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Admin
Cool. Is this from a web dictionary or something?
Admin
Yeah, I'd like to see the site this is coming from. It would shed some light on what the actual WTF is (other than poor editing).
It could be that someone making this site just typed it into an acronym finder and copied the wrong entry, or it could be a coding error if it's being looked up by some script and copied onto the page (especially if it's in an anagram site), etc etc etc.
Still amusing to see, though. Poor Smokey and the rest of his band (Froggy on the mandolin, and...Animal on the drums?)
Admin
Just do a search for a semi-long and specific part of the text, like: "file format (a so called container) specified"
Google returns: http://www.isofter.com/glossary.htm
Admin
I found it. It's from an online glossary for DVD ripper software. Still live at the moment. Just google for some of the odd mix of keywords in the screenshot.
Admin
The word "forestry" in the summary is a link to the site in question.
Admin
Heh heh they've also got "mgp --> miles per gallon"
Admin
s/mgp/mpg/
Admin
er... s/mpg/mgp/
Admin
Admin
poor crap
Admin
Admin
Now that is just bad class design. I propose: toilet.Dump(Me.GetCrap()); toilet.Flush ();
But maybe the 'GetCrap()' function name should be something different.
Admin
Still bad.
Toilet.Add(Me.Dump()); Toilet.Flush();
Admin
Toilet.Add(Me.Excrete(Crap)) Toilet.Flush
Admin
Toilet.Add(Me.Dequeue()); try { Toilet.Flush(); } catch (OutputFlowException e) { Toilet.Plunge(); } finally { Toilet.Seat.PutDown(); }
Admin
The forestry comment seems to have copied directly from http://www.fao.org/docrep/v6530e/V6530E0f.htm
Admin
Admin
Since this code is for taking a dump, I don't think you want the seat up. Maybe the cover? I don't know why the code needs the Seat.PutDown() as it's redundant in this case. See the urinate section of the code.
Admin
Same thing, only much worse, happened on the original IBM PC user manual. Somebody must have decided the manual should have a Glossary. So IBM being a big corp, already had a glossary of computer terms. So they musta looked up "BIOS" and found something mainframe oriented, like "Big iron Operating System". Looked up "DISK" and found "800 pound rack with 14 inch platters". And so on. And they printed it jsut like that.
Admin
dorks ;p
captcha: TACOS!!
Admin
What's that old trick where you put clear plastic wrap across your friends toilet bowl, then pour laxatives into his drink?
Anyway, before we beat this dead horse again, let me point out the real WTF: Jake Vinson uses pink as his highlight color.
Admin
Laughing at this 'crap' has just reminded me why I'm single.
(And there's another reason right there on the line above.)
Admin
Almost... I'm thinking:
void TakeDump() { Toilet NearestToilet = (Toilet)this.Locate(Fixture.Bathroom.Toilet); while(!this.Colon.Empty()) { if(!this.At(NearestToilet)) this.SitOn(NearestToilet); try { Object Crap = this.Colon.Dequeue(); NearestToilet.Add(Crap); } catch(ConstipationException) { Medicine Needed = (Medicine)this.Locate(Medicine.Laxitive); this.Ingest(Needed); } } try { NearestToilet.Flush(); } catch(OutputFlowException) { this.Tasks.Enqueue(Toilet.Plunge); } this.StandUp(); }Of course, you need an overridden SitOn function for a Toilet type so that you automatically call Toilet.PutSeat(Down), this.TakeOff(Area.BelowWaist), etc, and mark down what you're sitting on so that this.StandUp() will call this.PutSeat(Down) and this.PutOn(Area.BelowWaist)... Also when the RunTasks reaches Toilet.Plunge it could result in this.Locate(Person.Boyfriend).Tasks.Enqueue(TaskIDontWantToDo)....
Admin
If you're going to go into that much detail, I hope you would want to have some kind of
this.bum.wipe(); this.standUp(); this.hands.wash();Otherwise, I hope you don't work at any restaurants I've ever gone to...
Admin
So, umm, I guess nobody paid attention to the link provided right in the text, namely "...that it had anything to do with forestry."
It seems to me that following that link to find the source text would be something on the order of infinitely easier than finding the magic words for Google.
Or should I not be visiting WorseThanFailure?
Admin
Come on, they're geeks. Do you really expect them to RTFA?
