• Mike (unregistered)

    Will you have barbecue afterwards?

    Because we really want OMGWTFBBQ!

  • Tom Ritchford (unregistered)

    What a shame it requires Windows... after being a professional programmer for 25 years, I still don't own a Windows machine (and I've written hundreds of thousands of lines of C++ too...)

    I don't exactly understand why you did this, either. Seems like there's absolutely no need for it as the code is pure C++. Care to explain?

  • DoOver (unregistered)

    The winner should be dubbed OMGWTFLOL, the latter piece standing for "Language Obliteration Laureate".

  • stratos (cs)

    I love the idea :)

    Also i only dabbled in C/C++ under linux, and did most of my gtk design in glade, so i'll be perfect for a high score ;)

    Now off to find some windows vmware image.

  • th0mas (unregistered) in reply to Tom Ritchford
    Tom Ritchford:
    What a shame it requires Windows... after being a professional programmer for 25 years, I still don't own a Windows machine (and I've written hundreds of thousands of lines of C++ too...)

    I don't exactly understand why you did this, either. Seems like there's absolutely no need for it as the code is pure C++. Care to explain?

    The explanation is pretty simple: you can use linux too. RTFA.

  • Otto (unregistered)

    Let me get this straight: one of the prizes is a Mac, but if you actually write code on Mac OS X then you can't enter the contest? Talk about a daily WTF!

  • makomk (cs) in reply to Otto

    If the promised GTK+ 2.0 skeleton solution shows up, any Mac users should be able to use that...

  • Volmarias (cs) in reply to Otto

    This is gonna be a cheap idea, but...

    You've posted the test cases, all of them. What's to prevent me from simply hardcoding the answers to those, and calling that my WTF and submitting?

  • Frustrated with our architecture (unregistered) in reply to Otto

    Maybe I'm just blind, but I don't see anything about a deadline. When is the submission deadline for this contest?

  • a moron (unregistered)

    Um, isn't the mac now an extension of linux?

    Captcha: muhahaha

    Yes I know that I am a moron

  • Frustrated with our architecture (unregistered) in reply to Frustrated with our architecture
    Frustrated with our architecture:
    Maybe I'm just blind, but I don't see anything about a deadline. When is the submission deadline for this contest?

    Nevermind, I am blind. The deadling is May 14.

  • joe.edwards (cs)

    Come on, let me do it in C#. Pretty please?

  • b0red (unregistered) in reply to Frustrated with our architecture
    Frustrated with our architecture:
    Maybe I'm just blind, but I don't see anything about a deadline. When is the submission deadline for this contest?

    That'd be perfectly legit. Form the contest site: "If it passes all of these, then congratulations, you’ve built a fully-functioning calculator so far as we’re concerned."

  • strictnein (cs) in reply to Tom Ritchford
    Tom Ritchford:
    What a shame it requires Windows... after being a professional programmer for 25 years, I still don't own a Windows machine (and I've written hundreds of thousands of lines of C++ too...)

    I don't exactly understand why you did this, either. Seems like there's absolutely no need for it as the code is pure C++. Care to explain?

    For the Linux folks out there, you may use the mostly equivalent GTK skeleton solution.

    Maybe you should RTFA before you start up your bitch and moan routine.

  • Marak (unregistered)

    Test cases.

    What is up with the test cases? Is it still considered a valid entry if all those cases are hard coded into the application?

    Please answer this! It is very important to how I will pick my design.

  • Jake Vinson (cs) in reply to Volmarias
    Volmarias:
    This is gonna be a cheap idea, but...

    You've posted the test cases, all of them. What's to prevent me from simply hardcoding the answers to those, and calling that my WTF and submitting?

    There's nothing stopping you from that. You could even hardcode the thing for the exact order of key presses required to pass the test cases. This is for fun, we don't care if your calculator barely works as long as it passes the guidelines we've posted.

  • Me (unregistered)
    Tom Ritchford:
    What a shame it requires Windows... after being a professional programmer for 25 years, I still don't own a Windows machine (and I've written hundreds of thousands of lines of C++ too...)

    I don't exactly understand why you did this, either. Seems like there's absolutely no need for it as the code is pure C++. Care to explain?

    Otto:
    Let me get this straight: one of the prizes is a Mac, but if you actually write code on Mac OS X then you can't enter the contest? Talk about a daily WTF!

    It seems we may have some really astounding submissions in the queue...

  • Shinobu (unregistered)

    The whole UI thing scares me away. I don't have Visual Studio and getting the skeleton to work in MINGW or coLinux is probably going to be too much of a bother. Besides, I'm coding some slightly iffy code to keep me amused already. So while I will probably not participate in this context, nonetheless I would like to take this opportunity to give you guys some more rope:

    return evaluateExpression(toString(A) + " + " + toString(B));
    You can write a nice object oriented expression evaluator (leeking memory all the way), overload the + operator for char*, or you can write a compiler (lots of byte codes and black magic). Oh, and throw proper Unicode support in there - there's no end of fun to be had with that. "We wanted to make the engine as generic as possible, to optimally prepare ourselves for future requirements."

