• Dustin (unregistered)

    Just wanted to point out that not all contractors are incompetent. Some certainly are, but not all.

    That is all.

  • Josue (unregistered)

    Sweet!

  • KattMan (cs) in reply to Dustin

    wow, I mean seriously wow.

    The Great Paula Bean strikes again! And yes that is her official title.

  • tharfagreinir (cs)

    Aww - how nice of him not to bill.

  • spamparranoid (unregistered)

    Yeah this gives contractors a bad name

  • LolFactory (unregistered)

    This must be the one of the best WTFs I've ever seen. It's got something for everybody: incompetence, a coverup, crazy comments, but the note took me by complete surprise. Instant classic.

  • erKURITA (unregistered)

    We need to shoot down those people, with toothpicks. They really make business go down the road.

  • wgh (cs)

    What a schmuck. His stupid stream-of-consciousness comments (// hmmmmm!) fill me with rage. But I'm in a bad mood today.

  • jtsampson (unregistered)

    Wow, looked like he even "focked up" his note as well!

  • Stas (unregistered)

    Can someone please type the note? I'm not sure I read it correctly. Is it

    Sorry, I fucked up I won't bill obviously

    ?

    Thanks :)

  • anony coward (unregistered)
  • oh geez (unregistered)

    well atleast he was considerate enough not to bill... although most likely he knew he wouldn't be able to anyways

    captcha: gotcha --- oh how true.

  • GeneWitch (cs)

    people who code, that have 3 comment lines to indicate that they had to fudge something for every line of code annoy me.

    I love to comment my code... But i don't waste space.

  • Ben (unregistered)

    Ha! That is awesome. A company holding a contractor accountable. They are making the world a better place!

  • hwiz (unregistered)

    Wow, pretty surprising that he didn't ask a single question in the process. I mean, it looks like he really had NO CLUE, whatsoever, about what to do! The real WTF is that he actually managed to look like he was doing work all that time. He was probably just looking at pr0n, or reading thedailywtf

  • Ben (unregistered)

    Could be worse. At least he documented his code, so it's maintainable.

  • Unomi (unregistered)

    I don't know. I guess that 'note' will show up on some t-shirt like those from ThinkGeek etc.

    It is classic. Something to remind never to do. Fucking up and saying you won't bill.....

    That is a WTF in itself.

    Captcha: scooter (I don't want to know his name, eeeehw)

    • Unomi -
  • kimbo305 (cs)

    Is there not a contractor black list somewhere in the industry? That man/woman needs to be punished.

  • sigh (unregistered)

    Do Incompetents ever read TDWTF and realize what a pain in the ass they are?

  • rioshin (cs) in reply to kimbo305
    kimbo305:
    Is there not a contractor black list somewhere in the industry? That man/woman needs to be punished.

    And if there isn't, why not? It'd be an awesome service...

    Interviewer: Let's check up on you at www.whatever.com. Interviewee: Uh, oh...

  • Pool's Closed (unregistered)

    Wow, he actually admitted he fucked up? He's not going to go very far as a contractor.

  • tamosius (unregistered)

    "In the end, Mark and two other developers put in a long weekend to finish up all the work that The Incompetent was supposed to do."

    Off-topic WTF: I wonder weather these 2 guys were paid contractor's rate? if not... WTF?!

  • Chris (unregistered) in reply to rioshin
    rioshin:
    kimbo305:
    Is there not a contractor black list somewhere in the industry? That man/woman needs to be punished.

    And if there isn't, why not? It'd be an awesome service...

    Interviewer: Let's check up on you at www.whatever.com. Interviewee: Uh, oh...

    Yeah... since it couldn't be abused very easily.

  • Ron (unregistered) in reply to Stas
    Stas:
    Can someone please type the note? I'm not sure I read it correctly. Is it

    Sorry, I fucked up I won't bill obviously

    ?

    Thanks :)

    I read it as "pooched up", but that's also a stretch. It seems to say "foched" shrug

  • Karl von L. (unregistered)

    OMG, I would love to work at a company where they wrote detailed specs that answered every possible question about the design, and then just handed them to me to implement. Where do I apply?

