The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

chubertdev · 2014-03-03 Reply Admin

HardwareGeek:
¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
Burner:
The real, real WTF, is someone in this industry gets to take 6 weeks in a row for vacation. I'm lucky to get 6 days in a row.
FTFY. I get two weeks. At a previous company we had PTO, so I could take 4 if I wasn't sick.
I would guess that submitter is French, except they don't have to deal with SOX in France. Who gets six weeks vacation anywhere in the US? (other than stuff like teachers getting summers off)
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.

Janine? Maternity leave.

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Remy Porter:
For starters, I don't even think the Office license permits that use. But beyond that, an extremely thick client application, built for interactive use, has no place at all on a server.
There are APIs for manipulating Office docs that don't require Office installed on your machine. The current incarnation is the OpenXML SDK, which is not the greatest API ever built for document manipulation, but it is a vastly superior option (and there are some great third party libraries built atop it).

As somebody working with the OpenXML SDK right now, "not the greatest" is perhaps one of the greatest understatements of all time.

The spec is dense and confusing and Word seems to do random things for no good reason to your documents. You'd think a search and replace would be about as simple as it gets, but not when Word arbitrarily decides to split the string you are looking for over multiple tags because "fuck you".

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Anon:
Remy Porter:
For starters, I don't even think the Office license permits that use. But beyond that, an extremely thick client application, built for interactive use, has no place at all on a server.
There are APIs for manipulating Office docs that don't require Office installed on your machine. The current incarnation is the OpenXML SDK, which is not the greatest API ever built for document manipulation, but it is a vastly superior option (and there are some great third party libraries built atop it).

As somebody working with the OpenXML SDK right now, "not the greatest" is perhaps one of the greatest understatements of all time.

The spec is dense and confusing and Word seems to do random things for no good reason to your documents. You'd think a search and replace would be about as simple as it gets, but not when Word arbitrarily decides to split the string you are looking for over multiple tags because "fuck you".

Also a giant WTF (since I'm on a rant), if you have a conditional field in your document like:

{ IF 1 > 0 "foo" "bar" }

Word won't automatically reevaluate that when you open the document. At best, you can set a setting to have it nag (and confuse) the user when they open the doc by asking if they want to update.

However, you can use something called an "altChunk" and insert a whole other document or even HTML, including external links, and Word will happily open that document and insert that altChunk without asking. Including grabbing external content on the web if you have, for example, images on the web.

Apparently, evaluating "IF 1 > 0" is too risky but loading arbitrary crap from the internet is just peachy.

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Geoff:
Why is the cheif of security a bridge officer? I never could understand that. Now now I know Worf also was essentially the chief gunner/artillery officer and it probably makes sense to have that station manned at all times given the rather quite hostile universe Star Trek is set in; the do go into action often.
Which leaves us with why does the Artillery officer have responsibility to manage the "military police" on the ship? Seems like a pretty different set of scope and competencies.

Yes I know everyone with CISSP has to learn how high to mount the flood lights and where to install man traps, but I have yet to encounter any business anywhere were the same manger has the renta-cops who sit at the desk in the lobby and the firewall admins as direct reports. I have never served in any branch of the military so maybe that overlap is more common there, which would make the organizational structure on Star Trek make much more sense, but it still strikes me as odd.

Why do you think Commander Worf has responsibility to manage the "military police" on the ship? He is never shown giving orders about investigating a crime or quelling a disturbance. It is unlikely that the term "Security Department" refers to Star Fleet internal police.

Even in the Star Trek universe, most people spend their entire lives on their home world. To travel among the stars is a great privilege, and the privileged few like to think that they hold themselves to a higher standard of behavior than the planet bound. I mean, look at those people. They are so politically correct they squeak. Of course, human nature being what it is, they still need a police force, but they can't call it by that name. It's probably called something like the "Psychological Monitoring Dept" or "Behavioral Baseline Bureau".

"Security Section" OTOH apparently derives from the requirement to provide "security" (armed protection) against the potential and actual external hazard attendant on boldly going where no fool has gone before. Mister Worf is in fact the commander of a military force detailed to protect the Enterprise from external attack, and not the chief of a futuristic band of cops.

