The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.

Now that I understand the cause, I can honestly say the real WTF here is PHP! Even MAKE has simpler white-space rules than this! Why can't PHP interpreter handle that? Is it every PHP version?

Nagesh · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
I once had an interview like the second one. After the rediculous math questions (this guy had a math fetish), his tirade of how Entity Framework and linq to sql really just output sql text and nothing else, and that his entirely string-based "data access" layer used, *GASP*, string interning, I was ready to walk away... I remember asking him (quite sarcastically) if he'd ever heard of sql injection vulnerabilities. Apparently because of my security background, he wanted to hire me.
The guy was a total jerkoff (very condescending, etc.), and I think he sensed that I didn't want the job because he kept me there for ~4 hours talking about how profitable the company was, blah blah blah.

The funny thing was that, other than math/algo questions, he didn't even TOUCH .Net, which was funny considering it was for a senior .net role.

Securite background. Hah!!

no laughing matter · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

a visitor:
That is not funny! My son was a troll and it is no laughing matter :(

No i am not!

Why does everyone think we are related?

Is it because they kept the f***ing in the family they believe the whole world does also?

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.

Wow, that's pretty bad. Not only did he rip from documentation, he ripped from crappy documentation. "For at least 15 seconds", really?

Anyway, the answer to that question is to check if there is any echos before the "header" call. PHP errors can also echo to the screen, so check for those too. White space before the <?php can cause the error, but I didn't think white space after the ?> mattered.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
TRWTF: "Before bringing people in for an interview, we give them a simple questionnaire about PHP"
What, if they know anything about PHP, they fail?

If it's a PHP job, yeah. If you don't know PHP I can't hire you to do PHP.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

Not to get sidetracked either, but seeing as how this was a fictional response to a fictional situation, I didn't feel it warranted research into the armaments of that particular group of people. I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people. But please, by all means, continue being anal, it appears you're having fun. :)

I'd agree with you, but considering that bloody awful Thor movie was just out and you didn't see him wielding a claymore, did you? No, he's got a big fucking hammer! So, no excuse. If you're going Norse, you've got to go hammer or battle axe. Everybody knows that, you shouldn't need to look it up.

Nagesh · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infancy is lieing out of his teeth.

FTFY

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

a visitor:
That is not funny! My son was a troll and it is no laughing matter :(

Problem?

/trollface

C-Octothorpe · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
C-Octothorpe:
I once had an interview like the second one. After the rediculous math questions (this guy had a math fetish), his tirade of how Entity Framework and linq to sql really just output sql text and nothing else, and that his entirely string-based "data access" layer used, *GASP*, string interning, I was ready to walk away... I remember asking him (quite sarcastically) if he'd ever heard of sql injection vulnerabilities. Apparently because of my security background, he wanted to hire me.
The guy was a total jerkoff (very condescending, etc.), and I think he sensed that I didn't want the job because he kept me there for ~4 hours talking about how profitable the company was, blah blah blah.

The funny thing was that, other than math/algo questions, he didn't even TOUCH .Net, which was funny considering it was for a senior .net role.

Securite background. Hah!!

How did you spell security wrong when you quoted my fucking post with the CORRECT SPELLING!!!

Godammit, you're a fucking retarded fake Indian. DIE DIE DIE!!!

</hangry-rant>

C-Octothorpe · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Bobby Tables:
Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.
Wow, that's pretty bad. Not only did he rip from documentation, he ripped from crappy documentation. "For at least 15 seconds", really?
Anyway, the answer to that question is to hit yourself in the head repeatedly with a hammer until you forget everything about PHP then go and learn a real web development platform.

FTFM

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Nagesh:
C-Octothorpe:
I once had an interview like the second one. After the rediculous math questions (this guy had a math fetish), his tirade of how Entity Framework and linq to sql really just output sql text and nothing else, and that his entirely string-based "data access" layer used, *GASP*, string interning, I was ready to walk away... I remember asking him (quite sarcastically) if he'd ever heard of sql injection vulnerabilities. Apparently because of my security background, he wanted to hire me.
The guy was a total jerkoff (very condescending, etc.), and I think he sensed that I didn't want the job because he kept me there for ~4 hours talking about how profitable the company was, blah blah blah.

