• Anon cow (unregistered) in reply to ochrist
    ochrist:
    No no no! Just no. Don't end the story by breaking a BBC Micro. Please let it be a Spectrum or a Commodore 64!

    This being a family site they had to censor the end...

    The axe "missed" it's intended target as Andy dived to save his beloved BBC Micro by taking a body blow himself. Every witness of the event said that is exactly what happened, no variations.

    Though not immediately fatal Andy was rushed to an Emergency Room and stabilized. Later moved to an expensive private room but after complications from internal lacerations and unrecoverable bone fragments was put on life support.

    The well paid executive father had to decide what was more embarrassing, a lazy son at work or a lazy vegetable son costing him real money in the Intensive Care Unit. This man who had failed in fatherhood but made it as a shrewd business man knew that he couldn't have his son bleed his own personal fortune dry and he pulled the plug on him. Mom had gone years before and Andy was to be buried next to her.

    At the funeral, the BBC micro wore a black bow tie of magnetic tape.

  • (cs)
    After Katherine left, John grabbed an axe from the basement.
    Oh, is it time for the new BOFH already? Perhaps John could also find a suitable use for a rolled up carpet and a cattle prod.
  • Chelloveck (unregistered) in reply to Eric gaped
    Eric gaped:
    Assigning meaningless, stressful work with the express intent to get someone to leave the company is not only called bullying, it's called all sorts of scary legal things like "constructive dismissal" and "creating a hostile work environment".

    So, assuming that the tape is valuable enough not to just sweep up the mess and toss it in the dustbin, who should be assigned the work? Someone has to do it. So it's "bullying" to assign it to the guy who obviously has no other pressing tasks? Wow, how hard it must be for Andy, spending a whole day sitting in a climate-controlled data center respooling a tape. No wonder it reduced him to tears!

    Right. Pull the other one.

  • zande (unregistered)

    TRWTF is the "Keep Calm" meme.

  • Sal Paradise (unregistered)

    This is dumb. And we're all dumber after reading it. Bollocks indeed.

  • Can I have my time back? (unregistered) in reply to foo AKA fooo
    ... an axe from the basement.
    Is that today's feature WTF? They maintain a supply room in the basement with axes?
  • (cs) in reply to ochrist
    ochrist:
    No no no! Just no. Don't end the story by breaking a BBC Micro. Please let it be a Spectrum or a Commodore 64!

    YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered)

    TRWTF is what that tape would have done to the tape heads with environmental dust from the floor rubbing along them. Not to mention any kinks in the tape could have rubbed off onto the tape heads, making them dirty and the tape lose data. Hanzo wouldn't have tried to save the tape.

  • (cs) in reply to Can I have my time back?
    Can I have my time back?:
    ... an axe from the basement.
    Is that today's feature WTF? They maintain a supply room in the basement with axes?
    Speaking as the former owner of a bat-o-clue, I can see that.
  • I say, you there! How is your whippet? (unregistered) in reply to emurphy
    emurphy:
    ochrist:
    No no no! Just no. Don't end the story by breaking a BBC Micro. Please let it be a Spectrum or a Commodore 64!

    YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

    Bloody typical of the proletariat that is... jealous that their Spectrums are comparatively rubbish, they incite violence against the ruling classes and their BBCs.

    The BBC Master System; it was called that for a reason.

    Ptcha!!... plebs and their Commodore 64s.

  • MArk B. (unregistered)

    So that's why they call me Andy at work.

  • Tux "Tuxedo" Penguin (unregistered) in reply to Algorythmics
    Algorythmics:
    Replace BBC micro with facebook, replace tape winding with photocopying, replace computer department with ANY OTHER department.

    The story still works perfectly. This means the story doesn't work at all.

    No, story wouldn't work. You can't get rid of facebook with an axe.

  • (cs) in reply to CigarDoug
    CigarDoug:
    Is... is the purpose of this story to get us to wish we had Hanzo stories again?

    Mandatory Fun Day, actually.

  • Hawk (unregistered) in reply to userdel -r andyb
    userdel -r andyb:

    This was my first thought too

  • Anomaly (unregistered)

    Guess they didn't have telecommuting yet?

  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to Swearing badly, what?
    Swearing badly:
    Its pretty weird how British people can happily use American swearing normally, but Americans unswervingly manage to bugger up British swearing.

    Twat. Rhymes with Bat. Not Bot, or Bart.

    in Oz it rhymes with bot....unless you're a dick.