Admin
As I said, the StandUp function would check what you're sitting on and automatically deal with things as appropriate:
void StandUp() { if(this.SittingOn is Chair) { //... } //... else if(this.SittingOn is Toilet) { object TP = ((ToiletPaperDispenser)this.Locate(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispenser)).Dequeue(); this.Wipe(Orifice.Anal, TP); ((Toilet)this.SittingOn).Add(TP); StraightenLegs(); this.PutOn(Area.BelowWaist); if(this.WashesHands) {//This is intended as a generic person, and I'm fairly certain there are people that //will return false to the above... Sink NearestSink = (Sink)this.Locate(Fixture.Sink); this.Wash(Hands, NearestSink); } } //... }Although, now that I think about it, I should put this.StandUp() before NearestToilet.Flush(). Eh well, too late to go back and fix it.
Addendum (2007-05-22 15:35): Bah, changes to the code:
//... ToiletPaperDispenser TPDispenser = (ToiletPaperDispenser)this.Locate(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispenser); IBin DispenseIn = (IBin)this.Locate(Filter.Room(ThisOnly), Fixture.TrashRecepticle); if(DispenseIn == null) DispenseIn = (IBin)this.SittingOn; while(!this.IsClean(Orifice.Anal)) { object TP = TPDispenser.Dequeue(this.PreferredAmountFrom(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispenser)); this.Wipe(Orifice.Anal, TP); DispenseIn.Add(TP); } try { while(!this.IsClean(Orifice.Vaginal)) {//Not quite correct, but close enough... object TP = TPDispenser.Dequeue(this.PreferredAmountFrom(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispense)); this.Wipe(Orifice.Vaginal, TP); DispenseIn.Add(TP); } } catch(NullReferanceException) { //Not female, do nothing. } //...I've spent way too much time on this fake code now...
Admin
Admin
Too long, yet still not long enough my friend; check that spelling of 'reference'.
If you're going to be a weasel, please do it properly.
Admin
Indeed. /s/Dequeue/Pop/. It can't be the built-in stack, though, it needs to pop an array of TP squares depending on the amount preferred...
Admin
So, you ingest laxative sitting on the toilet, then stand up, wipe ass, and flush... ...only to minutes later sit down again in a real hurry.
I think this code is in use of some optimizing. At least you could do the this->stand_up(), if (this->ass_dirty) this->wipe_ass(); etc in the destructor, right?
Or if it turns out real messy when the laxative sets in, you should really call shower->execute(this);
Admin
Also, don't forget your exception handling, in case your TP stack is empty. And please don't just ignore the exception or you'll taint your threads.
Admin
No, no. It was very amusing. But maybe there should be a separate thread reading the newspaper during takeDump(). :)
Admin
After all, in order to ingest you have to actually have the medicine, so the Ingest function will call the Retrieve function, which will call the GoToLocation function, which will notice you're sitting and so call the StandUp function, which will wipe your hind end, etc. It then returns to GoToLocation and actually goes there, then it returns to retrieve which will pick it up, which then returns to the ingest and you actually take it. It then returns to TakeDump, which hits the end of the while loop's scope, checks the condition (!this.Colon.Empty()), finds it to be true (it isn't empty), and goes through the scope again. It then finds this is not on the toilet, and sends it back to the toilet (Again with SitOn calling GoToLocation, but since this is not sitting it won't call StandUp. Then it calls the TakeOff(Area.BelowWaist), sit down, etc). Then this.Colon.Dequeue is called, which waits for the laxative to set in rather than throw again. Then, in the code as written, you flush the toilet while still sitting on it, then wipe your bottom, stand up, put on pants, and wash hands. I realized in a later post that I should have swapped that and had you stand up before flushing.
Admin
Admin
There's a real problem in that there a race condition between the thread executing TakeDump and the separate thread in which the laxative is acting on this.Colon to allow a dequeue. In all likelihood, you'll have the following flow:
catch a ConstipationException, perform exception handler return to loop sit back on toilet try to dequeue from this.Colon, throw ConstipationException go fetch some more laxative and ingest it sit back on toilet try to dequeue from this.Colon, throw another ConstipationException [...] explode when all the laxative takes effect at once
You should set a flag with a timestamp recording the last time you took a laxative and how much you took, and make the exception handler a no-op unless a sufficient amount of time has passed.
Admin
If you read the whole post, you would see I did that. I stated "Then this.Colon.Dequeue is called, which waits for the laxative to set in rather than throw again." It just seems to me that Dequeue is where you need to keep track of wether you will still be constipated, as you can call the dequeue in other functions, like "TakeDumpInHole" for when you're camping or whatever.
Admin
Curse you all for making me LOL @work.
Admin
The Rails Way™:
toilet << @current_user.poop!
