• Matt Moriarity (unregistered)

    I'm pretty sure the culprit is microsoft, for building the unstable operating system we all love to hate.

  • Trev (unregistered)

    Huh.  I don't think I've experienced 2,000,000 of just about anything.

  • (cs) in reply to Matt Moriarity

    Where I get my hair cut there is a book titled 'Counteracting Environmental Poisons or something like that.  It has a lot of interesting tips in it like how to attach magnets to the power line into your house to protect you from the magentic waves.

    The best part is about how the Soviets developed a 'Reversed EMF' wave that they are directing at the United States and how this presents a heath risk.  In order to protect your self from this you need to do the following:

    Get 2 tinfoil pie tins (earlier in the book it says to avoid touching aluminum at all costs so I assume you should wear gloves for this step).

    Fill one pie tin with kosher sea salt.  Attach this pie tin to the ceiling in the middle of your home.

    Take the other pie tin and fill it will salt (or something can't remember exactly)  Hang this pie tin from the north corner of your home on the outside.  I'm not sure how you keep the salt in.  I guess you seal it up somehow.

    This will protect you from the Soviet wave beam.

    I love that book.  I read it everytime I go.  It cracks me up when Imagine someone following all the advice in it.

  • Colin McGuigan (unregistered)

    It seems that I could fix all of his errors simply by uninstalling 2xExplorer.  Hell, I'd do it for only $50,000.  Hey, what the heck: $30,000.

  • (cs)

    LOL! [;)]

  • (cs)

    Might help if he got off of Win 98.

  • Matt B (unregistered)

    There project request websites sound amazing, where could I find one?

  • f00sh (unregistered)

    Are you serious?!?  Wow. Just Wow.  I can't even attempt to comprehend.

     

    ..  wow.  anyone care to elaborate?

  • Andy (unregistered)

    Brilliant! Now when QA claims they've found bugs in my code, I'll just blame those "highly fanatical, criminally psychopathic entities"

    Bugs? Can't be bugs, gotta be those fanatical psychopaths again....

    -Andy

  • Anonymous Coward (unregistered) in reply to dubwai


    This will protect you from the Soviet wave beam.

    Heh... reminds me of this: http://www.alexchiu.com

  • (cs)

    I remember back a few years ago when the bosses were all buzzing about RAD, rapid application development. But that wasn't enough, next cam FAD, frantic application development. Now what we have here is just...well...SAD, schizophrenic application development.

  • (cs)

    He's lost his damn mind. Maybe he lived under powerlines as a child, or ate some paint chips from time to time.

    There's no way this could be from a crappy old OS, hard drive errors that are bound to crop up in a 7 year old machine (judging by his OS choice), and a few viruses sprinkled on top for good measure. But he has enough time to make almost 70 screenshots and write up the best one-sentence description of the problem I've ever seen, so we should give him credit for that. I say we get a pool together to buy him a girl, if for just one night.

  • (cs)

    After reviewing this individual's exhaustive list of crash dialogs I'm inclined to believe if he removed all of the crap software from his machine, especially this... 2xExplorer (WTF is that?!) He'd probably have a much better chance at a stable machine.

    I will say it is slightly worrying that he's getting crosslinked files, that only happened once with me, turned out to be a lightly toasted disk controller, which worked for the most part, but would occasionally hiccup. Of coruse, with bad shell software, I suppose anything is possible.


  • (cs)

    Oh yeah and as for his problems, they're pretty easily dismissed:

    Exhibit A: Did that version of Windows have a problem with using a filename that puts a space before the file extension? Was there even a floppy disk in the drive? Looks like an old version of MS Word, so I have no idea how it reacted back then.

    Exhibit B: Hard drive errors. Or maybe a virus. Quit downloading the donkey porn and you should be OK.

    Exhibit C: The Chinese characters are just weird, I don't know how they got there. Maybe they aren't showing up in the next window because of Unicode problems. If the folder list on the left can handle Unicode and the next list can't, then it might not display the name. I've had this problem before with various programming controls not able to display Unicode. The same goes for the popup menu-no Unicode support means funky characters like pipes and junk.

    Exhibit D: What features were "hacked away"? That "Register" tab makes it look like you're trying to use trial software past the expiration date. Are you so surprised that they would disable features like this?

    Moron.

  • (cs) in reply to dubwai
    dubwai:

    Fill one pie tin with kosher sea salt.  Attach this pie tin to the ceiling in the middle of your home.

      Great horny-toads!  I've ben using regular sea salt   I'm off to the deli, pronto.