  • justsalt (unregistered)

    // hmmm!!! // Where can I find a more clueless company that I // can bill for doing nothing.

  • Fudge Packer (unregistered) in reply to Chris

    There's a lot of consulting companies that keep internal blacklists--equivalent to the "eligible for rehire" flag you see going on in some HR offices.

    I've done a lot of consulting, and I gotta say it just comes down right off the bat as to WHY the consultant needs to come on board in the first place.

    If you're overworked, staff is stretched thin and you just tack on resources without really checking up on them and mentoring the resources, well--you get stuff like this.

    A good contractor though would have called them on shoddy documentation, lack of attention, what the architecture is supposed to look like, etc. I've gotten up and left before when the client was just not interested in seeing the consultants have any sort of measurable success.

    However, this guy though takes the cake. Wonder if he was H-1B or somethin'.

  • KattMan (cs) in reply to Karl von L.
    Karl von L.:
    OMG, I would *love* to work at a company where they wrote detailed specs that answered every possible question about the design, and then just handed them to me to implement. Where do I apply?

    //hmmmmmm I don't think they answered "every possible question" just every question The Incompetent could think of, which apparently could not have been many. I'm sure a competent one could have found a few unanswered questions. //Hmmmmmmm

  • suetanvil (cs) in reply to sigh
    Do Incompetents ever read TDWTF and realize what a pain in the ass they are?

    No, never. True incompetents never, ever question their own competence. They read TDWTF and say, "Ha ha, what a goober that guy is," never even entertaining the possibility that they may well be the person being mocked. They believe (or at least, firmly stick to the fiction) that they are supremely competent in what they do.

    The fact that this guy actually admitted to making a mistake means he's less incompetent than the average Paula Bean.

  • Shaun (unregistered)

    Funny story, love the actual physical evidence of this guy but I have one bone to pick. There's nothing wront with asking a lot of questions about process and design when you start up. That's not a sign of a poor developer.

  • Licky Lindsay (cs)

    I hope that if the guy had ever actually written something more substantial, those comments would eventually come out of the code.

    "Here comes some casting?". Sheesh. (Made worse by the fact that I don't see any actual casting, or at least nothing that looks casting does in Java)

    Sometimes I wonder if the people who write those kind of comments use them to translate the inner COBOL of their minds into whatever language the compiler speaks.

    // ADD A TO B GIVING C c = a + b;

  • rmr (cs) in reply to justsalt
    justsalt:
    // hmmm!!! // Where can I find a more clueless company that I // can bill for doing nothing.

    In lala land.

    Seriously, there is something a little "foched" about this whole story. How could someone possibly give "daily status reports" for weeks without the manager realizing that there was little to no progress?

  • akatherder (cs)

    I bet he was typing all the comments just to make it look like he was working. And probably since he thought someone would ask how many lines he has written.

    Do contracts cover this kind of incompetence? What if he did choose to bill them? Could they just decide he was worthless and not pay him, or would there be a legal case?

  • Mikademus (cs)

    Photo of note, check. Note placed on wooden table, false. Thus not a WTF. </irony>

    Seriously though, sounds like a great place to work. Trust, personal freedom, and detailed specifications. Unless they've changed their routines after The Incident.

    PS. Internet Spelling is a contagious disease: after reading enough you're/your/their/there/hear/here etc mistakes one almost becomes habituated enough to gloss over those of one's OWN making... shudders

  • dcardani (cs) in reply to kimbo305
    kimbo305:
    Is there not a contractor black list somewhere in the industry? That man/woman needs to be punished.

    I've worked as a subcontractor for another contracting company that it turned out was corrupt. They were paid by their customer, but told me the customer was witholding payment to them because there were more changes to be made to the product. When pressed about what other changes there were, they kept putting me off claiming they were waiting for the customer to tell them. I called the customer directly and they informed me they had already paid and were about to start shipping the product to their customers. I could easily see the corrupt contracting company adding me to the black list for having gone over their head to the customers. It's exactly the type of thing they would have done. Luckily they're now out of business, though.

