The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Sad to say, but this reminds me from a person I used to work with. And yes, he was "lead" something too unfortunately..

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock:
nag-geoff:
Evolution is over-rated.
The foreign key part is something I would agree with. There is no point in having foreign keys. They are as useful as the foreigners in my country.
Damn foreigners - can't go anywhere in the world without meeting them

Yeah, it seems like America is the last country in the world that isn't run by a bunch of foreigners.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

PedanticCurmudgeon:
Dan:
Really, in this day and age, we still have readers who can't spot a troll a mile off?
Yes. We also have readers who can spot the troll but respond anyway because they have nothing better to do.

And some people think it's great fun to feed the trolls. Just like some people enjoy feeding the monkeys at the zoo: they find it entertaining to watch them run around, scream, and throw feces.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

nag-geoff:
The foreign key part is something I would agree with. There is no point in having foreign keys. They are as useful as the foreigners in my country.

Yeah, why not use DOMESTIC keys, buddy? Are you trying to put all the domestic key workers out of a job or something? And if we get dependent on foreign keys, what happens if they cut off the supply? Then we won't be able to unlock our own database records. Before you know it they'll be defining all our functions. There's a reason why they call it a foreign key CONSTRAINT.

boog · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.

You joke, but a bunch of developers at a previous job pushed for something like this.

We had a Linux environment, so a few of us used vim, a few used emacs, a few used nano, and a number of Cool Kids used various text editors they found on the Internet. The Cool Kids tried to convince the lowly vim/emacs/nano crowd how much better their Internet-found text editors were, but the vim/emacs/nano crowd just ignored the noise and kept using what they wanted.

So at the next big developer meeting the Cool Kids raised the issue of how expensive it must be to support so many text editors, using that to push for some kind of mandate that all developers use the same text editor (one of their cool Internet-found options, of course).

I sat quietly, letting everyone bicker, until I saw one of the sysadmins shaking his head in disbelief. I told him (interrupting whichever Cool Kid was babbling at the time) not to worry, that vim/emacs/nano all came with the OS, and wouldn't require any additional support. He grinned, and the Cool Kids quickly dropped the subject.

I think I made a couple enemies that day.

operagost · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

snoofle:
I immediately powered down the box and left for two weeks vacation. I did NOT answer my phone. By the time I came back, all the logs had filled, things were crashing or just wouldn't start. They were waiting for me to fix my "sabotage". I showed them that I simply needed to start doing my job again. They never hassled me again.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

One of the best ones. For all the misery that Oracle (or certain other DBSs) can be, it takes a really perverse talent to come up with words to ban constraints. Awe inspiring.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.
Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?

Other than the fact you're probably trolling (or perhaps making an ironic point)...

On one hand you say that Daniel should shut up and cop it sweet, on the other you blame him for not giving advice. Interesting.

IMO if you're hired in a role like 'Database Architect' you are expected to offer technical advice - even when it's not asked for. Hell, I'm only a code monkey but if my boss asks me to do something that goes against my understanding of good Software Engineering practice, I will make sure I go on the record as disagreeing. Sure, there comes a time when you just do what you're told, but Technical decisions should always be made in the most relevant Technical areas.

If we had a manager in a Legal department who insisted his staff followed some questionable directive, would you expect the staff (presumably qualified lawyers) to follow no questions asked? What about in finance? Why are technical roles any different?

Managers should make decisions when they need to be made, but this involves gathering all the information (which almost always comes from below) and assessing it, not creating a solution and insisting that it is the appropriate course of action. This is perhaps one of the most fundamental differences between a good manager and a bad manager. A good manager listens and weighs up options, a bad manager thinks they're God and have ultimate right of dictatorship

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Jim:
Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.
Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?
Other than the fact you're probably trolling (or perhaps making an ironic point)...

On one hand you say that Daniel should shut up and cop it sweet, on the other you blame him for not giving advice. Interesting.

IMO if you're hired in a role like 'Database Architect' you are expected to offer technical advice - even when it's not asked for. Hell, I'm only a code monkey but if my boss asks me to do something that goes against my understanding of good Software Engineering practice, I will make sure I go on the record as disagreeing. Sure, there comes a time when you just do what you're told, but Technical decisions should always be made in the most relevant Technical areas.

