The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

C-Octothorpe · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Anonymous Cow-Herd:
Niels Esge Rasmussen:
C-Octothorpe:
I like how his cloning logic doesn't actually, well, you know, CLONE!!!
Here, let me fix the code sample:
public static IClonable SuperDuperSafeCloneIClonable(IClonable a)
{ return a; }
FTFY
You forgot to serialize the reference to XML, write it out to a configuration file, print out the file, put the printout on a wooden table, take a photograph, print the photograph, scan the printed photograph, email the scan to the operator, OCR the XML data from it and deserialize it before returning it. Call yourselves "enterprise"?

Hmm, you're right, but I think there may be some performance issues...

Oh well, let's just ignore the performance issues and throw up modal dialogs with progress bars that don't actually reflect the amount of work complete. Initially the users won't complain because the amount of data would be minimal, but in a couple of years when the database grows, they would have to engage our consulting services for $2600 a day to "fix" their crippled application. Then, after three months of surfing porn on the clients dime, we would dutifully present them with a solution that involves upgrading them to the newest version of the software... But don't worry, we'd give them a good deal because it's still in beta release...

Now how's THAT for enterprisey?

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Boy: Do not try to execute the GC. That would be impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth.

Neo: ...and what is the truth?

Boy: There is no GC. Then you realize that it not the GC that executes, but only your code.

Woman: Oracle is ready for you.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

While we seem to be on cultural icons:

"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"

The Great Lobachevsky · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"

Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Llamas:
Can anyone come up with a reason (sane or not) for making the assignment to b on the method's first line?!

Because you get a compiler error if you don’t assign anything there, due to returning a possibly unassigned variable.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"

"Are you familiar with automatic forms of memory management?" "..i.. ...If you are referring to... um... Garbage Collection... I am... fully functional... programmed in multiple algorithms."

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

The Great Lobachevsky:
QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"
Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.

Two WTFs here: a) Fictional conflicts between rabbits and foxes are considered "racist"; b) Disney is perceived as being the sole source of cultural education.

If we're going down the "racist" route, why does the villain in the Lion King have an English accent? Can we not introduce the death sentence for hypocrites?

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

"Invoke GarbageCollector."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
"Invoke GarbageCollector."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

Sorry, should be: "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

C-Octothorpe · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
QJo:
"Invoke GarbageCollector."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

Sorry, should be: "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

Yeah, I saw that in the .Net 5 prevew too... I think it was in the System.SentientBeing namespace.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

"Ever had your Garbage Collector invoked?" "My... Garbage Collector?" "Yeah. I'm gonna invoke it good." "But I release resources from there..."

frits · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

The Great Lobachevsky:
QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"
Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.

That's all right. Anyone under 30 is pretty much an alien life form as far as I'm concerned. Also, can you not find Uncle Remus books anymore?

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

That sounds quiet menstrual.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

[quote name="Clone Collector"]The blood of one junior developer... at the 1st of every month.[/quote]

That sounds quiet menstrual.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
Nagesh:
Knowing your are to be troling when you redicule A-list celebrity. Would be same for me to be saying "Aishwarya Rai is being ugly as posibly be."

Indeed, that could not possibly be. Indian women are the most beautiful in the world, followed closely of course by British, then (in no particular order) Italian, French, Japanese, Spanish and Filipino

My SO is Chinese, so I am contractually obliged to disagree.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

With all the blathering about Star Wars and specifically about Chewbacca, here's one that's always bugged me: how did anyone ever come up with "Chewbacca" as a the English-language equivalent of his name, when he can't pronounce anything like those syllables?

C-Octothorpe · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
With all the blathering about Star Wars and specifically about Chewbacca, here's one that's always bugged me: how did anyone ever come up with "Chewbacca" as a the English-language equivalent of his name, when he can't pronounce anything like those syllables?

It's because of all the hair balls...

frits · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
trtrwtf:
With all the blathering about Star Wars and specifically about Chewbacca, here's one that's always bugged me: how did anyone ever come up with "Chewbacca" as a the English-language equivalent of his name, when he can't pronounce anything like those syllables?
It's because of all the hair balls...

I always thought it was because he was a Skoal man...

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

frits:
C-Octothorpe:
trtrwtf:
how did anyone ever come up with "Chewbacca"?
It's because of all the hair balls...
I always thought it was because he was a Skoal man...

