• JamesQMurphy (cs)

    FRIST!

    Think I'll kick back and enjoy me a nice status...

  • The Sussman (unregistered)

    I'd love a good algorithmic glow job.

  • dkf (cs)

    Rabid packs of wolves with firearms and laserguns FTW!

  • snoofle (cs)

    Ok, everyone here thinks I'm nuts because I just busted out laughing, and can't really describe (at least not out loud) why...

    THanks, I needed that!

  • Code Dependent (cs)

    Another story about spineless wimps.

    "Murray, I don't respond to your favorite motivator--intimidation. You need to use something else. Lower your voice when you speak to me, and speak in tones that convey respect. Then you'll get your status."

  • Cro (unregistered)

    Reminds me of a particular contractor we had. He was, honestly, the most boring speaker you'd heard. He never finished a sentance, simply choosing "uuuuuum", "eeeeer" or even "aaaaaaand" to elongate a sentance to... well every thing he ever said. This coupled with daily up date meeting, and while everyone elses update was between 10 and 30 seconds, his would last over 5 minutes.

    Everyone would switch off completely... it was a total embarrassment... so I invented a game. Everybody took a sweepstake on the number of "um"'s that he'd say, before the meeting. I'd be offical judicator (you have to be careful as "er"'s and "and"'s don't count) and suddenly, we had an incredibly attentive set of staff in meetings! Despite everyone getting excited before and after meetings, the inevitable arguments as to the number of "um"'s he said - he never actually noticed.

    Captcha : Facilisis - dunno why, but it sounds rude!

  • skin256 (unregistered)

    Hope they paid really really well to sit through a tirade like that.

  • grumpy (unregistered)

    This just sounds so juvenile.

  • phleabo (unregistered)

    Eh, Murry doesn't sound so bad. I've dealt with far worse.

    They're easy to deal with, too. Let them get into a rant, then about halfway through, interrupt them and mention that you were thinking about something else, and could they please repeat that last part about whatever it was? Polite and chipper drives them to strokes.

  • Just Turned 60 (unregistered)

    59 is not retirement age, for Pete's sake.

  • obediah (cs)

    I really want to lambaste this as the absolute worst, most off-topic post ever on thedailtywtf.

    But the posting itself is a meta-WTF, and while not particularly curious - it certainly is a perversion of IT. So I guess it will have to skate by on solely the worst post ever.

  • snoofle (cs)

    You: You want a status? Murray: I think I'm entitled to a status Y: You want a Status? M: I want the Status! Y: You can't handle the status! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to guarded by men who give status. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Murray? ... M: Did you give the status? Y: I gave the status you sent me to give M: Did you give the status? Y: You're goddamn right I did!!

  • Flatline (cs) in reply to obediah
    obediah:
    I really want to lambaste this as the absolute worst, most off-topic post ever on thedailtywtf.

    But the posting itself is a meta-WTF, and while not particularly curious - it certainly is a perversion of IT. So I guess it will have to skate by on solely the worst post ever.

    Eh? The most off-topic post ever? You've not spent much time here then, obviously. And how, pray tell, is it off-topic anyway? It's a post about an IT Manager and his long-suffering team. Seems perfect for here perfectly honest.

  • lulzy (unregistered)

    I know, let's replace EVERY word with blow job. Now it'll be REALLY funny. Durr hurr durr.

  • xxx (unregistered)

    Hehe. I laught all the way to kindergarten.

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to xxx
    xxx:
    Hehe. I laught all the way to kindergarten.
    What the hell kind of kindergarten do you go to that bj's are discussed/given/received?
  • Chris Hansen (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    xxx:
    Hehe. I laught all the way to kindergarten.
    What the hell kind of kindergarten do you go to that bj's are discussed/given/received?

    Why don't you have a seat over there?

  • obediah (cs) in reply to Flatline
    Flatline:
    obediah:
    I really want to lambaste this as the absolute worst, most off-topic post ever on thedailtywtf.

    But the posting itself is a meta-WTF, and while not particularly curious - it certainly is a perversion of IT. So I guess it will have to skate by on solely the worst post ever.

    Eh? The most off-topic post ever? You've not spent much time here then, obviously.

    I've seen a lot of posts I would consider off-topic ( and have been curmudgeoning up the comments about the dumbing down of thedailyWTF since before you joined ), but I don't remember anything worse than "it's funny to pretend like your boss is talking about sex".

    And how, pray tell, is it off-topic anyway?

    It wasn't a long comment, you should have read the whole thing. I didn't say it was off-topic, on the contrary I explicitly stated how it was on-topic.

  • Spell check (unregistered)

    Murray is spelled Murry one time. See if you can find it.

  • sadwings (unregistered)

    “Dammit,” Murry barked two seconds later at Tom Limoncelli, one of the developers sitting around the conference table, “I don’t have all day! Give me a status!”

  • mjk340 (cs) in reply to Chris Hansen

    Are those brownies? Yum.

  • kswanton (cs) in reply to Just Turned 60
    Just Turned 60:
    59 is not retirement age, for Pete's sake.

    Ya, in this economy it’s more like 85.

  • Charles400 (cs)

    Ohhhh... So that is why Ford always brings a towel to status meetings.

  • frustrati (unregistered)

    Hee hee... I imagined that he said "blow-job". How naughty.

  • Crash Magnet (unregistered)

    "Status" is used 21 times in that article.

    Crash Magnet

  • dtech (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Ok, everyone here thinks I'm nuts because I just busted out laughing, and can't really describe (at least not out loud) why...

    THanks, I needed that!

    Maybe you need to get yourself some status.

  • operagost (cs)

    Kindergarten rocks.

  • Lustig (unregistered)

    I'm sick of being asked for the status.

