• (cs)

    I always wear rubber gloves when doing server work.

    In order to protect myself from a VIRUS.

  • Accalia.de.Elementia (unregistered)

    Given the morning reading habits of TDWTF readers, I estimate a 37% probability that you, dear reader, first read this article while in the restroom.

    I further estimate that at least one you who regularly work in a server room will investigate the plumbing of your building to determine the possibility of this happening to you.

  • Damien (unregistered)

    About half way through, I kept reading "server room" as "sewer room" - seemed apt.

  • (cs)

    Also benefits from reducing likelihood of getting shocked. Just imagine if he was in the server room when the event happened. He would have been traumatized for life.

  • Ralph (unregistered)

    Finally something worse than JavaScript.

  • George (unregistered)

    Wimp! Just hose everything off and you're back in business.

  • Bob (unregistered)

    But... but... did he ever find some place where he could go to the bathroom? Don't leave us in suspense like that!

  • (cs) in reply to Bob

    No. In fact, he never went to the bathroom again. Would you?

  • Jeff (unregistered)

    We've been working on a new product. We call it the "tactile web". It's for those sites in the new .xxx domain, if you follow my drift. Using a proprietary advancement on Virtual Reality technology, it turns web pages into simulations indistinguishable from the real thing.

    Anyway, it looks like someone hooked it up to one end of a trans-oceanic cable.

  • Unicorn #8157 (unregistered)

    NOPE. New job. New city. New planet.

  • Greybeard (unregistered)

    The COBOL programmers' lament: We used to be the high priests in the castle. Now we're reduced to cleaning the crap out of Microsoft's tubes.

    Be careful what you wish for.

  • NBil;l (unregistered)

    My bnropthewr is asucjh a pervc@! I nevber touycjh hias keuybpoards witrhouit weasribng glopves.

  • techwrench (unregistered) in reply to Ralph

    not so sure.... On the same level maybe. :-)

  • Leo (unregistered)

    Offal: I don't think that word means what you think it means.

    Or else that's a really weird sewer.

  • Tom (unregistered)
    First, the email server died. Then the web. And database.
    This is why you're not supposed to put the web server and the database server in the same server room.

    At least I guess that's why. I never did really get that.

  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to Damien
    Damien:
    About half way through, I kept reading "server room" as "sewer room" - seemed apt.
    You mean there's a difference? I've always had trouble pronouncing Rs anyway.
  • Abico (unregistered) in reply to Leo
    Leo:
    Offal: I don't think that word means what you think it means.

    Or else that's a really weird sewer.

    Might explain why it got backed up.

  • (cs) in reply to Leo

    Read the HTML comments. ;)

  • Jeremy (unregistered)

    I'm too scared to click today's cornify link. What if it isn't unicorns that spew all over the page?

  • (cs)

    I'm glad that "bullet" was put in quotes to make it more clear that he didn't dodge a real bullet but rather a metaphorical bullet.

  • Cawwl (unregistered)

    "... and ovaww in this cawwnaww we'll need a sewwveww wwoom. Can you get me those blueprints by Thawwsday?"

  • (cs) in reply to Ralph
    Ralph:
    Finally something worse than JavaScript.
    PHP?
  • (cs) in reply to Tom

    We have the main drain-pipe (with a flimsy inspection plate on it) for the factory roof come though the corner of the server room. When we have storms it literally groans under the huge head of pressure.

    A few months ago a different (potable water) pipe burst in the ceiling and rained into the server room. Turns out Dell racks are pretty waterproof from above as we had no real damage.

    I was really surprised that the drain-pipe wasn't the culprit of our near-disaster. Why the hell does it even run inside anyway...

  • Kabwla (unregistered) in reply to Ralph

    Just as crappy though.

  • (cs) in reply to Bob
    Bob:
    But... but... did he ever find some place where he could go to the bathroom? Don't leave us in suspense like that!
    He added to the pile?
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Ralph
    Ralph:
    Finally something worse than JavaScript.

    IDK, JavaScript is pretty bad...

  • Canonymous Oward (unregistered)

    Well, at least he did not have to cross the street.

  • (cs) in reply to Lockwood
    Lockwood:
    Bob:
    But... but... did he ever find some place where he could go to the bathroom? Don't leave us in suspense like that!
    He added to the pile?
    My thought exactly
  • Canonymous Oward (unregistered) in reply to TheRider
    TheRider:
    Lockwood:
    Bob:
    But... but... did he ever find some place where he could go to the bathroom? Don't leave us in suspense like that!
    He added to the pile?
    My thought exactly

    Come on. When there will be the next time when you can literally shit all over the server room and live to tell about it.

  • qbolec (unregistered)

    Instead of gloves, wellingstons might be more useful

  • Bryan (unregistered) in reply to Accalia.de.Elementia
    Accalia.de.Elementia:
    Given the morning reading habits of TDWTF readers, I estimate a 37% probability that you, dear reader, first read this article while in the restroom.

