The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

Argle · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
We swapped the M and N keys on a co-worker's keyboard once. (Physically exchanged the plastic caps.) He never noticed. We were disappointed - it turned out he was too competent a touch-typist ever to need to look at the keyboard.

What's really fun is to re-arrange numeric keycaps to be in telephone order (or, if you're lucky enough to have phones in a system where you can re-arrange the keys, try vice-versa). People normally look at those. That's harder for PC's, though, since you've also got arrow keys, but the computers and terminal from back in the late 70's were good for pranking this way.

Nagesh · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

in comment section a lot of people are just making up storeys.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Anketam:
geoffrey:
Jay:
Anketam:
She probably was listening to the news on the radio which was talking about terrorism. As soon as he mentioned the background music I knew exactly what the cause was. This also reminded me of the Dilbert strip... http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/1994-04-24
And apparantly making a reference to Dilbert triggers post as spam

Yeah, I've often thought, what if I'm using speech recognition software, and then a co-worker wanders into my office and says something like, "Hey, where's the new travel expense FORM AT?" And I answer, "SEE, it's right here."

I don't get it.
sighs

FORM AT = FORMAT SEE = C

If you need more help then go Start -> Run

Type: cmd

Hit enter

Type: Format C:\

Hit enter

Bravo. Best post I've seen in a while.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Yep, seen that one more than a few times. I finally convinced the engineers to disable the feature in the OS build so newly built computers had MS Office speech features disabled by default. I seem to remember a public Microsoft event where the speech recognition was being demonstrated and the presenter couldn't get it to work properly either. So glad that Siri works on my iPhone!

We also disabled the Intel graphics drivers hot key options to rotate the screen. Nothing like the help desk getting a call stating the monitor is upside down.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

get gay ass today when all try you

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Tim G:
Muon:
I worked at my desk when my mouse suddenly started moving on its own.
<snark>Highly unlikely.</snark>

Was that a mouse in your pocket or were you just happy to see her?

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

This happened at an old job of mine. One of the customer service reps was getting weird text inputs. After a few minutes of talking about the problem (and wondering if Ghost Writer had infested her computer), I realized that the things i typed were oddly similar to what we were saying and managed to turn off speech recognition.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Anketam:
everyone was trying so hard not to kill over laughing

You must have a bunch of hair-trigger tempers in your office, if it's an effort not to kill someone for laughing.

Coyne · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

MojoMonkeyfish:
It was some stupid bloatware app from the PC manufacturer that, of course, should start automatically and render all your words into speech, because who wouldn't want that?

I sure wouldn't!

(Yes, I know you were being sarcastic.) There are few things that make me snarl louder than having a manufacturer (my un-favorite is Microsoft) "help" me do whatever they happen to think the right thing is, because: "Big Brother knows best."

"Then die, Big Brother! Die! Die!! DIE!!!! DIE!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Anketam:
geoffrey:
Jay:
Anketam:
She probably was listening to the news on the radio which was talking about terrorism. As soon as he mentioned the background music I knew exactly what the cause was. This also reminded me of the Dilbert strip... http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/1994-04-24
And apparantly making a reference to Dilbert triggers post as spam

Yeah, I've often thought, what if I'm using speech recognition software, and then a co-worker wanders into my office and says something like, "Hey, where's the new travel expense FORM AT?" And I answer, "SEE, it's right here."

I don't get it.
sighs

FORM AT = FORMAT SEE = C

If you need more help then go Start -> Run

Type: cmd

Hit enter

Type: Format C:\

Hit enter

You mean like from a command line thing? I don't think so. Anything that can't be done with a few mouse clicks is not worth my valuable time.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Bach didn't write symphonies - they weren't invented yet.</pedant>

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

MojoMonkeyfish:
[...]It was some stupid bloatware app from the PC manufacturer that, of course, should start automatically and render all your words into speech, because who wouldn't want that?

So it was a speech-to-speech converter? Sounds...easy.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

James:
Yep, seen that one more than a few times. I finally convinced the engineers to disable the feature in the OS build so newly built computers had MS Office speech features disabled by default. I seem to remember a public Microsoft event where the speech recognition was being demonstrated and the presenter couldn't get it to work properly either. So glad that Siri works on my iPhone!
We also disabled the Intel graphics drivers hot key options to rotate the screen. Nothing like the help desk getting a call stating the monitor is upside down.

I work in a Hell Desk for a retail chain and we do occasionally get calls from people with upside down screens. It can be kind of amusing listening to them try to describe the problem, sometimes.

TheRider · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
in comment section a lot of people are just making up storeys.

Actually, I'm already at the top floor. I don't need any more storeys, thank you.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

I've been reading this site too long, I can recognize Nagesh posts just by how horrendously unfunny they are.

