• Frenchier than thou (unregistered) in reply to Fedaykin
    Fedaykin:
    IMHO, the #1 qualification of any employee (assuming they work even remotely closely with others) is their socialization with the rest of the group. I don't care if you are God's gift to your chosen profession, if you are a social ingrate like Earl that is incapable of even the most basic of social graces, you are worthless.
    And THAT is why you get incapable smooth-talkers everywhere.

    To he\ with social skills, I want a genius that can make what I ask for a reality. Text and discourse comprehension is enough!

    Hum, and if avaliable, shower-savvy just made my short list of essential skills after reading this :-S

  • (cs) in reply to retreved
    retreved:
    we had a tech, very obese, very very obese,

    Everything stems from that really. He was probably so fat that it would be physically difficult, if not impossible unaided, for him to bathe. Hence he just didn't.

  • Jordna (unregistered)

    I had a friend in highschool that worked for an isp doing tech support. His boss had a habit of smoking in the office.

    He had about 4 ashtrays full of butts in front of the computer and one side of his crt monitor was white while the other side was brown and yellow.

    It was something you had to see to believe.

  • (cs) in reply to spotcatbug
    spotcatbug:
    Nitpick: that scene with the blood coming out of the elevators was never actually in The Shining; it was filmed for, and used only in, the theatrical preview.
    You are totally incorrect, sir. Have you ever seen the movie?
  • (cs) in reply to Jordna
    Jordna:
    He had about 4 ashtrays full of butts in front of the computer and one side of his crt monitor was white while the other side was brown and yellow.

    It was something you had to see to believe.

    Was the keyboard as bad as this? [image]

  • (cs) in reply to beluv
    beluv:
    JD:
    ... so it begs the question: ...

    That phrase doesn't mean what you think it means.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question

    The second paragraph in that Wikipedia article explains that the popular use of "begs the question" is to invite an obvious question. The citation given for why this is wrong is 25 years old.

    How often do you use the proper definition of "begs the question"? Never, because saying "circular argument" is clearer and commonly understood.

    When certain statements are made, there are questions that are raised and there questions that are begging to be asked. The style books need to be updated to reflect the fact that the modern usage is a better usage of the phrase.

    Sorry for going off topic, but I don't want to think about that smelly, bug-infested topic anymore.

  • Ken B (unregistered) in reply to Mr B
    Mr B:
    Is "*SNORT*" onomatopoeic? It doesn't sound like a snort, certainly not a snort I've ever embarked upon...
    You are not my mother!
  • Magic Eraser (unregistered) in reply to Earl

    "I just wash up before the wife gets back from her modelling job."

    I feel very sorry for your wife that the only time you are clean is in the brief evening hours when she spends time with you. I'm sure if she's any kind of glamour model she'd be appalled that you present yourself this way to your coworkers (and indirectly embarrass her in doing so!)

    And don't kid yourself. You're in the corner because that's the only place they could put you without losing the rest of the staff (and their lunch). Congratulations on "scoring your own office".

  • anonymous coward (unregistered) in reply to beluv

    Wow, that's pretty ironic

  • anonymous coward (unregistered) in reply to beluv

    Sorry for not quoting the last post, I was referring to the irony of this:

    beluv:
    JD:
    ... so it begs the question: ...

    That phrase doesn't mean what you think it means.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question

  • Steve (unregistered)

    I once worked at an institution which had a large number of students from Korea. As you may know, a major part of Korean cuisine is a delicacy called kimchee, which is fermented cabbage, often laden with copious amounts of garlic. Getting into an elevator with a half dozen Korean students who'd been chowing down on kimchee the night before could be an eye watering experience.

    Of course, turnabout is fair play. One of the students confided in me once that he hated riding in an elevator full of Americans. Apparently we smell of "sour milk".

  • sf (unregistered)

    We have a mild case of the same type at our company right now. Luckily in my case, I'm in the office and he's in a cube. His cube neighbor has already complained, though, and he's had "the talk" with our boss. It worked for a while but the old habits are returning.

    It's a tough situation because he's a nice guy and you don't want to make the working relationship toxic from an emotional standpoint; especially since we have a small development team. On the other hand things can become too toxic from a physical standpoint.

  • (cs) in reply to AlpineR
    AlpineR:
    How often do you use the proper definition of "begs the question"?
    Pretty often.
  • iMalc (unregistered)

    So how do you tell someone you work with that they smell so incredibly horrible? Or at least, how do you tell your boss that you can't bear it?