    I've gotta admit, it would be funny to see all of Accenture and IBM added to the list, though.

  • The cow says.... (unregistered) in reply to rmr
    rmr:
    justsalt:
    // hmmm!!! // Where can I find a more clueless company that I // can bill for doing nothing.

    In lala land.

    Seriously, there is something a little "foched" about this whole story. How could someone possibly give "daily status reports" for weeks without the manager realizing that there was little to no progress?

    There is this new-fangled trick I heard about: lying. With this "lying"--or "fibbing" as the kids are calling it--someone actually makes statements they know to be false or neglects to include relevant information with the intent of misleading someone. My only fear is that this might catch on if enough people try it.

  • Salami (cs) in reply to Fudge Packer
    Fudge Packer:
    I've done a lot of consulting, and I gotta say it just comes down right off the bat as to WHY the consultant needs to come on board in the first place.

    If you're overworked, staff is stretched thin and you just tack on resources without really checking up on them and mentoring the resources, well--you get stuff like this.

    If you have a small staff of programmers and you overwork them, they will demand help. So, if you are smart, you bring in an incompetent contractor, so your staff no longer asks for help and you only have to pay for one 8 week contract (and not even that in this case).

  • Mogri (unregistered) in reply to The cow says....
    The cow says....:
    rmr:
    justsalt:
    // hmmm!!! // Where can I find a more clueless company that I // can bill for doing nothing.

    In lala land.

    Seriously, there is something a little "foched" about this whole story. How could someone possibly give "daily status reports" for weeks without the manager realizing that there was little to no progress?

    There is this new-fangled trick I heard about: lying. With this "lying"--or "fibbing" as the kids are calling it--someone actually makes statements they know to be false or neglects to include relevant information with the intent of misleading someone. My only fear is that this might catch on if enough people try it.

    All the way back in high school, I was in an independent study CS course that required us to write daily progress logs. I wrote a program that generated my progress reports for me and actually used it a few times.

    The teacher didn't notice.

  • Harry (unregistered)

    Not only was the contractor incompetant, so was the manager. When I was supervising contractors I was set up to get emails every time they committed something in order to take a look at exactly what was going on. I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.

    You can be I'd be on a new guy if weeks went by and there were no commits from him.

  • snoofle (unregistered) in reply to suetanvil
    suetanvil:
    Do Incompetents ever read TDWTF and realize what a pain in the ass they are?

    No, never. True incompetents never, ever question their own competence. They read TDWTF and say, "Ha ha, what a goober that guy is," never even entertaining the possibility that they may well be the person being mocked. They believe (or at least, firmly stick to the fiction) that they are supremely competent in what they do.

    The fact that this guy actually admitted to making a mistake means he's less incompetent than the average Paula Bean.

    I suppose that depends upon how you define incompetence; being unable to perform actual work or being able to make people think you are doing (useful) work.

    Paula (and apparently this consultant) were both good at the latter.

  • sir_flexalot (cs)

    Awesome, I've seen stuff like that before, but never quite that obvious! The real WTF, for all you new here, is that he told them he wouldn't bill. Any real contractor would bill anyhow, and just blame it on something.

    That picture of that note is like seeing back a photo from the surface of Mars. It's the most awesome thing I've ever seen! If anyone owns the actual piece of paper, and would allow me the rights to reprint that in my upcoming book Ship That Pig, let me know!

  • Jon W (unregistered)

    This is heart-warming! He might suck at programming, but at least he has some self-knowledge.

    For more fun in that regard, google "unskilled and unaware of it" for a great psychology report.

  • Jno (unregistered) in reply to tamosius
    tamosius:
    "In the end, Mark and two other developers put in a long weekend to finish up all the work that The Incompetent was supposed to do."

    Off-topic WTF: I wonder weather these 2 guys were paid contractor's rate? if not... WTF?!

    Yeah, 3 people over a long weekend finish up the work that a contractor was hired to accomplish in "a few weeks". The man-hours don't add up...

    Oh, hold on, I see it! Daily status reports. WTF?