If we had a manager in a Legal department who insisted his staff followed some questionable directive, would you expect the staff (presumably qualified lawyers) to follow no questions asked? What about in finance? Why are technical roles any different?

Managers should make decisions when they need to be made, but this involves gathering all the information (which almost always comes from below) and assessing it, not creating a solution and insisting that it is the appropriate course of action. This is perhaps one of the most fundamental differences between a good manager and a bad manager. A good manager listens and weighs up options, a bad manager thinks they're God and have ultimate right of dictatorship

In fact, taking that one step further, it's the reason why highly technical experts often (not always, I'll admit) make bad managers (particularly if they've worked under good managers) - they're used to people listening to their opinion as an SME, and it makes them believe that they are more qualified than anyone else. When they are promoted, especially into a role that suddenly includes a more diverse range of technologies they assume this is an endorsement that they are considered SME's in a broader range of skillsets...

That said, I'd make a friggin awesome manager - honest.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Trish:
BentFranklin:
Cool story, except what kind of architect goes off line for two weeks straight? Surely someone at least called his cell phone?

A sensible one who wants to resign anyway... I know enough people who have two cellphone-numbers, and one of the numbers is only given to a close circle of family-and freinds ans STRICTLY non-work. Might be frowned upon, but works miracles for being able to actually relax on holidays ;)

This is unusual? My personal cellphone number is never given out at work. If work wants me to be contactable, they can provide a cell and number. This cell is then left at work when I'm on holidays - after all, a holiday is an entitlement to have a break from work (and something that increasingly businesses are realizing are reasonably important for health).

If the shit hits the fan while I'm away it's not my problem - they managed before I started here, and I'm sure they'll manage after I leave. Noone (ever) is indispensable. Some people leaving can appear to be a bigger problem than others, but within a few months normality (or some semblance of) resumes...

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Lick My Love Log:
Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.
Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?

Hortie, love, are you a troll or pig-buggering idiot?

Oh, leave him / her be, Hortie's a sweetie.

It's not Daniel that should have been fired, it was whoever authorised him to go on leave in the first place. It was Daniel's absence that directly caused Gerald to think he could fuck up the DB, therefore it was the fault of the person who thought they could get away without Daniel being in the building.

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

jverd:
EatenByAGrue:
My guess: He'd discussed it with CTO, who didn't realize this was a bad idea. When things hit the fan, CTO threw Gerald under a bus rather than to admit that it was something he'd approved.

It's not "throwing somebody under the bus" when you fire him for demonstrating unfathomable incompetence and arrogance, and if the CTO approved it, that doesn't make him equally culpable. Though one can of course hold out the hope that he at least learned a lesson and in the future will solicit the opinions of other senior technical staff before approving such major changes.

But seriously, it wasn't the prime directives that got Gerald fired, it was the buggering about on Production without developing it first on Development and testing it on Test. Wonder why whose boxes got those names.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

wydok:
I stopped reading at part 2, because it wasn't believable and wasn't funny.

I stopped reading halfway through as well, and thought I'd come here and post about it too....

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Jay:
Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock:
nag-geoff:
Evolution is over-rated.
The foreign key part is something I would agree with. There is no point in having foreign keys. They are as useful as the foreigners in my country.
Damn foreigners - can't go anywhere in the world without meeting them

Yeah, it seems like America is the last country in the world that isn't run by a bunch of foreigners.

Can't argue there. The queen's a German, her husband's a Greek, and the deputy prime minister's wife is a BASICing Spaniard, for lisp's sake. Haven't had a proper Welshman in charge for decades.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Jay:
<SNIP>
I just don't buy it when someone says, "We don't have time to find out the facts, this is a crisis and we have to make a decision NOW!". Or, "All the experts agree that this is the right answer. We can't be bothered to explain our reasons, we're the experts and you should just trust us." Or especially, "This is Truth, and if you don't agree you must be some kind of anti-intellectual, anti-science, probably religious extremist."

It's all code:

"We don't have time to find out the facts...." = "someone's arse is going to be on the line for this, and it won't be mine if I insist I could see the urgency of the situation - mistakes made because of such pressure will quite nobly be accepted by any technician associated with the change" "All the experts agree...." = "I read a discussion on stackoverflow (bytes/whatever) where at least 2 of the 15 posters shared my view before being yelled down by the masses" "This is Truth...." = similar to "All the experts agree..." but more often is a misinterpretation of a single statement on Wikipedia or similar site...

