The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

I think Malbolge is a better guess. Demented programs should be written in an equally demented language. :)

(CAPTCHA: batman)

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Dammit, I mean't to include a quote. Let's try this again. (Second CAPTCHA: error. How appropriate.)

-----

Anonymous:
By any chance was this written in INTERCAL?

P.S. Are all the CAPTCHAs "captcha"?

I think Malbolge is a better guess. Demented programs should be written in an equally demented language. :)

(CAPTCHA: batman)

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

about as sturdy as a house of cards

Ford351-4V · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Jeff S:
Alex Papadimoulis:

Most of us are familiar with "that one user." You know, the one who somehow always manages to find the exact sequence of steps required to crash your otherwise rock-solid application? On one hand, you respect him: how could you have possibly thought to check the grievance checkbox, select Billing from the drop-down list, hit the Save button, then hit the back button, and click the Save button twice in a row? On the other hand, you find him incredibly annoying: who in their right mind would think to follow those steps?

I love that part because it is so true. At my last job, that guy was my boss. Great guy, but boy did he have a knack for breaking things .....

Long ago (before Windows) I did UI work in C. I would put my cat on the keyboard and have it walk around for a while. He found a lot of key combinations that would cause errors.

He was also a great help with C. If I asked ask him a "yes/no" question, his answer was usually correct. But when I switched to Windows, he gave up on me and now refuses to help me at all, won't even come in to the room now. See, I told you he was smart.

GoatCheez · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???
Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

I totally agree. Just because it told you to read the instructions, doesn't mean that you aren't supposed to follow them in order. Just because you know that step 25 will tell you to not do other steps doesn't mean that step is executed first.

Pseudocode:
10 string programBuffer = Application.Line.ToString();
20 println("John Doe");
30 int a := 5 + 3;
40 System.Crash();
50 println("Line 40");
60 Application.Line(40) := "int b := 6 + 4";

Sure, it's kinda different, but kinda the same ya know?

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???

Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Q: Why was the computer programmer found starved to death in his shower?

A: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

(I would also accept "A computer programmer wouldn't be found dead in a shower")

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Ford351-4V:
Jeff S:
Alex Papadimoulis:

Most of us are familiar with "that one user." You know, the one who somehow always manages to find the exact sequence of steps required to crash your otherwise rock-solid application? On one hand, you respect him: how could you have possibly thought to check the grievance checkbox, select Billing from the drop-down list, hit the Save button, then hit the back button, and click the Save button twice in a row? On the other hand, you find him incredibly annoying: who in their right mind would think to follow those steps?

I love that part because it is so true. At my last job, that guy was my boss. Great guy, but boy did he have a knack for breaking things .....

Long ago (before Windows) I did UI work in C. I would put my cat on the keyboard and have it walk around for a while. He found a lot of key combinations that would cause errors.

He was also a great help with C. If I asked ask him a "yes/no" question, his answer was usually correct. But when I switched to Windows, he gave up on me and now refuses to help me at all, won't even come in to the room now. See, I told you he was smart.

Ha ha ha, you've gotta love cats. They always seem to choose the worst possible moment to jump on your desk, and they have an unnatural talent for finding the most damaging keystrokes possible. (Computer: "Delete really important data? [y/N]". Cat: "Y")

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???

Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

But step 1 was "get a pen and paper".

xrT · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???

Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

But step 1 was "get a pen and paper".

What about this?

Read all instructions before doing anything but don't follow any of them...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
...

What would you do?

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Rational spotted this guy's work and put him in chargeof UI design for their entire suite of products. That's where he really hit his stride.

Bus Raker · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Digitalbath:
Jeff S:
Alex Papadimoulis:

Most of us are familiar with "that one user."

I love that part because it is so true. At my last job, that guy was my boss. Great guy, but boy did he have a knack for breaking things .....

A typical demo might go like this:

"OK, so, to get started, just double click there .. that's right ... Now, let me explain what we are looking at on this screen -- no, stop that! what are you doing? hit back. No, not 'OK', click 'CANCEL'! ... go back .... no, don't double-click on that, that will ... ok, you've deleted that but no big deal, we can go back to -- wait! stop, don't click 'Apply', that will ... ok, you did it, no problem, I can fix that later, why don't we now go ... what are you doing? Hit 'Undo'! No! Yes ...uh , Ok, yeah, that might be a bug but because you deleted the previous -- no! Don't click on the button -- argh! go back. No, click there! not there, over there! No, over *there*! Just choose the -- ok , that's better. now, to get back to how this works, click on -- no! Don't click that option ! It's for testing, it will erase the --- arggh !!!!"