It disturbs me that I am joining in.
Admin
Oh, forgot to touch on this:
public class RestaurantWorker : Job { //Job has a Person Worker, which has a Job CurrentJob that is this. public virtual void ReturnToStation() { Sink NearestSink = Worker.GetLocation(Fixture.Sink); Worker.Wash(Limb.Hands, NearestSink); } } //SandwichMaker, GrillWorker, Cook, etc, derive from this. public class FoodHandler : RestaurantWorker { public override void ReturnToStation() { RestaurantWorker.ReturnToStation(); Worker.PutOn(((GloveDispenser)Worker.GetLocation(Fixture.GloveDispenser)).Pop(2)); } } //Waiter, RegisterWorker, etc, do not.So even if Worker.WashesHands == false (They don't wash after using the bathroom), upon returning to their station they must wash their hands. Personally, when I worked at Wendy's, I washed after going to the bathroom, walked down the hall, turned into the kitchen, and washed my hands again before putting on the gloves.
Again with the too much time in fake C# code...
Addendum (2007-05-22 18:10): Looks like I got some C++ in my C#... /s/RestaurantWorker.ReturnToStation()/base.ReturnToStation()/
Admin
I smell something bad here...
...it's that used toilet paper you dispensed in the bathroom's bin, simply because there was one available.
You should definitely be using only the toilet here.
Admin
Don't forget to acquire the toilet lock.
Admin
Perhaps I could implement a preferance setting, but there are a lot of people who choose to use the bathroom bin to dispose of toilet paper. I'm not entirely sure why, I think it's to prevent clogs.
There are plenty of problems with the code, I'm sure. Feel free to add to it. Maybe we should set up a community project on Codeplex or something? :)
Admin
Reminds me of a Wall Street Journal article discussing the history of the Northern Irish problem--which suddenly noted that "that brought the Individual Retirement Arrangement to the bargaining table." Dangers of overautomation...
Admin
What, you mean right above the link for Smokey The Bear's Band? I saw the link, I didn't click it, and I was also left wondering where this came from. The area between the and is supposed to be descriptive of the page linked to, though it seems that people have long forgotten that ("click here for information on Frobs" instead of "Visit the National Frob Institute for more information on Frobs" for example).
So pardon me if I thought that a link marked by the single word 'forestry' might link to a site about tree harvesting instead of the source material.
Admin
Admin
To all of you who posted Java programs for taking a dump
Admin
class Crap extends Feces {}
interface FecesProvider { Feces getFeces(); }
class CrapProvider implements FecesProvider { Crap getFeces(); }
interface FecesSink { void put(Feces toPut); }
class Toilet implements FecesSink { void put(Feces toPut); }
void main() { XmlReader reader = new XmlReader(crapConfiguration); FecesProviderFactory crapProviderFactory = FecesProviderFactory.create(new XmlSource(XmlReader));
FecesProvider crapProvider = crapProviderFactory.getProvider();
try{ toilet.put(crapProvider.getFeces()); toilet.flush(); catch(ToiletFullException exc) { pretendItsNotYou(); } catch(ToiletClosedException exc) { pretendItsNotYouEvenMore(); } catch(NoWaterException exc) { return; //no sense in pouring water on provider's hands } finally { for(Hand hand : ((Human)crapProvider).getHands()) { waterSink.pour( hand ); } } }
Now that's enterprisy.
Admin
[quote user="Erzengel"][quote user="Lemdina"][quote user="Erzengel"]
//... ToiletPaperDispenser TPDispenser = (ToiletPaperDispenser)this.Locate(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispenser); IBin DispenseIn = (IBin)this.Locate(Filter.Room(ThisOnly), Fixture.TrashRecepticle); if(DispenseIn == null) DispenseIn = (IBin)this.SittingOn; while(!this.IsClean(Orifice.Anal)) { object TP = TPDispenser.Dequeue(this.PreferredAmountFrom(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispenser)); this.Wipe(Orifice.Anal, TP); DispenseIn.Add(TP); } try { while(!this.IsClean(Orifice.Vaginal)) {//Not quite correct, but close enough... object TP = TPDispenser.Dequeue(this.PreferredAmountFrom(Fixture.Bathroom.ToiletPaperDispense)); this.Wipe(Orifice.Vaginal, TP); DispenseIn.Add(TP); } } catch(NullReferanceException) { //Not female, do nothing. } //...[/quote]Why dump the dirty TP in the trashcan where it'll stink up the room, rather than always flushing it in the toilet?
Admin
Congratulations, you just wrote the AI code for going poo.