    Do you want the status? Well, the status is snafu. Now, get lost!

  • Yanman.be (unregistered)

    Any girls want to give me a status?

  • yyy (unregistered) in reply to xxx
    xxx:
    Hehe. I laught all the way to kindergarten.

    Kindergarten... yes, that might explain your spelling.

  • Steve (unregistered)

    I can haz status?

  • flaggy (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Another story about spineless wimps.

    "Murray, I don't respond to your favorite motivator--intimidation. You need to use something else. Lower your voice when you speak to me, and speak in tones that convey respect. Then you'll get your status."

    Then Murray speaks softly and you get down to your knees.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    Another story about spineless wimps.

    "Murray, I don't respond to your favorite motivator--intimidation. You need to use something else. Lower your voice when you speak to me, and speak in tones that convey respect. Then you'll get your status."

    I don't know if it's spineless wimps really. What is the proper way to handle this situation?

    I usually fight back, HARD when confronted with someone like this. It's not the best idea, but it's just my natural reaction to someone that thinks fear is a motivator.

  • wee (cs)

    Tom's a bisexual activist. I don't know what to think about that in the context of Chris's mental regex.

  • flaggy (unregistered) in reply to Spell check
    Spell check:
    Murray is spelled Murry one time. See if you can find it.
    For extra fun, replace Murray with buttsex.
  • Code Dependent (cs) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    Code Dependent:
    Another story about spineless wimps.

    "Murray, I don't respond to your favorite motivator--intimidation. You need to use something else. Lower your voice when you speak to me, and speak in tones that convey respect. Then you'll get your status."

    I don't know if it's spineless wimps really. What is the proper way to handle this situation?

    I usually fight back, HARD when confronted with someone like this. It's not the best idea, but it's just my natural reaction to someone that thinks fear is a motivator.

    There, you pointed out the problem with that: it's a "natural reaction". He's provoking a reaction in you with his behavior... one that he no doubt has anticipated ("they'll either get scared or get mad," he thinks).

    I prefer to adjust his behavior pattern by informing him verbally, and backing my words up with my actions, that his behavior will not produce the reaction he wants from me.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    SomeCoder:
    Code Dependent:
    Another story about spineless wimps.

    "Murray, I don't respond to your favorite motivator--intimidation. You need to use something else. Lower your voice when you speak to me, and speak in tones that convey respect. Then you'll get your status."

    I don't know if it's spineless wimps really. What is the proper way to handle this situation?

    I usually fight back, HARD when confronted with someone like this. It's not the best idea, but it's just my natural reaction to someone that thinks fear is a motivator.

    There, you pointed out the problem with that: it's a "natural reaction". He's provoking a reaction in you with his behavior... one that he no doubt has anticipated ("they'll either get scared or get mad," he thinks).

    I prefer to adjust his behavior pattern by informing him verbally, and backing my words up with my actions, that his behavior will not produce the reaction he wants from me.

    Hey, I know that's not the best reaction. It's just how I react. And it tends to get the job done though - obviously - in a non-optimal way shrug

  • akatherder (cs)

    I'm married so I'm status-exempt.

  • Mark (unregistered)
    Any regular get-together is somewhat suspect as likely to have a ceremonial purpose rather than a focused goal of consensus. The weekly status meeting is an obvious example. Though its goal may seem to be status reporting, its real intent is status confirming. And it's not the status of the work, but the status of the boss.

    -- DeMarco & Lister, Peopleware

  • OhDear (unregistered)

    Status my salad!

  • snoofle (cs) in reply to dtech
    dtech:
    snoofle:
    Ok, everyone here thinks I'm nuts because I just busted out laughing, and can't really describe (at least not out loud) why...

    THanks, I needed that!

    Maybe you need to get yourself some status.

    I'm married - my life is without status.

  • gilhad (unregistered)

    lol, i would give him bored look, roll 10-sided dice two times, pretend to read the value on iy and then say "53%" (or any other current value, preferably NOT divisible by ten).

  • Quagmire (unregistered)

    Giggidy!

  • sf (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    You: You want a blow job? Murray: I think I'm entitled to a blow job Y: You want a blow job? M: I want the blow job! Y: You can't handle the blow job! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to guarded by men who give blow jobs. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Murray? ... M: Did you give the blow job? Y: I gave the blow job you sent me to give M: Did you give the blow job? Y: You're goddamn right I did!!
    FTFU
  • darkmage0707077 (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    xxx:
    Hehe. I laught all the way to kindergarten.
    What the hell kind of kindergarten do you go to that bj's are discussed/given/received?

    One in the Deep South of the USA, perhaps...?

  • Mogri (unregistered) in reply to sf
    sf:
    snoofle:
    You: You want a blow job? Murray: I think I'm entitled to a blow job Y: You want a blow job? M: I want the blow job! Y: You can't handle the blow job! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to guarded by men who give blow jobs. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Murray? ... M: Did you give the blow job? Y: I gave the blow job you sent me to give M: Did you give the blow job? Y: You're goddamn right I did!!
    FTFU

    Subtlety is lost on you.

  • Zylon (cs) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    I usually fight back, HARD when confronted with someone like this. It's not the best idea, but it's just my natural reaction to someone that thinks fear is a motivator.
    If your natural reaction was to get your work done on time, this situation wouldn't come up in the first place.
  • Dr_Barnowl (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    If your natural reaction was to get your work done on time, this situation wouldn't come up in the first place.

    People who use this style of management, in my experience, will find an excuse to apply pressure like this. They will raise the bar until someone can't reach it, just so they have someone to shout at. If the others can smell the fear, they'll be motivated.

  • hawkse (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy

    The real WTF? That the developers didn't know their status, and were late reporting it.

    Signed,

    A PM

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