The funny thing was that, other than math/algo questions, he didn't even TOUCH .Net, which was funny considering it was for a senior .net role.

Securite background. Hah!!
How did you spell security wrong when you quoted my fucking post with the CORRECT SPELLING!!!

Godammit, you're a fucking retarded fake Indian. DIE DIE DIE!!!

</hangry-rant>

I am not a fukking fake retarded Indian. I am really Bob's adopted Indian son. Please to being more sensitive, dickwad.

Coyne · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

PHPeed all over my server:
Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.

Now that I understand the cause, I can honestly say the real WTF here is PHP! Even MAKE has simpler white-space rules than this! Why can't PHP interpreter handle that? Is it every PHP version?

PHP is designed to be integrated into an HTML document. By default, the entire document is HTML; the PHP portion has to be specifically marked and extends from the <?php start tag and ends at the ?> tag. (Properly: There can be multiple pairs of tags and anything not between the tags is HTML.)

If there's a blank before the starting tag then that is a significant blank that is part of the HTML document and has to be copied to the web client as-is. That, in turn, requires the HTTP headers to be sent (before the blank can be sent) and so the opportunity to override the headers is gone.

So it's really not a matter of PHP handling of white space, because the blank before the tag is not PHP; it's part of the HTML document.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
Please to being more sensitive, dickwad.

That's highley unlikely.

Zolcos · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

PHPeed all over my server:
Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.
Now that I understand the cause, I can honestly say the real WTF here is PHP! Even MAKE has simpler white-space rules than this! Why can't PHP interpreter handle that? Is it every PHP version?

You have to send headers before content. This restriction is integral to HTTP

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
I am not a fukking fake retarded Indian. I am really Bob's adopted Indian son. Please to being more sensitive, dickwad.

Weren't we all a dickwad at some point? Think about it.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

THE Zuy-Guy (You Know You Love Me):
Nagesh:
I am not a fukking fake retarded Indian. I am really Bob's adopted Indian son. Please to being more sensitive, dickwad.
Weren't we all a dickwad at some point? Think about it.

True, but most of us have moved on.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
BobB:
For my current job, I didn't need a psych test, yay? However, I remember in between jobs I interviewed at a local gas station chain to be a clerk (sales associate/pump overlord/whatever). Everyone was required to take a 60 min fill in the circles test where they basically asked the same 10 questions about, "You wouldn't steal from us, right?" worded many different ways in many different scenarios. The last few were 'fill in here what you would do in X scenario above', stuff like, "A worker has stolen paperclips from the office area! They don't like they are returning them, when you confront them about it, how will you go about convincing them to return the company's paperclips!?"
Just once I want to take one of these stupid things and respond with something like, "First I would try to convince my fellow employee that stealing is wrong, even if it is 2 pennies worth of paperclips that have been mangled beyond any functional use, and that he should return them to their proper places immediately. If my fellow coworker does not agree with me and argues that the equipment is indeed his as no one else will get functional use of them, I would call upon the powers of the Norse and materialize my trusty claymore into my hands so that I can slay the enemy of my company, who was thoughtful enough to provide me with this minimum wage job! Afterwards, I will move decap'd employee to cold storage so that I can take him out with the trash later. Wouldn't want to miss tending to any customers because I had to return company paperclips, right?"

Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

It was for job at gas station, not curator of the Smithsonian.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
THE Zuy-Guy (You Know You Love Me):
Nagesh:
Please to being more sensitive, dickwad.
Weren't we all a dickwad at some point? Think about it.
True, but most of us have moved on.

Precisely, my good chum. We were all dickwads at some point, and now we produce our own (or consume, whatever way you lean). I'm not here to judge, just to point and laugh. This is why no form of sex should ever be illegal. What greater impoverishment is there to my very purpose for existing then to prohibit my fuckery? Well, other people's fuckery, too. This isn't about just me. Which leads me to my next point: endangered species. What's the deal? Why do the national parks have to keep retrieving their bald eagles? Do we not fancy ourselves a progressive society? Shouldn't we be reaching for ever-higher highs? And what are we reaching for now higher high than fucking something... not just to death... but to extinction?