  • (cs) in reply to Mike R

    Mike R:
    After reviewing this individual's exhaustive list of crash dialogs I'm inclined to believe if he removed all of the crap software from his machine, especially this... 2xExplorer (WTF is that?!) He'd probably have a much better chance at a stable machine.

    Actually, 2xExplorer is a very good 2-pane file manager.

    http://netez.com/2xExplorer/

    It's been around and stable for a long time.

  • (cs) in reply to rogthefrog

    I have a hunch that most of these problems would go away if he stops unplugging the computer without shutting it down.

  • (cs)

    Whiskey... Tango... Foxtrot... ???!

        dZ.

  • (cs) in reply to loneprogrammer

    Just for fun, I downloaded the zip file. The majority of the images there are from "Norton Crashguard", which is complete junk.  At best, it is a debugging tool, but this guy has no experience with programming and couldn't tell the difference between a register dump and a stack trace.  For most people, this product doesn't do anything but display confusing error messages that they don't understand.

    My favorite "evidence" of "hacking" reads as follows:

    Could not connect to remote server
    http://www.rentacoder.com/

    If anybody places a bid on this project, they would be taking advantage of an individual who is too ignorant to know he is wasting his money.

  • Scott McKellar (unregistered)

    A program very much like what he's asking for is already available, and it's already free.  It's called Linux.

  • (cs) in reply to loneprogrammer

    loneprogrammer:
    The majority of the images there are from "Norton Crashguard", which is complete junk.

    My system was running slow at one point years ago (now I know it's from installing Windows), so I installed Norton SystemWorks to help speed it up. My computer actually got slower from having to deal with additional software constantly running. When will people learn about the simple command-line tool that vastly increases your performance:

    format c: /q

  • wallcandy (unregistered) in reply to Manni

    "or ate some paint chips from time to time"

    mmm.... wallcandy...

  • (cs) in reply to Manni
    Manni:


    My system was running slow at one point years ago (now I know it's from installing Windows), so I installed Norton SystemWorks to help speed it up...



    Uh, you installed Norton-y stuff to speed it up?
  • (cs) in reply to rsynnott

    rsynnott:
    Uh, you installed Norton-y stuff to speed it up?

    C'mon gimme a break, it was about 7 years ago back when I looked forward to the AOL guy telling me I had mail. I've since learned the error of my ways. At least I didn't actually *pay* for the Norton Systemworks.

  • I hate names (unregistered) in reply to rogthefrog

    No no no... Directory Opus from www.gpsoft.com.

    Everyone who ever had an Amiga knows how it is...

  • (cs)

    Not only did I say WTF? I said WintHFFoWTF? (What in the holy f'ety f's of WTF's?). I'm torn between the following thoughts:

    1.) Let's assume the person that posted this on the job portal isn't just trolling for idiots...If it is real, we as a species are so screwed. This guy alone is bringing the collective IQ of the species down by a good 30 to 40 points.

    2.) There were 3 proposals submitted...I would love to see them, but at the same time. I wonder if anybody submitted a real proposal, or simply submitted virtual bitch slaps to the author.

    3.) I wonder if my Mac and Linux boxes would be affected by this.

    4.) <sarcasm>2,000,000 instances. That number seems low... </sarcasm>

  • (cs) in reply to strongarm

    2 Million...  Thats a big number.

    Once a minute for about 4 years...

    I would love to see his computer reboot once a minute.

  • (cs) in reply to strongarm
    strongarm:

    3.) I wonder if my Mac and Linux boxes would be affected by this. <sarcasm> </sarcasm>



    Not the Mac, if it's a PowerBook. Nice tinfoil-like casing ;)

  • (cs) in reply to rsynnott
    rsynnott:
    strongarm:

    3.) I wonder if my Mac and Linux boxes would be affected by this. <sarcasm> </sarcasm>



    Not the Mac, if it's a PowerBook. Nice tinfoil-like casing ;)

    Good point...it's one of the 50 pound aluminum boat anchor/cheese graters, so it should be safe.

  • (cs) in reply to I hate names

    Anonymous:
    No no no... Directory Opus from www.gpsoft.com.

    Everyone who ever had an Amiga knows how it is...

     

    I use Dir Opus for almost everything on my Amiga. It was a hell of a lot more managable than the Workbench windows. I loved the way you could create loads of custom buttons in it though, that was so very cool and handy.

    Drak

  • Thomas Magle Brodersen (unregistered)

    Hanlon's Razor:
    Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

  • vhawk (unregistered)

    This is what happens if you don't get enough sex ....

  • (cs) in reply to vhawk

    Anonymous:
    This is what happens if you don't get enough sex ....

