• (cs) in reply to dmitriy
    dmitriy:
    lizardfoot:

    This WTF is much easier on the goggles if you listen to this while reading.

    http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/themes/ateam.mp3


    I haven't seen the TV series, but that is a cool theme.
    <font size="5">I</font>'ve only seen one show: the whole gang of them get shot, none of them die and they all end up in the same hospital room joking back and forth about various personal foibles.  They are all released at the end of the show.


  • tim (unregistered)
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    -- decrease the display size of some of the embedded demonstration videos.



    Fool.

    Just stand further away from the monitor - things will appear smaller. Don't these people know anything?
  • (cs) in reply to tim
    Anonymous:
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    -- decrease the display size of some of the embedded demonstration videos.



    Fool.

    Just stand further away from the monitor - things will appear smaller. Don't these people know anything?

    I vote for resetting the monitor resolution ...

  • sum yung guy (unregistered) in reply to tim

    I bet the A Team is revered because they work longer hours than everyone else... but the only reason they have to pull all-nighters is that they are always struggling to get their shit together.

  • Kiss me, I'm Polish (unregistered) in reply to tim
    Anonymous:
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    -- decrease the display size of some of the embedded demonstration videos.



    Fool.

    Just stand further away from the monitor - things will appear smaller. Don't these people know anything?
    The wtf here is (haha, someone said it finally) - decrease the display size. It's as bad as putting a 1024x768 jpeg image into a box of 60x50 (gotta love those height and width properties of the <img> tag) and hoping things will run smoothly.
    You don't decrease the display size. You resize the video, Murdock.

    Does anyone remember Riptide? That was another action series with a boat, a robot, a handsome guy and a geek. I remember I wanted the geek to die. Now I'm him, what a revenge.
  • (cs)

    so the WTF is that they were embedding JAVA script in HTML... duh, they should've used C# script or something... sheezzz... these people

  • mrwoo (unregistered) in reply to John Bigboote

    John Bigboote:
    Ford351-4V:
    Buck Murdock?


    No, Buck Murdock.

    Over Macho Grande?

    I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande. Those wounds run pretty deep.

  • (cs) in reply to sum yung guy

    Anonymous:
    I bet the A Team is revered because they work longer hours than everyone else... but the only reason they have to pull all-nighters is that they are always struggling to get their shit together.

    Exactly what I was thinking. 

    The worst thing about this situation is that the boss thinks the A-Team is the sh*t, because they are working all the time.  When you suggest something like, say, a working solution that is proactive rather than reactive, they look at it and scoff because they actually think they are the facade they've created with their constant inane b*llsh*t.  They'll never be replaced because the boss loves them and thinks he is making money off of them, and nothing will ever be done to remedy the situation because they can't see the benifit if the affects aren't immediate.  The only hope is that they have enough energy at the end of the day to further their knowledge of the technologies they're using.

  • adawdwadadw (unregistered)

    I wish someone would make a Viagra for premature optimization.

  • (cs)

    I can usually see how a WTF got started - you know, some innocent but highly suspect piece of code that just got added to until eventually it got out of hand.  But this.  There's no excuse for that stuff.  Not ever.

  • TheTrav (unregistered) in reply to R.Flowers
    R.Flowers:
    No XML anywhere? 


    Wouldn't html qualify as xml?
  • (cs) in reply to TheTrav
    Anonymous:
    R.Flowers:
    No XML anywhere? 


    Wouldn't html qualify as xml?


    No... HTML and XML both descend from SGML.
    XHTML descends from XML, but was designed to be "as much like HTML as possible."

                SGML
    / \
    XML HTML
    |
    XHTML
  • (cs) in reply to Jeff S
    Jeff S:
    Great one, Alex!  I'm all for putting as much into your database as possible to keep your applicaiton flexible, but this is out of control.  WTF++ !

    Okay, I'm pretty sure you meant to increment that before you used it. Does no-one ever unit test their posting?
  • Runtime Error (unregistered) in reply to Maurits
    Maurits:
    Anonymous:
    R.Flowers:
    No XML anywhere? 


    Wouldn't html qualify as xml?


    No... HTML and XML both descend from SGML.
    XHTML descends from XML, but was designed to be "as much like HTML as possible."

                SGML
    / \
    XML HTML
    |
    XHTML


    Its just as well, I'm fairly sure that adding XML to the mix would cause their server to collapse into a singularity and kill us all.

  • (cs) in reply to adawdwadadw

    Anonymous:
    I wish someone would make a Viagra for premature optimization.

    God, please no. People are already far too horny for premature optimization. What we really need is some kind of Ritalin, or maybe a gun to the head.

    Failing that, we could just start sending out corporate memos that say stuff like "To make code perform faster, stop breathing."

