The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Wow just wow and frist!

Gotta love the many wtfs we see from campuses ...

Alargule · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

The body builder grabbed for the new network card, but Hanzo pushed him aside...

Wow...I'd love to see the looks of this Hanzo guy...

Dogsworth · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

I like how he snapped a flimsy network card and intimidated some scrawny nerds. What did he do after that? Beat up some first graders?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

I was sort of hoping that they'd work out where this was supposed to have happened before the second article, though.

It would also have been nice to find out how well the network worked afterwards. Maybe the old network card actually was the problem.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Neither Dresden nor Berlin are in Hesse, and you can't fire people like that in Germany, much less if they're university employees. Also I've never met anyone by the name of Hanz.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Well, before y'all get carried away with "Hanzo this" and "Hanzo that". It's Hans, as correctly noted in the first sentence. You'd at least expect Erik to be able to copy & paste correctly, if spelling and setting correct style to section titles is too big of a challenge :)

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Yep, the WTF is that literally nothing crosses institution boundaries, let alone federal states. And I bet same holds for DFG, Leibnitz etc.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Hesse University’s Dresden campus

TRWTF, because Dresden is not part of Hesse but Saxony ;)

pjt33 · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

English may not have much gender agreement between adjectives and nouns, but with some loanwords it does. A blonde body-builder is female. Given the later use of "he", the correct description would be a blond body-builder.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

I call bullshit. There's no way a new network adapter would have picked up the routing configuration from the old one after installing it. So there's no way the old box booted up and everything magically started working.

no laughing matter · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Blond body-builder guy from Berlin?

Must be Techno-Viking!

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

I read the body-builder's lines in Ahnold's voice.

Have you ever tried to snap a network card in half? It's harder than it looks, and leaves you with an unpleasant souvenir -- little shards of fiberglass in your hands which will remind you of their presence for a week or so.

TDWTF123 · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

I call shenanigans. I mean, it's not just me who'd call the police on the nutcase physically intimidating people, threatening assault, and gratuitously smashing up equipment, is it?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Yeah, that didn't happen

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

TRWTF is they were using Windows, right?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

TLDNR

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

So, a college in Hessen supposedly has a campus in Saxony but Central IT is located in Berlin. That's three different states.

Germany is a federal state just like the US of A, education is in the responsibility of the individual states, so this part of the "Hanzo"-stories is very badly researched.

I mean, would you write a story in which Princeton or the MIT operates an Albuquerque campus with Central IT for both situated in Washington DC?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

"The old gateway booted to Windows without a hitch"

here, that's your problem

ratchet freak · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

faoileag:
So, a college in Hessen supposedly has a campus in Saxony but Central IT is located in Berlin. That's three different states.
Germany is a federal state just like the US of A, education is in the responsibility of the individual states, so this part of the "Hanzo"-stories is very badly researched.

I mean, would you write a story in which Princeton or the MIT operates an Albuquerque campus with Central IT for both situated in Washington DC?

or it is really well anonymised

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Why do we have a repeat of last Tuesday's article under a different name?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

The rest of the story doesn't really sound credible as well:

Not even a government agency would send three (3!) people from Berlin to Dresden to update a network gateway.
Very few techies would take out the network card from the old server and break it. Especially not if it is government property.
Most techies would boot the replacement server prior to setting out from Berlin, to see if it comes up.
How on earth did the Dean find out the lead techies mobile phone number so fast? I mean, we are talking an agreed downtime of five minutes here, and only after that would the Dean try to get the techie on the phone.
As stated before, in Germany you can't really fire people that easily. But even if you could: it wouldn't be the Dean who could do so, but only Central IT. Ok, perhaps the Dean is the daughter of the president of Central IT.
23 Minutes to get from the server room to the car park, drive to the nearest shop with network cards on sale, buy one, drive back and get into the server room? Come on, please!
Most people in Hans shoes would just have shrugged their shoulders and told the blond guy: "your problem". Will Hans receive any cudos for saving the blond guy's behind? No. Will he be reimbursed for his expenses? Hey, this is a college. You so don't go to the secretary with your receipt and she opens the cashier.

Well. Second Hanzo story. Will there be a third? Perhaps with a fourth state involved ("The Bavarian police arrived on the scene...")? Then again, perhaps it will evolve into a running gag. Now that might be fun :-)

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

ratchet freak:
or it is really well anonymised

Oh come on: to anonymize a college, you just have to change its name. What college do I refer to if I speak of "MacMillan College, Oxford"?

In Germany... what about Hammelburg University?

Raedwald · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Book of Five Rings

Also, sword fighting is life. Not a philosophy to argue with.

