• Joe (unregistered) in reply to Vidar

    Holy Carp dude, I had the same thing happen when I was working at an ISP in the mid-90s. I don't suppose you worked at Twister??? I liked the guy who wanted a refund on his free internet :) I have more bizzare stories from the 3 months I worked for Twister than from almost anywhere else I've worked.

    Captcha: tristique - a mystic triscuit.

  • Murphy (unregistered) in reply to ricecake
    ricecake:
    Muphry's Law strikes again!

    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>

  • acsi (unregistered)
    What is the technical term for a grammar nazi whose corrections are all incorrect?
    It's 'Incorrect'.
  • Dan (unregistered) in reply to JamesCurran
    JamesCurran:
    Actually, I think before Nick W criticizes Jane he should learn what the actual problem was.

    When Word tries to open a file that's not a Word document, it treats it as text. However, an XLS file, being a binary format, has many bytes which are not printable characters. Most fonts map these it little black squares. That is what the "little boxes" she is seeing are, not sheetsheet cells.

    Except that he showed her how to navigate to it the first time, and she found it. If this were in Word, unless she had changed the "file type" drop-down to "all files" or typed the name in manually in spite of the file's absence (both not likely for someone who can only use Word), she would not have seen it at all. So it had to have been Explorer the first time, and the "little boxes" really were the Excel cells.

  • Dan (unregistered) in reply to Charles Manson
    Charles Manson:
    Windoze is just not intuitive. I used to get support calls from my parents and grandparents all the time. Now when they get a new computer, the first thing I do is wipe the hard drive and install Ubuntu. Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.

    Well after I fixed my mom's computer with a sledge hammer, NOBODY has called me for support!

  • (cs) in reply to Old Timer
    Old Timer:
    What is not forgivable, however, is how this person fails to comprehend how to navigate to a file OUTSIDE of the program. Cripes.

    Actually, I've seen this frequently with non-computer literate folks who have been using computers for a long time. This was the way to open a file back in the DOS, pre-Windows, WordPerfect 5.1 (and older) days. And once people find a way that works, they rarely change their habits (and usually computer savvy folks don't tell them about this sort of thing because it usually isn't a problem).

    I will second this. I am a network admin with ~80 users. Many people don't know what My Computer is for. Most people here open all their documents through Word or Excel.

  • Downfall (unregistered)

    I am a lawyer at a firm with about a hundred other lawyers. We have two tech guys, but they primarily take care of the servers and other mysterious things. The other lawyers think I am a tech genius, because I taught them about ALT-TAB and Word's "change case" feature.

    I am not kidding.

  • blah (unregistered) in reply to Charles Manson
    Charles Manson:
    the real wtf fool:
    evilspoons:
    What is not forgivable, however, is how this person fails to comprehend how to navigate to a file OUTSIDE of the program. Cripes.
    Why do you think that using windows explorer should be second nature to everybody? I'd say the WTF here is that management weren't training their non-IT staff how to use computers.
    Windoze is just not intuitive. I used to get support calls from my parents and grandparents all the time. Now when they get a new computer, the first thing I do is wipe the hard drive and install Ubuntu. Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.
    TopC0d3r, is that Hugh?
  • Derp (unregistered) in reply to Murphy
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Muphry's Law strikes again!

    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>

    Nope, ur dumb :D

  • Techie (unregistered) in reply to Downfall

    We have no trouble believing this about lawyers.

  • Techie (unregistered) in reply to Downfall
    Downfall:
    I am a lawyer at a firm with about a hundred other lawyers. We have two tech guys, but they primarily take care of the servers and other mysterious things. The other lawyers think I am a tech genius, because I taught them about ALT-TAB and Word's "change case" feature.

    I am not kidding.

    We have no trouble believing this about lawyers.

  • blah (unregistered) in reply to Murphy
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Muphry's Law strikes again!

    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>

    Funny thing is, u're trolling, but ur all wrong:

    It's actually McKean's Law.

  • benjamin (unregistered)

    For what it's worth, I'd have called the laptop LED guy a blowhard up until I bought my most recent case. Both the power and the HD activity lights are so bright that they could blind an astronaut in near Earth orbit. I usually don't care about things like that, but when a single LED is all you need to illuminate a room you find yourself thinking that it's just a bit much.

    A minute and some gaffer's tape later, it's all better.