  • (cs) in reply to Apoch
    Apoch:
    Anonymous:
    I wish someone would make a Viagra for premature optimization.

    God, please no. People are already far too horny for premature optimization. What we really need is some kind of Ritalin, or maybe a gun to the head.

    Failing that, we could just start sending out corporate memos that say stuff like "To make code perform faster, stop breathing."


    No, that would be counterproductive.  Waiting with bated breath will make the code run more slowly.  Watched pot and all that.

    Sincerely,

    Gene Wirchenko

  • (cs) in reply to Calvin Spealman

    Anonymous:
    I am a big fan of SCID, but this is definately not what I had in mind!

    I read about SCID, and, in the words of a famous character who is both strong and bad: my brain asplode.

    Then I read a little further about a guy, who despite thinking JavaML is a good idea--in fact, he invented it--nevertheless was able to get a Ph.D. in Computer Science, which makes me glad I never got a Ph.D. in Computer Science.  If I had, I'd probably be here right now typing "hey, let's re-do the entire Interweb as an XML database programmed in LispBOL (a combination of Lisp and COBOL, combining the brevity of COBOL with the clarity of LISP), delivered by a server farm of Intel-based Macs running Linux!"

    Except it wouldn't be in quotes, and I'd be expecting you to take me seriously.

    Eww.  I feel dirty just thinking about it.  I'm going to go take a shower now. 

  • Templeton Peck (unregistered) in reply to synesthetia

    There is nothing wrong with any of this, it is faster and far easier to maintain then duplicating the video tag elsewhere. Fuck you all and your layer upon layer pattern tested business logic/ui logic bullshit, long live short fast terse code like this.
    the rebellion continues, all you architects will be the first against the wall/whiteboard.

  • (cs)

    Ohh, my very first crush was on Murdock.  <FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #a0a0a4">You better believe I'd like to get imbedded with that man. Buck Murdock?? Damn right I would.   </FONT>

    <FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #a0a0a4">rowr. [8o|]</FONT>

  • Carfield Yim (unregistered)

    If I were Josh, I will continue with: "If I like to change link text from [info] to something else later, I need to update database again... isn't it sound silly?"

  • Keith (unregistered) in reply to Hannibal
    Anonymous:
    I love it when a plan comes together.


    haha you stole my post...
  • Tristan (unregistered)

    The title for this post could have been embed with the enemy
    ;-)

  • (cs) in reply to adawdwadadw

    Anonymous:
    I wish someone would make a Viagra for premature optimization.

    <FONT face=Georgia>And have a geeky dude with a boner writing your code? Are you insane? [<:o)]</FONT>

  • Hansiola (unregistered) in reply to ParkinT
    ParkinT:

    If DEBUGGING is the process of removing errors,
    then PROGRAMMING must be the process of inserting them !

     

    The BUG by Ellen Ullman?

  • nick chan (unregistered)

    hey i love the topic title

  • piersy (unregistered) in reply to mrsticks1982
    mrsticks1982:
    ParkinT:

    dmitriy:
    lizardfoot:

    This WTF is much easier on the goggles if you listen to this while reading.

    http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/themes/ateam.mp3


    I haven't seen the TV series, but that is a cool theme.

    That was the best part of the entire series.

    Bad acting, poorly constructed stoies, sloppy special effects and (did I mention?) bad acting.

    {Ooops, I think I have revealed my age}

     

    you forgot to mention that they NEVER SHOT or ACTUALLY HIT ANYONE,

    At least the Dukes of Hazzard shot flaming arrows at things!



    Actually, in the 'back to vietnam' episodes they shot little yellow people by the boatload. Maybe the vietnamese should have built more cabbage barns with hoovers in, they'd ahve been shot less.
  • nick chan (unregistered) in reply to rbriem

    embed another activeX object that has ability to reset monitor resolution

  • Ben (unregistered) in reply to just me
    Anonymous:

    Anonymous:

    Guess there are some things to be said about optimalization ;)

    talk about a WTF...

    Lol, WTF the WTF!

    As far as I am aware, optimalization doesn't exist in the English language. Maybe you were looking for optimisation, or even optimization?

    Whether you choose the British English version with the 's', or the American English (aka English v1.1) version with the 'z', really depends on what floats your boat!

    The process of making something optimal, or finding the optimum is through optimisation.

    You may consider that an optima of lexical possibilities!

    :D

  • zamies (unregistered) in reply to januarys

    Templeton Peck wrote:

    "here is nothing wrong with any of this, it is faster and far easier to maintain then duplicating the video tag elsewhere. Fuck you all and your layer upon layer pattern tested business logic/ui logic bullshit, long live short fast terse code like this.
    the rebellion continues, all you architects will be the first against the wall/whiteboard.
    "

    I hope he is joking, OrElse he is a wannabe A-team member....

