• joe (unregistered)

    What is a floppy disk?

  • Jimmy (unregistered)

    Its amazing how simple operations aren't grasped by certain individuals. How hard is it to understand SELECT statements in SQL?

    Also performens, did the developer even test his/her own code? I mean which developer have the time to wait several hours to see if the code performes as planned. Also the project manager most of the time thinks operations takes too long even when the client doesn't...oh wait did they even have a project manager that tested the program...

    I myself am in a project where several seconds of operations might be too long, fortunatly we have good methods to test and possibility to increase performes too.

    Captcha: ullamcorper??? what the heck is an ullamcorper...

  • (cs)
    J. Walter Weatherman:
    Boring.

    Agreed. I think that Rat guy deserves a fist page rather than this boring story. So people who aren't proficient in database design hire someone and he makes it efficient. Like duh.

  • (cs)

    Since it's the customer service reps that give us developers constantly changing requirements, without regard to time, space and the laws of physics, it seems quite reasonable that us developers should have no regard for time, space and performance of the stuff we produce. Let those same customer service reps deal with the unhappy customers; it is, after all, their job! </smirk>

  • sir_flexalot (unregistered) in reply to Lysis
    Lysis:
    J. Walter Weatherman:
    Boring.

    Agreed. I think that Rat guy deserves a fist page rather than this boring story. So people who aren't proficient in database design hire someone and he makes it efficient. Like duh.

    Interesting notion... have we exhausted the exploding server type stories?

  • Dean Menezes (unregistered)

    All the MS Access solution needs is a wooden table. Very enterprisy!

    Oh yeah, and SEVVUNTH!

  • (cs)

    Was this originally posted in 1995? Where 90MB is considered big, and people still use floppy disks?

  • Loren Pechtel (unregistered)

    I would guess the programmer did test his code: Just on a small database and not a production database.

  • Kederaji (unregistered) in reply to joe
    joe:
    What is a floppy disk?
    An ancient, arcane technology that was common in the days when using MS Access 97 was actually somewhat acceptable.
  • Ubersoldat (unregistered) in reply to Kederaji
    Kederaji:
    joe:
    What is a floppy disk?
    An ancient, arcane technology that was common in the days when using MS Access 97 was actually somewhat acceptable.

    Yeah... I remember those days and was then when my first career decision was made: "No! I Won't Learn Visual Basic". And look at me now, happily developing in Cobol... now my mantra is "no regrets, the past is gone"

    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Have the captchas changed language?

  • Patrick (unregistered)

    I didn't know that Helio wrote software now. "Don't call it software...don't call us a software company."

  • (cs)

    Ahh, bone density scanners with bad software. Perhaps this is why the pursuit of happiness has become no more than a legend.

  • (cs)

    At least the bone density scanner company is honest about not being a software company. Their crazy lack of procedural efficiency rather proves that.

    Just because you can write a little code or SQL doesn't mean you're a software developer. Or a DB architect.

    The thing that makes me nervous is if they claim that they're not a hardware company, either.

  • Michael (unregistered) in reply to Jimmy
    Jimmy:
    ullamcorper??? what the heck is an ullamcorper...

    It's Latin for "anybody", I think - it comes from the Lorem Ipsum text, which is used by typesetters etc. when they need some example text. The original text came from a Latin text, but has been mangled: e.g. the first word "Lorem" actually is the word "dolorem" ("of pain") with the beginning chopped off.

    Ah good - 8 years of Latin wasn't in vain, after all.... ;o)

  • Dude (unregistered)

    And they complain about long waiting time.

    CAPaTCHA: Ideo......Whats that?

  • SF (unregistered) in reply to Lars Vargas
    Lars Vargas:
    Just because you can write a little code or SQL doesn't mean you're a software developer. Or a DB architect.

    This site is here to prove that the reverse is also true.

  • (cs) in reply to SF
    SF:
    Lars Vargas:
    Just because you can write a little code or SQL doesn't mean you're a software developer. Or a DB architect.

    This site is here to prove that the reverse is also true.

    Well said!

  • RandomWTF (unregistered)

    "we're not a software company."

    A common attitude, unfortunately. The quality of software often seems to be treated as a secondary concern, even if it's a critical part of the products function.

    I've closed accounts with banks and credit card companies for this very reason. I don't care if they don't think they are 'software companies', the fact of the matter is that 99% of my interaction with them is through software and if they can't get it right I'll simply go elsewhere.

  • (cs)

    We must come up with a name for this. It could be How 'bout "Reverse Query Sub-Optimization" (RQSO), or... "Inverse Real-time Scanning" (IRS, so people can be happy about at least a IRS). Marketing will be totally happy, and we can even make a nice amount of money with it! (just add a usefull select statement before copying and apply same principle)

  • (cs) in reply to RandomWTF
    RandomWTF:
    A common attitude, unfortunately. The quality of software often seems to be treated as a secondary concern, even if it's a critical part of the products function.