  • ThingGuy McGuyThing (unregistered) in reply to benjamin
    benjamin:
    For what it's worth, I'd have called the laptop LED guy a blowhard up until I bought my most recent case. Both the power and the HD activity lights are so bright that they could blind an astronaut in near Earth orbit. I usually don't care about things like that, but when a single LED is all you need to illuminate a room you find yourself thinking that it's just a bit much.

    A minute and some gaffer's tape later, it's all better.

    Absolutely true. I blame the rapid reduction in the price of blue LEDs - all of a sudden everyone's using them. I bought a wireless PS2 controller just as the blue LEDs came down in price, and could barely even play with the sheer brightness of the thing. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in gaming in a poorly-lit basement, where a source of brightness right in front of your face can be a bit distracting.

  • Gravel Astronaut (unregistered) in reply to Derp
    Derp:
    Murphy:
    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>
    Nope, ur dumb :D
    For crying out loud, there's even a link there. I don't think we can call this guy a troll, because trolls are supposed to cleverly entice us normal people on some silly argument, and he can be called anything but clever.
  • Testy McTesterson (unregistered) in reply to Charles Manson
    Charles Manson:
    Windoze is just not intuitive. I used to get support calls from my parents and grandparents all the time. Now when they get a new computer, the first thing I do is wipe the hard drive and install Ubuntu. Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.

    I suppose eliminating support calls by rendering their computer unusable is one way to do it...

  • (cs) in reply to D. Travis North
    D. Travis North:
    When I worked at the help desk at my university, we had a similar issue. Guy called up saying he couldn't get his e-mail (we had a dial-in system), all he heard was "static". I went through procedures to check the settings on his modem to which he cut me off: "What modem?". Trying to maintain composure, I took the high road and explained that he could probably get a decent modem from the local CompUSA for fairly cheap. He thanked me and, presumably, went directly to the CompUSA. A few hours later, he called back because he couldn't figure out what to do with the modem. He had an external model, so started to tell him how to connect it to his computer - and again he cut me off: "I don't have a computer...". Again, trying to maintain composure, I asked him how he expected to get his e-mail. He explained that he thought some nice undergraduate would read his e-mail to him over the phone.

    We laugh about it to this day.

    Hey, that happened at my school, too! And at my wife's! And at this guy's school:

    http://74.125.77.132/search?q=cache:1yVzAKvVTEMJ:www.richardneill.org/humour.php

  • (cs) in reply to Gravel Astronaut
    Gravel Astronaut:
    Derp:
    Murphy:
    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>
    Nope, ur dumb :D
    For crying out loud, there's even a link there. I don't think we can call this guy a troll, because trolls are supposed to cleverly entice us normal people on some silly argument, and he can be called anything but clever.

    Er, did you notice that he even signed off with the word troll?

  • (cs) in reply to Capt. Obvious
    Capt. Obvious:
    What is the technical term for a grammar nazi whose corrections are all incorrect?

    Grammar Klink?

  • Bus Driver (unregistered) in reply to pjt33
    pjt33:
    RRP:
    I guess the Dell help line really does have a reason for the first question they ask: "Is the computer plugged in?"
    In the I.T. Crowd you'll notice that it's the backup question to be asked when "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" doesn't resolve the problem.

    Soemtimes it's a trained response. Some years ago I worked as a bus driver. Any time a driver would radio in a mechanical problem, the response was: "Try shutting down the bus, and then starting it again". The operatator woudl usually come back with "Nope, still got the same problem". The Despatcher: "Shut down again. Take the key out. Blow on it. Wipe it on your shirt. Then try starting again". One day, an operator rang with a burst tire, coordinator: "Have you tried a shutdown?"

    Similarly, (reflexive response) I remember once going into a fast food chain by myself and ordering two whole (large) chickens, only to be asked "Eat here or takeaway?".

  • (cs)

    Maybe I was just unlucky but the first one about word/excel confusion was pretty mch run of the mill stuff when I did IT support. (Admittedly not in data recovery...) and I don't just mean calls LIKE that, but that exact call week in week out. Sometimes by the same person day after day in a row...

    And those calls? Well they were just the tip of the iceberg. "broken equipment" not turned on, paper empty, physically removed (yeah really, a user called saying the couldn't log on to their computer could i reset their password. The computer was stolen the night before.), not knowing how to select more than one cell in excel, "word has been deleted from my computer please reinstall" means "I minimised word"... it's a never ending torrent of idiocy.

    Both my forehead and desk have suffered far fewer concussive injuries since changing job.