2012-01-17 Reply Admin

hurf durf:
I've been reading this site too long, I can recognize Nagesh posts just by how horrendously unfunny they are.

I read that as 'hilariously unfunny'

Why do elephants hide in trees?

To get the drop on you.

Poochy.EXE · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

I love how computers the stay scan wreck a nice mice peach oak aim A.B. knot.

neminem · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

LegacyCrono:
Hahahah, nice one. When I read "references to guns and bombs and terrorists" I first thought it was changing to the Wingdings font... Didn't saw that coming.

Yep. That's what I was assuming the end determination was going to revolve around, too. (See also: http://www.snopes.com/rumors/wingdings.asp). The conclusion was a surprise to me as well.

Coyne · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

On another note, it might be fun to set up two computers with programs to read the speech recognition output and repeat it through speech synthesis.

Just to see where it goes. Maybe:

C1: "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs." C2: "Duh quick braun faux chumped oh very the lay dogs." C1: "Duh wick braun fa chumped ovary the lay dox." C2: "Duh hick brawn fa jumped ovary the latex." C1: "Duh hick drawn fa chumped owe varied latex." C2: "Duh hick drowned chomped owe variety ex." C1: "Duh hick drowned champ own berry teak." C2: "Derrick drowned chimp on berry peak."

herby · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

Argle:
What's really fun is to re-arrange numeric keycaps to be in telephone order (or, if you're lucky enough to have phones in a system where you can re-arrange the keys, try vice-versa). People normally look at those. That's harder for PC's, though, since you've also got arrow keys, but the computers and terminal from back in the late 70's were good for pranking this way.

When I was designing terminals for a telephone answering service function, I had the keypad changed to be in "telephone order", complete with '*' and '#'. It made much more sense, since the users were already (this did stretch things a bit) familiar with that arrangement.

The biggest problem with the operators was that they were (as a co-worker put it) "dumber than cheese". Then I visited the facilities, and discovered a weird truth: The operators that had the best voices were usually the ones that had faces/bodies that would stop a clock (SIGH).

Argle · 2012-01-17 Reply Admin

herby:
The biggest problem with the operators was that they were (as a co-worker put it) "dumber than cheese". Then I visited the facilities, and discovered a weird truth: The operators that had the best voices were usually the ones that had faces/bodies that would stop a clock (*SIGH*).

There seems to be something to this. I once knew a guy who was deaf (and mostly blind). When I had to talk to him on the phone, his wife would interpret. She had the most dead-sexy voice I had ever heard. When I finally got to meet her, my first thought was "good thing the husband was nearly blind." The only thing that kept her from being scary was that lovely voice and she was one of those people who smiles a lot.

2012-01-18 Reply Admin

James:
Bach didn't write symphonies - they weren't invented yet.</pedant>

C.P.E. Bach wrote something that are often called "sinfonias" in the English-speaking world. Also, many earlier baroque composers wrote what they called "sinfonias" to begin their operas or cantatas. We now usually call them "overtures" or "preludes". (J.S. Bach wrote a zoodle of cantatas, btw.)

Nevertheless, what we currently know as "symphony" didn't quite exist until Haydn and (to a lesser extent) Mozart developed them. Many of their early symphonies could perhaps be properly called "proto-symphonies"

And even then, there's no way a radio station announcer would refer to any sinfonia written by any of the Bachs as the "last symphony". A key signature (such as "G major") seems to be more likely.

And here we end your today's music history lesson.

Yazeran · 2012-01-18 Reply Admin

Argle:
Matt Westwood:
We swapped the M and N keys on a co-worker's keyboard once. (Physically exchanged the plastic caps.) He never noticed. We were disappointed - it turned out he was too competent a touch-typist ever to need to look at the keyboard.

What's really fun is to re-arrange numeric keycaps to be in telephone order (or, if you're lucky enough to have phones in a system where you can re-arrange the keys, try vice-versa). People normally look at those. That's harder for PC's, though, since you've also got arrow keys, but the computers and terminal from back in the late 70's were good for pranking this way.

Remember mee of that time (1997 or so) where I found a computer on my unicversity's network with a fully accessible C drive and I changed Autoexec.bat and Config.sys to start the computer up with a Finnish keyboard layout next time it rebooted.. :-) The only thing i needed was a way to remotely reboot, but as it ran windows 3.x i thought, why bother, it will do that by itself in a few hours..

I never heard about that incident or abuot that time a few mothhs later when i inserted a suitable message in autoexec.bat (telling the user that leaving the computer with a world writable C-drivwe was not a good idea) followed by wait...

