• (cs)

    Every time I see shit like this, it makes me more happy that I merely write unmaintainable working code. Mixed blessing, I guess.

  • AdT (unregistered)

    "valitidity" should be a new captcha.

  • Pedant (unregistered) in reply to dcardani
    dcardani:
    I've gotta admit, it would be funny to see all of Accenture and IBM added to the list, though.

    Believe it or not, there are a lot of good people & coders in Accenture & IBM..

  • Craig (unregistered) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    ...how many of you want to hit crunch time with only a few days to finish something up?

    I wish I was given the time I quote for jobs... for me every project hits "crunch time" with either a few hours to spare, or a late evening (non paid overtime).

  • Stas (unregistered) in reply to Fudge Packer
    Fudge Packer:
    However, this guy though takes the cake. Wonder if he was H-1B or somethin'.
    No. A guy on H1-B can't bill directly and therefore can't decide such question on his own. Also, I'm not sure if you know, but if you're on H1-B and you lose work, you have 90 days (I think) to find a new employer or leave the country. So I doubt this kind of idiot was on H1-B - they do not last.

    PS Yeah, I'm on H1-B myself. I'm also working for a consulting company, which means full time employees at client sites see me as a dreaded "contractor/consultant". And I'm sick of morons reading "contractor/consultant" as "over-paid, under-qualified and not-caring-about-shit". This is simply not true. Unlike the full-time folks sitting years and years at the same company I've seen a bunch of different companies and worked with all kinds of people - contractors, full times, temps, overpaid, underpaid, lazy and hard-working, people's persons and assholes, Indian, Russian, Chinese, American, British, Vietnamese, Black, Yellow, Red, Green, citizens, H1-Bs, illegals, green card holders, young, old and middle-aged, male and female - you name it. And from my experience there're bright and hard-working people in every group. Just as well as there're lazy dumb-shits. The latter are just more visible.

  • I second that notion (unregistered) in reply to Karl von L.

    A company that values detailed specs and creates them appropriately? Now that's a company I would love to work for while I was still contracting.

  • (cs) in reply to spamparranoid
    spamparranoid:
    Yeah this gives contractors a bad name
    Do you mean that not billing gives them a bad name?
  • (cs) in reply to Craig
    Craig:
    KattMan:
    ...how many of you want to hit crunch time with only a few days to finish something up?

    I wish I was given the time I quote for jobs... for me every project hits "crunch time" with either a few hours to spare, or a late evening (non paid overtime).

    My point exactly. This company tried to save at least a few days by hiring a guy for a few weeks. Regretfully it failed, but at least they didn't wait till they had a week then add a new developer. They would have missed deadline for sure. This company actually seems to have things working half way decently. They anticipate problems, they plan their development, they hire early enough to make a difference. They failed in only one area but that area negated everything else, they failed to hire the competent one.

  • (cs) in reply to Harry
    Harry:
    When I was supervising contractors I was set up to get emails every time they committed something in order to take a look at exactly what was going on.
    So you're a confessed micromanager...
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    Yeah, I bet you're a real joy to work for...

  • (cs) in reply to GeneWitch
    GeneWitch:
    I love to comment my code... But i don't waste space.
    And lots of meaningless checkins it seems, unless I read it wrong. One of those people that think source code control is for making backups perhaps.

    Not sure how people can miss this though. Most serious source code control systems I've used involve sending off mail to people when code is checked in, or there's a list of recent changes easily viewable by all, etc.

  • (cs) in reply to gwenhwyfaer
    gwenhwyfaer:
    Harry:
    When I was supervising contractors I was set up to get emails every time they committed something in order to take a look at exactly what was going on.
    So you're a confessed micromanager...
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    Yeah, I bet you're a real joy to work for...

    I'll disagree with you on the micro-manager. Perhaps he only does this on short term contractors. That actually seems appropriate.

    I will agree on the Overactive trigger, especially since this isn't really a mistake to move the braces. It is a style issue and ultimately it matters not how they are placed. Granted the developer that went and changed them all suffered from the same problem.

  • (cs) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    I will agree on the Overactive trigger, especially since this isn't really a mistake to move the braces. It is a style issue and ultimately it matters not how they are placed.