    I don't know what the new guy eats, but his smell is unbearable. His breath smells of death and decay (at least from a distance it does, no way I'm getting that up close) If I enter the open plan area I can tell whether he has arrived at work already, and I can tell everywhere he has been in the last half an hour on the whole floor. He has got to be one of the least bright programmers I have ever seen as well.

  • (cs)

    Sigh. I don't like to be petty against people, but working in tightly packed environments makes you bless the day when the only smoking guy in your team is taken on another project (and he doesn't even smoke in the room) or a temp girl (cute, but ..yes, mightily fat) finally goes away - I'm not even sure how she manages it, she looks clean, but you walk into the office and smell her subtle presence immediately. Small things like that day in and day out are able to drive one crazy, but can you actually punish\discriminate in a workplace when it doesn't go into "outright offensive"? (But I wish I knew a good way to =)

  • OhDear (unregistered)

    I won't hire people who are fat just in case they smell. I can't imagine what I would do with an actual smelly employee.

  • the real wtf (unregistered) in reply to commoveo
    commoveo:
    JD:
    The first thing I think to myself whenever my box starts playing up is "have I got enough water in there?". Everyone knows that water is an effective electrical conductor so it begs the question: if there is an inadequate amount of water in one's computer, how on Earth is the electricity supposed to pass between the components? Maybe someone someday will invent a series of tubes for electricity, but until that day comes...

    Uhhhh... pure water is an insulator. Only when it contains metallic (normally minerals, pipe debris, or some salts) contamination does water conduct electricity at all. Even when these are in water it's impedance is high. Normal tap water has an impedance of a few thousand ohms and it travels though metal pipes and normally metal faucets. Though tap water has a high impedance, if you combine this with a human body and 120Vrms at 10A or 5A it'll fry you fast. Only takes around 7 to 9Vdc to break the human skin electrical resistance and 5 to 10 miliamps across the heart to kill you.

    Its not impedance, its resistance, because while a normally open circuit will offer effectively infinite resistance with a constant voltage applied across it, if the two sides of an open circuit are close enough to the insulating dialetric between them (capacitor), the impedance can be much less than infinite depending on the speed that the applied voltage varies (frequency) while the resistance to direct current would still be effectively infinite. Additionally, even the very smallest voltage will cause current to flow through skin because it is pretty much a passive conductor, voltage does not "break resistance" unless the device has a nonlinear characteristic, and the closest to this would be an actual INCREASE in resistance as your skin burns off the normally conductive elements due to dissipation of power caused by conversion of current into heat whenever current gets high enough (ie., you can tell this is occuring because smoke is emitting from the point of contact (or maybe it starts to hurt more lol)).

  • (cs) in reply to OhDear
    OhDear:
    I won't hire people who are fat just in case they smell.
    I'm the same way with Jews.
  • peterb (unregistered) in reply to Fedaykin
    Fedaykin:
    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with)....

    "No social butterflies?" That's Marketingneese for "do not draw out meeting to avoid real work" and "is unable to lie to customer", right?

    Sorry if I didn't catch the nuances - I only recently started learning that language. Most IT folk admittedly don't bother when picking a made-up language to learn, they usually go for Volapük or Klingon, wich are, while slighly lest useful, at least connected to reality.

    letatio? is that Esperanto for "I Rule"?

  • Dirk Diggler (unregistered) in reply to AlpineR
    AlpineR:
    beluv:
    JD:
    ... so it begs the question: ...

    That phrase doesn't mean what you think it means.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question

    The second paragraph in that Wikipedia article explains that the popular use of "begs the question" is to invite an obvious question. The citation given for why this is wrong is 25 years old.

    How often do you use the proper definition of "begs the question"? Never, because saying "circular argument" is clearer and commonly understood.

    When certain statements are made, there are questions that are raised and there questions that are begging to be asked. The style books need to be updated to reflect the fact that the modern usage is a better usage of the phrase.

    Sorry for going off topic, but I don't want to think about that smelly, bug-infested topic anymore.

    So eventually, rain on your wedding day will be ironic?

  • (cs) in reply to Dirk Diggler
    Dirk Diggler:
    So eventually, rain on your wedding day will be ironic?

    I would have more sympathy for people insisting on the original meaning of "beg the question" if "beg the question" involved a question or begging.

  • Bill Gates (unregistered)

    This is the most brillantly-written article to appear on TDWTF. I got the point after the first couple sentences, the dude had bad hygiene. There is no need to repeat that 8000 times in different ways.

    Its like reading a short story written by a grade 8 student who is about to fall asleep but needs to reach 2000 words because the assignment is due tommorow.