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

vacation taker:
Why didn't he quit first and use his owed vacation as his two week notice ?

Because then we wouldn't have had this story....

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

boog:
Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.
You joke, but a bunch of developers at a previous job pushed for something like this.
We had a Linux environment, so a few of us used vim, a few used emacs, a few used nano, and a number of Cool Kids used various text editors they found on the Internet. The Cool Kids tried to convince the lowly vim/emacs/nano crowd how much better their Internet-found text editors were, but the vim/emacs/nano crowd just ignored the noise and kept using what they wanted.

So at the next big developer meeting the Cool Kids raised the issue of how expensive it must be to support so many text editors, using that to push for some kind of mandate that all developers use the same text editor (one of their cool Internet-found options, of course).

I sat quietly, letting everyone bicker, until I saw one of the sysadmins shaking his head in disbelief. I told him (interrupting whichever Cool Kid was babbling at the time) not to worry, that vim/emacs/nano all came with the OS, and wouldn't require any additional support. He grinned, and the Cool Kids quickly dropped the subject.

I think I made a couple enemies that day.

We did standardise on Eclipse at one point, in the java team I worked in. It was so much easier to attain repeatability and consistency. There was one shithead who insisted on using his own tools, but he was a cunt. Every time he checked something in the line feeds were in a format inconsistent with all the other files, or something like that, and he consistently replaced all his tabs with three spaces. Fucking nightmare doing diffs. But the world is great and good because he got fired, but only 7 years too late.

And the fucker had no sense of fucking humour. He was blarting on in some design meeting about some great new trendy tool he'd found, and I ironically remarked: nah, I prefer COBOL. He followed the meeting up with a 6-page email about why I ought to change my attitude and start learning more modern languages and how being a COBOL programmer would limit my career prospects. The fact that we had never ever programmed a single byte of COBOL in the history of the company seemed not to have registered, so it never occurred to him that I might not have been serious.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

snoofle:
trtrwtf:
snoofle:
This is also a good way to let the boss know just exactly how much he depends on you.

This is a bad thing. Never be the one guy that they depend on - that's the guy you want to get rid of. You want to keep the guy who makes sure that there's at least two people around who can pick up on any piece of what he does.

A long time ago, I worked at a place with a grossly overloaded server which was never replaced due to shortsighted budgeting. As such, I ran lots of cron'd scripts to monitor and fix transaction logs, full file systems and so forth for numerous applications - on my local unix box (it was new, reliable, and everything was on a shared drive). At some points in the day, the cron schedules intersected and my box basically died for ten minutes until it caught up. Some suit saw me reading the paper at that moment and in spite of my explanation, chastised me for goofing off.

So, what, he saw your box blowing up and you reading the sports pages, and he said, "what are you doing reading the sports pages while your machine is blowing up?" And what did you do?

I immediately powered down the box and left for two weeks vacation. I did NOT answer my phone. By the time I came back, all the logs had filled, things were crashing or just wouldn't start. They were waiting for me to fix my sabotage. I showed them that I simply needed to start doing my job again. They never hassled me again.

By "hassled" you mean "paid", right? Or did you really blow up the company and keep your job? (Did you have pictures of the CEO in bed with a ten-year-old boy and a bassett hound, or how did you pull this off?)
Methinks you missed what I was trying to say...

I did mention that all the stuff was on a shared drive. Perhaps I should also have mentioned that others knew about it, but as I was always the first one in the office, I started everything up when I got in. Since I only had access to my box, that's where I ran everything.

When the suit came over, my box was so heavily loaded that it just stopped responding for about ten minutes. I explained to the guy that it was running scripts to clean up various things in production, that it would finish shortly, and that there was no way to use the machine until it did as it didn't respond (and I showed him).

The guy blew a gasket in my face anyway, so I just powered down, told my boss what happened and that I was going away for 2 weeks. My boss and several others knew about the scripts and how to run them, but they didn't want me too pissed off as I was the one coming in at 6AM and doing this for several teams, so they just let everything crash and burn (*) to illustrate that I was actually doing stuff.

*Aside: the problems were all manually fixable as they occurred; it's just that my scripts weren't preemptively fixing them before they became visible.

