• Pista (unregistered)

    Nope, I still don't like the Hanzo stories. They're still booooooooooooooooooooooring.

  • Blind Scorpio (unregistered)

    Frist?

  • (cs)

    For those of you not familiar with German topography: Hamburg is way up in the north west of Germany, and Dresden is in the east. The two cities are about 450-500 kilometers apart.

  • (cs)

    To put that Hamburg thing further in perspective, Munich is also in Germany, and the distance between them is about the distance between New York City and Cleveland, Ohio.

  • Anon (unregistered)

    but without the speedlimit on the "Autobahn" i can reach Dresden in 3 hours without jam. Not a week ;) We have cars and planes in Germany.

  • RFoxmich (unregistered) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    but without the speedlimit on the "Autobahn" i can reach Dresden in 3 hours without jam. Not a week ;) We have cars and planes in Germany.

    Yes but they are a green company...their techs are sent on bicycle.

  • (cs)

    The Hanzo stories have hit a new low point. Is Erik Gern just trolling?

  • (cs)

    We had the exact same issue with our printer at our campus (not in Germany though). The solution was that we searched a lot on the internets how to get to the secret ROM/reseting page of the printer, and after a few hours of search we found the super-secret key combo in one of the lost forgotten google caches.

    No more expensive service calls after that.

  • Pichu0102 (unregistered)

    "This is one of their stories."

    chung chung

  • (cs)
    "Exactly," Hanzo said. "We’re in IT. Like the ninjas in feudal Japan, we fight our share of monsters. They just live in our servers, cables, and routers."

    wat

    Like the ninjas in feudal Japan, we fight our share of monsters

    WAT?

    Seriously? This guy must be trolling. Once again, the Book of Five Rings applies to Samurai, not Ninjas. Second, I don't recall any monsters in feudal Japan (not actual ones anyways). This isn't fucking Naruto or some shit.

  • Balu (unregistered)

    I'm still waiting for the WTF in this story...?

    Captcha: damnum, those Hanzo stories!

  • Jaggerbush (unregistered)

    Oh Hanzo, how I loathe thee and your lack of proper geography.

    I.T. Folk are not samuri, ninja, or jedi knights.

    No, Hanzo. You're the lowest one on the totem pole,

    so take your stories and go watch Hasselhoff

  • (cs)

    A Hanzo post?! Noooooooooooo!

    (ok, now to actually read it)

  • (cs)

    I'm still waiting for the writer to notice that the state is called "Hessen" with an "n" at the end.

    Then again, he's probably living in New Yor.

  • Erik Gern AKA Erro' (unregistered)

    I'd like to remind you all of the Hanzo comic competition, see here, here and here.

    Your task for today is, of course, to enhance the scenery with items from today's story and post your drawings here. Thanks for participating!

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Jaggerbush
    Jaggerbush:
    Oh Hanzo, how I loathe thee and your lack of proper geography.

    I.T. Folk are not samuri, ninja, or jedi knights.

    No, Hanzo. You're the lowest one on the totem pole,

    so take your stories and go watch Hasselhoff

    +1

  • foo (unregistered) in reply to Rhywden
    Rhywden:
    I'm still waiting for the writer to notice that the state is called "Hessen" with an "n" at the end.

    Then again, he's probably living in New Yor.

    No, he's probably not living in Neu-Jork. (Hint: Places are spelled differently in different languages.) Since this is exactly the only positive thing to be said about these articles, please don't ruin it.

  • Balu (unregistered) in reply to Rhywden
    Rhywden:
    I'm still waiting for the writer to notice that the state is called "Hessen" with an "n" at the end.

    Well, I think it's "Hesse University", as in Hermann Hesse. And the term "Hesse University’s Dresden campus" tells me that "Hesse University" has more than one campus, one of them being in Dresden.

  • Herwig (unregistered)

    frist wtf poll: http://www.easypolls.net/poll.html?p=5284c072e4b0988a5cf28952

  • D8 (unregistered)

    Like a ninja in the night, Hanz M., AKA Hanzo, stalks across Hesse University’s Dresden campus. The go-to man in the IT department, he fixes the messes that others leave behind. This is one of his stories.

    "This is why we can’t have nice things," Gertrude said.

    Yes!

  • Tom (unregistered)

    In English, "Hessen" really is "Hesse", so that's actually right. Though that doesn't explain away the impossibility of a university having a campus in another state...

  • Anom nom nom (unregistered)

    Please throw Hanzo in the fires of Mountain Doom. Thank you.

  • Doug (unregistered)

    TRWTF - Why aren't they verifying operation before the first tech leaves?

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered)

    ROM = Reset Often Module

    That was the lamest pun I could think of, yet it's funnier than the story.

  • belzebub (unregistered)

    Ok, so they struggle with bad tech support. Hanzo goes medieval on tech support. Tech support gets tiny little bit better. What a genius. I bet nobody in the whole world has ever came with such a cunning plan. Wow. This Hanzo must be a mastermind of highest order!!

