• (cs)

    Please properly read the message above.

  • MuTaTeD (unregistered)

    This is the frist comment, please see the next comment for more details

  • MuTaTeD (unregistered)

    Please read the above comment carefully

  • (cs)

    The Seventh Circle of the Inferno is reserved for developers who think error messages are an outlet for their comedic talents. Where they can be kept in eternal torment by cute fluffy kittehs.

  • $$ERR:get_name_fail (unregistered)

    That iMap error message is cute. And much more friendly than "NullPointerException on line 9842".

  • phi (unregistered)

    TRWTF is wanting to watch "The Time Traveler's Wife" instead of reading the book.

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is thinking you are so clever with your huge wall of error output, but then not proofreading it and fixing "passed to one on my layer controllers" to "passed to one of my layer controllers"

  • bluesman (unregistered)

    "You know, when you think about it, offering a movie called The Time Traveler's Wife until the 41st century kind of makes sense"

    No, it doesn't. Just travel back to the 21st century and watch it then.

  • faoileag (unregistered)
    Bill:
    I had applied for a job which I am actually not interested in," Bill wrote, "Now, if that number is the salary..."
    ...I'd still redact my application, because, all things considered, 1558369 cents per year is pretty meager for the responsible position of System.Xml.XmlElement. Even if they throw in health insurance for free.
  • Tristique (unregistered)

    ¡¡¡ NOTE: THIS COMMENT MUST BE SAVED IN UNICODE ENCODING !!!

  • faoileag (unregistered)
    "A hapless time traveler and his wife forge an unlikely love affair despite his uncontrolled jumps through time"
    It is unlikely to have a love affair with ones wife???

    And by the way: is there someone fishing for sympathy? A lot of us are burdened with a weekly commute, you insensitive clod!

    Ah, that movie begs to be made fun off... "Are you seeing someone else???" "No!!! Erm, yourself 20 years younger doesn't count, does it?"

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to phi
    phi:
    TRWTF is wanting to watch "The Time Traveler's Wife" instead of reading the book.

    TRWTF is the existence of the execrable book in the first place.

  • Will (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    phi:
    TRWTF is wanting to watch "The Time Traveler's Wife" instead of reading the book.

    TRWTF is the existence of the execrable book in the first place.

    TRWTF is that you have read it.

  • (cs)

    I remember my first job as a System.Xml.XmlComment... My job just didn't have real purpose.

    How I dreamed of having a job as a System.Xml.XmlElement!

  • Object Type (unregistered)

    I applied to be an XML element once, because I knew I'd that's one job where I'd never be improperly terminated.

  • Larry (unregistered)

    Come work at BigCorp, where we promise not to treat you as just another number. No, our developers are highly regarded XML elements.

  • Tim (unregistered)

    That TestCfg stuff is not testing the app as you might think. No, it is a competence test administered by HR as part of the hiring process. If you can hack into their database and find the two requested configuration strings, you're in!

  • Bobby (unregistered) in reply to Tim
    Tim:
    That TestCfg stuff is not testing the app as you might think. No, it is a competence test administered by HR as part of the hiring process. If you can hack into their database and find the two requested configuration strings, you're in!
    When (oops, I mean if) I hack into an HR database, it isn't to pass some stupid test. No, I just add myself as an employee, reporting to a supervisor that doesn't exist. That way I never have to show up for work and nobody notices.

    The trick is not to be too greedy about the salary you give yourself. Something middle-of-the-road so you don't stick out. Same thing at performance evaluation time. Mostly 4s, a couple 3s and 5s. Just don't forget to update the database with your eval every year or they will hunt you down!

  • Dan (unregistered) in reply to Tim

    Well obviously when FedEx services are not available at your zip code, the maximum envelope size is null. What else did you expect?

  • Noughmad (unregistered) in reply to Bobby
    Bobby:
    When (oops, I mean if) I hack into an HR database, it isn't to pass some stupid test. No, I just add myself as an employee, reporting to a supervisor that doesn't exist. That way I never have to show up for work and nobody notices.
    I would ask you for your last name, but judging from you first name I think posting it would make you an employee of TDWTF.
  • Skott (unregistered) in reply to Tim

    As a sys admin, I already have lusers who believe I can and should immediately fix any error in crappy software I've never even seen before. The last thing I need is error messages encouraging them to give me a good talking to, since I'm the closest thing to a "developer" they've ever seen in their lives.

    Just once, I'd love to see an honest error message:

    Hey there! You impulsively bought a load of dung because the web site had a pretty model smiling as she looked at her computer. First of all, don't you know every marketing site has one of those? Anyway, the sales guys didn't want us to spend any extra time testing this stuff, so it is loaded with bugs, and you've hit one of them. Don't fret about it; there's nothing you or anyone can do. The program is broken! Get it? It doesn't work. It can't be fixed. Don't bother calling us because we won't fix it. Don't call anyone else either, because that's just wasting time. Your best move at this point is to uninstall this software, assuming it doesn't crash when you make the attempt.