When I came back, the suit and 3 managers from the teams I was supporting were all there. They backed me up when I showed him that even though I was just sitting there, that my computer was working quite diligently. Then the four of us pointed out that if we had a properly sized server, that this stuff could be run there and I would be free to work continuously.

The point finally got across, though we never did get the new server.

Never have I seen a bicycle go so fast in reverse.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
boog:
Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.
You joke, but a bunch of developers at a previous job pushed for something like this.
We had a Linux environment, so a few of us used vim, a few used emacs, a few used nano, and a number of Cool Kids used various text editors they found on the Internet. The Cool Kids tried to convince the lowly vim/emacs/nano crowd how much better their Internet-found text editors were, but the vim/emacs/nano crowd just ignored the noise and kept using what they wanted.

So at the next big developer meeting the Cool Kids raised the issue of how expensive it must be to support so many text editors, using that to push for some kind of mandate that all developers use the same text editor (one of their cool Internet-found options, of course).

I sat quietly, letting everyone bicker, until I saw one of the sysadmins shaking his head in disbelief. I told him (interrupting whichever Cool Kid was babbling at the time) not to worry, that vim/emacs/nano all came with the OS, and wouldn't require any additional support. He grinned, and the Cool Kids quickly dropped the subject.

I think I made a couple enemies that day.

We did standardise on Eclipse at one point, in the java team I worked in. It was so much easier to attain repeatability and consistency. There was one shithead who insisted on using his own tools, but he was a cunt. Every time he checked something in the line feeds were in a format inconsistent with all the other files, or something like that, and he consistently replaced all his tabs with three spaces. Fucking nightmare doing diffs. But the world is great and good because he got fired, but only 7 years too late.

And the fucker had no sense of fucking humour. He was blarting on in some design meeting about some great new trendy tool he'd found, and I ironically remarked: nah, I prefer COBOL. He followed the meeting up with a 6-page email about why I ought to change my attitude and start learning more modern languages and how being a COBOL programmer would limit my career prospects. The fact that we had never ever programmed a single byte of COBOL in the history of the company seemed not to have registered, so it never occurred to him that I might not have been serious.

Isn't there a flag to ignore whitespace differences in diff?

Matt Westwood · 2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Wha?:
Matt Westwood:
boog:
Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.
You joke, but a bunch of developers at a previous job pushed for something like this.
We had a Linux environment, so a few of us used vim, a few used emacs, a few used nano, and a number of Cool Kids used various text editors they found on the Internet. The Cool Kids tried to convince the lowly vim/emacs/nano crowd how much better their Internet-found text editors were, but the vim/emacs/nano crowd just ignored the noise and kept using what they wanted.

So at the next big developer meeting the Cool Kids raised the issue of how expensive it must be to support so many text editors, using that to push for some kind of mandate that all developers use the same text editor (one of their cool Internet-found options, of course).

I sat quietly, letting everyone bicker, until I saw one of the sysadmins shaking his head in disbelief. I told him (interrupting whichever Cool Kid was babbling at the time) not to worry, that vim/emacs/nano all came with the OS, and wouldn't require any additional support. He grinned, and the Cool Kids quickly dropped the subject.

I think I made a couple enemies that day.

We did standardise on Eclipse at one point, in the java team I worked in. It was so much easier to attain repeatability and consistency. There was one shithead who insisted on using his own tools, but he was a cunt. Every time he checked something in the line feeds were in a format inconsistent with all the other files, or something like that, and he consistently replaced all his tabs with three spaces. Fucking nightmare doing diffs. But the world is great and good because he got fired, but only 7 years too late.

And the fucker had no sense of fucking humour. He was blarting on in some design meeting about some great new trendy tool he'd found, and I ironically remarked: nah, I prefer COBOL. He followed the meeting up with a 6-page email about why I ought to change my attitude and start learning more modern languages and how being a COBOL programmer would limit my career prospects. The fact that we had never ever programmed a single byte of COBOL in the history of the company seemed not to have registered, so it never occurred to him that I might not have been serious.
Isn't there a flag to ignore whitespace differences in diff?

That's precisely the sort of stupid fucking bollocks pricks like him used to spout as an excuse. And it's fucking shit.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Dear Database Architect,

Educational Decree Number 595 is as follows.