Nothing. Not a thing. Just food for some homeless children. I've got something they can chew on.

Thank you for your time, loyal reader. !tuo, naM-enuZ

P.S. Did you know that having sex with a virgin can cure a man of AIDS? That's the word on the street, anyway. If the lamestream media would stop oppressing independent voices, we could get the word out and put an end to this epidemic once and for all!!!

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

@P.S. - Now the export tubes of the technologically focused are sure to be unsafe - occupied, even! Vehemently occupied!

congnor · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

Well, tdwtf is the home of nerds, geeks, pedants and sons of trollfuckers. Let this be a lesson and don't wave your intelligence around here next time.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

congnor:
trtrwtf:
Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

Well, tdwtf is the home of nerds, geeks, pedants and sons of trollfuckers. Let this be a lesson and don't wave your intelligence around here next time.

I'll never make that mistake again. Matterhorn!

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Well, the answer to that "headers already sent" can be more complex.

The scripts may have been previously saved with an editor that introduces the UTF BOM (Byte Order Marker). When you open the file in Notepad, it would automatically detect the two bytes and won't show them but alas, they're still there in the file.

PHP currently treats all files as ascii or files encoded in the whatever code page user has so the BOM is considered html content.

Another possibility is that those characters that forced the headers to be sent were actually in some script file that had a class inside - in the current script, maybe a class function was called, which caused the class to be auto load which was loaded when the class contained in the script was called at the line where the error was reported.

Another possibility is that the php was recently upgraded and some dumb guy left error reporting on and since some things can get deprecated, new warnings can show up... so somewhere in some script a warning/error got triggered.

frits · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.

That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?

congnor · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
congnor:
trtrwtf:
Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

Well, tdwtf is the home of nerds, geeks, pedants and sons of trollfuckers. Let this be a lesson and don't wave your intelligence around here next time.

I'll never make that mistake again. Matterhorn!

YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! Matterhorn is a mountain in europe but you are clearly commenting on a virtual mountain of incompetence built on the corpses of stupid programmers.

Anyway, coffee?

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

congnor:
trtrwtf:
congnor:
trtrwtf:
Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

Well, tdwtf is the home of nerds, geeks, pedants and sons of trollfuckers. Let this be a lesson and don't wave your intelligence around here next time.

I'll never make that mistake again. Matterhorn!

YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! Matterhorn is a mountain in europe but you are clearly commenting on a virtual mountain of incompetence built on the corpses of stupid programmers.

Anyway, coffee?

In Hyderabad, matterhorn also refer to explicit action with family members.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.
That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?

You're telling me Nagesh (or any of his unregistered sock puppets) was once clever? Highly unlikely...

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

congnor:
trtrwtf:
I'll never make that mistake again. Matterhorn!
YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! Matterhorn is a mountain in europe but you are clearly commenting on a virtual mountain of incompetence built on the corpses of stupid programmers.
Anyway, coffee?

Where? And I'm not referring to which restaurant/store I find coffee does a much better job of making me feel fresh and purged than just water, saline and a stick to comp down on. So long as I'm not just drinking it like a square...

Did you think he might not be talking about the mountain, but instead the grave matter ofhishorn?Which, if your eye-socket looks purdy enough, becomes a truly grave matter. He's warning you of the fury he's about to unleash by shouting it.Like when my toddler is babbling to much and I shout "Swoltzenass!"

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

congnor:
trtrwtf:
congnor:
trtrwtf:
Jim Barrows:
trtrwtf:
BobB:
trtrwtf:
Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

I apologize if you are indeed Norse and I have offended you and/or your people.

Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

Finnish huh? and you're sending guys in HORNED helmets? Shenanigans! You're really an American whose seen too much Hollywood aren't you?

Oh, damn. I've been caught. Never thought anyone would figure that one out.

Well, tdwtf is the home of nerds, geeks, pedants and sons of trollfuckers. Let this be a lesson and don't wave your intelligence around here next time.

I'll never make that mistake again. Matterhorn!

YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! Matterhorn is a mountain in europe but you are clearly commenting on a virtual mountain of incompetence built on the corpses of stupid programmers.

Criminy, you're good.

Anyway, coffee?

Please. Cream, two sugars. Thanks.

congnor · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

(...load of bullshit...)

Nagesh:
congnor:
Anyway, coffee?
In Hyderabad, matterhorn also refer to coffee drinking with family members.

Well it's all ok then?

boog · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.
That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?

In Hyderabad, all Nageshen are clever.

frits · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

boog:
frits:
Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.
That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?
In Hyderabad, all Nageshen are clever.

Cool. I'm pretty happy that "In Hyderabad..." is becoming a meme. ;)

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
frits:
Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.
That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?
You're telling me Nagesh (or any of his unregistered sock puppets) was once clever? Highly unlikely...

I am thinking that upon one time, the dodge that is having been used by Nagesh was quite deep and subtle and clever. He is having thought of a persona which is allowing him to make arch comments about coding and about racism of certain American programmers also.

And it is also by the way that I am not now Nagesh's sock puppet, but he is mine, for I am the hand and he is the sock.

boog · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

frits:
boog:
frits:
What happened to clever Nagesh?
In Hyderabad, all Nageshen are clever.
Cool. I'm pretty happy that "In Hyderabad..." is becoming a meme. ;)

Yeah, I just hope it doesn't get overused or repetitive. That would never happen on this site, would it?

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
infantree is lieing out of his teeth.

Why do you purposely mispell English wordings? Everybody knows Indians receive a perfectly serviceable, if a little archaic, English education. Your behaviour makes me want to do the needful and put Bhut Jolokia on Q-Tip and insert it in an uncomfortable place.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Johnny B Coder:
FRIST!
I had a job interview like the the last one once. An hour of psych questions, and a 5 min interview with the technical lead. Didnt get the SQL DBA job supposedly because I wasnt technically qualified. Wierd since I had been teaching the Microsoft SQL Server admin classes for several years.

Always wondered what my psych scores were....

No offence, but "He who can does, he who can't teaches". Some of the worst people I've worked with come from highly academic backgrounds, and insist that the whole world actually works according to a book - and when it doesn't it's because we're doing it wrong. Theory is all beaut and fine, and it's good to have something to aim at, but the reality is that theory is closer to a guide than any hard and fast rules - and if it's not, you have a problem

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

The MAZZTer:
I can think of a specific case where that crazy PHP "fix" would actually work:
If you have whitespace at the end of a PHP file and you include it as a header, the whitespace will be sent as content, thus preventing you from sending more headers in your main PHP file after including the file. Removing the whitespace from the end of the file would fix it (IIRC).

In any case it's clear the interviewee doesn't quite understand what's going on. He figured out how to fix it in a specific case, possibly by accident, but he clearly doesn't know what it means or why it happens.

Uhm, he clearly googled it - it is the most common probelem, according to google....

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

BobB:
For my current job, I didn't need a psych test, yay? However, I remember in between jobs I interviewed at a local gas station chain to be a clerk (sales associate/pump overlord/whatever). Everyone was required to take a 60 min fill in the circles test where they basically asked the same 10 questions about, "You wouldn't steal from us, right?" worded many different ways in many different scenarios. The last few were 'fill in here what you would do in X scenario above', stuff like, "A worker has stolen paperclips from the office area! They don't like they are returning them, when you confront them about it, how will you go about convincing them to return the company's paperclips!?"
Just once I want to take one of these stupid things and respond with something like, "First I would try to convince my fellow employee that stealing is wrong, even if it is 2 pennies worth of paperclips that have been mangled beyond any functional use, and that he should return them to their proper places immediately. If my fellow coworker does not agree with me and argues that the equipment is indeed his as no one else will get functional use of them, I would call upon the powers of the Norse and materialize my trusty claymore into my hands so that I can slay the enemy of my company, who was thoughtful enough to provide me with this minimum wage job! Afterwards, I will move decap'd employee to cold storage so that I can take him out with the trash later. Wouldn't want to miss tending to any customers because I had to return company paperclips, right?"