  • KattMan (cs) in reply to Jno
    Jno:
    tamosius:
    "In the end, Mark and two other developers put in a long weekend to finish up all the work that The Incompetent was supposed to do."

    Off-topic WTF: I wonder weather these 2 guys were paid contractor's rate? if not... WTF?!

    Yeah, 3 people over a long weekend finish up the work that a contractor was hired to accomplish in "a few weeks". The man-hours don't add up...

    Oh, hold on, I see it! Daily status reports. WTF?

    And I bet you follow the myth of the man-month. it should be well known (though apparently isn't) that adding a person to a project does not truly shorten development time, this company seems to have understood that.

    The contractor would have needed time to come up the speed on the system he was integrating with, the process at the office on how to get to things, etc. Granted some of this was nicely handed to him, but certain things you just have to learn.

    The guys that finished this over a weekend did not have that "ramp up" time. The knew the system well and also the libraries the system uses. They knew exactly where they could re-use already written code.

    So why bring in the contractor to begin with? Well how many of you want to hit crunch time with only a few days to finish something up? If the contractor did his job, it would have saved the team these few days of work at the end. So yes, a few days saved by having a contractor in for a few weeks. If this gets you in under deadline, it is a good thing.

  • Jerim (cs) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    I bet he was typing all the comments just to make it look like he was working. And probably since he thought someone would ask how many lines he has written.

    Do contracts cover this kind of incompetence? What if he did choose to bill them? Could they just decide he was worthless and not pay him, or would there be a legal case?

    Contract labor has become short hand for "temp" work and most contracts are just the standard "we pay you this amount for this length of time." If the contract had actual milestones that needed to be achieved at set intervals, then the contractor is SOL. However, if there is no specific mention of the work to be done and the timeframe to do it in, other than per hour wages and the length of the contract, then they have to pay the contractor. Otherwise, they could always claim that contractor didn't do the work specified, and get free work out of the almost unlimited pool of contractors.

  • steven22 (unregistered)

    People don't checks contractor's references as often as they do regular employees. And they don't spend much time interviewing them. They say "it's just a short contract, no reason to bother with that. Besides, the contracting company wouldn't send us anyone that sucks". Meanwhile, the contracting company is on Monster posting an ad to fill the position.

  • Rick (cs)

    I don't know what the current norm is, but it had been normal for a consulting agency to provide a money back guarantee for an initial 1 to 3 month period.

  • Rafael Larios (unregistered)

    He wouldn't bill.. but i certainly sue, at least for the cost of lost time....

    damn... this kind of stories shouldn't be anonymized.

  • KattMan (cs) in reply to steven22
    steven22:
    People don't checks contractor's references as often as they do regular employees. And they don't spend much time interviewing them. They say "it's just a short contract, no reason to bother with that. Besides, the contracting company wouldn't send us anyone that sucks". Meanwhile, the contracting company is on Monster posting an ad to fill the position.

    You are right about that one. It's all about the bodies. The good ones are nearly always working, the others need to keep jumping around from company to company.

    I have a few I keep on my list, they always keep in touch with me to find out when my next available time is. If I need to just walk off a contract (which happens rarely) they know why because I have it documented and are willing and ready to place me elsewhere. They treat me right so I stay with them, and yes there is always work for the good ones without having to hit Monster all the time.

    On another note: Monster's main office is 3 floors below me and I have to ask, why do they need models working in a phone queue? Oh and their break room looks awesome, pool table, foosball, etc. Hmm, wonder if foosball girl work sthere?

  • Dan (unregistered)

    So, your contractor can't spell. He (obviously) has a hard time with basic grammar. He seems to have a hard time coding. You were able to 'make up for what the contractor didn't do' (which I gather was ... nothing) in a weekend.

    Tell me again who the incompetent person(s) are again?

    I mean, you made a choice and hired this guy. And you want to blame your (potential) failure on him, and your (potential) success on your willingness to martyr yourselves and 'come in for the weekend and do his work for him'.

    Not all contractors are evil and incompetent.

    Not all bosses state the complete truth.

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