    Actually twat (bat) seems less offensive here than twat (bot)

  • Monners (unregistered)

    Am I missing something here? Bullying or no aside, who the hell breaks down in tears after a stint of winding tape?

    TRWTF here is that: A. Apparently assigning a single, mundane task is enough to destroy someone, and B. It actually worked!

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to Monners
    Monners:
    Am I missing something here? Bullying or no aside, who the hell breaks down in tears after a stint of winding tape?
    Nobody because it didn't happen.
    B. It actually worked!
    Nope.
  • (cs) in reply to EvilSnack
    EvilSnack:
    Outside of a contract, employees can quit at any time.
    Outside of a contract, they're not employees and so can't quit.
  • foxyshadis (unregistered) in reply to foo AKA fooo
    foo AKA fooo:
    Monners:
    Am I missing something here? Bullying or no aside, who the hell breaks down in tears after a stint of winding tape?
    Nobody because it didn't happen.
    B. It actually worked!
    Nope.
    Meh, I've seen a few people willing to whine (whigne?) and cry over every dumb little task to get someone to take over to shut them up. Fortunately they're quite rare; most of us IT are lazy and angry but willing to roll up our sleeves when necessary. The occasional rock star pretty much keeps entire companies in business.
  • Wfd (unregistered) in reply to FrankyBoy
    FrankyBoy:
    So why would i give a fuck about whose son he is? If his dad is really dumb enough to mix business with family then: a) i dont want to do business with him b) he can hire his son in his own company

    He did. Dad's a partner, it's a law firm.

  • Redmess (unregistered) in reply to Tux "Tuxedo" Penguin
    Tux "Tuxedo" Penguin:
    Algorythmics:
    Replace BBC micro with facebook, replace tape winding with photocopying, replace computer department with ANY OTHER department.

    The story still works perfectly. This means the story doesn't work at all.

    No, story wouldn't work. You can't get rid of facebook with an axe.

    Well, you could, but seeing as Facebook lives in dozens of server farms around the world, it would take quite a bit more time and effort. Better start practicing that axe swinging arm.

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered)

    Wouldn't "Take the day off, love" count as sexual harassment?

  • Hanz-o (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward:
    Wouldn't "Take the day off, love" count as sexual harassment?
    Why would it? There's nothing sexual nor harassing in that sentence.
  • nobulate (unregistered)

    This company is no California Cheese Co..

  • Edmund (unregistered)

    This article has been written by an American but had details changed to pretend to be British. I don't know why you do this but please stop. The "dog's bollocks" are something wonderful just fyi.

  • MARKO THEHYPNOTIST (unregistered)

    It's twit not twat(bat)as in tit for tat. Bollocks? Off the register. Bullies throw rocks at the windows of those they are jealous of. It vindicates, validates and justifies them in their refusal to wind tape for others. Workplace trauma has it's roots in bullying. It doesn't look too big from up here. Little maggots inhabit the box, there are axes in the basement and who needs a desktop? Pax Vobiscum -- marko thehypnotist

  • smf (unregistered)

    If Andy had been picked to wind the tape for any other reason than everyone had decided they didn't like him, then it would not be bullying.

    Andy's coworkers sound like horrible horrible people. He would be better out of there and he'd probably then have the strength to get over his drinking problem.

    They can then move on and choose their next victim.

    First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Socialist.

    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Jew.

    Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to smf
    smf:
    If Andy had been picked to wind the tape for any other reason than everyone had decided they didn't like him, then it would not be bullying.

    Andy's coworkers sound like horrible horrible people. He would be better out of there and he'd probably then have the strength to get over his drinking problem.

    They can then move on and choose their next victim.

    First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Socialist.

    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Jew.

    Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.

    Andy's drinking problem is the fault of everyone else, and Andy's co-workers are all Nazis. Somehow I get the feeling that you're not being serious, but it's sometimes easy to confuse stupidity for sarcasm.
  • Valued Service (unregistered) in reply to anonymous_coder()
    anonymous_coder():
    Eric gaped:
    rohcQaH:
    Assigning work to someone who clearly has the time for an additional workload is now called "bullying"?

    Assigning meaningless, stressful work with the express intent to get someone to leave the company is not only called bullying, it's called all sorts of scary legal things like "constructive dismissal" and "creating a hostile work environment".