    It matters if you're trying to trace version history. Change the bracing style then run 'cvs annotate' and see how much information that destroyed. (Not to mention totally killing any opportunity for the merging algorithm to work its magic if other people were working on it.)

    Overactive trigger, maybe, but that developer should have had a stern talking-to and be put on a shorter leash. Then that change should have been reverted and the developer told to use the same style.

  • jrrs (unregistered)

    Based on what little I saw of the "American Idol" trials: many incompetents do not recognize themselves as such.

  • (cs) in reply to tamosius
    tamosius:
    "In the end, Mark and two other developers put in a long weekend to finish up all the work that The Incompetent was supposed to do."

    Off-topic WTF: I wonder weather these 2 guys were paid contractor's rate? if not... WTF?!

    I wonder whether you know that weather is the phenomenon that happens in the atmosphere (you know, rain, snow, sleet, nice day, clouds, wind).

  • Claude Dupont (unregistered)

    LOOK OUT!! Here comes some casting.

    I love it.

    Reminds me of "Prepare to return."

    Brandon strapped on his seatbelt and braced himself. He was prepared for return ...

    ...

    /* Prepare for return. */ return; }

  • (cs) in reply to rioshin
    rioshin:
    kimbo305:
    Is there not a contractor black list somewhere in the industry? That man/woman needs to be punished.

    And if there isn't, why not? It'd be an awesome service...

    Interviewer: Let's check up on you at www.whatever.com. Interviewee: Uh, oh...

    Since it would be completely illegal. If a prospective employer contacts an old employer of yours for references, all the old employer can say is pretty much "yes, he worked here". If they say anything bad, they are open to lawsuits. So no one says NOTHIN.

  • (cs) in reply to EvanED
    EvanED:
    KattMan:
    I will agree on the Overactive trigger, especially since this isn't really a mistake to move the braces. It is a style issue and ultimately it matters not how they are placed.

    It matters if you're trying to trace version history. Change the bracing style then run 'cvs annotate' and see how much information that destroyed. (Not to mention totally killing any opportunity for the merging algorithm to work its magic if other people were working on it.)

    Overactive trigger, maybe, but that developer should have had a stern talking-to and be put on a shorter leash. Then that change should have been reverted and the developer told to use the same style.

    Did you conveniently remove my last sentence just so you could state that? Like I said, the programmer that did it suffered from the same problem. it is a style and there is no need to change it. They both had knee-jerk reactions.

    This will here-by end my posting to this thread.

  • (cs) in reply to The cow says....
    The cow says....:
    There is this new-fangled trick I heard about: lying. With this "lying"--or "fibbing" as the kids are calling it--someone actually makes statements they know to be false or neglects to include relevant information with the intent of misleading someone. My only fear is that this might catch on if enough people try it.
    Maybe telling the truth needs to catch on...

    Having been a graduate student I knew how annoying it was to be grading exams and running across long complicated answers to questions when it was clear the student didn't know what they were talking about. So when I was taking a particular exame and ran across a question I hadn't studied for, I answered "I don't know, and I'm not going to waste your time by making something up." When I got the test back, the prof had written "thanks" and given me partial credit for the answer.

  • ElQuberto (unregistered) in reply to Harry
    Harry:
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.

    I once fired a guy for looking at a man page. He's supposed to know what's going on. NO EXCUSES

  • facetious (unregistered) in reply to Jerim
    Jerim:
    Contract labor has become short hand for "temp" work and ..

    This amuses me. "Contract labor" is shorthand for ""temp" work".

  • ContractorInLivingHell (unregistered)

    Wow, and he had a spec and everything!! What I'd give for an actual, real, true-to-life spec to work from!!

  • (cs) in reply to KattMan
    unklegwar:
    Since it would be completely illegal. If a prospective employer contacts an old employer of yours for references, all the old employer can say is pretty much "yes, he worked here". If they say anything bad, they are open to lawsuits. So no one says NOTHIN.

    You're confusing "completely illegal" and "don't want to spend $$$ defending from meritless suits." At least in the US, you can say almost anything that's true. If the contractor was incompetent, you can say that. Now, the contractor might sue you because we need some sort of tort reform that makes it easier for defendants to recover costs from meritless suits, but if you can demonstrate that what you said is true (or a matter of opinion) and you have a fair jury, you'll win that suit. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation.

