The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

mfah:
Ken B:
So is 99% of Harry Potter. It could have been condensed to:
"My name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The rest is just there to make the story more interesting.

:-)
No Harry, I AM your father! Bwahahahahahaha!

"But, Professor Dumbledore, you told me that he-who-must-not-be-named killed my father! And what's this about Hermione being my twin sister?"

"Harry Potter, to Hogwarts this year, must not go."

"I'm not afraid of the Dark Forest!" "You will be. You will!"

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Ken B:
how far backwards do you have to go from "Windows 2000" all the way back to "Windows 7"?

Everything you need to know about product naming can be learned by studying the Gruntmaster 6000. (Hint: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dilbert_(TV_series))

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Finder Seeker:
Dan:
Finder Seeker:
Oh, that's right, back in the dark ages people thought only one organization was allowed to write software, and even though it costs about a penny to make another CD, software can't be any good unless you pay several hundred dollars for it.

Plus the cost of the programmers who supplied something to put on that $.01 CD. Or do people work full-time for free on your planet?
On my planet, some of the people who love good software are willing to work for free to make it better. After all, they're usually adding a feature for their own benefit, and having done so, there is no additional cost in sharing it with a few billion other Earthlings.

Those who think software development means a team of project managers, requirements analysts, graphic designers, compliance gatekeepers, meeting schedulers, note takers, status updaters, facilitators, communicators, presentation sizzlers, signoff refusers, teambuilding exercisers, diversity enforcers, committee members, supervisors, managers, more managers, and oh yes a developer -- need to get paid to tolerate this crap.

And some more managers!! In fact, it seems almost everyone is a manager. Administration Manager, Release Manager, Change Manager, Program Manager, Change Manage, Sales Manager, Client Manager, Environment Manager (I think this is the cleaner), Ass-Wiping Manager, Veto Manager, Coffee Manager....Development Support Assistant (clue: this is the person that does all the work, and we all know that people who do work couldn't be managers)

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

"I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. I hope you head falls off at an inconvenient moment!"

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Jerry:
TopCod3r, putting the F in WTF.

I would have said the T. As in "What!?! Troll? Fuck!" Which is the reaction somebody has when they write a lengthy reply to TopCod3r only to realize that they fell for his trolling.

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

I would have thought that "newly hired" + "being nominated for a task" = "run! RUN! DONT STOP! RUN!!"

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Anon:
Bim Job:
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

"I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. I hope you head falls off at an inconvenient moment!"

What would a "convenient moment" be?

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
Anon:
Bim Job:
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

"I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. I hope you head falls off at an inconvenient moment!"

What would a "convenient moment" be?

Well, it's a stretch, i give you, but maybe... something like this?

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

sino:
Bim Job:
Anon:
Bim Job:
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

"I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. I hope you head falls off at an inconvenient moment!"

What would a "convenient moment" be?
Well, it's a stretch, i give you, but maybe... something like this?

Whoopsie, sorry, fixed that link back up.

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Chris Haas:
An Access database for a company with 2,000 users? Get more than 10 concurrent connections and you're hosed. Been there too many times.

Depends how you make it. You can also send pure SQL to an Access database. That makes it reasonably fast. And 10 users in the same second is not so bad at all.

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Addison:
Anon:
Err, are you sure? It's not 2000 users constantly updating, it's 2000 entries in a DB over an 8 hour work day. I think the choice of Access for this rudimentary task would be fine.

Wouldn't most of them do it in the first few days? If it takes 10 minutes each and 1000 people do it in the first 3 days that means 7 connections are open at once, on average. Go much above that average and you've got over 10 connections- more than a crappy server with a crappy access database can probably handle.

Given the way they did it, they only had one connection open (the phone) and per user it took several minutes to handle. If Access cannot do the same then I don't know much...

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Cad Delworth:
In 1999, any M$ shop which was MS-only would probably not have heard of Apache, PHP, or MySQL: that's why.
And even if the said 1999-vintage M$ shop had heard of Apache, PHP, and MySQL, those pieces of software would be regarded by management as:

'Beardy sandal-wearer' software.

'Suspicious' and/or 'unproven.'

Subject to hacker attacks or otherwise 'not secure enough.'

Not compatible with the company's corporate software.

And in all fairness, in 1999, at least 2.5 of those would have been correct!

(Come on, don't you remember just how bad PHP and MySQL used to be?)

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Of course, by that logic, the company would save a fortune by making their employees dress like they're homeless and paying them in crushed aluminum cans.

It's hard to work when all your coworkers are pushing around shopping carts rattling with crushed cans and screaming obscenities at the invisible gnomes that keep stealing their hat.