    And that depends on where you're from, doesn't it? In right-to-work states in the US, legal terms like that are met with blank hostility from the courts. People pretend that labor law gives them some kind of armor against bad behavior, when it's going to take you tens of thousands of dollars to litigate that case.

    Companies know that, and will violate the law, well knowing that someone they fire won't be able to afford a lawyer to fight it, or willingly pay the violations because they're cheaper than the cost of fighting it.

    And I was a union steward - I saw it happen all the time. Tried to defend people from it whenever I could, but didn't have the resources, and when contracts bind you to arbitration for labor disputes, you have limited redress.

    Now, in civilized countries, the law is far more on the workers' side, but Americans (and I'm including myself in that category) are kind of boned.

    Why is it that people civilized countries like working for jerks?

    Me, I take my right to work, and just leave.

    I still haven't had trouble finding work. And if there isn't any, I have friends that can create it.

    All you do by neglecting right to work, is creating hostile work environments that become more creative in avoiding looking hostile.

    Here, we prefer to just make more money.

  • smf (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Andy's drinking problem is the fault of everyone else, and Andy's co-workers are all Nazis.

    I suppose you could misunderstand what I was trying to say if you were trying hard enough.

    anonymous:
    Somehow I get the feeling that you're not being serious, but it's sometimes easy to confuse stupidity for sarcasm.

    I have the same problem.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to smf
    smf:
    anonymous:
    Andy's drinking problem is the fault of everyone else, and Andy's co-workers are all Nazis.

    I suppose you could misunderstand what I was trying to say if you were trying hard enough.

    Here's the direct quote where you blame Andy's co-workers for Andy's lack of strength:

    "Andy's coworkers sound like horrible horrible people. He would be better out of there and he'd probably then have the strength to get over his drinking problem."

    And then you Godwin'd the argument by using the "then they came for" bit. Nobody is being killed. Andy needs to speak for Andy. Until Andy gets his fucking act together and learns how to use basic hygiene, Andy has nobody but himself to blame for the fact that nobody can stand to be around Andy.

  • (cs) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    And then you Godwin'd the argument by using the "then they came for" bit.

    No need to be a Nazi when enforcing Godwin's Law.

  • smf (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Here's the direct quote where you blame Andy's co-workers for Andy's lack of strength:

    "Andy's coworkers sound like horrible horrible people. He would be better out of there and he'd probably then have the strength to get over his drinking problem."

    In no place did I attribute blame. You inferred it because it met your argument.

    anonymous:
    And then you Godwin'd the argument by using the "then they came for" bit. Nobody is being killed. Andy needs to speak for Andy. Until Andy gets his fucking act together and learns how to use basic hygiene, Andy has nobody but himself to blame for the fact that nobody can stand to be around Andy.

    The poem neither mentions killing or Nazi's. It's a good example of why you shouldn't tolerate mobbing, because at some point you'll be at the sharp end.

    But thanks for trying to tell me exactly what I meant, it's a really good tactic in mobbing.

  • Duke of New York (unregistered) in reply to froob
    froob:
    Because workplace bullying is sooo funny.
    why don't you go tell your daddy about it
  • Duke of New York (unregistered) in reply to Eric gaped
    Eric gaped:
    Assigning meaningless, stressful work with the express intent to get someone to leave the company is not only called bullying, it's called all sorts of scary legal things like "constructive dismissal" and "creating a hostile work environment".
    I don't believe that assigning someone work that in fact needs to be done, and is reasonably believed to be within their capacity, and falls within their responsibility (e.g. computer stuff) is considered constructive dismissal anywhere.

    Anyone defending the oaf in this story, whether true or not, should stab themselves in the neck.

  • smf (unregistered) in reply to Duke of New York
    Duke of New York:
    I don't believe that assigning someone work that in fact needs to be done, and is reasonably believed to be within their capacity, and falls within their responsibility (e.g. computer stuff) is considered constructive dismissal anywhere.

    The person who's responsibility it fell under was told not to do the work because they wanted to use it as a punishment to try and force him to resign. They then sent an email round to everyone except him saying not to help.

    If the story was "we asked a guy to do something and he quit" then your argument would be fine. Unfortunately for you the story was "we tried to bully this guy into quitting by dumping this on him". You can't LOL about it and then pretend that it's not bullying.

    Duke of New York:
    Anyone defending the oaf in this story, whether true or not, should stab themselves in the neck.