    KattMan:
    EvanED:
    KattMan:
    I will agree on the Overactive trigger, especially since this isn't really a mistake to move the braces. It is a style issue and ultimately it matters not how they are placed.

    It matters if you're trying to trace version history. Change the bracing style then run 'cvs annotate' and see how much information that destroyed. (Not to mention totally killing any opportunity for the merging algorithm to work its magic if other people were working on it.)

    Overactive trigger, maybe, but that developer should have had a stern talking-to and be put on a shorter leash. Then that change should have been reverted and the developer told to use the same style.

    Did you conveniently remove my last sentence just so you could state that? Like I said, the programmer that did it suffered from the same problem. it is a style and there is no need to change it. They both had knee-jerk reactions.

    But not just "there's no need"; it's actually harmful.

    (And no, I didn't end the quote early just to say that; I ended it early because the last sentence wasn't really relevant to the fact that changing brace style is more than just a knee-jerk meaningless action.)

  • (cs) in reply to The cow says....
    The cow says....:
    rmr:
    justsalt:
    // hmmm!!! // Where can I find a more clueless company that I // can bill for doing nothing.

    In lala land.

    Seriously, there is something a little "foched" about this whole story. How could someone possibly give "daily status reports" for weeks without the manager realizing that there was little to no progress?

    There is this new-fangled trick I heard about: lying. With this "lying"--or "fibbing" as the kids are calling it--someone actually makes statements they know to be false or neglects to include relevant information with the intent of misleading someone. My only fear is that this might catch on if enough people try it.

    Cute.

    My point, which you seem to have missed, is that perhaps the point of having a status report should be to elicit the status of the project! I simply find it hard to believe that the contractor would be able to bullshit his way through weeks of daily status meetings if his management was even halfway competent.

  • DH (unregistered)

    Lol. It's good to see this one make it into WTF :-)

    Heard about this one a little while ago: http://digitalhell.wordpress.com/2006/12/16/problems-with-dumbass-contractors/

    Not all contractors are this bad, but there's a hell of a lot of them out there who don't know what they're doing, and give the rest of us a bad name.

  • Ibn al-Hazardous (unregistered) in reply to unklegwar
    unklegwar:
    Since it would be completely illegal. If a prospective employer contacts an old employer of yours for references, all the old employer can say is pretty much "yes, he worked here". If they say anything bad, they are open to lawsuits. So no one says NOTHIN.

    Man, I'm happy I'm not in the US. At least around here we put references on CVs/applications in_order for the prospective employer to check them up. If you don't want to be checked up - don't volunteer the information. But then you won't get hired either, at least in Sweden. And of course you use people you are proud to have worked with/for as references, but if they only say nice stuff - the employer knows the person is talking as a buddy, and not as a pro.

    It's "buyer beware" for the employer and the employee all the way, and the courts would laugh - and the kick any suit of that kind out.

  • DM (unregistered)

    I agree with everyone....an instant classic. The only thing that would've been better is if he made a comment that he really didn't know what he was doing.

    CAPTCHA: muhahaha --- Exactly what he thought at the beginning of the contract.

  • (cs)

    Faking the status reports would be exceedingly easy based on the detailed instructions they gave him up front.

    1. Write a method for GetWidgeting.
    2. Parse ID and username from web service.
    3. Write a profane resignation letter.

    The meeting rolls around...

    "Well I finished up the GetWidgeting method. We're passing the data in and successfully getting widgets like nobody's business. I started interfacing with the webservice to pull out the ID's and usernames. I'm just trying to figure out if I should store them back on XML or just... BLAH BLAH BLAH."

  • (cs) in reply to Ibn al-Hazardous
    Ibn al-Hazardous:
    Man, I'm happy I'm not in the US. At least around here we put references on CVs/applications _in_order_ for the prospective employer to check them up. If you don't want to be checked up - don't volunteer the information. But then you won't get hired either, at least in Sweden. And of course you use people you are proud to have worked with/for as references, but if they only say nice stuff - the employer knows the person is talking as a buddy, and not as a pro.

    It's "buyer beware" for the employer and the employee all the way, and the courts would laugh - and the kick any suit of that kind out.

    A cynical person would suggest that you could badmouth the good contractors so they are more likely to be available when you need their assistance down the road.