Hahahahaha. That's an awesome description. My previous boss did the exact same thing. I liked to call it UCRS (uncontrollable random clicking syndrome). Someone needs to come up with medication for this. Every time i would show him something, I would preface the conversation with, "now don't start clicking everywhere." It didn't help.

Maybe that's the key to getting promoted ... just randomly clicking things and entering keystrokes. It worked for Richard Pryor in Superman III.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

I thank a higher power that Wind River moved away from using Tornado to a system based on Eclipse. This example is only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to problems developing software for an older version of vxWorks. At least Wind River has admitted that Tornado pretty much sucks, then threw it away, and started using a better IDE.

Bus Raker · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Alex Papadimoulis:

Most of us are familiar with "that one user." You know, the one who somehow always manages to find the exact sequence of steps required to crash your otherwise rock-solid application? On one hand, you respect him: how could you have possibly thought to check the grievance checkbox, select Billing from the drop-down list, hit the Save button, then hit the back button, and click the Save button twice in a row? On the other hand, you find him incredibly annoying: who in their right mind would think to follow those steps?
I have plenty of respect for the user who could find that and tell me what he/she did. The users which are incredibly annoying are the ones that say - "I got this wrong output". - "Well what were you doing when you got it?" - "Can't remember".

If a tree falls in the woods and no one can re-create it, will another one fall?

Who knows, but it ain't worth my time as a developer troubleshooting something that has no remenants and can't be recreated.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

xrT:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???

Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

But step 1 was "get a pen and paper".

What about this?

Read all instructions before doing anything but don't follow any of them...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
...

What would you do?

Instructions provide knowledge in a methodical manner. If instruction #1 is to READ all of the instructions, I would READ all of the instructions... if instruction number 2 was to answer all of the questions in order, I would answer all of the questions in order.

The original test had 2 parts: Instructions and Questions, people failed the test because they skipped the instructions and answered the questions.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Actually this IDE has been thrown away. Wind River got rid of the Tornado IDE.

Bus Raker · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

xrT:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER.

18. ignore step 25.

"Read over all questions before answering any of them."

PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

But step 1 was "get a pen and paper".

What about this?

Read all instructions before doing anything but don't follow any of them...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
...

What would you do?

And people wonder why so many kids drop out of school. I would just drink a beer.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

Nearly everyone follows directions by reading a step or two, performing them, looking back, reading a few more. In real life trick instructions and head games are less useful for solving problems than roadkill at a construction site. Cleverness is useful in solving problems with vague or no instructions, not in following detailed but contradictory instructions. (It might train you to deal with certain bosses though...)

Besides, if #25 says ignore everything after #2, do you ignore 25? Conundrum!

xrT · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Instructions provide knowledge in a methodical manner. If instruction #1 is to READ all of the instructions, I would READ all of the instructions... if instruction number 2 was to answer all of the questions in order, I would answer all of the questions in order.
The original test had 2 parts: Instructions and Questions, people failed the test because they skipped the instructions and answered the questions.

What about the instructions for reading the instructions:

Read all instructions before doing anything but don't follow any of them...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
...

Anyway, questions like these really doesn't do any good but test your reading comprehension (and your insanity sometimes)... :)

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

you missed the point... having to read all questions first doesn't indicate whether you should process them in order or not

codeman38 · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
At least Wind River has admitted that Tornado pretty much sucks

In which case, it was a very fitting name, one must admit. :)

chrismcb · 2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:

Q: Why was the computer programmer found starved to death in his shower?

A: Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

(I would also accept "A computer programmer wouldn't be found dead in a shower")

Sinc when does a computer programmer RTFM?

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Albatross:

I hate tests like that. I generally assumed that all steps, regardless of order, will overrule eachother - but then I got the teacher who was thinking your way and I would fail. Grrrrr....
1: Skip Step 2
2: Skip Step 1

Simply write this on your piece of paper:

java.lang.StackOverflowError: Out of stack space.
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
[snip]

Captcha = whiskey

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

xrT:

Nice! Sounds like giving instructions to a blind with poor hearing... :D

You may jest...