  • Blashder (unregistered) in reply to Annoying Grammar Nazi
    Annoying Grammar Nazi:
    “Incase” does not mean what you think it means.

    First sentence of second store: “Who” should be “whom.”

    What does incase mean? I thought it should be encase.

    Where is the second store?

    Are you sure on 'whom'? Do you REALLY care?

  • Slither (unregistered) in reply to Charles Manson
    Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.

    "Darn, something's wrong with the computer. What shall I do?"

    "Whatever you do, don't tell Charles! He'll wipe the hard drive and install some strange stuff on it again."

  • (cs)

    Wow I wish that all my laptop had was a single flashing light.

    Acer 8920G is the model in question. Let's see, there's the normal HD/numlock/caps lock indicators, fair enough. There's also a constantly flashing wifi light over the other side sitting above the constantly flashing bluetooth light.

    The power light isn't a simple power light, oh no. A bright blight of blue light eminates from around the whole (coin sized) power button, and also a line straight through from the middle of the power button, forward through the laptop case and over and around the hinge.

    Think that's enough blue light to indicate the power on status? No. Through both of the rear speakers we get more blue light emmited in three circular beams of light! What!?! Hold your hand a few inches to either side of the rear of the laptop and you get a bright blue rendition of that three-intersecting-circles hazard sign on your hand. Move your hand and you get the three circles projected onto the wall either side of you.

    Is that it? NO! There's another (thankfully small) blue power light on the front, along with a battery indicator light.

    Surely that's the lot? Nope, not finished yet. There's an entire media control panel (admittedly vey useful) to the left side of the keyboard. glowing white controls abound with a blue volume slider around the edge.

    Oh, the large Acer logo on the back of the screen is illuminated, too.

    Seriously, this thing puts out almost as much light from LEDs as it does from the sceen. I only put up with it because it's otherwise you awesome.

  • Wha...? (unregistered) in reply to Derp
    Derp:
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Muphry's Law strikes again!

    Is that supposed to be ironic!? It's MURPHY's LAW! Morons... </grammarTroll>

    Nope, ur dumb :D

    Trolled by someone who even makes a point of showing they're Trolling....

    Unless I just got trolled....

  • Lego (unregistered) in reply to Bus Driver
    Bus Driver:
    pjt33:
    RRP:
    I guess the Dell help line really does have a reason for the first question they ask: "Is the computer plugged in?"
    In the I.T. Crowd you'll notice that it's the backup question to be asked when "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" doesn't resolve the problem.

    Soemtimes it's a trained response. Some years ago I worked as a bus driver. Any time a driver would radio in a mechanical problem, the response was: "Try shutting down the bus, and then starting it again". The operatator woudl usually come back with "Nope, still got the same problem". The Despatcher: "Shut down again. Take the key out. Blow on it. Wipe it on your shirt. Then try starting again". One day, an operator rang with a burst tire, coordinator: "Have you tried a shutdown?"

    Similarly, (reflexive response) I remember once going into a fast food chain by myself and ordering two whole (large) chickens, only to be asked "Eat here or takeaway?".

    Jake, is that you?

  • clickey McClicker (unregistered)

    Have any of you had to explain to a user that they shouldn't lay notebooks or whatnot across the keyboard or things might not behave as expected?

    How many of us have restored a file from a backup for a user and then on a whim checked a log to find out the same user deleted it?

    Ever seen a fear of emptying the recycle bin or trash because they didn't want to lose their 'deleted' emails?

    Ever encounter the "Why do have to buy a copy for each computer, it is already installed on all of them."

    Ever wish the server rack had a hidden gun compartment?

    There are so many stories of stupid users. It is so sad some times. Please tell another!

  • Touche (unregistered) in reply to RayS
    RayS:
    Maybe I was just unlucky but the first one about word/excel confusion was pretty mch run of the mill stuff when I did IT support. (Admittedly not in data recovery...) and I don't just mean calls LIKE that, but that exact call week in week out. Sometimes by the same person day after day in a row...

    And those calls? Well they were just the tip of the iceberg. "broken equipment" not turned on, paper empty, physically removed (yeah really, a user called saying the couldn't log on to their computer could i reset their password. The computer was stolen the night before.), not knowing how to select more than one cell in excel, "word has been deleted from my computer please reinstall" means "I minimised word"... it's a never ending torrent of idiocy.

    Both my forehead and desk have suffered far fewer concussive injuries since changing job.

    And of course the people who are convinced that programs are deleted if you clean up any shortcuts off their desktop....