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Ken B:
mfah:
Ken B:
So is 99% of Harry Potter. It could have been condensed to:
"My name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The rest is just there to make the story more interesting.

:-)
No Harry, I AM your father! Bwahahahahahaha!
"But, Professor Dumbledore, you told me that he-who-must-not-be-named killed my father! And what's this about Hermione being my twin sister?"

"Harry Potter, to Hogwarts this year, must not go."

"I'm not afraid of the Dark Forest!" "You will be. You will!"

<wailing> Oh what does it all mean?

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Using VB and an Access data file I can put a finished, polished and fully tested system like this in about an hour and a half (maybe 3 hours with extensive error handling and testing).

Using PHP, Apache and MySQL, you will get a much more robust system that you can expand upon. It will also take you more than a day to write, and much more to test.

One is not better than the other, they both have their places. For lightweight, one time use systems, VB+Access are cheaper in development cost for the same result.

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

....wow. I would have gone back to work beside Miranda and then called them on my cell phone to have them ask Miranda if she was still enjoying my program, lol.

Hassan: "Hi, this is Hassan again. I'm here with Miranda who is in charge of these surveys. Would you like to ask her if she's still enjoying my program?"

Sherpa: "......um......." click

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

I guess the story proves the old adage. If Mohammad can't go to the mountain, then the mountain must come to Mohammad.(isn't that how it works?)

SQLDave · 2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Robert:
The only thing I could think while reading this was "Hassan chop!"

Ditto

2010-03-16 Reply Admin

Gaspar:
Using VB and an Access data file I can put a finished, polished and fully tested system like this in about an hour and a half (maybe 3 hours with extensive error handling and testing).
Using PHP, Apache and MySQL, you will get a much more robust system that you can expand upon. It will also take you more than a day to write, and much more to test.

One is not better than the other, they both have their places. For lightweight, one time use systems, VB+Access are cheaper in development cost for the same result.

I dunno. I've hacked together plenty of one-offs in PHP and some random database in a few hours. (Once even PHP+Access.) Unless you have to use ASP for some reason, or you just don't know any other languages, PHP is a better choice. Apache and MySQL each install very quickly if you don't need to configure anything - although on NT4 here it might be hard to source compatible versions, and I'd just live with whatever was on it at the time.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

frits:
I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.

I still don't get that slogan, "I'm a personal computer and Windows 7 was my idea". Huh?

Did someone in marketing leave out a word?:

"I'm a PC user and Windows 7 was my idea"

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Nick:
frits:
I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.
I still don't get that slogan, "I'm a personal computer and Windows 7 was my idea". Huh?
Did someone in marketing leave out a word?:

"I'm a PC user and Windows 7 was my idea"

I'm a Mac and Irish Girl was my idea. ... or she was Scottish Girl? Hmmm... Anyway, you can't have her, but only hire her, and only using my AppStore.

CYA

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

swordfishBob:
I thought they wouldn't deploy the app as it embarassingly demonstrates what could be achieved with the existing technology.

Well they didn't. Not the way the author intended. And they got the best of both worlds.

Miranda (any relationship to User Friendly?) got a wonderful data entry app, enhancing her productivity no end.

And by keeping the app practically secret, management spared themselves the embarrassment due to not having thought of it.

Captcha: acsi - Atari Computer System Interface

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

TopCod3r:
Nice story. I'm glad they found his application useful. It goes to show that if you take initiative you can make a name for yourself even in a large company.
I remember writing an application like this back in 2000... using ASP and Windows NT. In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. For one thing it offers much more flexibility. A big problem I have with ASP.NET is it does not allow my development team to conform to the standards I created for how to write a web application. This makes it hard for me to educate the junior developers on my team about proper module design.

The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Thankfully without using code behind we can submit multiple forms to different aspx pages, and also are able to use  directives again, thus un-crippling ASP.NET back to the functionality that was available in ASP.

(Don't get me started on viewstate, which is a reason I have outlawed the use of ASP.NET controls, and recommended the use of HTML controls instead. That discussion is for another time though. I could probably write a book on that one, or at least a codeproject article.)

Ah yes, another person that thinks declaring something as outlawed means... Oh, never mind...

TopCod3r:
Actually MVC was something that I had a hand in inventing many years ago, from some articles I wrote both internally in my company and also online, although it has been changed quite a bit from my original idea.

I invented the Internet, only no one knows about and it was changed quite a bit from my original idea... My idea was much better...

Just couldn't resist the troll. :(

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Youve been doing your math in SQL server again havent you?