    Hear hear! [:D]

  • Brazzy (unregistered)

    The guy should have spent more time on market research - such a program already exists, and has been around for a long time:
    MindGuard

  • (cs) in reply to loneprogrammer
    loneprogrammer:
    Just for fun, I downloaded the zip file. The majority of the images there are from "Norton Crashguard", which is complete junk.  At best, it is a debugging tool, but this guy has no experience with programming and couldn't tell the difference between a register dump and a stack trace.  For most people, this product doesn't do anything but display confusing error messages that they don't understand.


    Crashguard could be seen as a debugging hinderance. I'd much rather have visual studio or windbg come up :)
  • bluGill (unregistered) in reply to Scott McKellar
    A program very much like what he's asking for is already available, and it's already free.  It's called Linux.

    Almost.   You forgot the terminal server though. The linux machine goes in my basement.  He gets a dumb X server that can be turned off and on to his heart's content.   I'll install the apps he needs.  (He only gets write access to /home/id10t, which is mounted -noexec

    Actually considering this guy, I think OpenBSD is better than linux.  OpenBSD is run by people just as paranoid.  OpenBSD however is run be intelligent, sane, paranoids, while this guy is only the last.  He should get along just fine with them.  (They however are unlikely to get alone with him)
  • Dave (unregistered)

    C'mon, folks, this has gotta be a hoax/joke.

    But it's still damn funny.

  • (cs) in reply to Otac0n
    Otac0n:

    2 Million...  Thats a big number.

    Once a minute for about 4 years...

    I would love to see his computer reboot once a minute.

    It does show his resolve. I think I would have given up on the whole "using a computer" thing after only the first million reboots.

  • Forgottenlord (unregistered) in reply to Otac0n
    Otac0n:

    2 Million...  Thats a big number.

    Once a minute for about 4 years...

    I would love to see his computer reboot once a minute.

     

     * Anonymous guesses that's the tipoff that this is all just a big joke....

  • (cs)
    have discovered that highly fanatical, criminally psychopathic entities have developed techniques for computer hacking with modulated radio, ultra-long wave radio, carrier, and piezoelectric sonics. This hacking has caused file corruption, deletion, privacy invasion, program crashes, hangs, freezes, and automatic restarts of computers at several sites using various


    After re-reading this description again, this guy is a certified nutjob.

    "piezoelectric" sonics. I.e. that small buzzer in your computer, or headphones, or the sounding element in your cellphone, or other small audible electronics, as well as some small cheap microphones. All of wich either convert or output piezoelectric sonics. *BEEP* Crap, my computer just crashed again.


  • (cs) in reply to Otac0n
    Otac0n:

    2 Million...  Thats a big number.

    Once a minute for about 4 years...

    I would love to see his computer reboot once a minute.

    Call the fire department if that is the case.  Your motherboard and power supply would burst into flames if you reboot once a minute!! [:P]

  • (cs) in reply to Mike R
    Mike R:
    have discovered that highly fanatical, criminally psychopathic entities have developed techniques for computer hacking with modulated radio, ultra-long wave radio, carrier, and piezoelectric sonics. This hacking has caused file corruption, deletion, privacy invasion, program crashes, hangs, freezes, and automatic restarts of computers at several sites using various


    After re-reading this description again, this guy is a certified nutjob.

    "piezoelectric" sonics. I.e. that small buzzer in your computer, or headphones, or the sounding element in your cellphone, or other small audible electronics, as well as some small cheap microphones. All of wich either convert or output piezoelectric sonics. *BEEP* Crap, my computer just crashed again.




    Piezo is also used in multi-kilowatt sonar projectors (the machine that goes "ping", if you will). In the mind of a paranoid, a little bit of knowledge (say a Popular Science article) in one area can spread into Universal Truth in all areas....
  • (cs) in reply to cm5400
    cm5400:
    Otac0n:

    2 Million...  Thats a big number.

    Once a minute for about 4 years...

    I would love to see his computer reboot once a minute.

    Call the fire department if that is the case.  Your motherboard and power supply would burst into flames if you reboot once a minute!! [:P]



    On that note... (see the end of #7 for the relevant bit)
  • (cs) in reply to Dave
    Anonymous:
    C'mon, folks, this has gotta be a hoax/joke.

    But it's still damn funny.



    You wish. I know several people who could posted something like this in all sincerity.
  • highly fanatical, criminally psychopathic entity (unregistered)

    with our new 2.73 upgrade of old Soviet wave gun online no tinfoil hats will save you now [8o|] 

     

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