  • rast (unregistered) in reply to anonymouse
    anonymouse:
    New Irish girl is win.

    Awwwww hell yeah.

    [image]

  • Dan (unregistered)

    onomatopoeia

  • Dustin (unregistered)

    I believe the word you were looking for was onomatopoeia.

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered)

    I've had two bosses in the past several years like this guy.

    One stunk to high heaven and liked to sit at his desk and trim his toenails. He wore sandals year-round and I don't think he washed them once in four years. We left a stick of deodorant on his desk once for a laugh and he pretended not to get the message. He had a nice car though, so he was a hit with the ladies. Really YOUNG ladies.

    Guess nice-smelling programmers finish last.

    The other was a breathy, chubby guy who never changed his tan-orange t-shirt or stained khakis. I think his problem was just BO and his penchant for eating Thai. Rotting tooth smells if he spoke too long in meetings, and boy did he like meetings.

    I got a new job with a dress code, and I haven't looked back. It's a refreshing change.

  • TimmyT (unregistered)

    Mineral Oil is non-conductive:

    http://www.pugetsystems.com/submerged.php.

  • MM (unregistered) in reply to retreved
    retreved:
    That didn't help with the fruit-fly population that moved in because of the huge stack of unrinsed cans of Diet Coke that stacked endlessly on his desk!
    If it attracted fruit-flies, then it must have been regular Coke rather than Diet Coke. Bugs are attracted to sugar, not aspartame.

    I usually drink diet soda and got used to being able to just leave the cans out until I'd accumulated enough to make it worth a trip to the recycling center. One time when the vending machine was out of Diet Pepsi, I got a regular Coke instead, and forgot that that can would need to be rinsed out. Had quite a mess when I came in the next morning - fruit flies, and worse yet, a whole stream of ants on my desk. (Even after getting rid of the offending can, it took several days for those ants to disperse.)

  • Ryan (unregistered) in reply to SoonerMatt
    Sam B:
    I'm surprised Bad hygiene is a perfectly acceptable reason to fire someone, especially of it's causing discomfort to other employees, or even potential customers.
    SoonerMatt:
    Although he was the epitome of health and cleanliness, he had an odor that made him unbearable.

    It was a very interesting conversation having to tell one of your best employees that his body odor was preventing him from being able to do his job which was to represent the company to clients.

    This is one of the toughest conversations a manager can have, but it's important to address it. Personal odor is not a personal choice. Managers are responsible for team performace. Team performance is the sum of the direct report's performance. If someone's personal odor offends other team members, the manager is responsible for having that conversation. Normal people don't WANT to offend their co-workers. This leaves two situations: The person doesn't know he is being offensive, or the person doesn't care. If they don't know, this is an embarrassing conversation, but the person will likely make the change once they realize that their hygiene is a problem. If the person doesn't care that he is offensive, and it's affecting team performance, that isn't any different than any other bad habit that affects team performance (e.g. yelling, swearing, interrupting, bad attitude, abrasiveness, etc.) It needs to be documented, addressed on an improvement plan, and can eventually be used as grounds for firing.

    The content of the conversation is uncomfortable because it's personal. The structure of the conversation is no different than any other performance affecting situation, though.

  • Funkster (unregistered) in reply to Nelson
    Nelson:
    "otomotopeia" :-) I believe you meant "onomatopoeia".

    Which, ironically, is not spelled how it sounds.

  • James (unregistered)

    We had a guy like this, normally okay but you got stuck in the lift or a store room with the guy and it was a nightmare.

    Fortunately I was only there as a temp for a few weeks and when I went back a few months later he'd either moved or been moved on. There really is no excuse even if they are a genius (not that my one I met or this guy was anywhere near one).

  • synp (unregistered) in reply to JD
    JD:
    The first thing I think to myself whenever my box starts playing up is "have I got enough water in there?". Everyone knows that water is an effective electrical conductor so it begs the question: if there is an inadequate amount of water in one's computer, how on Earth is the electricity supposed to pass between the components? Maybe someone someday will invent a series of tubes for electricity, but until that day comes...

    Well, IBM mainframes up until 94-96 (we didn't have 4-digit years then) were water-cooled. I worked for a place that had one of those huge beasts until '97. At the time, whenever a new operator came in, we walked them through the different parts of their jobs (mounting tapes and cartridges, running backups, running production batches, etc), and one of the chores was to top up the water tank in the computer.

    Their boss would tell them to bring a ladder, lean it against the mainframe, climb up with a pitcher of water, and then fill 'er up. This was the 90s so everyone had a computer at home, and they just couldn't believe that you actually put water in the computer. They thought it was some kind of hazing until they say their boss actually go up the ladder and pour water into the computer.

