I'm not going to be concerned about peeving him off cause he might throw me overboard if I complain.

    Captcha: distineo. Not sure of the definition, but I'm sure Phil Collins could make it into a great song.

    So you'd rather face certain death than a possibility of survival? Because he's not changing his course if you confront him directly. Now, if you put a bug in the captain's ear and give the windbag lipservice, you just may miss the iceberg.

  • ex Bouncer now a coder/analyst (unregistered)

    New career option. Hire myself out to dev teams with management issues and 'take care of them'.

    Think Dalton in Roadhouse only twice his size...

  • JFalcon (unregistered) in reply to Yardik
    Yardik:
    Getting fired is never a good thing. Bottom line is, if you quit, OK.. if you get fired you just wasted your time with a job you can never use as a reference.

    I don't understand why everyone thinks this situation is unwinnable. The bottom line is, unless you are socially inept and cannot in a convincing manner explain yourself to management, this can be dealt with simply.

    1 - Go to your direct manager, explain the problem, explain you have other developers with the same problems. Be detailed. Be prepared. If direct manager is unsupportive or just lacks balls, follow the the next steps yourself.

    2 - Go to person directly above the CDM. Accost them in hallway, or via phone. Get some time with them on their calendar. Apologize for taking it behind the CDMs back but explain you are afraid for your job, also explain why you are afraid to lose your job. Provide detailed points, be prepared.

    3 - Provide a valid and cost effective solution. If you don't have a solution, than you should not be approaching upper management. Never bitch unless you can fix the problem.

    4 - Make sure you have documented your steps and details of the problems and solutions. If the CDMs manager is unsupportive or brushes you off, take it up another level. When in doubt show how much $$$'s are being lost due to CDM, and how many $$$'s can be saved with better solution. Managers love $$$'s.

    5 - If you cannot gain support by following the steps above you are likely not being clear, concise and prepared in your meetings. Or you are so socially inept nobody knows your name or what you do.. a common problem with most devs.

    Take some public speaking courses, learn how to communicate effectively (read: manipulate) others. Gain confidence and charisma. Make people like you. If your have these traits people will listen to you, and you will get what you want.

    Bottom line is, the CDM was just better at playing the game than the developers.

    I was about to reply most of what you had already said; however I disagree with a couple things. Those that I agree with and will re-inforce are:

    a) Give examples of how much time is lost and how that converts to money lost by the company from said loss; b) Propose solutions (and usually more than one) that would not only offset the loss from (a) but promote gains; c) Always document all of your steps, not just in resolving problems with management, but when taking care of issues with clients, fixing bugs in software, etc. (It usually helps me remember what I did a year ago if I note something about the fix in our tracking system.)

    I don't think you have to manipulate others to get end results. However, what you do need to do is find a way to have others understand they are being manipulated.

    There is eventually a 'win' if people are willing to "tough it out" and continue to be good workers and build a case against a person who is really 'hurting' the company. I have actually seen that first-hand in my career. However, sometimes people aren't allowed to move within the company or learn new things and it is probably in their best interest to leave when such a stifling happens.

  • (cs)

    Hey, CDM, this solution is EXACTLY what we need!! If we move it from an excel spreadsheet to a SQL database (or access database), or whatever, we can apply it to other departments processes too!!!

  • Neither Roy Nor Moss (unregistered) in reply to ex Bouncer now a coder/analyst
    ex Bouncer now a coder/analyst:
    New career option. Hire myself out to dev teams with management issues and 'take care of them'.

    Think Dalton in Roadhouse only twice his size...

    If someone has plans to take care of geeks with management issues, I'd prefer to think of Jen Barber...

    Second attempt at posting... (Yes, I did try turning it off and on again. )

  • myself (unregistered) in reply to Lee K-T

    What has the Tooth Fairy got to do with it?

    TTF is a wiz with spreadsheets and hotter than Natalie Portman as well!

  • Another Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to frits

    Which proves, again, that geeks have no social skill to speak of. The CDM clearly has, as he demonstrated in this story again and again. In a way he is clearly superior: Keeps his job, gets the bonus, had fun commanding The Maggots around, finally switch company just before it collapses for his lack of management skill -- and his bosses lack of such skill. Rinse, repeat. :)

  • Rabiator (unregistered) in reply to Coyne
    Coyne:
    Bet they weren't told all the cost of the 3rd party solution. When the real bill comes, that'll get blamed on one or more slaves, resulting in even more savings.
    At that point the CDM might still have some 'splaining to do: Buying and introducing the 3rd party solution is usually not something a low level slave can do. Someone in management had to sign for this...
  • Cantalopian (unregistered)

    This is a bogus event. Never would a CDM exist! My advice, should you find yourself in such a situation, is

    1. Detach emotionally from the situation.
    2. Become a phantom.
    3. Use sick days.
    4. Look for another job.
  • Anynomous Coward (unregistered)

    The real WTF is how you get 200 developers together and can't figure out how to turn on "Share Workbook" in Excel... Or use WSS which is free and part of the base Windows Server Install... Or just use Access on a shared drive... or... Well you get the point.

  • anon (unregistered) in reply to Yardik

    I haven't had a job where going over my boss' head would lead to good results. Most of the jobs I've had the supervisor has a closer relationship to upper management than I have. So if I decided to go above my supervisor's head, management would probably be more likely to take the supervisor's side of the story. I hate to sound negative, but I doubt ever going above a supervisor would lead to good results.

  • Bob's Lawn Service (unregistered)

    The problem is that there are many spiteful little trolls like this in management because in a lot of cases it's the guy who successfully shifts the most blame that looks most competent to upper management.

    You can try manipulate or one up him but he will always come out on top because that it the credos around which he has based his entire career.

    Your best bet in a situation is just to leave.

  • (cs) in reply to Cantalopian
    Cantalopian:
    This is a bogus event. Never would a CDM exist! My advice, should you find yourself in such a situation, is 1. Detach emotionally from the situation. 2. Become a phantom. 3. Use sick days. 4. Look for another job.

    Good advise.

Leave a comment on “Classic WTF: The Chief Development Manager”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article