    But seriously - I, lowly nobody, have a few questions:

    • has anybody ever needed to "reset ROM" in a printer? What does it even means?

    • how does "coin-operated" public printer works? Like - I bring up my laptop, connect it, insert a coin, print, disconnect and go away? Or do I insert a coin, run like a hell to a school computer room and hope nobody starts printing with my money in the printer?

  • foo AKA fooo (unregistered) in reply to D8
    D8:
    Like a ninja in the night, Hanz M., AKA Hanzo, stalks across Hesse University’s Dresden campus. The go-to man in the IT department, he fixes the messes that others leave behind. This is one of his stories.

    "This is why we can’t have nice things," Gertrude said.

    Yes!

    You win the Internet today.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to Balu
    Balu:
    Rhywden:
    I'm still waiting for the writer to notice that the state is called "Hessen" with an "n" at the end.

    Well, I think it's "Hesse University", as in Hermann Hesse. And the term "Hesse University’s Dresden campus" tells me that "Hesse University" has more than one campus, one of them being in Dresden.

    It doesn't matter really - I suspect Eric just picked a few names at random for obfuscation. I don't even think there is in germany a decentralized university where a distinction like "Dresden Campus" would make sense.

    What I'm wondering is why the Hanzo stories still keep appearing. It's not as if the comments would show that the audience eagerly awaited another installment... rather the opposite :-)

  • (cs) in reply to Balu
    Balu:
    Rhywden:
    I'm still waiting for the writer to notice that the state is called "Hessen" with an "n" at the end.

    Well, I think it's "Hesse University", as in Hermann Hesse. And the term "Hesse University’s Dresden campus" tells me that "Hesse University" has more than one campus, one of them being in Dresden.

    As that particular university doesn't quite exist under that name, it sounds absolutely moronic to native speakers such as me. Because if it was named after that particular writer they'd call it "Herrmann Hesse University".

    And a university with more than one campus in Germany? That kind of monster university we don't even have in Berlin, Munich oder Hamburg. Maybe in the Ruhrgebiet where some universities have fusioned - but Eastern Germany? Certainly not.

  • Felix (unregistered) in reply to Erik Gern AKA Erro'
    Erik Gern AKA Erro':
    I'd like to remind you all of the Hanzo comic competition, see here, here and here.

    Your task for today is, of course, to enhance the scenery with items from today's story and post your drawings here. Thanks for participating!

    Oh god those are dangerous. Thanks man!

    Things to include in this one:

    • the techs, all sweaty, wearing bicycle clothing
    • in one of the tech's backpacks you can glimpse vestiges of a torn, incorrect map of Germany
    • Hanzo closely resembles Catbert in this one, makes threatening remarks about Gertrude's job security in the final panel
    • a large "I.T. CAN'T HELP WITH PRINTER ISSUES, CONTACT THE DEAN INSTEAD" sign near the printer

    Captcha "inhibeo", oh if only...

  • huppenzuppen (unregistered) in reply to belzebub
    belzebub:
    • how does "coin-operated" public printer works? Like - I bring up my laptop, connect it, insert a coin, print, disconnect and go away? Or do I insert a coin, run like a hell to a school computer room and hope nobody starts printing with my money in the printer?

    You send the job to the printer, which has a LCD where you can select it, insert your payment card (or coin, if that exists), and call the print job.

  • (cs) in reply to belzebub

    Let me introduce you to the print job queue. Each computer can send a print job to the printer without any payment happening.

    The printer has a queue of print jobs. Jobs need to be paid and authorized (good for printing secret stuff) before the printer will start processing it. The printer provides a menu to select the job to pay for, next to all the usual settings like contrast. It then communicates with the payment system to charge people for the job.

    belzebub:
    * how does "coin-operated" public printer works? Like - I bring up my laptop, connect it, insert a coin, print, disconnect and go away? Or do I insert a coin, run like a hell to a school computer room and hope nobody starts printing with my money in the printer?
  • Not amused guy (unregistered)

    All Hanzo stories are the worst. They are neither insightful nor funny. Neither are they real WTFs

    It looks to me like a collection of pseudo-wtfs that are used when there are no other/better materials available

    Therefore - please NO Hanzo Stories anymore.

    A guy reading tdwtf for years

  • huppenzuppen (unregistered) in reply to Rhywden
    Rhywden:
    And a university with more than one campus in Germany? That kind of monster university we don't even have in Berlin, Munich oder Hamburg. Maybe in the Ruhrgebiet where some universities have fusioned - but Eastern Germany? Certainly not.

    There is for example Universität Koblenz Landau with campus Koblenz and campus Landau. Or Hochschule Koblenz with campus Remagen.

  • Martin (unregistered)

    Not restarting printer after repair, not printing test page?

    Stupid!

