• Will Perdikakis (unregistered)

    That poor, poor stack.

  • Mickey (unregistered)

    She could have easily squeezed a few more variables in there.

  • J (unregistered)

    Type: "Her code confusingly cute." no verb.

  • jkndrkn (unregistered)

    Newbie code is inherently wtf-prone.

  • jkndrkn (unregistered)

    Newbie code is inherently loaded with WTF material. I would consider this more WTF-worthy if it came from a more seasoned programmer.

  • (cs)

    I bet she had fits trying to figure out why her CLItem00 variables were always censored.

  • (cs)

    To all you saying "it's newbie code" as though that makes it alright to produce rubbish like this, can we just remember that by the time a programmer makes it into the workplace (even as an intern) he or she should be able to program competently. I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.

  • (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    I bet she had fits trying to figure out why her CLItem00 variables were always censored.

    FORBIDDENem00?

  • (cs) in reply to java.lang.Chris;

    Not true. Interns are still students, and the goal of internship is to give them some practical experience and help then learn something. Even in internships where programming skills are required, mistakes and bad code are largely expected. That's why their work is closely supervised and they usually don't get the most important tasks.

    And if you can't think about any other profession where this happens, you would be shocked to know how many mistakes medicine interns fresh out of college can make.

  • Sven (unregistered)

    I like how she zero extends 01 to 09, then has 100 as her last entry. And the "<space>,<space>" between each one to make it even longer is a nice touch. Amateur at best.

    Doesn't whatever crappy language this is have arrays?

  • Adhominem (unregistered)

    Dimming variables in a sub while not setting Option Explicit seems rather ... dim.

    I'm sorry, I just had to.

  • Adhominem (unregistered) in reply to Sven
    Sven:
    Doesn't whatever crappy language this is have arrays?

    It's VB. And yes, it has arrays. And yes, it's crappy.

  • Sch3lp (unregistered)

    I bet she was pretty though :)

  • Me too (unregistered) in reply to Adhominem
    Adhominem:
    Sven:
    Doesn't whatever crappy language this is have arrays?

    It's VB. And yes, it has arrays. And yes, it's crappy.

    Actually, VBScript. But yes, it too has arrays.

    For those who don't know, VB/VBScript, by default (pre.NET that is) could be written without declaring variables. The Option Explicit command at the top of a module/class/.asp forces the compiler to require the declarations. The declarations are technically called Diminsioning, thus the shortened keyword of Dim.

    The more I work in other languages, the more I agree with the meme of "The Real WTF is using VB."

  • moe (unregistered)

    There's a new job opening in training law enforcement (working with target practice). It's a high-turnover industry.

    [image]

    captcha: howdy ... death is nature's way of saying 'howdy'

  • JokerPokerUberSmoker (unregistered) in reply to Sch3lp
    Sch3lp:
    I bet she was pretty though :)

    And why not! Hiring women on the basis of their 'loveliness' is always a good policy in my book. I feel they brighten up the workplace considerably.

    Now regarding VB ... what an awful pile of crap.

  • Paul Harrison (unregistered)

    Hur hur they can't code but maybe you can have sex with them. WTF

    In the interests of equality, I want to see some prettyboy stories on this site too.

    "His long golden locks bobbed as he eagerly coded the subroutine. A look of puzzlement spread across his innocent face as he realized something was wrong. The recursion was not ending! Oh if only our love, like that subroutine, would recurse ever deeper."

  • Nande! (unregistered)

    oh god, i've laughed a lot on this.

  • Mitch (unregistered)
    there was an intern who was working on a major feature of their application.

    That's the Real WTF.

  • (cs) in reply to Paul Harrison
    Paul Harrison:
    Hur hur they can't code but maybe you can have sex with them. WTF

    In the interests of equality, I want to see some prettyboy stories on this site too.

    "His long golden locks bobbed as he eagerly coded the subroutine. A look of puzzlement spread across his innocent face as he realized something was wrong. The recursion was not ending! Oh if only our love, like that subroutine, would recurse ever deeper."

    Oy. Less sappiness in the workplace, PLZ.

  • Joe Corrison (unregistered)

    I love how because she's a woman, it's "cute" code. Sexism is alive and well in the programming industry.

  • Frank (unregistered) in reply to Paul Harrison

    Eek... that's starting to sound like the WTF Romance Novel.