    Then they were led to their next chore, which was to shred a 300 foot magnetic tape with a "top secret" label into pieces no more than an inch long using scissors. But that was really hazing and we let them off the hook after 5 minutes.

  • Fedaykin (unregistered) in reply to Frenchier than thou

    Both the lack of social graces and lack of technical competence are deal breakers. If either one is missing, you're gone no matter how good the other quality is.

  • Fedaykin (unregistered) in reply to peterb

    http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/social_butterfly

  • Fedaykin (unregistered) in reply to peterb
    peterb:
    Fedaykin:
    Now, IT folks on average are not social butterflies (but can be worked with)....

    "No social butterflies?" That's Marketingneese for "do not draw out meeting to avoid real work" and "is unable to lie to customer", right?

    Sorry if I didn't catch the nuances - I only recently started learning that language. Most IT folk admittedly don't bother when picking a made-up language to learn, they usually go for Volapük or Klingon, wich are, while slighly lest useful, at least connected to reality.

    letatio? is that Esperanto for "I Rule"?

    http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/social_butterfly

  • return of the spelling nazi (unregistered) in reply to AlpineR
    The second paragraph in that Wikipedia article explains that the popular use of "begs the question" is to invite an obvious question. The citation given for why this is wrong is 25 years old.

    So what you're saying is, it's a perfectly cromulent phrase?

    Funny thing: lots of people saying the wrong thing doesn't make it right. Similarly, defending the wrong usage simply because it's widespread isn't clever, it's frustrating.

    You know what's really annoying about "begs the question"? In order for someone to use it wrong, they have to be trying to sound intellectual to begin with.

  • john (unregistered)

    Reminds me of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_Matter_(short_story)

  • commoveo (unregistered) in reply to the real wtf
    the real wtf:
    Its not impedance, its resistance, because while a normally open circuit will offer effectively infinite resistance with a constant voltage applied across it, if the two sides of an open circuit are close enough to the insulating dialetric between them (capacitor), the impedance can be much less than infinite depending on the speed that the applied voltage varies (frequency) while the resistance to direct current would still be effectively infinite. Additionally, even the very smallest voltage will cause current to flow through skin because it is pretty much a passive conductor, voltage does not "break resistance" unless the device has a nonlinear characteristic, and the closest to this would be an actual INCREASE in resistance as your skin burns off the normally conductive elements due to dissipation of power caused by conversion of current into heat whenever current gets high enough (ie., you can tell this is occuring because smoke is emitting from the point of contact (or maybe it starts to hurt more lol)).
    I'm sure it is Imedance as:

    //XL = inductive reactance //XC = capacitive reactance //R = DC restance //Z = imedance Z=sqrt(pow(R,2)+pow((XC+XL),2));

    where "Inductive Reactance" is positive and "Capacitive Reactance" is negative.

    They can be quickly calculated by the XL=2pifreqL; //L = inductance in measured in "henries" XL=1/(2pifreqC); // C = capacitance in farads

    They are graphed as such

    XL | Z | / |/ |---------------------R | | | | XC

  • iToad (unregistered) in reply to operagost
    operagost:
    How could fruit flies be attracted to artificial sweeteners? There must have been something more diabolical "stored" in those empty cans.

    The other odors overloaded the fruit flies olefactory systems, causing them to be attracted to artificial sweeteners by mistake. Your first indication that the general odor level has reached this point, is when the flies and roaches leave.

  • Havokk (unregistered) in reply to retreved
    retreved:
    Cleaning crew refused to touch his work area.

    That would be a black flag for me. If the people who are paid to clean up messes think the mess is too much then something needs to change. I would refuse to work in that office. It's an unhealthy workplace. It's an illegal workplace (in my country - YMMV).

    B

  • The Tingler (unregistered) in reply to TekniCal
    TekniCal:
    commoveo:
    Only takes around 7 to 9Vdc to break the human skin electrical resistance and 5 to 10 miliamps across the heart to kill you.

    Say, WHAT??? 9VDC breaks skin resistance? I guess all those 12 and 24Vdc battery banks have fried me....

    And they sell 9V batteries without any kind of shielding over the terminals with no warning of any kind.

    Oh, the humanity!

    Electrical current flow through the body is essentially limited by skin resistance. In a very simplified sense the human body can be considered a bag of salt water. Salt water is relatively conductive giving a resistance of only about 500 ohms between appendages. The major resistance of the body comes from the "bag", the outer layer of skin. The skin resistance can change considerably depending on environmental conditions. Clean dry skin can have a resistance of several hundred thousands of ohms. With wet dirty hands the skin resistance can drop almost to zero.

