• Charlie (unregistered)

    In the future, all variables are Andy.

  • Charlie (unregistered) in reply to My Name Is Missing

    "horror movie" and "Andy" instantly made me think of: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084464/

    Sample quote: Randy: Hey Sandy, want some candy? Sandy: Some candy'd be dandy. Randy: Hey Candy, want some candy? Candy: No candy for me, Randy. Andy Jackson: Aw, come on, Candy, have some candy. Candy: I said no candy, Andy. Andy Jackson: Okay, Candy. I'll have some candy, Randy. Randy: Okay, Randy. I'll give you Candy's candy. Andy Jackson: Can I also have Mandy's candy? Sandy: No, Randy! Don't give Andy Mandy's candy! Give him the candy that's handy! Randy: All right, Sandy. So, Andy, what's your favorite candy? Andy Jackson: Mints.

  • nag-geoff (unregistered) in reply to PedanticCurmudgeon
    PedanticCurmudgeon:
    nag_geoff:
    Steve The Cynic:
    Andy would be the reason why a baseball bat is an essential tool for code reviews.
    Resorting to violence or threats thereof, is how governments operate.
    FTFY

    I see what you did there, Libertarian menace to functioning society.

  • Rbroken (unregistered) in reply to foo
    foo:
    boog:
    ...everyone on Julius's team knows Andy. Actually, it's hard not to know him.
    find codebase/ -type f | xargs -d'\n' sed -i 's/andy/broken/gi'
    Great way for everyone to finally forget Andy, and improve the code's self-documentation at the same time.
    Thanks for this hbroken trick.

    Brillant

  • JJ (unregistered)

    And he went to pieces?

  • taiki (unregistered)

    Finally a case where ANDY=NO makes sense...

  • Julius (unregistered)

    I am the original who sent this in.

    I worked with him on several projects. My job is to prevent him from putting his code in production, so every time he finishes a project, I review it, change it so it wont spam everything with useless resources and then I drop in production.

    Sometimes we try some coding on the arduino, and we decided to make an entry doorway on RFID with some LED and some cool looking 8-bit stop-sign. Needless to say, if it wasnt for me the code would look pretty ugly and would only give access to him...

    He is actually the biggest example of a dilbert strip. Wont work unless you start pushing and giving him something to do, which he always answers with a zip file containing 1 c-file: Andy<yourname>request<number>.c or pde depending if you want it for the arduino or not. And a normal workday isnt a "workday" after drinking a 10-double espresso from the starbucks (not joking, he actually orders it every day).

    My job is 25% coding, and 75% bugfixing. At least its something...

  • ruski (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    Kiss me I'm Polish:
    Lazy Andy Afternoon I hate the usage of words like foobar, foo, bar, baz etc. in examples. I've seen these in actual production code. While they may make sense in examples (because it's as abstract as it gets), it's so, so wrong everywhere else...

    I've always had a problem with "my" prefixing objects. Again, it's what's done in examples, but it feels childish, somehow, bringing to mind things like "my little p**y" and "my first training bra" and "my mummy" and the like. Anyone else share this eccentricity?

    no

  • (cs)
    Andy Pattern

    Ooh, nice stealth pun!

  • Luiz Felipe (unregistered) in reply to zelmak
    zelmak:
    Anonymous:
    ubersoldat:
    public class Andy extends Object{ ... }

    public class X extends Andy

    Where X is every class in your codebase.

    It's too early for horror stories.

    Sorry, we already have that:

    public interface LoggableObject { ... }

    public abstract AbstractLoggableObject implements LoggableObject { ... }

    and everything is a descendent of AbstractLoggableObject.

    This is the time when you need C++, not because performance. No one uses C++ because of performance, but because of multiple inheritance. Its is like candy, much is never enoght

  • The Crunger (unregistered) in reply to randyandy
    randyandy:
    Does anyone care about variable names if the code does what it is supposed to?
    No, variable names are superfluous. To be sure we're not mislead by variable names, we have a SCM commit hook that runs the source through an obfuscator.
      "Descriptive variable names give lack of flexibility,
       more costly evolution, and inhibit the use of the
       interpreter to act as a service to applications,
       and make them inhibitors to evolution."
    
  • Andy yes this Andy (unregistered) in reply to frits

    Senior Software Engineer! BAHAHAHA!

    This is a crappy project I wrote for school. Funny to see your own stuff on thedailywtf. I was working with/for a dutchmen who gives bad requirements and in a new programming language. My andy pattern helpt me find the inevitable bugs ☻.

  • Buddy (unregistered) in reply to The Crunger

    Directive 595 Part 8 is as follows.

    The Crunger:
      "Descriptive variable names give lack of flexibility,
       more costly evolution, and inhibit the use of the
       interpreter to act as a service to applications,
       and make them inhibitors to evolution."
    

    As such, please change all variable names to correspond to regular expression [a-z][0-9]{0,2}.

    Sincerely, Chief Architect Gerald

  • (cs) in reply to Buddy
    Buddy:
    Directive 595 Part 8 is as follows.
    The Crunger:
      "Descriptive variable names give lack of flexibility,
       more costly evolution, and inhibit the use of the
       interpreter to act as a service to applications,
       and make them inhibitors to evolution."
    

    As such, please change all variable names to correspond to regular expression [a-z][0-9]{0,2}.

    Sincerely, Chief Architect Gerald

    Why go only half the way when you can ditch variables completely?

    Variables give lack of flexibility, more costly evolution, and inhibit the use of the functions to act as a service to applications, and make them inhibitors to evolution.
  • Andy (unregistered)

    Madarchod! Madarchod! Madarchod!

  • (cs) in reply to JJ
    JJ:
    And he went to pieces?

    No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued.

  • barf4eva (unregistered) in reply to ubersoldat

    INSERT INTO Andy (AndyColumn) EXEC AndyProcedure @Andy= 'Andy', @NotAndy = 0

  • (cs)

    Witness: Striker was the squadron leader. He brought us in real low. But he couldn't handle it. Prosecutor: Buddy couldn't handle it? Was Buddy one of your crew? Witness: Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was Striker who couldn't handle it, and he went to pieces. Prosecutor: Andy went to pieces? Witness: No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued. Prosecutor: Howie came unglued? Witness: Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. Buddy came unglued. Prosecutor: And he bailed out? Witness: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle. Prosecutor: Then Howie survived? Witness: No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.

  • Programmers Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Andy yes this Andy

    Ha Ha, I get it:

    Andy Pattern == Anti Pattern

    Excellent play of words!

  • jesse (unregistered)

    I love how he assigns the string to a local variable and then in the very next line avoids using it.

    private void button34_click(object sender, EventArgs e) { if (serialPort1.IsOpen) { string andy = "R"; serialPort1.Write("R"); } }

  • Mike (unregistered)

    corpse = Kill(andy); corpse.Dispose();

  • Farkas István (unregistered)

    ChuckNorris implements God ... Andy extends ChuckNorris

Leave a comment on “The Andy Pattern”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article