"Gerald has been appointed to the post of Hogwarts High Inquisitor."

Sincerely, High Inquisitor Gerald

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Wha?:
Matt Westwood:
he consistently replaced all his tabs with three spaces. Fucking nightmare doing diffs.
Isn't there a flag to ignore whitespace differences in diff?

Yeah, but you have to actually know what you are doing instead of just copying everyone around you like a monkey. Besides, then there's nothing left to use to bitch about the nonconformist guy.

Tabs are TRWTF anyway.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

I though about K/V databases, but XML is more hardcore. Not to mention it is HIERARCHICAL. (pretend it's a buzzword of sorts)

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Directive 595 Part 4 "Enabling Archive log gives lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution. Disable Archive logging in all production databases ASAP!!"

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

I couldn't relax on a vacation not knowing every day that my data was okay. Some responsibilities transcend the work/home boundary. This is one of them. If I were a Database Architect and my data was getting hosed such that the whole company had to go to the mattresses in the war room for four days and I wasn't there, I would be ashamed and offer my resignation.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Directive 595 Part 4:

Psych! Now go back and undo the previous 3 parts.

CAPTCHA jumentum: A Jumbled Momentum.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Wha?:
Matt Westwood:
boog:
Matt Westwood:
Directive no. 666: To ensure a consistent look-and-feel, the same programming tool is to be used by all programmers. That programming tool is to be Notepad, because it comes free with your computer.
You joke, but a bunch of developers at a previous job pushed for something like this.
We had a Linux environment, so a few of us used vim, a few used emacs, a few used nano, and a number of Cool Kids used various text editors they found on the Internet. The Cool Kids tried to convince the lowly vim/emacs/nano crowd how much better their Internet-found text editors were, but the vim/emacs/nano crowd just ignored the noise and kept using what they wanted.

So at the next big developer meeting the Cool Kids raised the issue of how expensive it must be to support so many text editors, using that to push for some kind of mandate that all developers use the same text editor (one of their cool Internet-found options, of course).

I sat quietly, letting everyone bicker, until I saw one of the sysadmins shaking his head in disbelief. I told him (interrupting whichever Cool Kid was babbling at the time) not to worry, that vim/emacs/nano all came with the OS, and wouldn't require any additional support. He grinned, and the Cool Kids quickly dropped the subject.

I think I made a couple enemies that day.

We did standardise on Eclipse at one point, in the java team I worked in. It was so much easier to attain repeatability and consistency. There was one shithead who insisted on using his own tools, but he was a cunt. Every time he checked something in the line feeds were in a format inconsistent with all the other files, or something like that, and he consistently replaced all his tabs with three spaces. Fucking nightmare doing diffs. But the world is great and good because he got fired, but only 7 years too late.

And the fucker had no sense of fucking humour. He was blarting on in some design meeting about some great new trendy tool he'd found, and I ironically remarked: nah, I prefer COBOL. He followed the meeting up with a 6-page email about why I ought to change my attitude and start learning more modern languages and how being a COBOL programmer would limit my career prospects. The fact that we had never ever programmed a single byte of COBOL in the history of the company seemed not to have registered, so it never occurred to him that I might not have been serious.
Isn't there a flag to ignore whitespace differences in diff?

White spaces are important, if you're programming in Python. Any one will tell you that.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Ptorq:
The only thing about this that makes me want to call foul is management firing the guy actually responsible for the mess instead of Daniel, who had the temerity to be on vacation during it.

I don't know about companies at other places, but usually having long vacation implies travelling aboard and won't listen to phone calls on the way. As long as he assigned his works to other staffs properly, this should be accepted. Also, Daniel started his vacation 3 days BEFORE the disaster is found, so in no way you can reasonably blame him for being in vacation while the company have trouble.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

Correstion: I read it again, and the incident should be found 11 days after Daniel's vacation started.

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

BentFranklin:
I couldn't relax on a vacation not knowing every day that my data was okay. Some responsibilities transcend the work/home boundary. This is one of them. If I were a Database Architect and my data was getting hosed such that the whole company had to go to the mattresses in the war room for four days and I wasn't there, I would be ashamed and offer my resignation.

You are such a wuss. The only way to redeem your honor (and the honor of your family) after such a disaster is to commit harakiri. You have embarrassed the company and its clients. Not to mention the boss that works way too much, just to put food on his family...

