The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I'm pretty sure I work there.

frist mb?

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I like how the actual code then continues to not use the variables set up before.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

What that dump needs is to go out of business. Why are small companies so fucking stupid and ignorant of pretty much EVERYTHING, including most of the time their own core business?

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

The Real WTF is not fixing the problem:

That bit that is repeated in every file? Create a function and include it.
Add a column with a textual key. Use that instead of numeric labels.
Instead of $mob_title = "$st[274]"; you can now use $st["mob_title"]. While not all numeric labels are gone, you can still use a numeric index instead.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Well, yeah, sure, TRWTF is the entire hoopla of 3 Tier programming. Lets save all the HTML, Javascript, styles, nobr's and p tags in the database. I mean, why not.

Think of this differently, forget 3 tier. The DB is saved on the HDD. The HTML (as other nitwit companies do) is also saved on the HDD. So, whats the difference.

</sarcasm>

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

TRWTF is internationalization.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

the true WTF is the 'die' statement

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

delimo:
the true WTF is the 'die' statement PHP.

FTFY

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

TRWTF is that 14 developers went by and nobody ever thought that maybe the cost of fixing the problems in the application is less that the cost of hiring 14 developers and getting them to know the code base

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Every page started the same…

I'm pretty sure I would have strangled the penguin by the time I saw the second page.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Carlos:
TRWTF is that 14 developers went by and nobody ever thought that maybe the cost of fixing the problems in the application is less that the cost of hiring 14 developers and getting them to know the code base management.

FTFY

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I like the sheer elegance of...

$first_line = "$st[106]

$st[244]"; $second_line = "";

Why not put multiple lines in the $first_line variable and nothing in $second_line?

CAPTCHA: genitus - what this code is not a work of.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.

Agreed. It's like you read my mind.

Lockwood · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Comment Number 15!

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

So I don't know PHP, but please tell me that this:

die( "Couldn't execute query: $sql_st;" . mysql_error() )

Doesn't print the SQL statement and the error straight to the browser so that user can see it.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Lockwood:
Comment Number 15!

The horrible thing is: You're actually right about that...

Captcha: secundum, n. Posting in precisely the right second to achieve a desired goal (see "Frist").

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

John Smith:
Why are small companies so fucking stupid and ignorant of pretty much EVERYTHING, including most of the time their own core business?

Snake-oil CEOS hire snake-oil managers hire snake-oil grunts.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

OK, I won't tell you.

Seriously though, what was the day 1 idea for this? Where does this sound like a less than GTFO of my company concept?

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I'm sad that I'm the one that has to break it for you, but yes, yes it does.

HellKarnassus · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.

It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

JanNaj · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

HellKarnassus:
venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.
It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

It's like none of you know what you're talking about. You must all be gods.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

JanNaj:
HellKarnassus:
venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.
It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

It's like none of you know what you're talking about. You must all be gods.

~~It's like none of you know what you're talking about.~~ You must all be gods.

FTFY

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Larry:
TRWTF is President's Day.

FTFYA

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Correction man:
JanNaj:
HellKarnassus:
venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.
It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

It's like none of you know what you're talking about. You must all be gods.

~~It's like none of you know what you're talking about.~~ You must be a moron that doesn't understand BBCode.all be gods.

FTFYFY

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

LOL RIGHT IN TEH LINE XXX THERE IS WRITTEN DOWN

$fax_title = "$st[275]";

IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT IS IF THERE WOULD HAVE B33N

$faq_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST DAILYWTFS IV'VE EVEER SEEN SINCE YESTERDAY EVAAAH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

US Hyperg33k:
LOL RIGHT IN TEH LINE XXX THERE IS WRITTEN DOWN
$fax_title = "$st[275]";

IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT IS IF THERE WOULD HAVE B33N

$faq_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST DAILYWTFS IV'VE EVEER SEEN SINCE YESTERDAY EVAAAH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MEAN I MEAN

$fag_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOLL HOW FUNNY IS THAT !!!!!

CAPTHCA:luptatum, HTEM MARMELADE OF THE HORRIBLE!!!!

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

US Hyperg33k:
US Hyperg33k:
LOL RIGHT IN TEH LINE XXX THERE IS WRITTEN DOWN
$fax_title = "$st[275]";

IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT IS IF THERE WOULD HAVE B33N

$faq_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST DAILYWTFS IV'VE EVEER SEEN SINCE YESTERDAY EVAAAH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MEAN I MEAN

$fag_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOLL HOW FUNNY IS THAT !!!!!