Captcha: ingenium - when making skin-flicks with a genie

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Nick:
frits:
I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.
I still don't get that slogan, "I'm a personal computer and Windows 7 was my idea". Huh?
Did someone in marketing leave out a word?:

"I'm a PC user and Windows 7 was my idea"

You're thinking too much about it. I mean, come on, claiming window tiling and browsing with privacy as great new features? If not Windows 7, then certainly this marketing campaign was the idea of a PC.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Finder Seeker:
everyone cheered at the chance to get a free copy of the office software
Ahem... http://download.openoffice.org/
Oh, that's right, back in the dark ages people thought only one organization was allowed to write software, and even though it costs about a penny to make another CD, software can't be any good unless you pay several hundred dollars for it.

I've used OpenOffice and seen others use it. After seeing things like, "oh, you moved your PPT (or whatever OO calls it) to a thumbdrive so you can display it on a different computer and btw, all those objects you thought you embedded, we really only linked to them, so you're hosed" just made things wonderful. I presume they fixed that within the last 3 years, but at the time, it was a MAJOR surprise to me that it couldn't do a feature that MS Office had been doing for years.

the real wtf fool · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Ken B:
DOA:
Bob:
"Go away, or I shall replace you with a very small shell script"
Now I've got to get this on a t-shirt and wear it at work.
I see no smiley, so just in case...
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/frustrations/374d/

(Sorry, I couldn't put it in as a URL, as that tripped the spam filter.)

Dammit that trips the pron filter here. Enjoy your unigender t shirts...

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

You get what you pay for:
Finder Seeker:
everyone cheered at the chance to get a free copy of the office software
Ahem... http://download.openoffice.org/
Oh, that's right, back in the dark ages people thought only one organization was allowed to write software, and even though it costs about a penny to make another CD, software can't be any good unless you pay several hundred dollars for it.

I've used OpenOffice and seen others use it. After seeing things like, "oh, you moved your PPT (or whatever OO calls it) to a thumbdrive so you can display it on a different computer and btw, all those objects you thought you embedded, we really only linked to them, so you're hosed" just made things wonderful. I presume they fixed that within the last 3 years, but at the time, it was a MAJOR surprise to me that it couldn't do a feature that MS Office had been doing for years.

Sounds like a classic case of user error - as they say, a bad workman blames his tools. If you don't like the default settings then change them, genius.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Nick:
frits:
I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.
I still don't get that slogan, "I'm a personal computer and Windows 7 was my idea". Huh?
Did someone in marketing leave out a word?:

"I'm a PC user and Windows 7 was my idea"

Tell Apple, they started it.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

You get what you pay for:
Finder Seeker:
everyone cheered at the chance to get a free copy of the office software
Ahem... http://download.openoffice.org/
Oh, that's right, back in the dark ages people thought only one organization was allowed to write software, and even though it costs about a penny to make another CD, software can't be any good unless you pay several hundred dollars for it.

I've used OpenOffice and seen others use it. After seeing things like, "oh, you moved your PPT (or whatever OO calls it) to a thumbdrive so you can display it on a different computer and btw, all those objects you thought you embedded, we really only linked to them, so you're hosed" just made things wonderful. I presume they fixed that within the last 3 years, but at the time, it was a MAJOR surprise to me that it couldn't do a feature that MS Office had been doing for years.

I had a similar frustration with OO Impress (their version of Powerpoint) a few months ago. It turns out that there is no way to pass command line parameters to an external program that is triggered when you click on something in your presentation. It's a trick we use all the time to synch up some external hardware with the presentation. Works fine in Powerpoint, impossible in Impress. And their community forums was absolutely useless for trying to get help.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Sounds like a classic case of user error - as they say, a bad workman blames his tools. If you don't like the default settings then change them, genius.

Or I'll just not waste my time with crap software and use MS Office - like most everyone else.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

This wasn't in 1999 though, it says it was in 2006.

frits · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Ah yes. Another vanity "featured comment".

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Lurker Indeed:
Anonymous:
Sounds like a classic case of user error - as they say, a bad workman blames his tools. If you don't like the default settings then change them, genius.

Or I'll just not waste my time with crap software and use MS Office - like most everyone else.

You clearly haven't "upgraded" to Office 2007 yet.

Jaime · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Bob Wankin:
This wasn't in 1999 though, it says it was in 2006.