    "... and then a pop-up for a sex website showed up on his screen. He couldn't help but click the ample bosoms before his eyes..."

    captcha: pirates - arr

  • Rich (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    To all you saying "it's newbie code" as though that makes it alright to produce rubbish like this, can we just remember that by the time a programmer makes it into the workplace (even as an intern) he or she should be able to program competently. I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.

    WTF? I had a friend who started as a butcher at a slaughterhouse and they wouldn't even let him hold a knife for weeks.

    What I think is the case is that there aren't many other professions where you are thrown in at the deep end with little to no on-the-job training or apprenticeship. Even a bricklayer will spend most of his startup days carting rubbish around the site and making coffee.

    Rich

  • Craig (unregistered)

    This code sucks! She must have been hot.

  • mattnaik (unregistered)

    wait...ASP has scope?

  • (cs) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    To all you saying "it's newbie code" as though that makes it alright to produce rubbish like this, can we just remember that by the time a programmer makes it into the workplace (even as an intern) he or she should be able to program competently. I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.

    I agree with this sentiment.

    True, interns and newbie code do happen but it shouldn't be so horrific. Writing something like this shows a total lack of some pretty basic concepts such as giving sensible variable names and arrays... concepts that you would learn in first year programming class.

    I wrote stuff like this in first year. It was something like: datapoint1 datapoint2 datapoint3 ...etc

    After I got a sound spanking from the person who marked it ("haven't you ever heard of arrays??", "why yes, but I had a massive brain fart obviously") I never made a mistake quite like that again. Sure, other WTFs, but not completely avoiding basic tools learned in highschool and first year programming classes.

    -- Seejay

  • anne (unregistered) in reply to Joe Corrison
    Joe Corrison:
    I love how because she's a woman, it's "cute" code. Sexism is alive and well in the programming industry.

    Agreed. WTF?

    FYI, I've never been accused of writing "cute" code.

  • (cs) in reply to gusmao
    gusmao:
    Not true. Interns are still students, and the goal of internship is to give them some practical experience and help then learn something. Even in internships where programming skills are required, mistakes and bad code are largely expected. That's why their work is closely supervised and they usually don't get the most important tasks.

    And if you can't think about any other profession where this happens, you would be shocked to know how many mistakes medicine interns fresh out of college can make.

    Interns are part way through their college course - they've done at least one year of a degree. If they don't know what an array is before they've started the course I'd be worried. The fact that that this one didn't know after at least a year at university suggests that those running the course are incomptetent for not dropping her back a year after flunking the first year exams.

  • ben (unregistered)

    In which Alex parlays his usual artlessness into outright misogyny and illustrates why he'll never know the touch of a woman.

  • Henry (unregistered)

    Isn't this just a little bit sexist with references to "cute" etc? If it had been a male intern I doubt the code would have been called cute rather than just stupid.

  • (cs) in reply to Paul Harrison
    Paul Harrison:
    Hur hur they can't code but maybe you can have sex with them. WTF

    In the interests of equality, I want to see some prettyboy stories on this site too.

    "His long golden locks bobbed as he eagerly coded the subroutine. A look of puzzlement spread across his innocent face as he realized something was wrong. The recursion was not ending! Oh if only our love, like that subroutine, would recurse ever deeper."

    You win. We can all go home now, thread's over.

  • my name (unregistered)

    Is it really hand-written code? It looks like result of code generator/GUI designer/etc.

  • Grant Johnson (unregistered)

    Three little words:

    Fourth Normal Form.

  • Doubts (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.

    Pretty much all of them. Most people don't know what they're doing, and have bullshitted their way through school. The only reason they can get away with it is because since so many others are incompetent around them. It's the rare environment where incompetence is not tolerated.

  • Adam Z (unregistered) in reply to mattnaik
    mattnaik:
    wait...ASP has scope?
    Yes. And objects. And the ability to make calls to the O/S.

    No, it isn't strongly typed (everything is a Variant), but it is functional.

  • TheReligion2000 (unregistered) in reply to jkndrkn

    I am sorry but I have seen such database design from many senior coders. They just don't have a clue how databases work of how to use a table efficiently.

  • (cs)

    Let me propose the following theorem: once a CodeSOD appears written in a language which name contains words 'Visual' and 'Basic', some smartass will pop up and say: "The real WTF is that they're using VB". Or: "I hate VB". Or: "VB just sucks". Or: "This language is a WTF in itself".

