• Severity One (cs)

    I'LL BE DAMNED

  • MiffTheFox (cs)

    This is 2013! You can't use text/ mimetypes in new applications anymore! It should be application/diarescript!

  • RaspenJho (cs)

    Which prize was won with this entry?

  • ratchet freak (cs)

    TRWTF is that diarescript is turing complete

  • cylindromata cottonless (unregistered)

    TRWTF is the XSS exploit going on this comment thread. Seriously?

  • anonymous (unregistered)

    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

  • ratchet freak (cs) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?
    runs the function when the document has finished loading (it's jquerry's onload)
  • Remy Porter (cs) in reply to anonymous

    That's a jQuery statement. When the document fires the ready event, it will execute whatever the body of the function is.

  • Maurizio (unregistered)

    What is wrong with diarescript ? Never coded in assembler ?

  • John (unregistered)

    Just for fun, I once wrote a set of #defines that I used to write some C code that the local Pascal partisans could read without realizing at first that it wasn't Pascal. Of course, I didn't treat this as anything serious. It's only real effect was to slightly slow down typing the code, since it used more characters and thus more keystrokes to type. But I also had fun using it to argue that Pascal was really just a subset of C, spelled differently. This confused the partisans of both languages, who considered the differences a serious theological issue.

  • AnonymousStudent (unregistered) in reply to Maurizio
    Maurizio:
    What is wrong with diarescript ? Never coded in assembler ?

    Well, after MIPS assembly, this diarescript looks not that bad ;(

    I'm sad

    CAPTCHA: "mara" untangible dream in my languae, job I'd like to have

  • Nmare (cs) in reply to John
    John:
    Just for fun, I once wrote a set of #defines that I used to write some C code that the local Pascal partisans could read without realizing at first that it wasn't Pascal. Of course, I didn't treat this as anything serious. It's only real effect was to slightly slow down typing the code, since it used more characters and thus more keystrokes to type. But I also had fun using it to argue that Pascal was really just a subset of C, spelled differently. This confused the partisans of both languages, who considered the differences a serious theological issue.

    There some difference. C used to be slightly faster then TP, but you can do inline assembly code in a tp source while you had to compile some external .asm in C.

    the good old time of C and TP... thx to remember me my first real programming language (after gwbasic =])

  • no laughing matter (cs)
    Alex Papadimolous:
    just look at it - the syntax flows like the transcript of a drunken hillbilly's rumblings during a fever dream
    I'd still favor it over COBOL any day!
  • Shobo (unregistered)

    The dev misspelled "Diarrhea".

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to Shobo
    Shobo:
    The dev misspelled "Diarrhea".

    Diarescript be that.

  • Captcha:odio (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • caffeine (unregistered)

    I'm inspired to write a Shakespearean equivalent of this now... Imagine the poetic code when combined with human variable names!

    Oh Cordelia and Ophelia thou art of a most numeric type but thou be worth nought. Cordelia I add one to thee until thou hast become as days be in a week. Cordelia art thou prime? Yea? Ophelia thou addeth Cordelia unto yourself. Nay? Ophelia thou taketh Cordelia away from yourself. Again Cordelia! Ophelia return to me!

    OK... So Ophelia being 6 is very very wrong but still....

  • Todd Lewis (unregistered) in reply to Captcha:odio
    Comment held for moderation.
  • WooHoo! (unregistered)

    Gangsta COBOL on the web!

  • Shakespear (unregistered) in reply to caffeine
    caffeine:
    I'm inspired to write a Shakespearean equivalent of this now... Imagine the poetic code when combined with human variable names!

    Oh Cordelia and Ophelia thou art of a most numeric type but thou be worth nought. Cordelia I add one to thee until thou hast become as days be in a week. Cordelia art thou prime? Yea? Ophelia thou addeth Cordelia unto yourself. Nay? Ophelia thou taketh Cordelia away from yourself. Again Cordelia! Ophelia return to me!