Yrs ago when I did tech support for a brand name university I used to have a regular caller. She was a nice enough woman - friendly, calm, polite - even when things were going very bad on the technology front. She only had three small problems that made tech support difficult:

Had very very poor hearing
Had very very very poor vision
Had Altzheimers

What do you give a person with that combination of problems? That's right - a computer with a tiny screen that they've never used before.

So.. tech support calls generally involved me SHOUTING into the phone because she kept saying "i can't hear you", with me asking her to tell me exactly what she saw on her screen, and her saying "I'm not sure, my sight isn't as good as it used to be...", and answering exactly the same question as last week. 'But I've already helped you with that.." "I've got Altzheimers', my memory is pretty bad." "Well, grab a pen and write down the steps..." etc etc etc.

Even when I didn't feel otherwise stressed, just having to spend 20 minutes shouting made me feel very stressed.

Then I got a real job :-)

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Digitalbath:
Hahahahaha. That's an awesome description. My previous boss did the exact same thing. I liked to call it UCRS (uncontrollable random clicking syndrome). Someone needs to come up with medication for this. Every time i would show him something, I would preface the conversation with, "now don't start clicking everywhere." It didn't help.

I had a boss exactly like that. Though, his trick was to call me up, ask me how to do something, and pretty much narrate everything that he was doing - which, of course, bore no resemblance at all to what I was suggesting. Eventually - like a million monkeys typing will eventually compose an existentialist suicide note - he would stumble across what I'd suggested in the first place and be very pleased with himself and unhappy that I'd not suggested it sooner.

I soon learned that there was an upside to this. I could just put him on speakerphone, tie up my line, and get on with work without any more disturbing phonecalls ;-)

btw, there is a cure... lead, heated and fast moving. it tends to be a bit messy, and is frowned upon in polite society though

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

xrT:

But step 1 was "get a pen and paper".

Um... we all know that you start counting from 0. The doesn't have a step zero, so obviously was not meant to be executed.

simple :-)

(captcha - null - kinda cute considering :-))

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Anonymous:
Anonymous:

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

stupid and misguided people didn't follow instruction number 1, "Read over all questions before answering any of them."

Given the fact people claim to pass the test I am supposed to do step 25 after I do step 1, who says I have to start at instruction number one???

Maybe I miss your point, but I was arguing that you can read over all the questions over and over as much as you'd like, but that doesn't change the basic rule that you are to PERFORM NUMBERED STEPS IN ORDER, REGARDLESS OF HAVING KNOWLEDGE OF LATER INSTRUCTIONS.

The test measures your ability to following instructions. Instruction number one is to read all of the instructions. You have made the assumption that all of the questions need to be answered, and answered in a particular order.

The first instruction is not numbered, and therefore should be referred to as instruction zero. And since zero is nothing, it should be ignored! :-)

On a more serious note, the abovementioned "basic rule" is not one that I'm familiar with. The first part, sure - isn't that what we expect when we write code? But the second part? That's a big fat WTF!!

Compare a test like that to a program - if you put all sorts of weird ass crap in a comment, or in a function that isn't executed, or in a block of code that is never invoked, the computer will (okay - should) ignore it. It WILL NOT perform the steps in order - it will perform them as dictated by the steps themselves!

Obligatorily: captcha == captcha

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

GoatCheez -- Wow, I took the same test --- In third grade!!!! So, you from California?

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

I also did the same test, in Sydney, Australia.

2006-06-22 Reply Admin

[image] Anonymous:

[image] Anonymous:

I can't wait til this IDE comes out! I must own it

Most likely it would own you...

In Soviet Russia! (Oops, sorry. Wrong forum.)

In Soviet Russia, POS IDE owns YOU!!!!

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Looce:
Simply write this on your piece of paper:

java.lang.StackOverflowError: Out of stack space.
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:1)
at Test.followStep(Test.java:2)
[snip]

Then you fail for using Java.

akrotkov · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Pingmaster:
'Ignore the fact that a new macro appeared; this is expected:'

OMFG! That is Brillant! What developer in their right mind would call this expected behaviour? I would hate to have to field support calls on this..

I would LOVE to field support calls on this.

