• (cs)

    Since this is about gloves, I guess "fist" is finally appropriate.

  • John Matrix (unregistered)

    No need for gloves, just heat to the main part of the body:

    http://www.freepatentsonline.com/WO2007128129.html

  • Anonymous coward (unregistered)

    also shouting Fecund! seems to be appropriate for such a fecund discussion

  • (cs)

    I have to keep telling my proctologist that. Gloves.

  • Jeff (unregistered)

    Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

  • Zan Lynx (unregistered)

    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

  • Christopher (unregistered) in reply to Zan Lynx
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

  • causa (unregistered) in reply to Christopher
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

  • JR (unregistered)

    The obligatory practical example of just what happens when you over engineer the humble bicycle:

    [image]
  • (cs)

    In the words of the unfailable Strong Bad:

    Gloves! G-Get some real gloves!
  • (cs) in reply to causa
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle

    What do you care? You're dead, remember?

  • Izzy (unregistered)

    Great. Now we have to invent a system to keep the gloves warm. Maybe we could enclose the bicycle in a rigid covering with some glass windows for visibility. You'd need four wheels to stabilize it and maybe a small motor to assist moving the extra mass. Oh! That gives me an idea. We could heat the enclosure with waste heat from the motor, add satellite radio and install some cupholders.

    We can call it a car.

  • n/a (unregistered) in reply to JR

    What this lacks in practicality, it more than makes up for in awesomeness.

  • n/a (unregistered) in reply to JR
    JR:
    The obligatory practical example of just what happens when you over engineer the humble bicycle:

    [image]

    What this lacks in practicality, it more than makes up for in awesomeness.

    (Now with quotey goodness)

  • (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

  • (cs) in reply to newfweiler
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

  • Matt S (unregistered)

    I feel like such an idiot for thinking this was such a great idea, up until that last email.

  • @ (unregistered)

    I don't like thick gloves so if its really cold, having heated handlebars would on my bike would be great. My motorbike will certainly get some eventually.

  • Neil (unregistered)

    Having ridden in cold weather, I'd say that regular gloves suck at keeping your hands warm on a bicycle. Battery heated gloves or toasty grips sound pretty good.

    I'm going to guess that guy who piped up about gloves was a boss and that was his way of saying get back to work.

  • Clarence Odbody (unregistered) in reply to Uber
    Uber:

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The Bahamas cease reflecting sound waves. Now what do you do?

  • (cs) in reply to Uber
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

    So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

  • Survey User 2338 (unregistered)

    If you want to know who this guy is...he over engineered the bicycle into the segway.

  • EatenByAGrue (unregistered) in reply to TakeASeatOverThere
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

  • bramster (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    Jeff:
    Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

    So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

    Problem with gloves: Heat loss from the individual fingers. Solution: Big Honking Fur-lined Leather Mitts.

    Unlike feet on bicycle pedals, hands on handlebars don't do much to encourage blood flow. Reunaud's syndrome exacerbates the situation.

    Mitts. Big Honking Fur-lined Leather Mitts. $8/pair at wallymart

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to bramster
    bramster:
    SomeCoder:
    Jeff:
    Actually, the product already exists. For motorcycles anyway. Heated grips and/or gloves are very popular for riding in the winter, although a good pair of gloves and a wind-blocking shield for the grips usually work well enough.

    So those wind blocking shields work? I would like to get something like that for my motorcycle because no, gloves don't really cut it if it's really cold and you're going down the freeway at 60 MPH.

    Problem with gloves: Heat loss from the individual fingers. Solution: Big Honking Fur-lined Leather Mitts.

    Unlike feet on bicycle pedals, hands on handlebars don't do much to encourage blood flow. Reunaud's syndrome exacerbates the situation.

    Mitts. Big Honking Fur-lined Leather Mitts. $8/pair at wallymart

    Have you ever driven a motorcycle? That's not going to be terribly fun to operate with big mitts on. You still need to have some tactile sense on the grips and operating the throttle, clutch and hand brake with mitts on would be relatively difficult.

    I don't even really like using my gloves that much but it's way better than the alternative :)

  • Dan (unregistered)

    Two quotes come to mind

    1. If the glove doesn't fit you must acquit. - OJ Simpson Defense lawyer

    2. No glove, no love. - That's what she said.

  • (cs) in reply to EatenByAGrue

    The point is moot because vampires can't cross running water.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    I was going to chime in about gloves being somewhat cumbersome and in some instances suboptimal but I see that someone else has already made that point.

    Nonetheless, this reminds me of a discussion I heard on NPR's Car Talk, wherein they pointed out that two guys who know nothing about a subject know less than one guy who knows nothing about a subject. The theory, as I remember it, is as follows:

    If you ask one guy about something which he knows nothing, he'll probably just admit it and that will be that.

    However, two (or more) guys will start speculating and weaving elaborate scenarios or theories, adding up to considerably less than nothing.

    There's probably some X chromosome linkage involved. . .

    Anyhow, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

  • (cs) in reply to EatenByAGrue
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

  • Vic Tim (unregistered)

    Put it in an Interview 2.0 and I'll tell you my answer. Ah, whoam ah kiddin! Ahm gonna till ya anahwey!

    Everyone knows that the warmest place on your body when you're riding a bike is your perineum. Construct a pair of heatpipes in the seat tracing along the frame...

  • Alison (unregistered) in reply to Uber
    Uber:
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

    Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

  • VChu (unregistered)

    I have a very poor circulation, and my hands are almost always cold except when I'm exposed to the direct sunlight for 15+ minutes or I'm keeping my hands close to my body. Winter combined with walking or riding a bike will result in frozen fingers for me no matter how thick my gloves are. Gloves are like a somewhat defective thermos. They help you keep your hands warm, only if they are warm to begin with. If they are icy cold anyway, gloves will not help.