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The horror... the horror....

  • Welcome To The Machine (unregistered) in reply to piersy
    Anonymous:
    mrsticks1982:
    ParkinT:

    dmitriy:
    lizardfoot:

    This WTF is much easier on the goggles if you listen to this while reading.

    http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/themes/ateam.mp3


    I haven't seen the TV series, but that is a cool theme.

    That was the best part of the entire series.

    Bad acting, poorly constructed stoies, sloppy special effects and (did I mention?) bad acting.

    {Ooops, I think I have revealed my age}

     

    you forgot to mention that they NEVER SHOT or ACTUALLY HIT ANYONE,

    At least the Dukes of Hazzard shot flaming arrows at things!



    Actually, in the 'back to vietnam' episodes they shot little yellow people by the boatload. Maybe the vietnamese should have built more cabbage barns with hoovers in, they'd ahve been shot less.

    Although they rarely shot people, Face frequently punched people in the face and then complained that his hand hurt. People generally didn't mess when they encountered BA (did you know he's a church minister!?!).

  • (cs) in reply to zamies
    Anonymous:
    Templeton Peck wrote:

    "here is nothing wrong with any of this, it is faster and far easier to maintain then duplicating the video tag elsewhere. Fuck you all and your layer upon layer pattern tested business logic/ui logic bullshit, long live short fast terse code like this.
    the rebellion continues, all you architects will be the first against the wall/whiteboard.
    "

    I hope he is joking, OrElse he is a wannabe A-team member....

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The horror... the horror....

    I suppose that trying to evangelize him into MVC would be a loss of time :)

  • (cs) in reply to Enric Naval

    I think this is a prime example of the fact that The Web is such a kludgy kollektion of languages that somehow magically work together, even if you mix them at their respective atomic levels!

    It's fantastic!

  • SpoonMeiser (unregistered) in reply to sammybaby
    sammybaby:

    What? Nobody willing to say, "The real WTF here is..."

    Face it - they can't all be this good.

    I mean, bad.



    You don't want to lock these guys in the lab while you decide what you're going to do with them; they'll modify the code in an effort to escape.
  • Greg Webb (unregistered)

    Hang on a mo, isn't that also very likely susceptible to SQL Injection attacks? No obvious filtering in there...


  • (cs) in reply to Ben
    Anonymous:
    Whether you choose the British English version with the 's', or the American English (aka English v1.1) version with the 'z', really depends on what floats your boat!

    Not just American English - as any Colin Dexter fan would tell you, the '-ize' variants are the preferred spelling at Oxford (both the dictionary and the archaic educational institution).

    Although why we haven't ended up with '-izms' I don't know.

  • (cs) in reply to mrprogguy
    mrprogguy:
    ..."let's re-do the entire Interweb as an XML database programmed in LispBOL (a combination of Lisp and COBOL, combining the brevity of COBOL with the clarity of LISP)"


    So that'd be Common Lisp then? *ducks & runs*

  • (cs) in reply to ParkinT
    ParkinT:
    A committee is defined as:

     A group of people who individually can do nothing and

    Collectively agree nothing can be done.



    Hmm... In general they can not agree even on that.
    At least not before the third meeting.
  • The 2-Belo (unregistered)

    In 2005, a crack application programming unit was sent on sabbatical by a corporate board of directors for a build they didn't commit.

    These men promptly escaped a maximum security server farm to the Silicon Valley underground.

    Today, still wanted by Microsoft, they survive as coders of fortune.

    If you have a web app,

    if no one else can help,

    and if you can find them...

    maybe you can hire...

    the A-Team.

    BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

  • LocalJoost (unregistered) in reply to R.Flowers

    Gotta admit - did something like it... although the HTML code was generated in a view, so updating 'only' requires and update of the view definition. It was the only way to get a rather peculiar reporting system to accept my custom report :$

  • Tragomaskhalos (unregistered)
    Alex Papadimoulis:

    <FONT color=#0000ff>Josh</FONT>: Javascript in a SQL Query? Seriously?
    <FONT color=#ff0000>Murdock</FONT>: What's wrong with that? It's more efficient that way.

    Ah yes, the famous bogus "efficiency" argument. Never prioritised against other little things like maintainability or basic common sense, never justified with actual metrics. The unmistakeable shibboleth of the pseudo-guru.

     

  • (cs) in reply to LocalJoost
    Anonymous:
    Gotta admit - did something like it... although the HTML code was generated in a view, so updating 'only' requires and update of the view definition. It was the only way to get a rather peculiar reporting system to accept my custom report :$


    Well, since a view can be seen as "source" rather than "data", it's not half as bad. But it's not good, anyway. So what? If this is your only possibility to solve your problem, you are hardly to blame.
  • Borborygmos (unregistered)

    I don't see what's wrong with that...