  • Tim (unregistered) in reply to Jerim
    Jerim:

    Contract labor has become short hand for "temp" work and most contracts are just the standard "we pay you this amount for this length of time." If the contract had actual milestones that needed to be achieved at set intervals, then the contractor is SOL. However, if there is no specific mention of the work to be done and the timeframe to do it in, other than per hour wages and the length of the contract, then they have to pay the contractor. Otherwise, they could always claim that contractor didn't do the work specified, and get free work out of the almost unlimited pool of contractors.

    The thing is that in California, at least, it's not legal to pay a contractor in such a manner. If you give a contractor a project, allow him to work independently, and give a deadline and milestones, they are legally a contractor. If you give them a length of contract and hourly wage, with no other direction, and they're not already employed, they're classified as an employee, and must get all of the other perks (overtime) and detriments (payroll taxes) as any other employee.

  • htg (unregistered) in reply to sir_flexalot
    sir_flexalot:
    That picture of that note is like seeing back a photo from the surface of Mars. It's the most awesome thing I've ever seen! If anyone owns the actual piece of paper, and would allow me the rights to reprint that in my upcoming book Ship That Pig, let me know!

    Sadly the picture will be a 're-enactment' I'm sure.

    As a kinda-manager I will always look at the code generated by new employees to see what they're up to... more fool you if you don't.

    Good luck with the book!

    -- My captcha was an awesome shoot-em-up in the 80s for the C64. What is it?

  • rohcQaH (unregistered)

    THAT explains what happened during my last interview. The employer asked me to write 'Sorry, I fucked up' on a piece of paper, then proceeded to compare my writings to something..

  • rgz (unregistered) in reply to KattMan

    No, it is "The Brillant Paula Bean" --brillant--

    captcha: 'pirates'. Hmm... real ones or made up by the MAFIAA ones?

  • J Mac (unregistered) in reply to gwenhwyfaer
    gwenhwyfaer:
    Harry:
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    I read that as "This guy needed to submit changes to CVS every $INTERVAL to prove that he was working. He, thinking I wouldn't check what he submitted, changed the brace style instead of actually working."

    I'd fire someone for that too.

  • Cobb Webb (unregistered)

    Hand written note is nothing. It would have been a WTF moment if he had left his business card with the same text.

  • css (unregistered) in reply to rmr

    Well, I know a guy who did that for 2 years more or less! He managed to make the bosses think he was a technical reference then was "leading" the technical aspect of the projects. He was stating reports commited by other people but always took the credit. In a medium or big company, it's hard to show the proof that you did something personnaly. In fact couples of people in the production new it...but just mentionning that makes you look like you're "jealous" (which just gives more credit to the incompetent). And some were told by him not to tell a word, otherwise "Bye bye your salary raise for this year..." So, nobody says nothing until someone of the production become a boss. Only then he got fired.

    Looking at his code, we could see he was going on the internet to grab code from other developers and did not event thought of changing the lines of a chess game for the actual project he was working on!!!!

    Some people are just incompetent...but so good at manipulating everyone.

  • mikeN (unregistered) in reply to GeneWitch

    Yeah, me too. It's like they are constantly saying, 'You know, I would have written better code, but you know how it is, the tools, the language, the other programmers, no coffee today, blah, blah, blah'

  • aaron (unregistered) in reply to ElQuberto
    ElQuberto:
    Harry:
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.

    I once fired a guy for looking at a man page. He's supposed to know what's going on. NO EXCUSES

    I once fired a man in Reno, just because he lied.

    http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reno_rhymes.png

  • ayende rahien (unregistered) in reply to akatherder
    akatherder:
    Ibn al-Hazardous:
    Man, It's "buyer beware" for the employer and the employee all the way, and the courts would laugh - and the kick any suit of that kind out.

    A cynical person would suggest that you could badmouth the good contractors so they are more likely to be available when you need their assistance down the road.

    Obviously you have never been involved in trying to hire good people. They are so rare that most companies would jump through multiply hoops for them. If a good contractor hears that a company bad-mouthed him, all he has to do is refuse work there anymore, I assure you that the will feel the pain. Not to mention that it is a really bad way to do business. Nothing promotes malcontentness like backstabbing employers.

  • nobody (unregistered) in reply to css
    css:
    Looking at his Some people are just incompetent...but so good at manipulating everyone.

    And they often become politicians.