Yours Yazeran

Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer

2012-01-18 Reply Admin

Not a classic wtf but even so, by far the best story evah!

The poop of DOOM · 2012-01-18 Reply Admin

cconroy:
Jay:
Yeah, I've often thought, what if I'm using speech recognition software, and then a co-worker wanders into my office and says something like, "Hey, where's the new travel expense FORM AT?" And I answer, "SEE, it's right here, in my COLON"
FTFY

Oh screw you, that's too damn hard not to laugh out loud (or be subtle about trying to hide it) in the office.

"Hey Poop, what're you laughing at?" "Oh, nothing, nothing... Just some code I'm writing..."

The poop of DOOM · 2012-01-18 Reply Admin

Cbuttius:
"help help, my computer keeps changing what I type..."
I don't think this article is a real WTF. Certainly not against poor Wendy G anyway.

Application programmers seem to be a typical bunch who make assumptions for you, in particular things starting up with your computer that you never asked to, so all her reboot attempts didn't stop this horrible thing from starting up, and no doubt it was running in the background somewhere

Applications that use loads of CPU and memory. After all you must have plenty. Well maybe I do, but I also have other apps running on my computer and don't want yours to hog all my resouces....

Apps that start up when I didn't ask them do, and don't shut down completely when I do.

Apps that put on auto-correct features by default.

You can add thinking they're THE most important thing on my computer, too, and thus hang everything while they do their mandatory update from x.1.1.5.a.9 to x.1.1.5.a.10.

Or those applications that think they're so important they can (again) hijack anything I'm doing. I'm writing a mail and PLOINK a window pops up and takes focus away from my mail, placing it in their default field. AIM was especially nasty with that (which is why I used it only shortly).

2012-01-18 Reply Admin

Depending on the accuracy of the speech recognition software, she might have been talking about a fun Bombay tourist, or her terrorist look-alike boyfriend with a huge gun who was banging her like a sex bomb last night.

Captcha: vulputate tr.v., -tat·ed, -tat·ing, -tates. To amputate someone like how a Vulcan does

2012-01-18 Reply Admin

I LOVE this story! <3

When I was younger I had a program called “IBM ViaVoice”. The recognition rate was awful but it tried very hard to make a correct sentence, even if the result was completely meaningless. One time I forgot to turn off a fan and this software before going elsewhere with a friend. When we came back, we laughed so hard to the stories this gem told us! :')

2012-01-18 Reply Admin

Our secretary was famous for her habit of muttering "kaka!" whenever she made a minor error. This mildly scatological outburst was slightly embarrassing but since she couldn't seem to break the habit, we all tacitly agreed to ignore it.

The company bought her a simple 16-word voice recognizer for numeric data entry. This was in 1972. I was tasked to set up the vocabulary -- "ten digits and some basic controls" -- so naturally I mapped "kaka" onto "backspace". Everyone was suitably impressed.

Not a profound story but I remember it with much fondness.

-Harrow.

2012-01-19 Reply Admin

the beholder:
Yetti:
frequent references to guns and bombs

So, was the radio singing about guns and bombs...or was she discussing such things with another contact!?

dun dun DUUUUUN!
TFA:
*   virus, as there are sometimes were weird ref-    *

erences to local news.                           *
These "local news" make me believe she listened to the news on the radio... and that the news program didn't limit itself to local news... ... or maybe her neighborhood is that screwed.

Or maybe The Cardigans - Zombie was their song-of-the-week.

2012-01-19 Reply Admin

Had this happen to me back in around 2002. Had been playing with SAPI and for whatever reason had the office bar turned on. Was sitting in a meeting and random words would just show up in my notes I was taking in MS Word. I thought my machine was overheating...rebooting did not help. Took a bit to figure out what was going on. No terrorists though.

2012-01-19 Reply Admin

JJ:
MojoMonkeyfish:
[...]It was some stupid bloatware app from the PC manufacturer that, of course, should start automatically and render all your words into speech, because who wouldn't want that?
So it was a speech-to-speech converter? Sounds...easy.

It: "Thank you for calling FooCorp customer service. To continue with your call in English, please say 'English'" Me: "English" It: "I heard you say English. If this is correct, say 'Yes'" Me: "Yes" It: "I heard you say Yes. If this is correct, say 'Yes'" rjmp -2

2012-01-19 Reply Admin

I actually tried (intentionally) to use speech recognition that came with Micro$oft Office a few years ago just to see how well it would work. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty, but it was quite alarming how many times it misunderstood me to say words like 'nuclear', 'jihad', 'Saddam', 'bomb' etc.

2017-12-10 Reply Admin

i seem to remember a story where two people messed up the settings on their wireless keyboards, so every letter either of them typed appeared on BOTH screens...

Terrorists!

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