I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

I once had to do something similar in C++ on NetWare for certification. Part of their certification is to run tests to make sure if the code is denied memory allocation, that the code will not crash. It will deny memory to every single allocation request in the code at least once. It was a huge project ported from Windows, so my boss had me create an allocator that all calls for memory allocation would go through, and if memory allocation failed, then this allocator would loop back and try again (I think up to 5 times). The funny thing was that because I had this allocator, to their certification tests it looked like we only had one place in the code that allocated memory, so it would only deny once.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Ten clone bottles, standing on the wall. Ten clone bottles, standing on the wall. And if one clone bottle Should get accidentally garbage collected, There'd be nine clone bottles, standing on the wall. Nine clone bottles, standing on the wall. And if one clone bottle Should get accidentally garbage collected...

CAPTCHA: erat - electronic rodent.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

QJo:
a) Fictional conflicts between rabbits and foxes are considered "racist";

It's not the fictional conflicts between rabbits and foxes. Indeed, the fictional conflicts between rabbits and foxes are pretty much the only thing in that film not considered racist - it's all the "happy negro" stuff that people tended to object to.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

I should add to this that the lead actor was supposedly unable to attend the premiere in Atlanta because not one of the hotels in the city was willing to book in a black man.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Star Wars N3rd:
CHEWBACCA!!!!!!!!~!:
Star Wars N3rd:
OB1:
That's no moon...
...that's a space station.
That's one of the things that has always confused me...why did they continually refer to it as a "station?" Never in the first movie did it even orbit a planet. It was mobile, so how was it not simply a space ship?
Because the Death Star is so fucking awesome that it doesn't move through the universe, the universe moves around IT!!!!!
That's the other thing: why wasn't it called "Death Moon" or "Death Planet"? Everyone thought it looked like a moon and nothing orbited it. The only time it got shiny was when firing lazers.

Marketing. "Death Star" sounds cool and dangerous. "Death Ship" sounds like it's haunted. "Death Spherical Metal Object" ... umm, no.

Why is Comet cleaning powder called "comet" when it does not orbit the sun or have a tail?

Why was the Chevy Nova called "nova" when it doesn't explode? Well, okay, maybe that's a bad example.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Crash Magnet:
Boy: Do not try to execute the GC. That would be impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth.
Neo: ...and what is the truth?

Boy: There is no GC. Then you realize that it not the GC that executes, but only your code.

Woman: Oracle is ready for you.

Woman: Microsoft SQL Server is ready for you.

FTFY

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

z00n3$!$:
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!

+1 for use of "Chewbacca" and bikini wax in the same sentence.

frits · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Jay:
Why was the Chevy Nova called "nova" when it doesn't explode? Well, okay, maybe that's a bad example.

Also, it doesn't go, so that much is true.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

frits:
The Great Lobachevsky:
QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"
Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.
That's all right. Anyone under 30 is pretty much an alien life form as far as I'm concerned. Also, can you not find Uncle Remus books anymore?

He specifically referred to people "under 30". People under 30 don't read books.

This year my kids' school announced that they'll be issuing diplomas on Ipods for graduates who can't read. :-)

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Jon E.:
z00n3$!$:
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!

+1 for use of "Chewbacca" and bikini wax in the same sentence.

But he didn't....

The Great Lobachevsky · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Jay:
He specifically referred to people "under 30". People under 30 don't read books.
This year my kids' school announced that they'll be issuing diplomas on Ipods for graduates who can't read. :-)

For the record, I'm actually a she :)

But once Disney touches anything, it usually becomes the version people refer to. Could you image Disney retaining the real ending of The Little Mermaid, for example?

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Jon E.:
z00n3$!$:
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!
+1 for use of "Chewbacca" and bikini wax in the same sentence.
But he didn't....

The hell I didn't! Fuck your shit, man! Fuck your ASS!

"You're all mine, now, Chewbacca. Don't worry, the pain is fade away but our love will be forever..."

Yeah, can you even imagine that? Tying Chewy down and ripping off strip after sticky strip of fur, revealing soft, smooth, supple, sexy, salacious, succulent skin underneath? I'd like to image he is also wearing a sleeping mask made of silk and felt with a lace border. That about wraps it up.

Anywho, I actually misread "Skoal". When I saw it, I internally pronounced it as "So-cal" because I'm a daging ryslexic.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Neil:
...
CAPTCHA: erat - electronic rodent.

best captcha caption i've ever read on here. heh.

although, i'm also easily amused.

CAPTCHA: odios - breakfast cereal made from fictional dogs.

Coyne · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Jay:
frits:
The Great Lobachevsky:
QJo:
While we seem to be on cultural icons:
"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"
Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.
That's all right. Anyone under 30 is pretty much an alien life form as far as I'm concerned. Also, can you not find Uncle Remus books anymore?

He specifically referred to people "under 30". People under 30 don't read books.

This year my kids' school announced that they'll be issuing diplomas on Ipods for graduates who can't read. :-)

Can't believe all this discussion about a subject that, properly considered, is perfectly sensible within the context of the story line.