    I further estimate that at least one you who regularly work in a server room will investigate the plumbing of your building to determine the possibility of this happening to you.

    Where I work this can happen. The server room was formerly a shower. The water pipes were cut and capped, but they simply covered over the drain. It's directly under the rack with nothing more than plywood covering it. Some days this worries me.

  • macmac (unregistered)

    pretty sure it was just a php error.

  • pantsman (unregistered) in reply to macmac
    macmac:
    pretty sure it was just a php error.

    When someone tells you it helps them to "get sh*t done" ...

  • John (unregistered) in reply to Ralph
    Ralph:
    Finally something worse than JavaScript.
    You've never seen PL/I or JPL, have you? ;-)
  • TheSHEEEP (unregistered)

    Okay, not what kind of sh*tty comment is not yet present. Ahhh... yes...

    Now THAT's the real sh*t!

  • TheSHEEEP (unregistered)

    Also... is every article here ridden with unicorns?

  • Pista (unregistered)

    Now this story puts the "broken pipe" problem into an entirely different light :-)

  • (cs) in reply to Leo
    Leo:
    Offal: I don't think that word means what you think it means.

    Or else that's a really weird sewer.

    Not so much a sewer as a pâté pipeline.

  • Ben Jammin (unregistered) in reply to Canonymous Oward
    Canonymous Oward:
    TheRider:
    Lockwood:
    Bob:
    But... but... did he ever find some place where he could go to the bathroom? Don't leave us in suspense like that!
    He added to the pile?
    My thought exactly

    Come on. When there will be the next time when you can literally shit all over the server room and live to tell about it.

    I can barely stand going in a porta-potty, much less a room covered in the stuff.

  • (cs) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    Read the HTML comments. ;)
    Maybe, but in modern usage, "offal" is normally used only for, um, parts. That is, animal internal organs. That is, livers, kidneys, guts, and so on, but also gristle, sinews, tendons, and assorted other bits you wouldn't eat.

    The confusion here is not helped by the general aversion that North Americans south of the 49th parallel have for eating offal, except (perhaps) liver. I don't entirely understand it, but it did mean, when I lived over there, that I could go to a local butcher and get beef kidneys really cheaply, because my wife and I were about the only people who would buy them, and it was better to sell them to us for fifty cents a pound than just throw them away.

    And the more unusual meaning for 'offal', rubbish / refuse, does not mean 'sewage'.

    From Wiktionary: offal (uncountable)

    1. The rejected or waste parts of a butchered animal.
    2. The internal organs of an animal other than a bird, these organs being used as food.
    3. A dead body.
    4. Carrion.
    5. That which is thrown away as worthless or unfit for use; refuse; rubbish.
  • Some sick puppy (unregistered)

    Gives new meaning to "Freshly rolled logs".

    eeewwwwwww

  • some dude in Europa (unregistered)

    That just now was the blandest tasting marmelade roll I ever had.

  • Valrandir (unregistered) in reply to Ralph

    Javascript is great, JQuery is the plague. Java should not exists.

  • Doozerboy (unregistered)

    Hands up.

    Who thought the story was going to feature florian finding someone taking a shit in the server room?

    Preferably his pointy-haired boss?

  • (cs) in reply to Steve The Cynic

    I agree, it's rarely used in the context of excretory waste, but it can broadly mean waste (its linguistic roots point towards "things that are removed/cut-off/disposed of"). I spent some time with an etymology dictionary making sure I could get away with it. I'm not going to claim that it's an accurate use of the word, however:

    1. It's close enough
    2. The intended meaning is clear from context
    3. Most English speakers are unfamiliar with the term anyway
    4. It makes for a fun sentence

    Let's be honest, until someone submits a story that involves an explosion at a sausage factory, I'm not going to have much chance to use "awful geyser of offal" in a sentence.

    //I also was 100% certain someone would call me out on it, hence including an HTML comment.

  • Hint (unregistered) in reply to Steve The Cynic
    Steve The Cynic:
    1. The rejected or waste parts of a butchered animal. 2. The internal organs of an animal other than a bird, these organs being used as food. 3. A dead body. 4. Carrion. 5. That which is thrown away as worthless or unfit for use; refuse; rubbish.
    When the dictionary gives 5 definitions, that does not mean the 5th one should be avoided.
  • Bill (unregistered) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    until someone submits a story that involves an explosion at a sausage factory
    ... you can forget your stinking security standards; this thing isn't being written for a bank, it is just a control to remotely operate a pressure valve...
  • Martin (unregistered) in reply to Ralph

    I dunno. . .javascript is crap on all computers, this is just crap on those computers.

  • BOFH (unregistered)

    So this is where German Scheisse Movies come from?

  • lesle (unregistered)

    Kidneys are easy to cook: you just boil the piss out of them.

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