1999 came from me in a previous post. I picked that date to refute the "outdated server won't be able to run the web app" idea. Windows NT 4.0 and Office 97 would have both been the current versions of the respective products in 1999, so "outdated" wouldn't have applied that year. It always strikes me funny that we could run apps that were accessed by 2000 people back in 1999 without a problem, but today people think it is impossible to run an app for 2000 people using eleven year old hardware and software. Of course, I wouldn't recommend running new software on eleven year old hardware, or relying on eleven year old hardware not to fail, but it will perform exactly as it did eleven years ago.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Cad Delworth:
In 1999, any M$ shop... 1999-vintage M$ shop

I think your keyboard is malfunctioning.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
dogbrags:
TopCod3r:
In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

Well, to be honest, this is the famed troll of TDWTF, TopCod3r.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Gaspar:
Using VB and an Access data file I can put a finished, polished and fully tested system like this in about an hour and a half (maybe 3 hours with extensive error handling and testing).
Using PHP, Apache and MySQL, you will get a much more robust system...

I am amused at the assertions contained in this threadlet. Robustness does not necessarily come from the technology used - you can design a crappy application, or a good one, in either Access or PHP.

Using "MySQL" and "Robust" in the same sentence is amusing, and along with the assertion that Access is acceptable for anything demonstrates a certain level of naivette. Spend some time and investigate the pros and cons of other available packages. The only time you'd ever use MySQL for a new project is if you planned to deploy to one certain webhost that did not offer anything else, or if you already have major infrastructure that is already MySQL. There are far better choices than both Access and MySQL for webapps, even those one-offs that "take an hour and a half".

BTW - give me a database schema and a half hour (30 minutes) and using PostgreSQL and Django I'll have a web app for you.

Mason Wheeler · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
dogbrags:
Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

You do know that the term "trolling" originally comes from a fishing technique, right?

Mason Wheeler · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

JP:
Using "MySQL" and "Robust" in the same sentence is amusing, and along with the assertion that Access is acceptable for anything demonstrates a certain level of naivette. Spend some time and investigate the pros and cons of other available packages. The only time you'd ever use MySQL for a new project is if you planned to deploy to one certain webhost that did not offer anything else, or if you already have major infrastructure that is already MySQL. There are far better choices than both Access and MySQL for webapps, even those one-offs that "take an hour and a half".
BTW - give me a database schema and a half hour (30 minutes) and using PostgreSQL and Django I'll have a web app for you.

Why does Firebird get no respect? It's an industrial-strength open-source database that's ridiculously easy to set up, but no one ever talks about it.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Bim Job:
dogbrags:
TopCod3r:
In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"

Jesus Bim Job, we know you're stupid but failing at the most basic level of reading comprehension is a new low even for you. If you're trolling, that's sad, but if you honestly read the above post as "hope you catch something [like herpes]" then you're an idiot, plain and simple. He meant "hope you catch something" as in catching a fish with his troll-bait.

Let's see some examples:

Example 1: "Fishing today? Hope you catch something!".

Example 2: "Fishing today? Hope you get gonorrhea you fish-fucking asshole!".

See, example 2 is you. Example 1 is us. Now do you see why we don't want you around? Exactly, because you're an idiot.

DWalker59 · 2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Finder Seeker:
everyone cheered at the chance to get a free copy of the office software
Ahem... http://download.openoffice.org/
Oh, that's right, back in the dark ages people thought only one organization was allowed to write software, and even though it costs about a penny to make another CD, software can't be any good unless you pay several hundred dollars for it.

Oh sure, the OpenOffice.Org spreadsheet that has a complete object model that matches the code I have written for Excel, AND has the Solver add-in, AND has links to external databases, AND lets me store 10 years worth of daily stock prices horizontally, one column per market day, AND has add-ins for real-time updating stock prices, AND ...

Or, maybe not...

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Bim Job:
dogbrags:
TopCod3r:
In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"
Jesus Bim Job, we know you're stupid but failing at the most basic level of reading comprehension is a new low even for you. If you're trolling, that's sad, but if you honestly read the above post as "hope you catch something [like herpes]" then you're an idiot, plain and simple. He meant "hope you catch something" as in catching a fish with his troll-bait.

Let's see some examples:

Example 1: "Fishing today? Hope you catch something!".

Example 2: "Fishing today? Hope you get gonorrhea you fish-fucking asshole!".

See, example 2 is you. Example 1 is us. Now do you see why we don't want you around? Exactly, because you're an idiot. How's the Missus?

FTFY

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Where's the Wednesday WTF? Seems like everyone is suffering from WTF withdrawal and flaming everyone.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Bim Job:
dogbrags:
TopCod3r:
In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"
Jesus Bim Job, we know you're stupid but failing at the most basic level of reading comprehension is a new low even for you. If you're trolling, that's sad, but if you honestly read the above post as "hope you catch something [like herpes]" then you're an idiot, plain and simple. He meant "hope you catch something" as in catching a fish with his troll-bait.