Prior to that moment: Han had never before seen or heard of a ship the size of a small moon; a ship that dwarfed even the largest of the Empire's destroyers.

Neither had Obi Wan. Neither had Chewbacca. Neither had Luke. Neither had C-3PO. Leia had, but wasn't present. R2D2 had, but as a secret to be closely kept.

Given the context, and the lack of prior referents, it makes perfect sense that all of the speakers present would assume it was a space station.

Asked to defend their response later on, they all said, "Well, duhhhh! What idiot would have assumed it was a ship under those circumstances?"

Nagesh · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Nagesh grate faker:
Better to be using WekReference class for managing memory needs:
WeakRefrence http://download.oracle.com/javase/1.3/docs/api/java/lang/ref/WeakReference.html

NOT spam, askimet, m*******d!

Stop corupting my good name!

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
aptent:
TheCPUWizard:
1) NEVER call GC.Collect from "Real" code. For any company/project/team I am involved with, that is an immediate firable effect.

Do not think you relly know what the GC is doing (unless you really are an expert). In fact from a purist perspective there is no Grbage Collector.

Hint: Temporary Objects to NOT cause issues, they prevent them. The overhead of GC is based much more of the complexity of the LIVE object graph. The frequency of GC is dependant on the total allocation rate...

So, would you rather have 1 GC that runs for 200mS, or 100 GC's that each run for 25uS?????
How much do you pay for rent in your ivory tower?
The blood of one junior developer... at the 1st of every month.

Unfortunately that junior developer also did their spell checking.

Captcha: Mara [jade?]

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

The Nerve:

Fixed?

public static IClonable SafelyClone(IClonable a)
{
    IClonable b = a;
    for (int i = 0; 
             i < XmlConfigurationSingleton.getInstance().getIntProperty(XmlConfigurationSingleton.getInstance().getPropertyId("SafeltCloneRetries")); 
             i++)
    {
        try
        {
            b = a.Clone();
            break;
        }
        catch (OutOfMemoryException)
        {
            GC.Collect(GC.MaxGeneration);
            GC.WaitForPendingFinalizers();
        }
    }
    return b;
}

FTFY

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

[quote user="Coyne"][quote user="Jay"][quote user="frits"][quote user="The Great Lobachevsky"][quote user="QJo"]While we seem to be on cultural icons:

"Oh no, Brer Fox! Don't throw me into that thar Garbage Collector over there!"

"Bwahahahaah! If that's where you don't want to be thrown, Brer Rabbit, that's where I'm gonna throw ya!"[/quote] Unfortunately Disney is too chicken $*** to release Song of the South on video because of the racial content. So that isn't going to be much of an icon for anyone under 30.[/quote] That's all right. Anyone under 30 is pretty much an alien life form as far as I'm concerned. Also, can you not find Uncle Remus books anymore?[/quote]

He specifically referred to people "under 30". People under 30 don't read books.

This year my kids' school announced that they'll be issuing diplomas on Ipods for graduates who can't read. :-)[/quote]

Can't believe all this discussion about a subject that, properly considered, is perfectly sensible within the context of the story line.

Prior to that moment: Han had never before seen or heard of a ship the size of a small moon; a ship that dwarfed even the largest of the Empire's destroyers.

Neither had Obi Wan. Neither had Chewbacca. Neither had Luke. Neither had C-3PO. Leia had, but wasn't present. R2D2 had, but as a secret to be closely kept.

Given the context, and the lack of prior referents, it makes perfect sense that all of the speakers present would assume it was a space station.

Asked to defend their response later on, they all said, "Well, duhhhh! What idiot would have assumed it was a ship under those circumstances?" [/quote]

[quote "The Credits"] The Death Star: an armored space station with the ability to destroy an entire planet. [/quote]

[quote "Gov. Tarkin"] Fear will keep the local systems in line: fear of this battle station. [/quote]

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Coyne:
Can't believe all this discussion about a subject that, properly considered, is perfectly sensible within the context of the story line.
Prior to that moment: Han had never before seen or heard of a ship the size of a small moon; a ship that dwarfed even the largest of the Empire's destroyers.

Neither had Obi Wan. Neither had Chewbacca. Neither had Luke. Neither had C-3PO. Leia had, but wasn't present. R2D2 had, but as a secret to be closely kept.

Given the context, and the lack of prior referents, it makes perfect sense that all of the speakers present would assume it was a space station.

Asked to defend their response later on, they all said, "Well, duhhhh! What idiot would have assumed it was a ship under those circumstances?"

The Credits:
The Death Star: an armored space station with the ability to destroy an entire planet.