    Now if we develop a turbo for the heart which would pump the blood faster...

  • Vic Tim (unregistered) in reply to Uber
    Uber:
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

    Walk to Florida instead. Take some old people out for drinks.

  • TomatoQueen (unregistered) in reply to Steve
    Steve:
    I was going to chime in about gloves being somewhat cumbersome and in some instances suboptimal but I see that someone else has already made that point.

    Nonetheless, this reminds me of a discussion I heard on NPR's Car Talk, wherein they pointed out that two guys who know nothing about a subject know less than one guy who knows nothing about a subject. The theory, as I remember it, is as follows:

    If you ask one guy about something which he knows nothing, he'll probably just admit it and that will be that.

    However, two (or more) guys will start speculating and weaving elaborate scenarios or theories, adding up to considerably less than nothing.

    There's probably some X chromosome linkage involved. . .

    Anyhow, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

    There's more likely Y x 2 chromosome linkage involved, and Click and Clack would be the first to admit it, along with self-administration of dope-slaps.

  • (cs)

    Amazing: nobody's posted this yet.

    Heated Apparel for Motorcycling

    Oh... somebody has. How 'bout that.

  • Wayne (unregistered)

    OK, genius.

    What about in the summertime? How do you bike to work without sweating like a pig when you get there.

    Answer (at least around these parts): You don't. Unless you can work up a pedal-powered air-conditioner unit and have it be cheap enough in money and in energy usage...

  • (cs) in reply to Wayne
    Wayne:
    OK, genius.

    What about in the summertime? How do you bike to work without sweating like a pig when you get there.

    Answer (at least around these parts): You don't. Unless you can work up a pedal-powered air-conditioner unit and have it be cheap enough in money and in energy usage...

    Already answered above: enclose on frame with 4 wheel base, add motor for propulsion, add a/c compressor/blower, call it a car.

  • Izzy (unregistered) in reply to Uber
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    If you can fly, why were you riding a bicycle?

  • m0ffx (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Wayne:
    OK, genius.

    What about in the summertime? How do you bike to work without sweating like a pig when you get there.

    Answer (at least around these parts): You don't. Unless you can work up a pedal-powered air-conditioner unit and have it be cheap enough in money and in energy usage...

    Already answered above: enclose on frame with 4 wheel base, add motor for propulsion, add a/c compressor/blower, call it a car.

    Your car gets stuck in traffic. Now what do you do?

  • Chiply (unregistered) in reply to Wayne
    Wayne:
    OK, genius.

    What about in the summertime? How do you bike to work without sweating like a pig when you get there. ... ...

    answer...
    Everyone knows that the warmest place on your body when you're riding a bike is your perineum. Construct a pair of heatpipes in the seat tracing along the frame...

    Just run this in reverse through a radiator to lose the heat and cool your perineum

  • Dink (unregistered)

    Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to TomatoQueen
    TomatoQueen:
    Steve:
    There's probably some X chromosome linkage involved. . .

    Anyhow, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

    There's more likely Y x 2 chromosome linkage involved, and Click and Clack would be the first to admit it, along with self-administration of dope-slaps.
    Dang! Please consider a self-adminstered dope-slap delivered. I can't believe made such a boneheaded mistake.

    And I work with biologists, too.

    Sheesh.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Dink
    Dink:
    Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.
    Yeah, but what aobut pencil shavings in zero G? You'd need a vacuum attachment on the pencil sharpener to . . .
  • Jorgey Porgey (unregistered) in reply to Alison
    Alison:
    Uber:
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

    Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

    Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

  • (cs) in reply to Jorgey Porgey
    Jorgey Porgey:
    Alison:
    Uber:
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

    Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

    Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

    Explore the universe.

  • Seraph (unregistered) in reply to Dink
    Dink:
    Reminds me of the development of the ballpoint pen with the ink pump so our astronauts could write in zero-g. The Soviets solved the same problem with pencils.
    So you think re-engineering a whole space vehicle to tolerate the tiny pieces of conductive graphite that a pencil would have relesed is a less complicated idea then designing a pen?
  • Suomynona (unregistered) in reply to lolwtf
    lolwtf:
    Jorgey Porgey:
    Alison:
    Uber:
    EatenByAGrue:
    TakeASeatOverThere:
    Uber:
    newfweiler:
    akatherder:
    snoofle:
    causa:
    Christopher:
    Zan Lynx:
    The whole system to pipe heat from the main body to the hands via fluid already exists too.

    It's called "blood".

    I am dead and my blood is no longer distributing heat.

    What do you do now?

    Throw your body on a fire to warm other people.

    It is too cold to start a fire.

    What do you do now?

    Freeze to death.

    You've been made immortal by a vampire's bite.

    What do you do now?

    Turn into a bat and fly to the Bahamas.

    The national guard will shoot you if you get into their airspace.

    What do you do now?

    You're a vampire. I don't think you have to get too worried about being shot, unless they're shooting wooden stakes. Plus I doubt that the national guard of the Bahamas shoots at every bird imaginable.

    Alternately, just turn back into human form and swim the rest of the way.

    The national guard is on high alert for a vampire invasion, are armed with silver bullets, and have orders to fire at will on any flying object. Swimming is not possible because the distance is too far and the sun will rise before reaching shelter.

    Now what do you do?

    Laugh at the national guard for using silver bullets (those are for werewolves, not vampires), turn all the national guard into vampires and take over the world.

    Your immortal, took over the world, outlasted everybody, and watched all the movies ever made. You're bored. What do you do now?!

    Explore the universe.

    The Universal Police Force has been tipped off to an immortal on Earth and have encapsulated the planet in a giant hollow unbreakable sphere.

Leave a comment on “Classic WTF: The Complicator's Gloves”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article