2011-11-29 Reply Admin

I wonder if he still thought that it would've worked if he didn't get that one character wrong.

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Thomas Kyte:
Funny - here is evidence that this is pretty much a verbatim true story:
http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/apex/f?p=100:11:0::::P11_QUESTION_ID:2143974700346554115#2970874300346318049

Nine months ago - it was posted there while it was still progressing...

Are you the real deal or just another internet pervert?

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Wha?:
Isn't there a flag to ignore whitespace differences in diff?

That's precisely the sort of stupid fucking bollocks pricks like him used to spout as an excuse. And it's fucking shit.

You should learn software you using, if you wanna stay up with young blood.

There is option in diff that allow to ignore whitespaces.

random_garbage · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Thomas Kyte:
Funny - here is evidence that this is pretty much a verbatim true story:
http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/apex/f?p=100:11:0::::P11_QUESTION_ID:2143974700346554115#2970874300346318049

Nine months ago - it was posted there while it was still progressing...

Mr "Ask Tom" Kyte reads this site? You're my hero, man! If there's one source I look to for learning how databases think, it's AskTom... So glad to see you here! (Note to self: must learn to contain hero worship.)

Scarlet Manuka · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

syskill:
Taki:
Directive 595 Part 4 is as follows.
"Typed database columns give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please change all database columns to type VARCHAR2(4000).

That was my guess too.

Mine too. :)

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Jay:
And some people think it's great fun to feed the trolls. Just like some people enjoy feeding the monkeys at the zoo: they find it entertaining to watch them run around, scream, and throw feces.

Yeah, if only we could all be above the fray like you are. Thank Lord Jesus Tebow Christ in HaaayyyAVANNNN above therez brillant mudderphochahs like you to set all our all azzes straight. ABloodyFuckinMen.

P.S. GodNJeezuszNBooda can kiss m' butt.

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Jay:
And some people think it's great fun to feed the trolls. Just like some people enjoy feeding the monkeys at the zoo: they find it entertaining to watch them run around, scream, and throw feces.

You say that like it's a bad thing. Waiting for the point...

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Lick My Love Log:
Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.
Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?

Hortie, love, are you a troll or pig-buggering idiot?

Oh, leave him / her be, Hortie's a sweetie.

YES! Since your posts here have value of 0.05 * nagesh I will act accordingly. GO INTERNET YAY!

(FUCK I HOPE HUMAN RACE KILL ITSELF SOON!!!) GO NULULEAR WAR YES!

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

BentFranklin:
I couldn't relax on a vacation not knowing every day that my data was okay. Some responsibilities transcend the work/home boundary. This is one of them. If I were a Database Architect and my data was getting hosed such that the whole company had to go to the mattresses in the war room for four days and I wasn't there, I would be ashamed and offer my resignation.

Look forward to an early burnout, and then you won't be of any use to yourself and your family, and of no use to less important entities like your company. Every employee not only has the right to a holiday, the company must force them if necessary to take an undisturbed holiday, so they come home fresh and do good work again.

If the company can't send him on holiday safely, then his manager has a problem and should be fired. Which happened in this case.

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

ParkinT:
Directive 595 Part 4. "Databases and database languages are slow give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution"
From this point forward, all data will be in XML format. It is more enterprise-y

CSV, Shirley?

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Did the company not have daily backup files of their databases? They could have undone Gerald's actions quickly by restoring a backup file instead of having to manually run SQL commands for four days.

Actually, this indicates the real WTF in the story: the Chief Architect can destroy production databases with little to no oversight.

The poop of DOOM · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

JayC:
ParkinT:
Directive 595 Part 4. "Databases and database languages are slow give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution"
From this point forward, all data will be in XML format. It is more enterprise-y

People have apparently done just that.

Askmet sucks.

Yup, there's even an entire CMS which stores everything as XML and doesn't use a real database. Gentlemen, I present you: http://www.sitenote.net

QJo · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

gnasher729:
BentFranklin:
I couldn't relax on a vacation not knowing every day that my data was okay. Some responsibilities transcend the work/home boundary. This is one of them. If I were a Database Architect and my data was getting hosed such that the whole company had to go to the mattresses in the war room for four days and I wasn't there, I would be ashamed and offer my resignation.
Look forward to an early burnout, and then you won't be of any use to yourself and your family, and of no use to less important entities like your company. Every employee not only has the right to a holiday, the company must force them if necessary to take an undisturbed holiday, so they come home fresh and do good work again.
If the company can't send him on holiday safely, then his manager has a problem and should be fired. Which happened in this case.