Gov. Tarkin:
Fear will keep the local systems in line: fear of this battle station.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Just thought of a name for a song/story/book/movie/whathaveyou:

"Cum-sealed envelope"

Had to share.

Matt Westwood · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

z00n3$!$:
trtrwtf:
Jon E.:
z00n3$!$:
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!
+1 for use of "Chewbacca" and bikini wax in the same sentence.
But he didn't....
The hell I didn't! Fuck your shit, man! Fuck your ASS!
"You're all mine, now, Chewbacca. Don't worry, the pain is fade away but our love will be forever..."

Yeah, can you even imagine that? Tying Chewy down and ripping off strip after sticky strip of fur, revealing soft, smooth, supple, sexy, salacious, succulent skin underneath? I'd like to image he is also wearing a sleeping mask made of silk and felt with a lace border. That about wraps it up.

Anywho, I actually misread "Skoal". When I saw it, I internally pronounced it as "So-cal" because I'm a daging ryslexic.

Just thought how funny it would be if they gave Chewie a full all-over bodywax and found out that underneath it all she was a woman ...

Matt Westwood · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Nagesh grate faker:
Better to be using WekReference class for managing memory needs:
WeakRefrence http://download.oracle.com/javase/1.3/docs/api/java/lang/ref/WeakReference.html

NOT spam, askimet, m*******d!

Stop corupting my good name!

Welcome back.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
z00n3$!$:
trtrwtf:
Jon E.:
z00n3$!$:
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!
+1 for use of "Chewbacca" and bikini wax in the same sentence.
But he didn't....
The hell I didn't! Fuck your shit, man! Fuck your ASS!
"You're all mine, now, Chewbacca. Don't worry, the pain is fade away but our love will be forever..."

Yeah, can you even imagine that? Tying Chewy down and ripping off strip after sticky strip of fur, revealing soft, smooth, supple, sexy, salacious, succulent skin underneath? I'd like to image he is also wearing a sleeping mask made of silk and felt with a lace border. That about wraps it up.

Anywho, I actually misread "Skoal". When I saw it, I internally pronounced it as "So-cal" because I'm a daging ryslexic.
Just thought how funny it would be if they gave Chewie a full all-over bodywax and found out that underneath it all she was a woman ...

And when revealed to the audience, they leave the fur on the sensitive regions - i.e. crotch and nipples. Oh gOD, just gave myself a stiffy.

And they left hair in the hairpits and eyebrows too, ouch! Why didn't I wear the pants with the pleats?!

But I'm sure Han figured that out a loooooonnngg time ago.

OooooooooooHHH YyyyeeeaaaaaaaHHHHHH!!!!

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

The Great Lobachevsky:
Jay:
He specifically referred to...
For the record, I'm actually a she :)

I hate it when guys assume you must be a guy just 'cause you're on the internet.

Although I'm also not entirely pleased that almost everyone assumes the only other option is to be a woman.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

All these Star Wars references, and no Attack of the Clones reference? For shame!

Or maybe I missed something.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

JayC:
All these Star Wars references, and no Attack of the Clones reference? For shame!
Or maybe I missed something.

That movie sucked, that's what you're missing.

And it doesn't really apply, as the method would produce at most 1 clone.

Coyne · 2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Gov. Tarkin:
Fear will keep the local systems in line: fear of this battle station.

Well, yes, but Tarkin was an idiot; as subsequent events prove.

The Credits:
The Death Star: an armored space station with the ability to destroy an entire planet.

Point taken. I lose.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

z00n3$!$:
Just thought of a name for a song/story/book/movie/whathaveyou:
"Cum-sealed envelope"

Had to share.

You are a strange, sad little man.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

Lone Marauder:
z00n3$!$:
Just thought of a name for a song/story/book/movie/whathaveyou:
"Cum-sealed envelope"

Had to share.
You are a strange, sad little man.

Little? Your dog's ass didn't think so! HA HA AHA HA!

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

z00n3$!$:
frits:
C-Octothorpe:
trtrwtf:
how did anyone ever come up with "Chewbacca"?
It's because of all the hair balls...
I always thought it was because he was a Skoal man...
I've never been to South California. Sounds like the bikini wax business is huge there. I'm in!

South California is the proposed break-away Republican state. I think they'll be more Skoal tobacco than bikini wax businesses.

2011-09-15 Reply Admin

nah:
MarkJ:
I once saw a legitimate use for preallocated objects in C#. The garbage collector was too slow for the near real time application, so the developer created "pools" of objects and maintained free lists for them. Of course, he actually used these objects over and over rather than having them sit there in the heap, moldering...

I'd argue that of you're coding realtime or near realtime applications then C# might not be the best language choice.

Nor any machine that has more than one core. Even if the SO is linux, that has some kind of real time scalonator.

Clone Collector

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