"Hello, my program doesn't work."
"Did you follow the steps exactly?"
"Yes..."
"Liar! The steps are wrong in the documentation!"
"But there is no documentation..."
"Exactly!"

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

That's amazing, I've been using VxWorks for years now and never managed to get certain things running, usually ending in some files being garbled. Now at least I know how to set up the Project-Macros :-) I should probably read the WTFs more than TFMs (the f** manuals).

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

PaulTomblin:
Jeff S:

"OK, so, to get started, just double click there .. that's right ... Now, let me explain what we are looking at on this screen -- no, stop that! what are you doing? hit back. No, not 'OK', click 'CANCEL'! ... go back .... no, don't double-click on that, that will ... ok, you've deleted that but no big deal, we can go back to -- wait! stop, don't click 'Apply', that will ... ok, you did it, no problem, I can fix that later, why don't we now go ... what are you doing? Hit 'Undo'! No! Yes ...uh , Ok, yeah, that might be a bug but because you deleted the previous -- no! Don't click on the button -- argh! go back. No, click there! not there, over there! No, over *there*! Just choose the -- ok , that's better. now, to get back to how this works, click on -- no! Don't click that option ! It's for testing, it will erase the --- arggh !!!!"

"Is there a small child in the house I can talk to?"

I know this one.. Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie - <a href="http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/helldeskcable.html~content">Internet Hell Desk</a>, right? :-)

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
GoatCheez:
This reminds me of a test I took in 3rd grade. It didn't actually test anything other than following instructions. The first item on the test said "Read over all questions before answering any of them." One of the later steps was to not do one of the earlier steps. Something like "8. Do not do step 3.". The second step was to use a pen on the test. The third step was to write your name somewhere or something like that. If you had done the third step, you failed the test. Those darn tricky grade school teachers!

Those tests are rather stupid and misguided... the problem with them is that it is a general rule that you are supposed to follow numbered instructions IN ORDER. So, even if I know a later instruction is going to contradict a previous one, who says that you are allowed to act on that one first? And if I am indeed allowed to do them in any order, then there is no wrong way to do it. These "tests" usually look something like this...

Read all instructions before doing anything...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
4. circle all the words in step 2.
5. one the back of the paper, write the Grand Unification Theory
[snip snip]
25. now that you've read all the steps...skip all steps but step 1 and step 2.

See, even if I know what step 25 tells me to do, am I to assume I am allowed to do step 25 first? And if indeed I am allowed to do any step in any order I choose, why would I be compelled (other than I am lazy and want to do the least possible work) to do step 25 first? What would I do if I saw this in the list above???

18. ignore step 25.

I remember doing one of those in school (like 30 years ago ...) but it also included instructions like "Shout out the name of your favourite colour". I thought it was a pretty entertaining alternative to the usual lessons.

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

> goggles :: Eyes -> WTF -> Maybe Eyes
> goggles es wtf = if (wtf == "brillant")
>    then Nothing
>    else Just es

Oh, come on. That could should make you feel ashamed.

goggles :: (MonadPlus m, SightOrgan e) => WTF -> e -> m e
goggles "brilliant" = return
goggles _ = const mzero

Roelf_ · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

With all these instructions and buttons you have to push in the right order, unexpected behaviour etcetera, a name for this application popped into my mind:

Woman

ammoQ · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Roelf_:
With all these instructions and buttons you have to push in the right order, unexpected behaviour etcetera, a name for this application popped into my mind:

Woman

*LOL* so true, so true... I guess this application is very expensive, too

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

xrT:
What about the instructions for reading the instructions:

Read all instructions before doing anything but don't follow any of them...
1. get a pen and paper
2. write your name at the top of the paper
3. solve this expression : 512 * 342 * 423 * 423 and write the answer below your name
...

Well, if you're not supposed to read the instructions, you'd have to try your very best to follow them (except instruction #0, or the un-numbered meta-instruction) by writing down random answers not necessarily related to the instructions...

Oh wait, if I'm not supposed to follow the "don't follow any of them" instruction, then I'd be supposed to read the instructions after all?

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

What everyone seems to be missing is that instruction 25 instructs you to ignore all instructions but instructions 1 and 2.

25 is not a member of [1, 2]. So instruction 25 states that you should not follow instruction 25.

So... uh... do I follow it or not?