Needs more katanas.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

H2:
Hesse University’s Dresden campus

TRWTF, because Dresden is not part of Hesse but Saxony ;)

The institution was likely fictionalized to protect the innocent. The name could be a reference to Hermann Hesse, a famous author.

pscs · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Mr. Catbert:
Why do we have a repeat of last Tuesday's article under a different name?

Last week the gateway was accidentally unplugged by an AC repair man.

This week, it was reprieved from a journey to the skip

What will happen in next week's installment.

mikeTheLiar · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

What, no buttcrack today?

Filed under: where is buttcrack?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

PS:
H2:
Hesse University’s Dresden campus

TRWTF, because Dresden is not part of Hesse but Saxony ;)

The institution was likely fictionalized to protect the innocent. The name could be a reference to Hermann Hesse, a famous author.

This, like so many stories, seems to have had everything fictionalized, including anything which makes it a WTF.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

pjt33:
English may not have much gender agreement between adjectives and nouns, but with some loanwords it does. A blonde body-builder is female. Given the later use of "he", the correct description would be a blond body-builder.

Except that this one was clearly a bit of a girl, allowing Hanzo to just toss him aside like Khan did with Captain Kirk.

Love this tale.

georgir · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

faoileag:
Well. Second Hanzo story. Will there be a third?

Sorry, next one is about Kotaro Fuuma.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

function internetWorks(){
  if(old_gateway)
    internet_works = true;
  else if (new_gateway)
    internet_works = false;
  else
    internet_works = NETWORKCARD_NOT_FOUND;
}

Coyne · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Nick:
I call bullshit. There's no way a new network adapter would have picked up the routing configuration from the old one after installing it. So there's no way the old box booted up and everything magically started working.

Ah, but you live in the days of smart network cards. This was obviously one of the dumb ones, that was told what to do by [shudder] Windows...

faoileag:
The rest of the story doesn't really sound credible as well:

Not even a government agency would send three (3!) people from Berlin to Dresden to update a network gateway.

One word: Union.

faoileag:
2) Very few techies would take out the network card from the old server and break it. Especially not if it is government property.

It was already fractured; he just separated it.

faoileag:
3) Most techies would boot the replacement server prior to setting out from Berlin, to see if it comes up.

Now why do that when it is so exciting to have it fail to boot at the site? Besides, it worked before it was shoved on the shelf. (Unless it was shoved on the shelf because it didn't work.)

Read the "Six Stages of Field Service Support" with special attention to the level of quality of warehoused parts.

faoileag:
4) How on earth did the Dean find out the lead techies mobile phone number so fast? I mean, we are talking an agreed downtime of five minutes here, and only after that would the Dean try to get the techie on the phone.

Ahh. I withdraw "union" above. The lead techie is a nephew of the dean...

faoileag:
5) As stated before, in Germany you can't really fire people that easily. But even if you could: it wouldn't be the Dean who could do so, but only Central IT. Ok, perhaps the Dean is the daughter of the president of Central IT.

Nephews (and union) are immune.

faoileag:
6) 23 Minutes to get from the server room to the car park, drive to the nearest shop with network cards on sale, buy one, drive back and get into the server room? Come on, please!

Well, I am reminded of this shaggy dog story. It involved a guy in Africa who was being chased by a rhino, and it was all grassland, no trees. And he ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and finally he climbed the tree and was safe.

His listener objected, "I thought you said there were no trees?"

"By G__! There had to be a tree!"

faoileag:
7) Most people in Hans shoes would just have shrugged their shoulders and told the blond guy: "your problem". Will Hans receive any cudos for saving the blond guy's behind? No. Will he be reimbursed for his expenses? Hey, this is a college. You so don't go to the secretary with your receipt and she opens the cashier.

Having worked at a college, admittedly somewhat less backward than this one, I can still confirm that the likelihood of reimbursement in a case such as this is: Dismal. Distant. Doomed.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Dear god, please tell me they're not running Wingate on that thing!

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

rjmx:
Dear god, please tell me they're not running Wingate on that thing!

The Horror. The Horror.

Rhywden · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Coyne:
1) Not even a government agency would send three (3!) people from Berlin to Dresden to update a network gateway.
One word: Union.

Six words: This is not the United States.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Are we really supposed to believe that there exists an IT Dept. that does not have stacks (or bins) of spare parts, such as network cards? Or barring that, that there wasn't at least a mostly useless server or PC laying around that they couldn't have pulled a network card from in order to restore service to the entire campus?

Rhywden · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

faoileag:
7)[...] You so don't go to the secretary with your receipt and she opens the cashier.