    OK... So Ophelia being 6 is very very wrong but still....

    Freaking hi·lar·i·ous.

  • RogueMonkey (unregistered) in reply to caffeine
    caffeine:
    I'm inspired to write a Shakespearean equivalent of this now... Imagine the poetic code when combined with human variable names!

    Oh Cordelia and Ophelia thou art of a most numeric type but thou be worth nought. Cordelia I add one to thee until thou hast become as days be in a week. Cordelia art thou prime? Yea? Ophelia thou addeth Cordelia unto yourself. Nay? Ophelia thou taketh Cordelia away from yourself. Again Cordelia! Ophelia return to me!

    OK... So Ophelia being 6 is very very wrong but still....

    This was beautiful. And much more comprehensible than some of the code I have seen.

    Some ambiguity with "most numeric type" though. Most = double precision FP? 64-bit unsigned integer? Or will the compiler just figure it out?

    Maybe "Thou art of a most precise numeric type" vs. "Thou art fixed in thy numerous yet small nature".

  • KingBeardo (unregistered) in reply to caffeine

    Oh Cordelia and Ophelia thou art of a most numeric type but thou be worth naught. Cordelia I add one to thee until thou hast become as days be in a week. Cordelia art thou prime? Yea? Ophelia thou addeth Cordelia unto thyself. Nay? Ophelia thou taketh Cordelia away from thyself. Again Cordelia!

    //check for legality ;) Know ye well that womanhood, as put forth by the law, is the count of months in one and one-half years. Ophelia art thou greater than or equal to womanhood, as put forth by the law? Yea? //she's lying -- best set things right Ophelia thou art womanhood, as put forth by the law Nay? //uh-oh, jailbait... Ophelia thou addeth to thyself the gulf between womanhood, as put forth by the law, and thyself

    //there we go :) Ophelia return to me! //(.Y.)

    In University, I used to put mash-ups of random quotations from history's famous crackpots in the comments around code that I had to submit to professors, because I figured it probably got boring for them to read through similar implementations 20+ times including all those 'expected and relevant' explanatory comments

  • Captcha:jumentum (unregistered) in reply to caffeine
    Comment held for moderation.
  • cellocgw (cs)

    hmmm, ok, written in a WTF-ery way, but this looks rather boring compared with LOLcode, at least at the user level.

  • muxecoid (unregistered) in reply to Severity One

    DAMNED I BE THAT

  • RockyMountainCoder (unregistered) in reply to caffeine

    That's beautiful.

    This guy deserves a WTF award just for that!

  • Doug (unregistered) in reply to ratchet freak

    Almost - $(document).ready fires before all page assets are loaded but after the DOM has been rendered.

    $(window).load() fires after all assets have loaded.

    so $(window).load() is jQuery's onLoad

  • Doug (unregistered) in reply to ratchet freak
    ratchet freak:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?
    runs the function when the document has finished loading (it's jquerry's onload)

    (My last comment was meant to be quote the above)

    Almost - $(document).ready fires before all page assets are loaded but after the DOM has been rendered.

    $(window).load() fires after all assets have loaded.

    so $(window).load() is jQuery's onLoad

  • the beholder (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Sure. It complains about a missing parenthesis.

  • chubertdev (cs) in reply to the beholder
    the beholder:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Sure. It complains about a missing parenthesis.

    The invalid code complains about itself?

    PEDANTICEPTION!

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to chubertdev
    chubertdev:
    the beholder:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Sure. It complains about a missing parenthesis.

    The invalid code complains about itself?

    The next step is to get the code to correct the errors that in finds in itself. Then any program you want to write, just write one, syntactically-incorrect line and the program will automatically correct itself to be a fully-functioning program meeting the desired requirements. What do you think AI is all about, anyway?

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to chubertdev
    chubertdev:
    the beholder:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Sure. It complains about a missing parenthesis.