    Looking at this in a little more detail, with dry skin a value of 500,000 ohms is not uncommon. Thus with 208 V and 500,000 ohms only about 0.4 mA would be expected to flow. This is less than the typical threshold of perception. With wet hands, however, the resistance could drop to 500 ohms allowing about 400 mA to flow. This is well into the area of breathing paralysis. Thus, depending on environmental conditions current flow can easily go from not being sensed to a level that is possibly fatal.

    9 volts at 500 ohms the current is 18 mA which should be enough to cause muscle contraction, though I've never felt a voltage less than 48 volts.

    More on the subject, where I used to work there was a guy whose breath was painful. Even though I knew how bad it was, every time I spoke to him I wasn't prepared and I'd almost gag. I'd rather take a punch to the face.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to return of the spelling nazi
    return of the spelling nazi:
    Funny thing: lots of people saying the wrong thing doesn't make it right.

    Yes it does, language changes and evolves. It’s only definition is the one people actually use and understand since otherwise it’s useless. The only languages set in stone are dead ones and I somehow suspect those may be altered retroactively as historians learn more.

    Similarly, defending the wrong usage simply because it's widespread isn't clever, it's frustrating.

    Get used to it or move into a cabin in the middle of Siberia, otherwise you’re in for a world of disappointment as the language around you moves about.

  • AntiQuercus (unregistered) in reply to return of the spelling nazi

    and, just because a citation is $years old tells us nothing about its validity. Yes, an older argument has had more time for someone to counter it, but if there is a counter-argument, give that.

    Euclidean geometry (modulo Riemann et al) is still valid despite its age.

    Captcha: dolor? sad money?

  • Matt (unregistered) in reply to SoonerMatt

    Dante wished he could go to lunch right then, but his colleague that he was going with was in a meeting until noon. He tried to keep his thoughts on other things, but couldn't stay focused.

    sorry ... no.

    but THE colleague that he was going with

    or

    but his colleague WITH WHOM he was going.

  • AntiQuercus (unregistered)

    If you want to experience a wide range of human smells, drive a taxi. Some passengers, you can't keep the window closed. Some of them were fat, some just didn't wash that much. Sadly, I remember picking up a bandaged passenger from a cancer hospice, and she had a smell, which I supposed came from her disease.

    Early Saturday nights were nice, lots of nice perfumes on women going out for the evening. Late Saturday night...other smells rolled in. Barf, eggs (from getting egged), grog...one guy took a dump in the car! (He covered it up by pointing out that "we were driving past a sewage treatment plant." I was unfamiliar with the area...)

    Early Sunday morning, some of the passengers were returning home from liaisons, I guess. One woman had a strong smell on her breath suggesting recent amorous activity...I kept wishing she would look straight ahead when she spoke, and not at me!

  • AntiQuercus (unregistered) in reply to Matt

    This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put!

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Anon

    [quote user="Anon"][quote user="return of the spelling nazi"]Funny thing: lots of people saying the wrong thing doesn't make it right. [/quote]

    Yes it does, language changes and evolves. It’s only definition is the one people actually use and understand since otherwise it’s useless.[/quote]

    Get used to it or move into a cabin in the middle of Siberia, otherwise you’re in for a world of disappointment as the language around you moves about.[/quote]

    That's a philosophically interesting thing about language as opposed to most other areas of knowledge.

    No matter how many people agree that pi equals 4 or that chlorine is a noble gas won't make it so. You can hold all the votes and surveys you want and it won't change that reality.

    But if someone started using, say, the word "yellow" to mean "pretty Irish girl", and in a few years everyone started to use it to mean this and soon no one even remembered the old definition, then by what standard would you say that that was not the "correct" meaning? How could you say, When I use this word, everyone understands it to have this meaning, everyone uses this word to convey this meaning, but that's not really what it means?

  • laughing (unregistered) in reply to Earl

    Yeah, but your reputation in the eyes of your colleagues plus your self-dignity is irrevocably lost. No office can replace that.

  • John Muller (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    Any conversation that begins with referring to a computer as a "she" ("She starts up maybe 25% of the time") never ends well.

    You should never anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.

  • (cs)

    This reminds me of my Maths teacher at school. He was famed for being a bit of a drinker, and his halitosis of a morning was truly scary - it literally took your breath away. This was a well-documented feature of the school, as was the fighting that broke out at the beginning of every term, to see who would get a desk at the back of the classroom...

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