    I mean, seriously, chill off. We already know that every Kool Über-geek's holy duty is to hate VB. It still doesn't occur to me how can people hate a programming language. My guess — it's just trendy.

    Since this page has .aspx extension and if I've not missed something, there's a quite high probability that this site is written in VB. I hope that upon realizing this the haters will quit in disgust.

    I'm sick of these hate-fests. People, can't you just tell wooden table jokes instead? Rant over. Bite me.

    Oh, and P.S. How could that SOD work? It would work only if you insert a colon or a newline after 'sub dimVars' and place all the declarations on a very long single line, which would be a rather spectacular WTF. Did Alex intentionally remove all newlines and line continuations for comical effect?

  • Kemp (unregistered)

    For those complaining about the "obvious" sexism in the story... since when has a post ever been totally serious?

    Waits for the patented "pretend my response was sarcasm" method of defense

  • Phat Wednesday (unregistered)
    I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.
    Having worked at a bank and seeing the complete lack of attention well compensated people paid to setting the deposit rates correctly! I can safely say that it's prevalent where ever execs can't be bothered to adequately manage their staff because they're too busy jerking each other off in meetings.

    I can also safely say: Keep your money in a mason jar

  • Matthew (unregistered) in reply to ben
    ben:
    In which Alex parlays his usual artlessness into outright misogyny and illustrates why he'll never know the touch of a woman.

    Since when did a little misogyny scare away the women? Quite to the contrary, the misogynists seem to get all the dames. Bastards.

    -matthew

  • (cs)

    I thought the "cute" comment was a play on the CLItems looking like cutems (if you smush the L and i together to make a U).

    Maybe it is just clitems.

  • Hyuga (unregistered) in reply to Mitch
    Mitch:
    there was an intern who was working on a major feature of their application.

    That's the Real WTF.

    Story of my life. As an intern at my company last summer, I spent most of the summer developing most of what was considered a crucial feature. There was a little work left to be done on it by the time I left to go back to school, but for the most part it was usable. But then, after all my work, it was decided not to be used, since an intern's work couldn't be trusted. God forbid they at least have someone review the code (well, there wouldn't have been anyone qualified to do so, as I'm also one of the only people around here who knows Python).

    Now that I'm out of school they've hired me full time, and my main job is to implement the very feature I implemented over the summer. Some of it can be reused, but a lot of it can't due to architecture changes since I last worked on it.

  • nini (unregistered)

    How the fsck can that be considered cute?

  • Joseph Newton (unregistered)

    Well, Geez... declaring variables is such a nasty chore, you might as well get it all out of the way right away, huh?

  • (cs) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    I can't think of any other professions where such gross inadequacy is so prevalent.
    Paid any attention to the Bush Administration for the past seven years?
  • (cs) in reply to ben
    ben:
    In which Alex parlays his usual artlessness into outright misogyny and illustrates why he'll never know the touch of a woman.
    Meanwhile you bitch-made gentlemen who start sentences with "In which..." and use words like "parlay" are drowning in a sea of breezies?
  • Danielle S. O. (unregistered) in reply to Joe Corrison
    I love how because she's a woman, it's "cute" code. Sexism is alive and well in the programming industry.
    LOL... I'm female, and I say she earned that "cute" title, fair and square ;)

    No collegue of mine has ever, ever considered my code even remotely cute. I may have earned "buggy" , "over designed", "over simplistic", and plain old "WTF" ... but never "cute".

    I used the "cute" term myself on some of my half-baked interns (their code, that is), regardless of gender. Definitely patronizing, but I can't help it, they really are cute, lost puppy style.

    None of them would ever produce a masterpiece such as that Dimmer's, though. Not even students.

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    Of course, this begs the question: Who's the moron that assigned an intern to work on a major feature. Sounds like a management issue... :P

    Andrew http://www.InvestorReviewPodcast.com

  • (cs) in reply to anne
    anne:
    FYI, I've never been accused of writing "cute" code.
    That's because your code is slutty.
  • (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    I thought the "cute" comment was a play on the CLItems looking like cutems (if you smush the L and i together to make a U).

    Maybe it is just clitems.

    What the fuck is a "clit em"?

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