    Captcha: darwin - in some fields, it seems to be survival of the least fit

  • (cs) in reply to jrrs
    jrrs:
    Based on what little I saw of the "American Idol" trials: many incompetents do not recognize themselves as such.
    Most of those people suffer from some degree of tone-deafness. In certain cases listening to an audio recording of your own singing might reveal the problem.
  • ayende rahien (unregistered) in reply to J Mac
    J Mac:
    gwenhwyfaer:
    Harry:
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    I read that as "This guy needed to submit changes to CVS every $INTERVAL to prove that he was working. He, thinking I wouldn't check what he submitted, changed the brace style instead of actually working."

    I'd fire someone for that too.

    There are times that I am doing five - six checkins in an hour, or go without the whole day. Sometimes I might over a day without checking stuff, if this is a big change (if it is bigger than that, I branch). I requires that everyone in the team would checkin once a day or so to avoid accidental conflicts, but that is not because I need to check on them (although I do use the checkin mail for code review).

    Requiring that I would check something at $inverval is stupid. It is very easy to burn hours tracking and fixing a problem, especially with new / complex technologies. Equating checkins to work is just as bad as measuring lines of code per day for productivity.

  • Zonkers (unregistered) in reply to Harry
    Harry:
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.

    Wow. You fired someone over a single check-in! That's pretty crazy. You must be scary to work for.

  • Rob (unregistered)

    Now why is it that contractors are paid more then salary employees? (And don't give me that stock option crap)

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to gwenhwyfaer
    gwenhwyfaer:
    Harry:
    When I was supervising contractors I was set up to get emails every time they committed something in order to take a look at exactly what was going on.
    So you're a confessed micromanager...
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    Yeah, I bet you're a real joy to work for...

    So, maybe firing the guy was over the top if it was the first time, but you can't really allow people to touch every damn file for something as petty as brace preference. Did he even talk to the other developers?

  • Mr Seen those Guys (unregistered)

    SIMON! Was that you!

  • Phil E Stein (unregistered) in reply to Jon W
    Jon W:
    This is heart-warming! He might suck at programming, but at least he has some self-knowledge.

    For more fun in that regard, google "unskilled and unaware of it" for a great psychology report.

    If its the report I got, its a WTF in itself. They studied competence in humour, comparing against a panel of "professional comedians". This is about the worst thing you could possibly study scientifically. There is very little agreement about what is funny, there are some very successful comedians who I think are incompetent, and conversely some of the ones I think are competent are not very successful professionally.

  • Harry (unregistered) in reply to gwenhwyfaer
    gwenhwyfaer:
    Harry:
    When I was supervising contractors I was set up to get emails every time they committed something in order to take a look at exactly what was going on.
    So you're a confessed micromanager...
    I fired one guy because he changed the brace style on an entire project and then committed the change.
    ...with an overactive trigger finger and a "zero-tolerance" approach to mistakes.

    Yeah, I bet you're a real joy to work for...

    Actually I think I am a pretty laid back guy, however there are some things that you have to do to protect your code base. Changing the brace style on an entire project and then committing the result isn't just a normal mistake - it is an utter disregard for company standards, plus all of the other people you are working with who are accustomed to a particular style. Plus it destroys the ability of code analysis tools to produce usable change summaries and can make the project history in your VCS almost worthless. It is why many open source projects do not accept changes that are mere code reformats. If you think that is just a simple mistake, think again.

  • Ron (unregistered)

    Something just occurred to me -- I'm sitting here laughing at a contractor, then I realized that, technically, I'm a contractor right now. CRAP!

  • (cs) in reply to Rob
    Rob:
    Now why is it that contractors are paid more then salary employees? (And don't give me that stock option crap)

    Actually it's that whole "no paid sick leave, no paid vacation, and no health insurance crap."

  • (cs) in reply to Ron
    Ron:
    Something just occurred to me -- I'm sitting here laughing at a contractor, then I realized that, technically, I'm a contractor right now. CRAP!

    Yeah. I'll be starting a new job soon, but I'll be paid hourly , and will not be a direct employee of the company for which I'm working. That makes me a contractor too. Be easy on folks like us - we're not all stupid.

    Bonus points to the incompetent contractor in the story for not billing his time. Bonus funny points for misspelling an expletive in his apology.

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