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Paul Neumann:
HardwareGeek:
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.
Next PTO form I fill out will have `editorial embellishment` listed for the reason.
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO

I typed your symptoms into the Internet. It says you have network connectivity problems.

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Jake:
Paul Neumann:
HardwareGeek:
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.
Next PTO form I fill out will have `editorial embellishment` listed for the reason.
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO
I typed your symptoms into the Internet. It says you have network connectivity problems.

I already use that for work from home excuses.

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

I have always thought TRWTF was Start Trek, but now I realise it's Star Trek fans.....

It's not real, people!

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

chubertdev:
HardwareGeek:
¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
Burner:
The real, real WTF, is someone in this industry gets to take 6 weeks in a row for vacation. I'm lucky to get 6 days in a row.
FTFY. I get two weeks. At a previous company we had PTO, so I could take 4 if I wasn't sick.
I would guess that submitter is French, except they don't have to deal with SOX in France. Who gets six weeks vacation anywhere in the US? (other than stuff like teachers getting summers off)
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.

Janine? Maternity leave.

That's so sexist!

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Paul Neumann:
HardwareGeek:
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.
Next PTO form I fill out will have `editorial embellishment` listed for the reason.
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO

Why is that a WTF? We have to fill out a form that sends an out of office message to the appropriate people. It asks what you're doing. You can say where you'll be if you want, so people know (and so you can see it in the time-off request history later), or you can just say "vacation" if you want.

And what kind of wacked-out place are people working for, that they won't let you save up your vacation? You only get 2 weeks of vacation to start where I am, but it accrues up to 30 days before they make you use some. Are there really (professional software development, not like working as a cashier at a Walmart) places where that isn't the case?

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

pjt33:
DCRoss:
Aboard the USS Voyager, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, as security chief, had thirteen department heads report to him every day on ship's protocol. (VOY: "Scientific Method")
That sounds like an awfully flat hierarchy. What happened to the rule of seven?

Of nine?

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

Mick:
I have always thought TRWTF was Start Trek, but now I realise it's Star Trek fans.....
It's not real, people!

Start Trek - That's the new Windows 8, right?

2014-03-03 Reply Admin

The 'Easy Reader' version is TRWTF.

Zemm · 2014-03-04 Reply Admin

Paul Neumann:
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO

I just put "time off". They don't need more detail than that.

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
Burner:
The real, real WTF, is someone in this industry gets to take 6 weeks in a row for vacation. I'm lucky to get 6 days in a row.
FTFY. I get two weeks. At a previous company we had PTO, so I could take 4 if I wasn't sick.
I would guess that submitter is French, except they don't have to deal with SOX in France. Who gets six weeks vacation anywhere in the US? (other than stuff like teachers getting summers off)

The president's daughter?

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

My god...if there's a textbook example of the seagull management style it's this

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

neminem:
Paul Neumann:
HardwareGeek:
The story did not say it was vacation. It could be something like medical leave. It could also editorial embellishment.
Next PTO form I fill out will have `editorial embellishment` listed for the reason.
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO

Why is that a WTF? We have to fill out a form that sends an out of office message to the appropriate people. It asks what you're doing. You can say where you'll be if you want, so people know (and so you can see it in the time-off request history later), or you can just say "vacation" if you want.

And what kind of wacked-out place are people working for, that they won't let you save up your vacation? You only get 2 weeks of vacation to start where I am, but it accrues up to 30 days before they make you use some. Are there really (professional software development, not like working as a cashier at a Walmart) places where that isn't the case?

Yup. Here. I am a contract developer at a large corporation (>10000 employees). I've been developing for 25 years. At this gig, I get 80 hours of PTO. I use it or I lose all but 40 that will roll over. Only 40 hours will EVER roll over. After 10 years, I'll get 120 hours. Yay me!

Yeah, not industry standard AT ALL.

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

[quote user="Damien"][quote user="Steve The Cynic"][quote user="noname"]Frist? /snip We had a situation where an application we'd been using for ages was always abbreviated to a 3 letter acronym - e.g. FCD. Then, one of our departments, in their wisdom, decided to rename themselves to FCD. /snip

I can see having a Fuster Cluck Director application -- you probably wouldn't want all that action to happen spontaneously; but ...

you actually have a Fuster Cluck Department?!?