  • bw (unregistered) in reply to Marak
    Marak:
    Test cases.

    What is up with the test cases? Is it still considered a valid entry if all those cases are hard coded into the application?

    Please answer this! It is very important to how I will pick my design.

    Design??? Well you've already lost!

  • th0mas (unregistered)

    Can our entry use a database, like mysql for example?

  • wk633 (cs)

    "Nor is it like the International Obfuscated C Coding Contest; in fact, writing code like that would be a surefire way to lose this contest."

    Are you sure? I remember a Factorial solution a few years back that was pretty WTF. It created a source file that solved factorial for n-1, compiled it, exec'ed it, and multiplied the result by n to get the final result.

    Wouldn't it be cool to implement addition by creating a whole bunch of files, and then a whole bunch more, and then counting them? Ooh, I'm giving away my best ideas!

  • Shinobu (unregistered) in reply to th0mas

    Ooh, that's a good one! And XML! Everything will be better if it uses XML extensively.

  • BBT (unregistered) in reply to Volmarias
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Joel (unregistered)

    Hey Alex, I see you finally got around to it :).

    Joel

  • Kiriai (cs)

    Much more amusing then hard coding, would be to open an internet connection, connect to the web page containing the desired results, and then look up the answer by screen-scraping.

    Extra credit to anyone who displays their answers using a flame effect. ;)

  • Otto (unregistered) in reply to a moron
    a moron:
    Um, isn't the mac now an extension of linux?

    No. Mac OS X shares some bits with the various BSDs, but the only thing in common with Linux is certain GNU tools in userspace. More to the point. Macs don't come with GTK and it's not easy getting it running.

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Mike

    WTF is C/C++?

    C or C++, pick one or the other.

  • Zach (unregistered) in reply to Otto

    If you have a Mac, why would you want another one? =p

  • Turambar (unregistered) in reply to Shinobu
    Shinobu:
    The whole UI thing scares me away. I don't have Visual Studio and getting the skeleton to work in MINGW or coLinux is probably going to be too much of a bother. Besides, I'm coding some slightly iffy code to keep me amused already.
    You don't have to use the skeleton. You can create your own UI if you want.
  • Justin Buist (unregistered) in reply to wk633
    wk633:
    Wouldn't it be cool to implement addition by creating a whole bunch of files, and then a whole bunch more, and then counting them? Ooh, I'm giving away my best ideas!

    Nah, screen scrape the total directory size from 'dir'!

  • Aaron Griffin (unregistered) in reply to th0mas
    th0mas:
    Can our entry use a database, like mysql for example?

    Web services!

    By the way, here is my submission, I'm done. I worked real hard.

    package test;

    public class paulaBean {

    private String paula = "Brillant";

    public String getPaula() { return paula; } }

  • Zylon (cs)

    So, apparently this site's mission now is to come up with incredibly lame new meanings for established acronyms?

    WTF.

  • th0mas (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    WTF.

    What's worse than failure?

  • Sarni (unregistered)

    A GUI is required? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Who the fuck needs a GUI? And then fucking C/C++? I think I'll pass.

  • Tom Ritchford's Boyfriend (unregistered) in reply to Tom Ritchford
    Tom Ritchford:
    What a shame it requires Windows... after being a professional programmer for 25 years, I still don't own a Windows machine (and I've written hundreds of thousands of lines of C++ too...)

    I don't exactly understand why you did this, either. Seems like there's absolutely no need for it as the code is pure C++. Care to explain?

    What happened did you run out of tampons today?

    You must be a pretty crappy coder if you can't afford a $300 windows box. And you must be extremely retarded if you can't figure out how to dual boot.

  • mgoss (unregistered)

    Are you limited to one submission or can you submit several?

  • Chris (unregistered)

    Will my new laptop come with award winning calculator software pre-installed?

  • Synonymous Coward (unregistered)

    Sec. 380. Use of Olympic symbols, emblems, trademarks and names

    (a) Unauthorized use; civil action; lawful use prior to September 21, 1950.

    Without the consent of the Corporation, any person who uses for the purpose of trade, to induce the sale of any goods or services, or to promote any theatrical exhibition, athletic performance, or competition -

    (1) the symbol of the International Olympic Committee, consisting of 5 interlocking rings;

    (2) the emblem of the Corporation, consisting of an escutcheon having a blue chief and vertically extending red and white bars on the base with 5 interlocking rings displayed on the chief;

    (3) any trademark, trade name, sign, symbol, or insignia falsely representing association with, or authorization by, the International Olympic Committee or the Corporation; or

    (4) the words "Olympic", "Olympiad", "Citius Altius Fortius", or any combination or simulation thereof tending to cause confusion, to cause mistake, to deceive, or to falsely suggest a connection with the Corporation or any Olympic activity; shall be subject to suit in a civil action by the Corporation for the remedies provided in the Act of July 5, 1946 (60 Stat. 427; popularly known as the Trademark Act of 1946) (15 U.S.C. 1051 et seq.). However, any person who actually used the emblem in subsection (a)(2) of this section, or the words, or any combination thereof, in subsection (a)(4) of this section for any lawful purpose prior to September 21, 1950, shall not be prohibited by this section from continuing such lawful use for the same purpose and for the same goods or services. In addition, any person who actually used, or whose assignor actually used, any other trademark, trade name, sign, symbol, or insignia described in subsections (a)(3) and (4) of this section for any lawful purpose prior to September 21, 1950 shall not be prohibited by this section from continuing such lawful use for the same purpose and for the same goods or services.