Since we're going off topic anyways (I see someoene's restarting a thread about you and your claymores...): I once went for a job driving public buses. At interview, there were all sorts of situation questions, where the normal answer seemed to be "contact depot via radio". Eventually, the following exchange occured: Interviewer: "Suppose you are in the city at stop W1 across from the railway station, doing a 153 on the down, and a truck collects your off-side (driver's side) mirror, what would you do?" Me: "Call depot and report that the vehicle has been involved in an accident, and is missing 1 off-side mirror" Interviewer: "I happen to be the despatcher, and I advise that you should proceed on route with caution to stop 9 Port Road, where a service van will be waiting for you" Me: "But I'm missing my driving mirror...which renders the vehicle un-roadworthy" Interviewer: "The law allows an unroadworthy vehicle to be driven a minimum distance required to repair it - the company's view is that the closest place we can repair it is stop 9" (though I didn't think of it at the time, there was a depot closer...and that depot could have actually sent out their mechanics) Me: "But I don't believe it's safe to drive a Heavy Vehicle with no mirror - it's how I see what's coming as I pull away from the kerb" Interviewer: "What would you do in a car if you lost a mirror?" Me: "That's different - a car is smaller, and allows far better views simply by looking over your shoulder" Interviewer: "The company would expect that you continue as directed to the nearest service point - this would mean sticking your head out the window to check for traffic" Me: "You're joking!?! You expect me to stick my head out a window where a truck has just passed close enough to take the mirror off?" <short pause> Interviewer: "Silly as it sounds, that's what we'd expect"

Interestingly I got the job, and thankfully I never lost an offside mirror (although several nearside ones).

What a lovely story - I love stories!

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

TRWTF is the programmers who put the closing ?> at the end of the file at all. PHP makes it optional for a reason!

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.

Or perhaps the interviewee in the story later got a job with WordPress...

boog · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Blue:
Johnny B Coder:
Didnt get the SQL DBA job supposedly because I wasnt technically qualified. Wierd since I had been teaching the Microsoft SQL Server admin classes for several years.
No offence, but "He who can does, he who can't teaches". Some of the worst people I've worked with come from highly academic backgrounds, and insist that the whole world actually works according to a book...

Really? Because some of the worst people I've worked with come from academic backgrounds that are completely unrelated to software development or computers or using-their-brains-for-any-kind-of-thought-making (that's not to say that all such people made for crappy developers). I often wonder why the fuck (or how) these people are doing my job.

At least the "academic-programmers" get my jokes... well, some of them.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Nah...it's the relative minor.

2011-10-18 Reply Admin

Bobby Tables:
Jean:
The answers to the PHP question must have been ripped off the Wordpress documentation.
Wow, that's pretty bad. Not only did he rip from documentation, he ripped from crappy documentation. "For at least 15 seconds", really?
Anyway, the answer to that question is to check if there is any echos before the "header" call. PHP errors can also echo to the screen, so check for those too. White space before the <?php can cause the error, but I didn't think white space after the ?> mattered.

I'm no PHP expert (in fact I steer as far around it as possible, most times), but I suspect if multiple files are being included then space AFTER the ?> in one file, equates to space BEFORE the <?php in another.... I assume the ; got in there by mistake....

Matt Westwood · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

BobB:
For my current job, I didn't need a psych test, yay? However, I remember in between jobs I interviewed at a local gas station chain to be a clerk (sales associate/pump overlord/whatever). Everyone was required to take a 60 min fill in the circles test where they basically asked the same 10 questions about, "You wouldn't steal from us, right?" worded many different ways in many different scenarios. The last few were 'fill in here what you would do in X scenario above', stuff like, "A worker has stolen paperclips from the office area! They don't like they are returning them, when you confront them about it, how will you go about convincing them to return the company's paperclips!?"
Just once I want to take one of these stupid things and respond with something like, "First I would try to convince my fellow employee that stealing is wrong, even if it is 2 pennies worth of paperclips that have been mangled beyond any functional use, and that he should return them to their proper places immediately. If my fellow coworker does not agree with me and argues that the equipment is indeed his as no one else will get functional use of them, I would call upon the powers of the Norse and materialize my trusty claymore into my hands so that I can slay the enemy of my company, who was thoughtful enough to provide me with this minimum wage job! Afterwards, I will move decap'd employee to cold storage so that I can take him out with the trash later. Wouldn't want to miss tending to any customers because I had to return company paperclips, right?"