CAPTHCA:luptatum, HTEM MARMELADE OF THE HORRIBLE!!!!

You are. ...

...

I don't know.

Power Troll · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I wouldn't mind injecting some of my own SQL code into this database, if you get my drift.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

LOOLLL! WHAT AM I ???AH EYS I FORGOT YOU DON NOW. GUESS THE ALZHEIMER IS TAKING YUO ::: FAGGOTTT!!!LOL XP

WELL I GUSS THSI IS MA LAST POST ; YOU ARE ALL HYPER FAQS WITH NO RESPECT FOR MEH WISDOM NAD NO MUSTARD!!!

CAPTHA!!! ABICO - IS TEH RED BULL IF THE DEATH !!! <-- XP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Coyne · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

10% of website in PHP.

90% of website in DataBase.

PHP backed up: Great.

No backup of the database: Priceless.

mernen · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Ah, yes, the Almighty Database. I've been through that in a past job. Good times.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Never attribute to stupidity what can be adequately explained by malicious genius on a bad acid trip. For example:

Entire web site in a single file.
Said file having no discernible structure, but having enough binary pointers here and there that you can't really look at it with any normal tool.
Above mentioned massive shitblob is about a quarter terabyte, and the whole thing has to be backed up whenever one tiny change is made. And don't even get me started about restores...
Destruction of all the features of a sane filesystem, like various permissions to individual pages, page size, page created, last modified, diff between current page and a backup...
Lame attempts to re-implement familiar filesystem management tools like diff, grep, cp -- so you have to learn them all over again -- but with no opportunity for shell scripting this time.
Perversion of all the features of a sane database, like atomic transactions, concurrency control, stored procedures, cached reusable queries, indexes...
Lame attempts to re-implement familiar database management tools -- so you have to learn them all over again.
Acknowledgment that the shitblob will regularly get corrupted, in the form of a tool to go through and attempt to salvage some of what's left -- while your web site is down -- for hours.
And, strangest of all, a fervent flock of wild-eyed supporters, who answer every objection by pointing out "But it's an object store", as if a buzz phrase from 1998 makes everything OK.

If you ever hear the words "Plone" or "Zope", run as fast as your little legs can carry you!

hoodaticus · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

David Schwartz:
I'm pretty sure I work there.
frist mb?

You missed a golden opportunity to make the first comment of the article be: "SIXTEENTH!"

hoodaticus · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

US Hyperg33k:
US Hyperg33k:
LOL RIGHT IN TEH LINE XXX THERE IS WRITTEN DOWN
$fax_title = "$st[275]";

IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT IS IF THERE WOULD HAVE B33N

$faq_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST DAILYWTFS IV'VE EVEER SEEN SINCE YESTERDAY EVAAAH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MEAN I MEAN

$fag_title = "$st[275]";

LOOOLL HOW FUNNY IS THAT !!!!!

CAPTHCA:luptatum, HTEM MARMELADE OF THE HORRIBLE!!!!

In the non-anonymized version, that line actually reads:

$fag_name = "US Hyperg33k";

hoodaticus · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

US HyperG33k:
LOOLLL! WHAT AM I ???AH EYS I FORGOT YOU DON NOW. GUESS THE ALZHEIMER IS TAKING YUO ::: FAGGOTTT!!!LOL XP
WELL I GUSS THSI IS MA LAST POST ; YOU ARE ALL HYPER FAQS WITH NO RESPECT FOR MEH WISDOM NAD NO MUSTARD!!!

CAPTHA!!! ABICO - IS TEH RED BULL IF THE DEATH !!! <-- XP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Thank God. It's gone.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

John Smith:
What that dump needs is to go out of business. Why are small companies so fucking stupid and ignorant of pretty much EVERYTHING, including most of the time their own core business?

I have generally seen that screwed up small companies are lead by a billiant "entrepreneur" that is really, really at starting a company and has great ideas for growing the company. BUT the "entrepreneur" doesn't have a clue about actual operations (business ops, IT ops, HR, etc). So if the company actually does well, none of its processes can scale to handle the growth.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

JanNaj:
HellKarnassus:
venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.
It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

It's like none of you know what you're talking about. You must all be gods.