    (b) Contributors and suppliers

    The Corporation may authorize contributors and suppliers of goods or services to use the trade name of the Corporation as well as any trademark, symbol, insignia, or emblem of the International Olympic Committee or of the Corporation in advertising that the contributions, goods, or services were donated, supplied, or furnished to or for the use of, approved, selected, or used by the Corporation or United States Olympic or Pan-American team or team members.

    (c) Exclusive right of Corporation

    The Corporation shall have exclusive right to use the name "United States Olympic Committee"; the symbol described in subsection (a)(1) of this section; the emblem described in subsection (a)(2) of this section; and the words "Olympic", "Olympiad", "Citius Altius Fortius" or any combination thereof subject to the preexisting rights described in subsection (a) of this section.

    Cheers.

  • KattMan (cs) in reply to Chris
    Chris:
    Will my new laptop come with award winning calculator software pre-installed?

    Oh that's good. It should come installed and you should be contractually obligated to keep it installed for one year on the laptop if you win, and it should be the standard replacement for the calculator that comes with the OS.

  • JOHN (unregistered)

    So wait a minute. Joel Spolsky from JoelOnSoftware is a judge?

    Well, I guess if anyone in the world knew how to write WTF code, it would be him...

    I just read his site to see if he still writes WTF stuff.

    Search used to be horrible in Outlook. It was so bad that for all intents and purposes, you couldn't search your old email. Instead, you were encouraged to carefully sort it out into a hierarchy of folders (shudder).

    Yep, still writes WTF stuff.

    Hey Joel, there's a bigass "FIND" button right on the toolbar. Click it, enter what you want, hit enter. DONE. 2,450 emails in my inbox right now, searched in under 10 seconds. Outlook 2003, SP2.

    eesh.

  • Aaron (unregistered)

    I think to sum up a lot of the questions others are asking: does it have to be self-contained? My guess is that entries probably cannot depend on opening HTTP or database connections but it doesn't hurt to make sure.

    Anyway, using web services or screen-scraping would certainly be "WTF-ey", but short of building your own TCP/IP stack for it, it's really not very clever and there are certainly better and faster ways to litter the code with bugs and hacks.

  • Moekandu (unregistered)

    How about a program that crashes the OS and the number of times you have to reboot the system is the correct answer?

    Yes, I am the evil twin.

  • Saladin (cs) in reply to Sarni
    Sarni:
    A GUI is required? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Who the fuck needs a GUI? And then fucking C/C++? I think I'll pass.
    Hi, please join us in the 90s where most users would rather use a GUI than a command line and smart programmers recognize that fact and accomodate it rather than getting an elitist attitude about it.
  • dkf (unregistered) in reply to JOHN
    JOHN:
    2,450 emails in my inbox right now
    Gosh, someone with a small inbox! Quick, send that man some extra 419 spam! (I want mine back below 15k...)
  • fennec (cs)

    I have submitted my submission, entitled "Fast and Deadly". It was originally going to be a copy of the Win32 example source code, but when I clicked that link I got a 404, so I submitted the 404 page with a .zip extension instead.

    I got submission number 10001 (I think that's the right number of 0s anyway) so I'm pretty sure I was first. And I've read stories here about various enterprises which have done worse. So. :)

    ... why yes, I did read the rules. I'm even fairly sure as to which of them apply to make my submission invalid. :)

  • Sigivald (unregistered)

    I'm not going to make an entry, but if I did, it would require the following things:

    A physical four-function calculator.

    A webcam.

    A robotic arm.

    OCR and robotic arm-control software.

    The rest is left as an exercise for the reader.

  • Alun (unregistered)

    Everybody knows that all the best WTFs are in Java or VB. Why on earth was a language specified?

    I'm happy to pollute my mind with my deliberate WTF code, but I'm not going back to the monstrosity that is C++.

  • Tom Ritchford (unregistered)

    Hmm, some snarky people out there. Sorry, I was misled by the Win32 framework described towards the top.

    Regarding dual boot, since I don't have any Intel-like machines at home, I think that'd be a little tricky. (My work machine IS Linux but I'm not going to futz with that for this contest...)

    Onward and upward!

  • djshj (unregistered)

    The obvious solution is to embed an interpreter of your choice.

    Start your submission with #include <Python.h>. The rest is left as an exercise.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I have half a mind to embed Perl.

    And then write beautiful, clear, fully documented Perl code to actually perform the function of the application.

    But the Perl innards will win the contest.

Leave a comment on “The Worse Than Failure Programming Contest”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

« Return to Article