Actually, sometimes you do. At my school, we have this policy: Everything below 50€ gets reimbursed immediately. Everything up 500€ has to be looked over by the principal. Everything beyond that needs at least three separate quotations (and, of course, money in the corresponding budget)

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Rhywden:
Coyne:
faoileag:
1) Not even a government agency would send three (3!) people from Berlin to Dresden to update a network gateway.
One word: Union.
Six words: This is not the United States.

Seven words: But then this is also not Greece.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Coyne:

faoileag:
7) Most people in Hans shoes would just have shrugged their shoulders and told the blond guy: "your problem". Will Hans receive any cudos for saving the blond guy's behind? No. Will he be reimbursed for his expenses? Hey, this is a college. You so don't go to the secretary with your receipt and she opens the cashier.

Having worked at a college, admittedly somewhat less backward than this one, I can still confirm that the likelihood of reimbursement in a case such as this is: Dismal. Distant. Doomed.

Even a backward IT group would have a petty cash drawer, right?

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

There are times when the process is important, and there are times when the result is important. -King Sejong, Tree with Deep Roots

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Coyne:
faoileag:
2) Very few techies would take out the network card from the old server and break it. Especially not if it is government property.
It was already fractured; he just separated it.

The word was "would", not "could". Backed up by the "Especially not if it is government property" part - the ownership wouldn't affect the physical difficulty of breaking it, but it might affect the decision as to whether to do so.

English Man · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Rhywden:
Coyne:
1) Not even a government agency would send three (3!) people from Berlin to Dresden to update a network gateway.
One word: Union.
Six words: This is not the United States.

Because the largely non-socialist USA is the only country in the world who has workers' unions?

RichP · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

mikeTheLiar:
What, no buttcrack today?
Filed under: where is buttcrack?

It's in the fanfic article: "Violating the Gateway (BodyBuilder/Hanzo, MM)"

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

TRWTF is Hanzo... getting actually in time to fix the problem before the deadline expired, without being asked by anybody who could later reward him.

Should have stopped for a quick snack, just 5 minutes or so... enough to arrive just so slightly late so Mr/s Dean would have time to chew out our body builder a bit, but not late enough so it could actually be blamed on him. THEN fix the problem, making abundantly clear who was the one who saved the day.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

faoileag:
7) Most people in Hans shoes would just have shrugged their shoulders and told the blond guy: "your problem". Will Hans receive any cudos for saving the blond guy's behind? No. Will he be reimbursed for his expenses? Hey, this is a college. You so don't go to the secretary with your receipt and she opens the cashier.

"Well, Siegfried, I know a store about ten minutes away, but they're pretty expensive. How much cash do you have?"

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

TRWTF is not posting a (partially, at least,) bullshit story, on which people call out all the seriously unlikely details.

TRWTF is, having done the above, and been called out on all the details, subsequently featuring the really awkward "Sheldon Cooper-esque" comment from some guy whose nose is out of joint, which tries (and woefully fails) to address all the objections from other commenters.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

English Man:
Because the largely non-socialist USA is the only country in the world who has workers' unions?

Everyone knows that nothing that can happen in the states can ever happen anywhere else, and likewise, nothing that ever happens elsewhere could possibly occur in the states.

This is because of Freedom, apparently.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Beta:
"Well, Siegfried, I know a store about ten minutes away, but they're pretty expensive. How much cash do you have?"

Hat off to you!

Ripping off the body builder didn't come to my mind at all...

I'm clearly learning from the best around here :-)

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

pjt33:
A blonde body-builder is female. Given the later use of "he", the correct description would be a blond body-builder.

This is an East German bodybuilder we're talking about. The line is a little fuzzy.

2013-09-17 Reply Admin

faoileag:
So, a college in Hessen supposedly has a campus in Saxony but Central IT is located in Berlin. That's three different states.
Germany is a federal state just like the US of A, education is in the responsibility of the individual states, so this part of the "Hanzo"-stories is very badly researched.

I mean, would you write a story in which Princeton or the MIT operates an Albuquerque campus with Central IT for both situated in Washington DC?

the University of California owns part of Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. not a full campus, sure, but definitely school property across state lines.

operagost · 2013-09-17 Reply Admin

Nick:
I call bullshit. There's no way a new network adapter would have picked up the routing configuration from the old one after installing it. So there's no way the old box booted up and everything magically started working.

QFT. We're missing 30 minutes of BS: getting a "that IP address is already assigned to another network adapter", opening device manager, setting it to show hidden devices, trying to remove the old card's driver and being told it's required to boot... etc.

Waste Not, Want Not

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