Let's see some examples:

Example 1: "Fishing today? Hope you catch something!".

Example 2: "Fishing today? Hope you get gonorrhea you fish-fucking asshole!".

See, example 2 is you. Example 1 is us. Now do you see why we don't want you around? Exactly, because you're an idiot.

See children, these are two fine examples of trolling. You may notice that TopCod3r didn't catch anything today, maybe because his skills got rusty and the prey was aware of his intent, but most likely it is because he isn't the REAL T0pCod3r (with a zero. Or was he TopC0der?)

Bim Job on the other hand was extremely successful. By playing dumb he managed to catch quite a big bite in little time. Watch that and learn to avoid it, because it seems that biting a troll is bad for your teeth. And for your ego, once you finds out it was a troll.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

the beholder:
Anonymous:
Bim Job:
dogbrags:
TopCod3r:
In many ways I think that ASP is better than ASP.NET. The biggest culprit of this is code behind, I essentially have outlawed the use of code behind since it encourages you to write spaghetti code. I say essentially outlawed because if you really need to you can put in a request to the architecture group and it can be approved on a case-by-case basis if you need it.

Nice troll. Hope you catch something.
I've never understood why disagreeing with a paragraph written by somebody else, whether or not they are a "troll," would induce a passive-aggressive desire for something, anything, a virus maybe, to attack them.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Say after me: "I'm sorry, but you're totally wrong. How's the Missus?"
Jesus Bim Job, we know you're stupid but failing at the most basic level of reading comprehension is a new low even for you. If you're trolling, that's sad, but if you honestly read the above post as "hope you catch something [like herpes]" then you're an idiot, plain and simple. He meant "hope you catch something" as in catching a fish with his troll-bait.

Let's see some examples:

Example 1: "Fishing today? Hope you catch something!".

Example 2: "Fishing today? Hope you get gonorrhea you fish-fucking asshole!".

See, example 2 is you. Example 1 is us. Now do you see why we don't want you around? Exactly, because you're an idiot.
See children, these are two fine examples of trolling. You may notice that TopCod3r didn't catch anything today, maybe because his skills got rusty and the prey was aware of his intent, but most likely it is because he isn't the REAL T0pCod3r (with a zero. Or was he TopC0der?)

Bim Job on the other hand was extremely successful. By playing dumb he managed to catch quite a big bite in little time. Watch that and learn to avoid it, because it seems that biting a troll is bad for your teeth. And for your ego, once you finds out it was a troll.

[image]

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Well as long as we're reciting anecdotal stories as if they apply to everyone, I've been using OpenOffice for years and never had any trouble with it. No, I don't use it to develop complicated "applications"; I have programming languages and real databases for that. But for a basic office suite that opens damn near everything (including MS word documents that MS word won't open any more) it does just fine. And it's free. So you don't have to waste hours keeping track of licenses when you deploy it for everyone.

And oh yes it runs on everything, not just proprietary platforms.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

I recall using NT4.0 with 96 Mb on a P133. At the time it was quite usable. Later, NT4.0 and Office 97 on a P200 with 128 Mb ram was screaming (for its time).

So you probably meant to say "with such obsolete hardware and software they struggled to keep up in the days of Windows XP and Office 200x."

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

foxyshadis:
Gaspar:
Using VB and an Access data file I can put a finished, polished and fully tested system like this in about an hour and a half (maybe 3 hours with extensive error handling and testing).
Using PHP, Apache and MySQL, you will get a much more robust system that you can expand upon. It will also take you more than a day to write, and much more to test.

One is not better than the other, they both have their places. For lightweight, one time use systems, VB+Access are cheaper in development cost for the same result.
I dunno. I've hacked together plenty of one-offs in PHP and some random database in a few hours. (Once even PHP+Access.) Unless you have to use ASP for some reason, or you just don't know any other languages, PHP is a better choice. Apache and MySQL each install very quickly if you don't need to configure anything - although on NT4 here it might be hard to source compatible versions, and I'd just live with whatever was on it at the time.

ASP is not a language.

You have your choice of languages to control ASP output, including javascript.

Javascript > PHP.

That is all.

2010-03-17 Reply Admin

Stop using MS-Access (ie. MS-Jet) for web applications

Even Microsoft says so: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/q303528/ "Microsoft Jet is not intended for use with high-stress server applications, high-concurrency server applications, or 24 hours a day, seven days a week server applications."

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/222135/en-us "When you need unlimited users, 24x7 support, and ACID transactions, Microsoft strongly recommends that you use Microsoft SQL Server with Internet Information Server (IIS)."

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