    We just disagree on who the oaf is. If I was stuck with either of the two employees I'd rather have someone that turned up late and played computer games than a manager who was a liability. Neither of them seem competent to do their job, but often you get stuck and the real skill in management comes from resolving conflicts like this.

    If it's not true then someone was thinking "wouldn't it be cool if I can create a situation where everyone hates this guy so it's ok to bully him". Which is even worse.

    I'm not sure whether it's the lateness, drunkenness or the fact he's daring to interact with the others that upsets you so much. It sounds too much like a "what is that nerd doing sitting at our table" story, you know "if we let that happen he'll think it's ok to talk to us".

  • Duke of New York (unregistered)

    If an employee has a reputation of grabbing other people to do his work for him, then it's within a manager's prerogative to keep members of the team on task. A manager who accommodates a freeloader until the freeloader suddenly decides to start working is not a good manager, he's a fool.

    What the hell, I'm actually arguing with someone who compared giving work to a freeloader with the holocaust.

  • Duke of New York (unregistered)

    BTW here's how one might write the memo to avoid a claim of constructive dismissal:

    -- Team: As some of you already know, we are having trouble with the backup systems. They will be repaired, but until then we must secure the existing backups.

    I have entrusted Andy with this important task and I expect him to personally see it through. Please offer him your encouragement.

    Regards, John

  • smf (unregistered) in reply to Duke of New York
    Duke of New York:
    If an employee has a reputation of grabbing other people to do his work for him, then it's within a manager's prerogative to keep members of the team on task.

    The way this story was written this wasn't "his work".

    "There's hundreds of feet of tape in that little thing," said Taylor, B & B's resident handyman.

    "That would be perfect," John said. "Don't bother yourself with fixing it. I know just the man for the job."

    Duke of New York:
    A manager who accommodates a freeloader until the freeloader suddenly decides to start working is not a good manager, he's a fool.

    He sounds like someone that you don't actually want to do any work anyway. I've worked with plenty of people like that, it's usually down to how likable they are and not how much damage they create that determines their fate.

    Arguing that this isn't an example of workplace bullying ignores the premise of the story.

    "No one wants him, but no one can sack him, on account of being a partner's son."

    "So how about we find another way to get him out the door?" John said. "If you know what I mean."

    Duke of New York:
    What the hell, I'm actually arguing with someone who compared giving work to a freeloader with the holocaust.

    I don't recall that comparison ever being made, you probably misunderstood what you read the way you misunderstood the story.

    Thanks for the straw men.

  • Duke of New York (unregistered)

    One doesn't want Andy to do work, but one does want him to continue drawing pay, is that it? The story does not mention or hint at any alternative to winding the tape. It's a manage's prerogative to assign that work to someone who should be able to do it.

    If you don't think you made the comparison then look up "compare" in a dictionary, so you can own up to your ridiculous and offensive comparison.

  • smf (unregistered) in reply to Duke of New York
    Duke of New York:
    One doesn't want Andy to do work, but one does want him to continue drawing pay, is that it?

    The setup of the story is that they can't sack him. I'd suggest they are being lazy and could easily find something to put him through a disciplinary. But they tolerate his bad behaviour and then sink to bullying to force him to quit. That is why the manager is a liability.

    If they can't sack him and can't put him through disciplinary then the best outcome would be to put him in a position where he can cause the least damage. It's not their money that is paying him, so it's purely jealousy that is driving their bad behaviour.

    Duke of New York:
    The story does not mention or hint at any alternative to winding the tape.

    The story says that the person who's job it would usually be is told not to do it because it's going to be used to try to force someone to quit.

    Duke of New York:
    It's a manage's prerogative to assign that work to someone who should be able to do it.

    It is not a managers prerogative to assign work to someone outside of their job spec to make them quit. It is in fact illegal.

    Duke of New York:
    If you don't think you made the comparison then look up "compare" in a dictionary, so you can own up to your ridiculous and offensive comparison.

    I didn't compare the acts, I compared the people who stood by and thought it was ok to do something bad because it was happening to someone else that they didn't like.

    I'm assuming you are avoiding understanding my point and the premise of the story because it allows you to keep straw manning me.

  • Mike Francis (unregistered) in reply to EvilSnack
    EvilSnack:

    For every good worker that was fired in an employment-at-will state, I can show you a bad worker in another state who gamed the system to stay on a job that they were unable or unwilling to perform.

    Every state in the U.S. (except Montana) is an employment-at-will state.