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

deezil:
Got one better. Old VB6 app. Users wanted spell checking on a couple of text fields. Developers passed the text into Word, ran the spell check, and sent it back.

I actually had to change a VB6 text field into an embedded Word object. Things never did work quite right after that...

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

Zemm:
Paul Neumann:
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO
I just put "time off". They don't need more detail than that.

Some places will require the reason for approval/denial of time off. -- And yes, I choose to work these no more.

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

GiGNiC:
Remy Porter:
Ahhhh, Office Automation. To this day, we have a few apps lurking around that require Excel to be installed on the web server so they can manipulate spreadsheets.
We have some tools in production (of electronics devices) that require Worf and Excel to generate test reports and QA certificates (or fill in templates, at least). I'm not convinced it's all that WTF-y.

FTFY. K'plah!

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

[quote user="ochrist"][quote user="Damien"] We had a situation where an application we'd been using for ages was always abbreviated to a 3 letter acronym - e.g. FCD. Then, one of our departments, in their wisdom, decided to rename themselves to FCD. [/quote]

I worked in an outfit that called its IT department Management Information Services. The plaque on the desk of the receptionist read MIS Information . One of the most accurate job titles in the system.

Lorne Kates · 2014-03-04 Reply Admin

Algorythmics:
WHY IS WORF THERE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND

WHY IS WORF THERE.

I DORN UNDERSTAND.

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

sigh The correct response would have been a "Reply-All" to the email thread, saying:

All,

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'm investigating the issue. I expect to have a resolution by end-of-week.

Thanks, Kelly

Then, around mid-afternoon the next day, follow-up with (again, Reply-All):

All,

The issue has been resolved.

Thanks, Kelly

2014-03-04 Reply Admin

Paul Neumann:
Zemm:
Paul Neumann:
The real WTF -- needing to supply a reason to use earned PTO
I just put "time off". They don't need more detail than that.
Some places will require the reason for approval/denial of time off. -- And yes, I choose to work these no more.

The polite way to say it is "personal leave".

galgorah · 2014-03-04 Reply Admin

¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL:
Burner:
The real, real WTF, is someone in this industry gets to take 6 weeks in a row for vacation. I'm lucky to get 6 days in a row.
FTFY. I get two weeks. At a previous company we had PTO, so I could take 4 if I wasn't sick.
I would guess that submitter is French, except they don't have to deal with SOX in France. Who gets six weeks vacation anywhere in the US? (other than stuff like teachers getting summers off)

I get 34 days off a year to use however I want.

AndyCanfield · 2014-03-05 Reply Admin

This is EXACTLY why I never use acronyms for my program names. If I have something that handles Farmers, Seeds, and Materials, I will not name it "FSM". Take a few more characters and name it "FASEMAT" and you've got something that is globally unique, pronounceable, and user friendly. Well, at least the name is user friendly.

2014-03-05 Reply Admin

To paraphrase the story:

"Blah blah blah blah Dr. Who reference blah blah blah. Kelly thought she was making a mistake and indeed was. Kelly is an incompetent idiot. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Janine is also an incompetent idiot."

2014-03-05 Reply Admin

See, that's why it's a good idea to start looking around when the company you're working for starts to outgrow its management capabilities ...

2014-03-05 Reply Admin

[quote user="¯(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL"][quote user="Burner"]

I would guess that submitter is French, except they don't have to deal with SOX in France. Who gets six weeks vacation anywhere in the US? (other than stuff like teachers getting summers off)[/quote]

France is not the only country where you get holidays you know. With a 40 hour working week you get 30+ days off in most of Europe.

Also, it could be based in Europe even with the SOX: an American multinational with branches in Europe for example. They still need to comply with SOX but they also need to comply with local social law (... no matter how hard they try to circumvent it).

2014-03-05 Reply Admin

YellowOnline:
France is not the only country where you get holidays you know. With a 40 hour working week you get 30+ days off in most of Europe.

In the UK, the legal minimum is 28 days.

But you are unlikely to find somewhere that will let you take a 6 week chunk all at once. If they do, then I'd start worrying for your job, since they've obviously decided you're surplus to requirements.

chubertdev · 2014-03-05 Reply Admin

AndyCanfield:
This is EXACTLY why I never use acronyms for my program names. If I have something that handles Farmers, Seeds, and Materials, I will ***not*** name it "FSM". Take a few more characters and name it "FASEMAT" and you've got something that is globally unique, pronounceable, and user friendly. Well, at least the name is user friendly.