Oh, get real! Most people in industry don't take the holidays they are offered as it is. Sixty hour weeks are commonplace. You are expected to work from home in the evenings and weekends, and going away on vacations is a thing of the very distant past. If you haven't got the commitment to do a job of work, there are plenty out there who will fill your lazy boots. You should be the one to be fired, and your pension revoked if you have one, for your shocking display of anti-industrial discontent. In fact, if I had my way you'd be arrested and punished for agitation.

The poop of DOOM · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

frits:
Zylon:
indispensable
There's no such thing.

Yes, there is. It's called a Pez indispenser.

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Finally, a DailyWTF made our dick moves site!

Excuse the spammy link, but vote it up please. http://dkmvs.com/posts/476

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Finally, a DailyWTF made our dick moves site!

Excuse the spammy link, but vote it up please. http://dkmvs.com/posts/476

The poop of DOOM · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

Zylon:
trtrwtf:
This is a bad thing. Never be the one guy that they depend on - that's the guy you want to get rid of. You want to keep the guy who makes sure that there's at least two people around who can pick up on any piece of what he does.
Yeahhh, that only works in shops where there's enough manpower to make that happen. In smaller shops, the managers need to know who's indispensable for what and to not fuck with them.
Ick, I fed a troll.

Not quite so. At my previous job, we were a 4-headed web dev. company. I was the only dev. there, yet the amount of harrassment and counter-productive actions (like, for no good reason, suddenly smashing chairs into the desks) from the boss clearly showed he didn't realize how indispensible his single dev. was

The poop of DOOM · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Lick My Love Log:
Hortical:
Daniel should not have questioned the Chief Architect as no business can run with subordinates always contradicting superiors and disobeying directives. If you think it was okay for employees to act this way, or to quit when they don't appreciate an order they've received, you must know nothing about business. You get paid to do your job, not hold technical debates to satisfy your own ego.
Further, Daniel should have been immediately fired for being away from the company while it was in crisis. And why wasn't he there to offer his advice to the Chief Architect when it would have prevented this disaster?

Hortie, love, are you a troll or pig-buggering idiot?

Why choose?

Who said it's a choice?

2011-11-30 Reply Admin

The poop of DOOM:
frits:
dkf:
Taki:
Directive 595 Part 4 is as follows.
"Typed database columns give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, inhibit the use of the database acting as a service to applications and make it an inhibitor to evolution."

As such, please change all database columns to type VARCHAR2(4000).
Or convert the database to SQLite.
Or Amazon SimpleDB.
Or MongoDB

Or MySQL .. or worse : Access

QJo · 2011-11-30 Reply Admin

QJo:
gnasher729:
BentFranklin:
I couldn't relax on a vacation not knowing every day that my data was okay. Some responsibilities transcend the work/home boundary. This is one of them. If I were a Database Architect and my data was getting hosed such that the whole company had to go to the mattresses in the war room for four days and I wasn't there, I would be ashamed and offer my resignation.
Look forward to an early burnout, and then you won't be of any use to yourself and your family, and of no use to less important entities like your company. Every employee not only has the right to a holiday, the company must force them if necessary to take an undisturbed holiday, so they come home fresh and do good work again.
If the company can't send him on holiday safely, then his manager has a problem and should be fired. Which happened in this case.

Oh, get real! Most people in industry don't take the holidays they are offered as it is. Sixty hour weeks are commonplace. You are expected to work from home in the evenings and weekends, and going away on vacations is a thing of the very distant past. If you haven't got the commitment to do a job of work, there are plenty out there who will fill your lazy boots. You should be the one to be fired, and your pension revoked if you have one, for your shocking display of anti-industrial discontent. In fact, if I had my way you'd be arrested and punished for agitation.

Oh yes, and add to this the fact that if the employee is allowed to spend two weeks away from the desk, he will have completely forgotten how to do his job, in fact will have forgotten where his job is. Then who's no use to the company?

Directive 595

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