  • (Visitor) (unregistered)

    At 11:05 is the first comment. Then, for 48 minutes nothing relevant. Come 11:53, we get a comment explaining (incorrectly) that the little boxes are unprintable characters. Then, after just 3 minutes, another post with the same explanation!

    Another: At 12:20 the annoying grammar nazi posts. Then just noise for almost an hour, until 13:16 when we get the first mentioning of the Muphry's Law. And then, only 2 minutes later, another post with a link to the Muphry's Law.

    I've noticed for long this curious tendency of the ideas in the posts of not spreading uniformly in time, but "clustering" in short spans, but I can't find an explanation. Statistically it seems improbable.

  • Selma (unregistered) in reply to RayS
    RayS:
    Wow I wish that all my laptop had was a single flashing light.

    Acer 8920G is the model in question. Let's see, there's the normal HD/numlock/caps lock indicators, fair enough. There's also a constantly flashing wifi light over the other side sitting above the constantly flashing bluetooth light.

    The power light isn't a simple power light, oh no. A bright blight of blue light eminates from around the whole (coin sized) power button, and also a line straight through from the middle of the power button, forward through the laptop case and over and around the hinge.

    Think that's enough blue light to indicate the power on status? No. Through both of the rear speakers we get more blue light emmited in three circular beams of light! What!?! Hold your hand a few inches to either side of the rear of the laptop and you get a bright blue rendition of that three-intersecting-circles hazard sign on your hand. Move your hand and you get the three circles projected onto the wall either side of you.

    Is that it? NO! There's another (thankfully small) blue power light on the front, along with a battery indicator light.

    Surely that's the lot? Nope, not finished yet. There's an entire media control panel (admittedly vey useful) to the left side of the keyboard. glowing white controls abound with a blue volume slider around the edge.

    Oh, the large Acer logo on the back of the screen is illuminated, too.

    Seriously, this thing puts out almost as much light from LEDs as it does from the sceen. I only put up with it because it's otherwise you awesome.

    MacGyver could use the eminating blue laser to break out, if he were ever bound and alone with his laptop

  • Johnny (unregistered) in reply to (Visitor)
    (Visitor):
    At 11:05 is the first comment. Then, for 48 minutes nothing relevant. Come 11:53, we get a comment explaining (incorrectly) that the little boxes are unprintable characters. Then, after just 3 minutes, another post with the same explanation!

    Another: At 12:20 the annoying grammar nazi posts. Then just noise for almost an hour, until 13:16 when we get the first mentioning of the Muphry's Law. And then, only 2 minutes later, another post with a link to the Muphry's Law.

    I've noticed for long this curious tendency of the ideas in the posts of not spreading uniformly in time, but "clustering" in short spans, but I can't find an explanation. Statistically it seems improbable.

    Wouldn't have anything to do with people reading other people's posts, perhaps?

  • anonymouse (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf fool

    Wait, let me make sure I have this right...

    You took a box back to ship out for a 6 week repair, THREE TIMES without plugging it in and trying it?

    Yep, that's the WTF right there.

  • Neeneko (unregistered)

    Actually that last one, about not plugging the computer in, is a tech support problem that long predates computers. I've heard stories from appliance repairmen about customers who failed to realize that you need to plug in things like washing machines and thus send it back.

  • (Visitor) (unregistered) in reply to Johnny

    But then why write something that's already been written?

  • Psycho Killer (unregistered) in reply to (Visitor)
    (Visitor):
    But then why write something that's already been written?

    You start a conversation you cant even finish it. Youre talkin a lot, but youre not sayin anything. When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?

  • Johnny (unregistered) in reply to (Visitor)
    (Visitor):
    But then why write something that's already been written?
    Because it takes me 3 minutes longer to respond to a prior post typing with one finger than some of the 'mputer geeks ...
  • Pitabred (unregistered) in reply to Capt. Obvious
    What is the technical term for a grammar nazi whose corrections are all incorrect?

    Grammar Colonel Klink?

  • (cs) in reply to Murphy

    [quote user="Murphy"][quote user="ricecake"]Morons...

    [/quote]

    I believe you meant to say "morans" ;-)

  • Commodore repairs. (unregistered)

    The tech at the store selling Commodore machines should have tested the machine in-house before sending it back to Commodore :)

  • (cs) in reply to (Visitor)
    (Visitor):
    I've noticed for long this curious tendency of the ideas in the posts of not spreading uniformly in time, but "clustering" in short spans, but I can't find an explanation. Statistically it seems improbable.
    Well, some of us here work for a living, and look in here during compiles, installations, lunch breaks and such.
  • ricecake (unregistered) in reply to blah
    blah:
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Muphry's Law strikes again!
    ...
    Funny thing is, u're trolling, but ur all wrong:

    It's actually McKean's Law.