  • Jeff (unregistered) in reply to Skott
    Skott:
    The program is broken! Get it? It doesn't work. It can't be fixed.
    So true! I can't count how many times I've had that conversation. Since to most people, software is pure magic and I'm a magician, of course it will work. I just have to, um, do the needful whateveritizits, and if I don't, well, I'm just being stubborn or uncooperative, probably because they haven't yet sufficiently impressed me with their clout in the organization or the urgency of their need.

    "But their web site said this would allow me to print banners!"

    They just can't even formulate the concept that the web site might have lied.

  • the beholder (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    "But their web site said this would allow me to print banners!"

    They just can't even formulate the concept that the web site might have lied.

    Well, you know how they say: "It's on the internet, so it must be true".

  • Dazed (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    "But their web site said this would allow me to print banners!"

    They just can't even formulate the concept that the web site might have lied.

    To be fair, it probably does allow you to print banners. Provided you're using IE 6 on Windows XP SP1, or whatever platform was reasonably common at the time said site was originally written.

  • PseudoBovine (unregistered) in reply to Skott
    Skott:
    Hey there! You impulsively bought a load of dung because the web site had a pretty model smiling as she looked at her computer. First of all, don't you know every marketing site has one of those?

    Obligatory link. (And no, it's not a webcomic, of any shape of artistic ability.)

  • (cs) in reply to bluesman
    bluesman:
    "You know, when you think about it, offering a movie called The Time Traveler's Wife until the 41st century kind of makes sense"

    No, it doesn't. Just travel back to the 21st century and watch it then.

    That is, of course, if the time travel would be voluntarily ;-).

  • 50% Opacity (unregistered)

    TRWTF is UltraDefrag, right?

    In the age of modern file systems, people still bother defragging their disk? With tools called "UltraDefrag"? How much more 90s can you get? Or is this seriously still a thing?

  • (cs)

    I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the MAP!

    Swiper swipes the map

    SWIPER NO SWIPING!

    Aww, MAN!

  • Norman Diamond (unregistered) in reply to Skott
    Skott:
    As a sys admin, I already have lusers who believe I can and should immediately fix any error in crappy software I've never even seen before.
    Just wait, it will get worse.

    As a programmer, I have both colleagues and relatives who think I can fix any error in Windows.

    Just wait, it gets worse.

    I clicked on a link in a Windows Event Log item to see if Microsoft had heard of one particular error and might even propose a fix. Yes indeed they did. Microsoft's TechNet article told me to fix the bug. Microsoft didn't tell me what part of Windows it was in or how to fix it, they just told me I should fix their bug.

  • (cs)

    Ari Sitnik, you have obviously never sent e-mail to my ex-wife. Please properly read the error message above.

  • 1.44 meg floppy disk (unregistered) in reply to 50% Opacity

    I think you mean "in this age of fast hard drives and SSDs, people still bother defragging their disk?"

    Modern file systems still can become highly fragmented, but you just don't see the effects like you used to.

    Defragmenting is also very useful when compressing a drive image for virtualization. Moving things around with a defragmenter can force bad sectors on a hard drive to remap (a quick fix after someone dropped their laptop), and some of us just like things organized in perfect order.

  • ezra abrams (unregistered)

    I recently recieved an offer from a major US bank for a credit card that gave me 150$US bonus after the first two purchases - basically, 150 dollars us for nothing So I go to the rewards site, and, after much effort find the take reward as cashback, deposit to checking account SO ..I get to filling in my account info, which in teh US is the routing number, which identifies the bank, and the account number, which identifys your account I enter these and get an error message: account number must be 10 digits but mine is 8 beep beep beep talk about a fail

  • Shawn (unregistered) in reply to ezra abrams
    ezra abrams:
    I recently recieved an offer from a major US bank for a credit card that gave me 150$US bonus after the first two purchases - basically, 150 dollars us for nothing So I go to the rewards site, and, after much effort find the take reward as cashback, deposit to checking account SO ..I get to filling in my account info, which in teh US is the routing number, which identifies the bank, and the account number, which identifys your account I enter these and get an error message: account number must be 10 digits but mine is 8 beep beep beep talk about a fail
    I had a similar thing. This lovely Nigerian who worked for a major bank (this he told me himself) offered to share some interest on some inheritance that he had to shift between accounts. I sent him all the details and all, but everytime I tried to log into my bank through his interface, it kept rejecting my Account Number and password *sigh* maybe there really IS no such thing as a free lunch...
  • (cs)

    That business is really going to take Web 2.0 to the next level* with their System.Xml.XmlElement job position.

    *(That's Web 3.0, right?)

  • hombre (unregistered)

    XMLElement Job is not that difficult. You only watch for some escape characters and that's all. XMLDocument, now that's hard. You need to deal with a lot of encoding stuff. But hey, that's management.

  • JJ (unregistered)

    I used to be a System.Xml.XmlElement like you, but then I took an arrow key to the knee.

  • (cs) in reply to ezra abrams
    ezra abrams:
    I enter these and get an error message: account number must be 10 digits but mine is 8 beep beep beep talk about a fail
    Try left-padding with zeroes...that's what mine is like.
  • Axel (unregistered)

    In the words of Chester A. Bum:

    I was an XML Element once! So-o-o many people died...

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