  • CardboardTubeSamurai (unregistered)

    'The dog's bollocks' actually means that something is 'cool' or 'awesome'...

  • (cs)

    Well who is Eric Gern? I'm the John Little in the story, and submitted a WTF in the middle of February, that this story seems to have been based on. Mine was much shorter, and casts the characters in quite different light IMO, most notably myself. Though, there's the odd detail I didn't include, like the 11 am starts and the whimpering... makes me think Eric Gern knew Andy. Anyway, here's the original I submitted, which is accurate to the best of my memory (yes it really happened, I still have the tape!):

    Andy

    Andy's father was our chairman's best man, so when he left school he was given a job in our smallish firm in the City. I didn't mind him that much, but to most he was lazy, unkempt, boorish and too fond of blowing his own trumpet. He should have fit right in, we had plenty of characters for which that description would be understatement, but somehow weedy immaturity and general uselessness didn't add to the mix well.

    He got shunted around from department to department until he ended up with us in computers, which he thought was a great fit because he was a whiz on his BBC micro. Of course, he went about upsetting the operators by pointing out he would be their boss soon, but his aversion to work, slackness (f.ex. starting work at 11 am when the local youth hostel kicked him out), and unpleasant manner soon had him totally disliked.

    One day, I mentioned to an "engineer" on a regular maintenance visit that the take up reel on one of our half-inch tape drives was cracked. He said that was okay, it was just a standard reel and if it broke just undo that screw and replace it. We had to send out tapes with our day's business and there were strict deadlines for them, so I located a dud tape, and proceeded to unwind it. This was non-trivial, unwinding 3600 feet took a quarter of an hour. Seeing this huge pile of tape, about eighteen inches high on the floor, I had an idea.

    I gathered up this pile, no mean task, and carried it upstairs to Andy's desk. It was impressive, covering the desk completely. I wrote a note to Andy, please could he rewind it, urgent. Just in case he was fool enough not to get the joke, I made sure that a group of people nearby knew about it. And then I disappeared for a boozy lunch with a computer salesman.

    I hadn't allowed for just how much Andy was disliked, so when Andy came to his desk they solemnly swore that yes, he had to do it. He rushed out to the pub (in the City, we had 7 pubs within 100 yards) where our manager was having lunch and without missing a beat told Andy if I had asked for it, it must really be necessary. Frantic, he darted around the firm, trying to get out of it, but the response was unanimous. What should have given the game away, though, was the chief operator (who hated Andy the most, mostly because she was a hateful old battleaxe) who said, "Andy, it has to be done, I'll help you".

    Well, he couldn't find an end of the tape. So he cut it, and when he reached one of the ends, he stapled it on. He didn't notice the twists and tangles he reeled up, until about a third of the way through the pile the hysterical fits of everyone on the floor finally got through to him.

    When I returned at 3 pm, I was met by one of the operators, tears streaming down her face, and was presented with the tape!

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered)

    Here is what the BBC really did to half-inch tape drives.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to smf
    smf:
    anonymous:
    Here's the direct quote where you blame Andy's co-workers for Andy's lack of strength:

    "Andy's coworkers sound like horrible horrible people. He would be better out of there and he'd probably then have the strength to get over his drinking problem."

    In no place did I attribute blame. You inferred it because it met your argument.

    "[change to A] and probably then [B would be different]" clearly implies that you think there is a cause-and-effect relationship between A and B.

    In short: Liar.

  • Eric Gaped (unregistered) in reply to John Little
    John Little:
    Well who is Eric Gern? I'm the John Little in the story, and submitted a WTF in the middle of February, that this story seems to have been based on. Mine was much shorter, and casts the characters in quite different light IMO, most notably myself. Though, there's the odd detail I didn't include, like the 11 am starts and the whimpering... makes me think Eric Gern knew Andy. Anyway, here's the original I submitted, which is accurate to the best of my memory (yes it really happened, I still have the tape!):

    -snip-

    Ah, so it's yet another story fucked up by the writers of TDWTF. In your version it's clearly a joke rather than a campaign of bullying, and it's much clearer that Andy provoked all the dislike (the boss comment, attempting to shirk responsibility etc). In your version it's also clear that it was an actual task, not just some BS made up to upset him.

    In the version in the article (if I remember correctly; I can't be bothered to re-read that tripe), it sounded like Andy was merely an incompetent brogrammer who everyone ganged up on.

    Cheers for submitting your original!

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