    The invalid code complains about itself?

    The next step is to get the code to correct the errors that in finds in itself. Then any program you want to write, just write one, syntactically-incorrect line and the program will automatically correct itself to be a fully-functioning program meeting the desired requirements. What do you think AI is all about, anyway?

  • chubertdev (cs) in reply to Jay
    Jay:
    chubertdev:
    the beholder:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Sure. It complains about a missing parenthesis.

    The invalid code complains about itself?

    The next step is to get the code to correct the errors that in finds in itself. Then any program you want to write, just write one, syntactically-incorrect line and the program will automatically correct itself to be a fully-functioning program meeting the desired requirements. What do you think AI is all about, anyway?

    Skynet, evidently.

  • Oxin (unregistered)

    Thanks for all the lovely comments. It's truly an honor to be recognized for that terrible mess.

    Fyi, the 'diare' in 'diarescript' is actually part of my name.

  • ping floyd (unregistered)

    As a drunken hillbilly who rumbles when I have a fever dream, I am greatly offended.

  • Guest_boy (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Krunt (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Diarescript is more readable than javascript.

    Captcha: facilisi "Javascript is a facilisi of a real programming language."

  • Nmare (cs) in reply to Oxin
    Thanks for all the lovely comments. It's truly an honor to be recognized for that terrible mess.

    Fyi, the 'diare' in 'diarescript' is actually part of my name.

    Then your name is now a wtf!

    Grats for your shitty work! =)

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Krunt
    Krunt:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Diarescript is more readable than javascript.

    Captcha: facilisi "Javascript is a facilisi of a real programming language."

    That's not Javascript, it's jQuery.

  • Nagesh (cs) in reply to Oxin
    Oxin:
    Thanks for all the lovely comments. It's truly an honor to be recognized for that terrible mess.

    Fyi, the 'diare' in 'diarescript' is actually part of my name.

    You've created a shining magnificence. I am already feeling love in it.

  • Vivin (unregistered) in reply to caffeine
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Elliot Saba (unregistered) in reply to caffeine
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Kevin S (unregistered)

    The "a" in "diarescript" was a typo that kind of stuck.

    It looks more like "direscript".

  • caffeine (unregistered) in reply to Captcha:jumentum
    Comment held for moderation.
  • yuri (unregistered) in reply to Captcha:odio
    Comment held for moderation.
  • jarfil (unregistered)

    Love the THAT operator. Just imagine how handy it would be to have THAT in a language:

    NULL BE 1 VAR01 BE THAT VAR2 BE THAT VARIABLE003 BE THAT VAR_03B BE THAT

    With just a single change, you could initialize all variables to whatever value of NULL you may need. That's efficiency!

  • Kiyyik (unregistered) in reply to jarfil

    Nah, having to initialize each individual variable is inefficient. You need a THEM, viz:

    NULL BE 1 FOR (VAR01, VAR2, VARIABLE003, VAR_03B): ALL THEM BE THAT

  • Krunt (unregistered) in reply to anonymous
    anonymous:
    Krunt:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Diarescript is more readable than javascript.

    Captcha: facilisi "Javascript is a facilisi of a real programming language."

    That's not Javascript, it's jQuery.

    Please be kidding....

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to ping floyd
    ping floyd:
    As a drunken hillbilly who rumbles when I have a fever dream, I am greatly offended.

    I had a son who was a drunken hillbilly who rumbled when he had a fever dream once, and I assure you it was no laughing matter.

  • chubertdev (cs) in reply to Krunt
    Krunt:
    anonymous:
    Krunt:
    anonymous:
    Can somebody explain what "$(document).ready(function()" does?

    Diarescript is more readable than javascript.

    Captcha: facilisi "Javascript is a facilisi of a real programming language."

    That's not Javascript, it's jQuery.

    Please be kidding....

    Why? jQuery has different syntax. just because one technology is built on top of another doesn't mean that they're the same thing.

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