This has to be one of the stupidest questions in the world. What the fucking fucky shitty fuck-fuck would anybody WANT to steal any fucking fucking paper clips in the fucking FIRST PLACE?

If (a) an employee feels the need to steal paper clips, there's something seriously wrong with him, and (b) if the employer is actually upset about the fact that an employee has pocketed a few paper clips from off the desk, then I'd ring up the local loony bin and call for the men in white coats to haul them off in fucking straitjackets. I mean, jesus fucking horticultural cobolwriting christ.

Matt Westwood · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
BobB:
For my current job, I didn't need a psych test, yay? However, I remember in between jobs I interviewed at a local gas station chain to be a clerk (sales associate/pump overlord/whatever). Everyone was required to take a 60 min fill in the circles test where they basically asked the same 10 questions about, "You wouldn't steal from us, right?" worded many different ways in many different scenarios. The last few were 'fill in here what you would do in X scenario above', stuff like, "A worker has stolen paperclips from the office area! They don't like they are returning them, when you confront them about it, how will you go about convincing them to return the company's paperclips!?"
Just once I want to take one of these stupid things and respond with something like, "First I would try to convince my fellow employee that stealing is wrong, even if it is 2 pennies worth of paperclips that have been mangled beyond any functional use, and that he should return them to their proper places immediately. If my fellow coworker does not agree with me and argues that the equipment is indeed his as no one else will get functional use of them, I would call upon the powers of the Norse and materialize my trusty claymore into my hands so that I can slay the enemy of my company, who was thoughtful enough to provide me with this minimum wage job! Afterwards, I will move decap'd employee to cold storage so that I can take him out with the trash later. Wouldn't want to miss tending to any customers because I had to return company paperclips, right?"

Not to get sidetracked, but what do claymores (" a large sword used in the late Medieval and early modern periods... used in the constant clan warfare and border fights with the English from circa 1400 to 1700") have to do with the Norse ("the Scandinavian population of the period from the late 8th century to the 11th century")?

Because many of the inhabitants of the North of Scotland are descendants of the Norse. You can tell them by the fact that they are over 6 foot and have seriously red hair. You don't want to say "Fanta pants" in their vicinity.

Check out the name of the most northerly part of Scotland - it's called "Sutherland". South of what? Go see if you can find an atlas which has north west Europe on it and see what I mean.

Matt Westwood · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

BobB:
trtrwtf:
Actually, I just checked my passports, and one of them does say I'm Finnish. I'm just dispatching a longboat full of large beardy guys in horned helmets to exact vengeance in blood for the offense you've given. What's your location?

I'm in Oklahoma, US. I got a whole raiding party full of Apache braves. Bring it!

Can I come? My Tomcat will take them all on.

Matt Westwood · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

frits:
boog:
frits:
Nagesh:
boog:
frits:
Former Marine infantryman here.
That's highley unlikely.

infantree is lieing out of his teeth.
That doesn't even make sense. What happened to clever Nagesh?
In Hyderabad, all Nageshen are clever.
Cool. I'm pretty happy that "In Hyderabad..." is becoming a meme. ;)

But don't drink the hyd(e)ra, it's bad.

Matt Westwood · 2011-10-18 Reply Admin

boog:
frits:
boog:
frits:
What happened to clever Nagesh?
In Hyderabad, all Nageshen are clever.
Cool. I'm pretty happy that "In Hyderabad..." is becoming a meme. ;)
Yeah, I just hope it doesn't get overused or repetitive. That would never happen on this site, would it?

That's not funny: My son was overused and repetitive, and let me assure you, it was no laughing matter. I saw your one line reply referring to Paula Bean and it's not big or clever so fuck off. You're too young and stupid to be using the internet, so get off my lawn!

Bent Glugstork.

The High-Security Interview, The PHP Candidate, and Overqualified

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