  • Dave (unregistered) in reply to Borborygmos

    Give the guy who wrote this code a break, he just got out of the hospital. He had a particle of brain embedded in his skull. Luckily they were able to remove it using a magnifying glass and tweezers.

     

  • Ben (unregistered) in reply to The 2-Belo
    Anonymous:

    In 2005, a crack application programming unit was sent on sabbatical by a corporate board of directors for a build they didn't commit.

    These men promptly escaped a maximum security server farm to the Silicon Valley underground.

    Today, still wanted by Microsoft, they survive as coders of fortune.

    If you have a web app,

    if no one else can help,

    and if you can find them...

    maybe you can hire...

    the A-Team.

    BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

    Genius. That's made my day.

  • (cs) in reply to Runtime Error
    Anonymous:
    Maurits:
    Anonymous:
    R.Flowers:
    No XML anywhere? 


    Wouldn't html qualify as xml?


    No... HTML and XML both descend from SGML.
    XHTML descends from XML, but was designed to be "as much like HTML as possible."

                SGML
    / \
    XML HTML
    |
    XHTML



    Its just as well, I'm fairly sure that adding XML to the mix would cause their server to collapse into a singularity and kill us all.

    Now THAT is funny!  {<FONT size=1>And I like your creative username</FONT>}

  • (cs) in reply to mrprogguy
    mrprogguy:

    Anonymous:
    I am a big fan of SCID, but this is definately not what I had in mind!

    I read about SCID, and, in the words of a famous character who is both strong and bad: my brain asplode.

    Then I read a little further about a guy, who despite thinking JavaML is a good idea--in fact, he invented it--nevertheless was able to get a Ph.D. in Computer Science, which makes me glad I never got a Ph.D. in Computer Science.  If I had, I'd probably be here right now typing "hey, let's re-do the entire Interweb as an XML database programmed in LispBOL (a combination of Lisp and COBOL, combining the brevity of COBOL with the clarity of LISP), delivered by a server farm of Intel-based Macs running Linux!"

    Except it wouldn't be in quotes, and I'd be expecting you to take me seriously.

    Eww.  I feel dirty just thinking about it.  I'm going to go take a shower now. 

    Many years ago, I devised a project to build a "simpler" database and associated query language.  There are many things about SQL that make it 'less than perfect' (a subject all on its own).  My idea was small, light, maybe based on a set of text files (this was way, way back before XML).

    My point (thanks for reading this far) is that I wanted to market it as Pretty Rigid Query Language  (pronounced PreQuel) !

  • (cs) in reply to LocalJoost
    Anonymous:
    Gotta admit - did something like it... although the HTML code was generated in a view, so updating 'only' requires and update of the view definition. It was the only way to get a rather peculiar reporting system to accept my custom report :$


    There is no problem with storing presentation DATA in the database, the problem is storing presentation CODE in the database.

    If there was simply a table that stored each video, with columns for "Default width" and "Default Height" and whatever else, then there is no issue with that, and in fact it's a good idea.  The issue is storing HTML and even worse, JavaScript itself in the table. 

    It's like, instead of having a column in a table to record my date of birth as a simple DateTime, with which the presentation layer can do whatever it wants, instead we have a column that stores:

    "Jeff was born on December 19th, in the year of 1972.  It was a great day for everyone."


  • Random Guy (unregistered) in reply to Jeff S

    Speaking of "sucka"...do you remember that movie where Eddie Murphy fights that lady and the lady is like "Is that all you got, sucka?" That was an interesting movie.

  • (cs) in reply to Ben
    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:

    In 2005, a crack application programming unit was sent on sabbatical by a corporate board of directors for a build they didn't commit.

    These men promptly escaped a maximum security server farm to the Silicon Valley underground.

    Today, still wanted by Microsoft, they survive as coders of fortune.

    If you have a web app,

    if no one else can help,

    and if you can find them...

    maybe you can hire...

    the A-Team.

    BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

    Genius. That's made my day.


    Gotta second that, that was actually really funny :)

  • (cs) in reply to impslayer
    impslayer:
    Anonymous:
    Anonymous:

    In 2005, a crack application programming unit was sent on sabbatical by a corporate board of directors for a build they didn't commit.

    These men promptly escaped a maximum security server farm to the Silicon Valley underground.

    Today, still wanted by Microsoft, they survive as coders of fortune.

    If you have a web app,

    if no one else can help,

    and if you can find them...

    maybe you can hire...

    the A-Team.

    BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

    Genius. That's made my day.


    Gotta second that, that was actually really funny :)



    Thank you, that was great!  It's threads like this one that make this a great site, not the ones were we nitpit over spelling, the personal interpretatiosn of the "tone" of posts, whether someone is the "real WTF", who is "first!" and so on.

    Great thread!

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