This is absurd, and a typical example of a test written by a teacher who had vaguely heard of these things, did not understand their purpose, and did not know how to write something logically consistent. Tests like these, with their arbitrary answers, are the most frustrating thing you can give to a smart child. The fact that so many people seem to think there is a straightforward correct answer merely demonstrates that many TDWTF readers are not smart.

warmachine · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

UI design is a fine art but if a programmer doesn't even realise that users have better things to do than memorise specific steps to accomplish a task, then he'll simply never get it. He should put back on batch processing. Not sure I'd trust him with event driven processing.

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Ignoring the logical problems some people have pointed out, this would be a great way of implementing (un)natural selection...

Read all instructions:
1.   Get a gun
2.   Point the gun at your head
3.   Pull the trigger
4.   Do not follow steps 1, 2 or 3

It has the benefit that it will also catch out any borgs that are hiding among us.

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

I agree with the "one user" bit, we were lucky enough in a previous company that this "one user" was also our QA resource! However, this has to be the worst example of that idea, even if the developer is that "one user". This is just a badly designed, written application.

ammoQ · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

warmachine:
UI design is a fine art but if a programmer doesn't even realise that users have better things to do than memorise specific steps to accomplish a task, then he'll simply never get it. He should put back on batch processing. Not sure I'd trust him with event driven processing.

I don't think the programmer was unaware of the idiocy of the design. His problem probably was: He was totally incompetent and lucky to get it to work at all, sometimes.

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Yanks eh?

Jan Hyde · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Reminds me of using Crystal. . .

So I'm not the only one...

2006-06-23 Reply Admin

At least they got it to display a user interface...reminds me of MS Office and its infinite tabs with options...they still have a lot of work to do to catch up with Office...

They should implement "The program has performed illegal operation....send | don't send email...." dialog box...maybe they'd get better feedback from the users of that app...

Oh, and the color scheme used...hmm... reminds me of windows 95 OSR/2, or win 98

hardy-har-har

PS : I wonder if you click Help button, what instructions are displayed...pleeease post a screenshot with Help...:)

snoofle · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

BradC:

Jeff S:
I love that part because it is so true. At my last job, that guy was my boss. Great guy, but boy did he have a knack for breaking things .....
A typical demo might go like this:

"OK, so, to get started, just double click there .. that's right ... Now, let me explain what we are looking at on this screen -- no, stop that! what are you doing? hit back. No, not 'OK', click 'CANCEL'! ... go back .... no, don't double-click on that, that will ... ok, you've deleted that but no big deal, we can go back to -- wait! stop, don't click 'Apply', that will ... ok, you did it, no problem, I can fix that later, why don't we now go ... what are you doing? Hit 'Undo'! No! Yes ...uh , Ok, yeah, that might be a bug but because you deleted the previous -- no! Don't click on the button -- argh! go back. No, click there! not there, over there! No, over *there*! Just choose the -- ok , that's better. now, to get back to how this works, click on -- no! Don't click that option ! It's for testing, it will erase the --- arggh !!!!"

Wrestle the keyboard and mouse from that man. A demo is a demo, not a test session...

This reminds me of my days working for a hardware company - we'd always need to perform test/demos before the thing worked, so we had a bunch wires (jumping various sections of the hardware) leading to a control panel in another room. Someone in there would be listening, and throw the right switch at just the right moment to dis/engage the right jumper to make the thing appear to work. The only catch was making sure they had an unobstructed view of what the person at the keyboard and mouse was doing so they'd know when to throw which switch.

mgrisoli · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

Really good.

Who can remember the DataEnvironment 1.0 used in VB 6 IDE had some issues like these in the first release, to not mention ASP older versions.

Marcelo - Brazil

codeman38 · 2006-06-23 Reply Admin

snoofle:
This reminds me of my days working for a hardware company - we'd always need to perform test/demos before the thing worked, so we had a bunch wires (jumping various sections of the hardware) leading to a control panel in another room. Someone in there would be listening, and throw the right switch at just the right moment to dis/engage the right jumper to make the thing appear to work. The only catch was making sure they had an unobstructed view of what the person at the keyboard and mouse was doing so they'd know when to throw which switch.

Amusingly, that sort of demonstration is common enough that it's actually been given a name: "Wizard of Oz prototyping." Seriously.

Set, Apply, OK!

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