  • (cs) in reply to Tom
    In English, "Hessen" really is "Hesse", so that's actually right. Though that doesn't explain away the impossibility of a university having a campus in another state...
    Ah, so the pre-anonymized version must be the University of Phoenix.
  • Jim the Tool (unregistered)

    Plez moar Hanzo stories. They are fun and interesting. And I can just imagine Gertrude and Hanzo doing it in the back room after hours. Getting all hot and bothered they kiss each other passionately and quickly undress each other. As Hanzo reaches down Gertrude's panties he sighs with pleasure. He's just discovered Gerturde's strap-on. He turns and bends, and Gertrude pegs him like a pro. "Oh Gerty, insert your coin" he cries...

    captcha: nisl: slang for a women wearing a strap-on using it to have anal sex with a man. Gertrude nisled Hanzo.

  • Balu (unregistered) in reply to Rhywden
    Rhywden:
    As that particular university doesn't quite exist under that name, it sounds absolutely moronic to native speakers such as me. Because if it was named after that particular writer they'd call it "Herrmann Hesse University".
    Well, I'm a native speaker, too, and it doesn't sound strange to me. It would sound worse if he wrote "Hessen University's Dresden campus". What's that supposed to be?

    I bet you watched House MD. even though there's not Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital?

  • Smug Unix User (unregistered)

    I am a programmer. I am not a ninja, samurai, or rock star. When I want to pretend I am other things I play a nice RPG. Some people write stories instead. As long as a throwing star doesn't make its way to the coin machine I don't see any harm.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to huppenzuppen
    huppenzuppen:
    There is for example Universität Koblenz Landau with campus Koblenz and campus Landau.
    Hmmm... looking at the poorly implemented internationalization of that college's homepage made me wonder if you had by pure chance identified the workplace of Hanzo and Getrtrude...
  • ANON (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    "Exactly," Hanzo said. "We’re in IT. Like the ninjas in feudal Japan, we fight our share of monsters. They just live in our servers, cables, and routers."

    wat

    Maybe he should RTFM, then he wouldn't have to fight.

    But then again it's Hanzo, he probably can't read.

  • Trixi (unregistered)

    At least the university of Dresden had a really WTF moment this week: they kicked out ALL their students via email.

    See http://www.spiegel.de/unispiegel/studium/rechner-panne-an-der-tu-dresden-37-000-studenten-exmatrikuliert-a-932881.html (in german).

  • Krunt (unregistered)

    I must have missed something, the story just ended. Where was the WTF? I was at least expecting the ROM reset procedure to be something as ridiculous as switching off the printer and waiting 15s before switching it back on.

    How is this God-awful story any different from every single tech support call I've made to SuddenLink?

    Stop with the Hanzo stories. Seriously. They're not funny and they're not interesting - and that's all the more offensive given the fact that they sound so completely fabricated.

  • hanzo (unregistered) in reply to Erik Gern AKA Erro'

    Have you had any success? Whilst I appreciate the idea, I unfortunately fail to find any pictures up to now. I hope you can help since that pic with Gertrudes sounds really cool!

  • fa2k (unregistered) in reply to Krunt
    Krunt:
    I must have missed something, the story just ended. Where was the WTF? I was at least expecting the ROM reset procedure to be something as ridiculous as switching off the printer and waiting 15s before switching it back on.
    Yeah expected that too. Or something worse. It would explain why the company was embarrassed to tell their customers how to do it, if it was something like connecting jumper wires, or if it displayed swearwords on the LCD. Anyway I suppose it`s a WTF that the company wouldn't tell them when it's that easy. Difficult to frame that WTF in an interesting and entertaining story though.
  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Second, I don't recall any monsters in feudal Japan (not actual ones anyways).
    Wasn't there that Giant Enemy Crab where you had to attack its weak point for massive damage while using real time weapon change?
  • Seriously, enough of Hanzo already! (unregistered) in reply to Not amused guy
    Not amused guy:
    All Hanzo stories are the worst. They are neither insightful nor funny. Neither are they real WTFs

    It looks to me like a collection of pseudo-wtfs that are used when there are no other/better materials available

    Therefore - please NO Hanzo Stories anymore.

    A guy reading tdwtf for years

    +1

  • Rnd( (unregistered)

    And it was the only printer on whole campus? And the employees were expected to pay with coins too?

    Really, I do like these type of stories, but Hanzo is just massive failure. Just go write a short stories or something...

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to Trixi
    Trixi:
    At least the university of Dresden had a really WTF moment this week: they kicked out ALL their students via email.

    See http://www.spiegel.de/unispiegel/studium/rechner-panne-an-der-tu-dresden-37-000-studenten-exmatrikuliert-a-932881.html (in german).

    And "Uni Spiegel" article is a wtf in its own right, as the Title "College sends out de-registration emails to all students" is plain wrong. Some software erroneously sent out automated account expiry emails to all students and at least some employees, mentioning the de-registration only as one of several possible reasons for why the account will expire.

    Sadly you see misleading titles like that more and more often these days.

  • Thomas (unregistered)

    About the geography: it's not about distance (I still vote for Dusseldorf Heine U), but schedule. Traveling salesman, anyone?

    amet = he would love (something funny, I guess)

  • Valued Service (unregistered)

    Wondering if I should just start skipping the article.

    I get more entertainment out of the comments these days.

Leave a comment on “Printer Futility”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article