The other problem that you would have with a program named FSM is that only a rather low percentage of people will believe that it exists.

2014-03-05 Reply Admin

kilroo:
Geoff:
30into:
Chief Security Officer?
Isn't that the true WTF right there? Why is the cheif of security a bridge officer? I never could understand that. Now now I know Worf also was essentially the chief gunner/artillery officer and it probably makes sense to have that station manned at all times given the rather quite hostile universe Star Trek is set in; the do go into action often.
Which leaves us with why does the Artillery officer have responsibility to manage the "military police" on the ship? Seems like a pretty different set of scope and competencies.

Yes I know everyone with CISSP has to learn how high to mount the flood lights and where to install man traps, but I have yet to encounter any business anywhere were the same manger has the renta-cops who sit at the desk in the lobby and the firewall admins as direct reports. I have never served in any branch of the military so maybe that overlap is more common there, which would make the organizational structure on Star Trek make much more sense, but it still strikes me as odd.

I don't think he was a bridge officer because he was Chief of Security. He wore multiple hats; his bridge officer position was Tactical Officer. I may be remembering this part wrong, but I believe he was already a Tactical Officer before he became Chief of Security.

In the Star Trek universe, tactical officer is a category, not a position. The three broad categories are command officers (red shirts), tactical officers (gold shirts), and science officers (blue shirts). Worf was actually a command officer when he joined the Enterprise way back when. He wore red and was a helmsman at first. He took up the gold (became a tactical officer) when Yar (the previous Chief of Security) got killed.

Worf later started wearing red again when he went to Deep Space Nine.

So why is the Chief of Security a bridge officer? Basically, it's because he's in charge of the ship's security. And there are many threats to the ship's security -- from the occasional stowaway to the latest Romulan threat, etc. Think of "security" in terms of "national security", not "security guard". Worf's skills as a warrior make him ideal for dealing with these issues.

2014-03-06 Reply Admin

Damien:
And this department were heavy users of FCD

Makes it sound like some kind of mind-altering substance.

2014-03-06 Reply Admin

Because he is chief of security (after season 1), and Worf was played by Michael Dorn.

This story was slightly depressing... how could so many people be this stupid and have so little real work to do? Every 'action' the endless quagmire of management 'took' could have been replaced with

nop nop nop . . .

ad infinitum... and yet I'm sure every one of them makes at least twice what I make

2014-03-15 Reply Admin

Because the security teams scattered throughout the ship had to report to a senior officer charged with the security of the ship, and it made sense to give the responsibility to the weapons officer as most of the time they would have little to do bar drills and maintenance, plus the job roles are similar and a lot of the skills are transferable.

2014-04-13 Reply Admin

Damien:
Steve The Cynic:
noname:
Frist? Well, closing down an application while on holidays for six weeks is a gigantic WTF in my eyes.
It's actually worse than that. She *didn't* close it down. She just posted a *lie* to discourage people from using it, so whatever the reason she wanted it not used, it is unlikely to have (at a 100% level) the desired effect. And I'm mildly curious (and the HTML source comments provide no insight) as to what this person thought she'd gain by doing this.
And yes, having two applications with the same name is a WTF, especially since one of them was named after a class of application-description document because the description of the application was stored in that category.

We had a situation where an application we'd been using for ages was always abbreviated to a 3 letter acronym - e.g. FCD. Then, one of our departments, in their wisdom, decided to rename themselves to FCD.

Which made for a joyful time when people would start talking about FCD Users and you always had to work out whether they were talking about the department's user's of various applications, the users (across all departments) that used the FCD application, or something else.

And this department were heavy users of FCD, so they couldn't claim they weren't aware of it beforehand.

It's no coincidence that, if you add the letters U, K and E, you describe perfectly the properties of that decision.

2018-02-07 Reply Admin

What the fuck is ICSP? In Circuit Serial Programming? Intelligent CyberSecurity Platform? Interagency Committee on Standards Policy? Seriously, I have no fucking clue what ICSP is supposed to mean. Frustrating!

The Out of Office Outage

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