    Well, from the article I linked to:

    Wikipedia:
    Muphry's Law ... states that "if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written".

    ...

    A similar law: "McKean's Law: Any correction of the speech or writing of others will contain at least one grammatical, spelling, or typographical error"...

    Similar laws have also been coined, usually in the context of online communication, under the names of Skitt's Law, Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation (or The Law of Prescriptive Retaliation), Bell's First Law of Usenet, Moen's Law of Corrections, Tober's lor, Gaudere's Law, Naruki's Law and Greenrd's Law, and it has also been called Merphy's law.

  • (cs) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Morons...
    I believe you meant to say "morans" ;-)
    Maroons.
  • (cs) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Murphy:
    ricecake:
    Morons...
    I believe you meant to say "morans" ;-)
    Maroons.
    Macaroons.
    Charles Manson:
    Windoze is just not intuitive. I used to get support calls from my parents and grandparents all the time. Now when they get a new computer, the first thing I do is wipe the hard drive and install Ubuntu. Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.
    I'm certain I read this very same post several months ago somewhere else on this site.
  • (cs) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    the real wtf fool:
    Unfortunately I never kept a copy of the email exchange - I never imagined that anybody else would be geeky enough to get the humour in it or that in the future websites populated with stories of IT perversions would exist, or that such web sites would have things called forums on them.

    Ah, that makes sense then.

    Thanks for wasting our time.

    Hey, jerkoff: speak for yourself, if you wouldn't consider just not speaking at all.

    I enjoyed the guy's second-hand story; I'm sure it's unfortunate for you he doesn't have access to every work email of his life, but short of that, at least he took the time to share a brief but funny anecdote.

    In case the point missed you: he actually contributed something to this forum. Stop taking your envious rage out on him for it.

  • Leonard (unregistered)

    "That Darn Annoying Laptop LED (from John G)"

    That's the bastard who killed my wife!

  • Just Askin' (unregistered) in reply to Testy McTesterson
    Testy McTesterson:
    Charles Manson:
    Windoze is just not intuitive. I used to get support calls from my parents and grandparents all the time. Now when they get a new computer, the first thing I do is wipe the hard drive and install Ubuntu. Since I've loaded Ubuntu on all of their computers, I never get any support calls from my family.

    I suppose eliminating support calls by rendering their computer unusable is one way to do it...

    I have to ask. Is this just re-trolling or are there people who honestly think Ubuntu is hard to use*?

    *Assuming some capable person installed it.

  • Bob (unregistered) in reply to Bus Driver

    [quote user="Bus Driver Similarly, (reflexive response) I remember once going into a fast food chain by myself and ordering two whole (large) chickens, only to be asked "Eat here or takeaway?". [/quote]

    That catches me off guard occasionally too, but it's not a totally ridiculous question; for all the clerk knows, you're ordering for a dozen friends who are meeting you there and will be arriving any minute now.

    At least, that's what I tell myself, because the alternative is acknowledging that the clerk thinks I look like I regularly eat four large pizzas by myself.

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to DOA
    DOA:
    The one with the Commodore is the only one where I was actually baffled. Why the hell didn't they just plug it in there and then the first time the guy brought it in? Wasn't verifying the problem before shipping it off to the supplier for 6-8 weeks standard procedure in the 80s?

    I agree that the store is responsible for the Commodore. The customer patiently waited for 12 weeks to get his computer. He was probably angry no one told him sooner.

    In the 1980's many electronics used battery power. The guy had reason to think "my calculator turns on. Why doesn't the computer?".

  • SwedishChef (unregistered) in reply to dml
    dml:
    Hey, jerkoff: speak for yourself, if you wouldn't consider just not speaking at all.

    I enjoyed the guy's second-hand story; I'm sure it's unfortunate for you he doesn't have access to every work email of his life, but short of that, at least he took the time to share a brief but funny anecdote.

    In case the point missed you: he actually contributed something to this forum. Stop taking your envious rage out on him for it.

    Hey, buddy: I think your douche is showing

  • (cs)

    Damn, the stupidity. The boy missed 3 good months of Commodore, for this stupifyingly stupid reason. His dad must be tortured.

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