# vi post.junk
:1,$s/gods/managers/
:1,$s/god/management/
:wq
#post post.junk

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

techpaul:
JanNaj:
HellKarnassus:
venio:
The Corrector Corrector:
Yes. Because everything PHP automatically sucks.
Agreed. It's like you read my mind.
It's like he read everyone's mind. He must be god.

It's like none of you know what you're talking about. You must all be gods.
# vi post.junk
:1,$s/gods/managers/
:1,$s/god/management/
:wq
#post post.junk

As your manager I deride you for wasting company resources by using vim where ed would have sufficed.

Coyne · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Anon:
So I don't know PHP, but please tell me that this:
die( "Couldn't execute query: $sql_st;" . mysql_error() )

Doesn't print the SQL statement and the error straight to the browser so that user can see it.

Sorry, can't tell you that because it does print the entire SQL statement to the web page. Yet another WTF.

I think the average is 2 per line of source or thereabouts.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Ooh ooh, let me try one!

TRWTF is users can delete rows from the static text table?

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
US HyperG33k:
LOOLLL! WHAT AM I ???AH EYS I FORGOT YOU DON NOW. GUESS THE ALZHEIMER IS TAKING YUO ::: FAGGOTTT!!!LOL XP
WELL I GUSS THSI IS MA LAST POST ; YOU ARE ALL HYPER FAQS WITH NO RESPECT FOR MEH WISDOM NAD NO MUSTARD!!!

CAPTHA!!! ABICO - IS TEH RED BULL IF THE DEATH !!! <-- XP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Thank God. It's gone.

I was just about to ask who told JeffK about this site.

CAPTCHA: inhibeo - video of people displaying inhibited judgement? giggity.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Josh M.: Where am I? Number 2: In Innetech. Josh M. / Number 15: What do you want? Number 2: We want Customer Tables. Number 15: Whose side are you on? Number 2: That would be telling. We want Customer Tables... Customer Tables... Customer Tables. Number 15: You won't get it. Number 2: By hook or by crook, we will. Number 15: Who are you? Number 2: The new Number 2. Number 15: Who is Number 1? Number 2: You are Number 15. Number 15: I am not a number, I am a free man^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H minimum wage slave.

2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Of course, this is definitely PHP's fault. This NEVER would have happened if he used, say, ASP.

Oh wait.

label1.Text = st[24];
label2.Text = st[25];
label3.Text = st[124];
label4.Text = st[255];
label5.Text = st[106] + "\r\n\r\n" + st[244];
label6.Text = "";
label7.Text = st[18];

But TRWTF is PHP, right guyz?

boog · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

US HyperG33k:
LOOLLL! WHAT AM I ???AH EYS I FORGOT YOU DON NOW. GUESS THE ALZHEIMER IS TAKING YUO ::: FAGGOTTT!!!LOL XP
WELL I GUSS THSI IS MA LAST POST ; YOU ARE ALL HYPER FAQS WITH NO RESPECT FOR MEH WISDOM NAD NO MUSTARD!!!

CAPTHA!!! ABICO - IS TEH RED BULL IF THE DEATH !!! <-- XP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

What's that boy? You say Timmy's fallen down a well?

Jaime · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

Miff:
Of course, this is definitely PHP's fault. This NEVER would have happened if he used, say, ASP.
Oh wait.
label1.Text = st[24];
label2.Text = st[25];
label3.Text = st[124];
label4.Text = st[255];
label5.Text = st[106] + "\r\n\r\n" + st[244];
label6.Text = "";
label7.Text = st[18];
But TRWTF is PHP, right guyz?

Yes, it's partly PHP's fault. PHP's feature of $ parsing inside strings seems be begging to be abused like this.

hoodaticus · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

BentFranklin:
Ooh ooh, let me try one! TRWTF is users can delete rows from the static text table?

Try again. TRWTF is expecting users to reference entries in the table by pointer and for nothing to get screwed up in the process.

boog · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

...but nobody had thought about backing up the data. Oops.

Understatement of the day.

dugginator · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

funny...$st[274] is my password

Mel · 2011-02-21 Reply Admin

I think I could've worked here, but I'm not sure - after 3 months at the place I'm thinking of, I still didn't understand how the code managed to actually vaguely work.

Didn't help that the one guy who did understand (or said he did, anyway - the original coder) was a sexist, arrogant prick who claimed "I am the documentation" and then complained to the boss when I dared venture out of the small domain I had been given, to try to understand the mess...

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