    But...but....for $25 I can get a whole web app from a guy named Mohammed from rentacoder! Surely from all his high outsource ratings his code must be impeccable and it's cheeeap!

  • Mohammed (unregistered) in reply to Lysis

    Hey now, I don't pick on your code, and at least my ratings are publicly available.

  • IvyMike (unregistered) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    Ahh, bone density scanners with bad software. Perhaps this is why the pursuit of happiness has become no more than a legend.

    It's a time machine... I know it's a time machine...

  • Frenchier than thou (unregistered) in reply to RandomWTF

    Don't get me started! "We can't change the name on your account. To do that we have to close the account then open a new one, and there is a 80$ new account fee"
    "That's stupid, don't expect me to pay the equivalent of 4 months' subscription for a name change"
    "It's the software's fault, it won't let us do that."

    My final answer: "Stop the bullshit, I make software for a living and I can assure you that it doesn't let you do it because your company doesn't want to. And good luck trying to collect any money from THAT name."

  • (cs) in reply to Jimmy
    Jimmy:
    Its amazing how simple operations aren't grasped by certain individuals. How hard is it to understand SELECT statements in SQL?

    Also performens, did the developer even test his/her own code? I mean which developer have the time to wait several hours to see if the code performes as planned. Also the project manager most of the time thinks operations takes too long even when the client doesn't...oh wait did they even have a project manager that tested the program...

    I myself am in a project where several seconds of operations might be too long, fortunatly we have good methods to test and possibility to increase performes too.

    Captcha: ullamcorper??? what the heck is an ullamcorper...

    But it worked on my machine when I tested it with my 3MB "development" database...

  • (cs) in reply to Ubersoldat
    Ubersoldat:
    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Based on what a couple of present and former MS employees have told me, she probably worked in either marketing or HR.

  • (cs) in reply to GalacticCowboy
    GalacticCowboy:
    Ubersoldat:
    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Based on what a couple of present and former MS employees have told me, she probably worked in either marketing or HR.

    No, she's just dating one of the executives there and wearing his shirt.

  • wiregoat (unregistered) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    GalacticCowboy:
    Ubersoldat:
    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Based on what a couple of present and former MS employees have told me, she probably worked in either marketing or HR.

    No, she's just dating one of the executives there and wearing his shirt.

    Yeah, next time check for pants

  • (cs)

    So, when the customer saw that Jake's solution was faster and simpler did they... Have a bone to pick with the Manufacturer?

  • (cs) in reply to Ubersoldat
    Ubersoldat:
    Kederaji:
    joe:
    What is a floppy disk?
    An ancient, arcane technology that was common in the days when using MS Access 97 was actually somewhat acceptable.

    Yeah... I remember those days and was then when my first career decision was made: "No! I Won't Learn Visual Basic". And look at me now, happily developing in Cobol... now my mantra is "no regrets, the past is gone"

    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Have the captchas changed language?

    Why was a woman "wearing an MS batch"? Did she have DOS commands printed on her shirt?

  • jimi (unregistered)

    Step 4. Stop using Access.

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    Was this originally posted in 1995? Where 90MB is considered big, and people still use floppy disks?
    I'd agree to this, get with the times. I'd recommend the cutting-edge technology of the Iomega 100 Zip Drive You can get about 70 floppies worth of space with this, it's the wave of the future!
  • Zygo (unregistered) in reply to joe
    joe:
    What is a floppy disk?

    A rare orthopedic disorder of the vertebrae of the spine. Diagnosis usually requires specialized instruments, such as a bone density scanner.

  • Joon (unregistered) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    Ahh, bone density scanners with bad software. Perhaps this is why the pursuit of happiness has become no more than a legend.

    OMG, That is so funny, I happened to watch that movie the other day...

  • Pitabred (unregistered) in reply to Jimmy
    Jimmy:
    Its amazing how simple operations aren't grasped by certain individuals. How hard is it to understand SELECT statements in SQL?

    Also performens, did the developer even test his/her own code? I mean which developer have the time to wait several hours to see if the code performes as planned. Also the project manager most of the time thinks operations takes too long even when the client doesn't...oh wait did they even have a project manager that tested the program...

    I myself am in a project where several seconds of operations might be too long, fortunatly we have good methods to test and possibility to increase performes too.

    Captcha: ullamcorper??? what the heck is an ullamcorper...

    Ok, I hate being an asshole, but seriously... you're a developer! Use some spell-checking software if you can't figure out how to spell "performance" or "fortunately"! Hell, new versions of Firefox have it for all forms.

    That said, it's hard for a lot of people to understand SQL, even some developers. Or proper sorting. Or much of anything at all... they just know more than the people around them.

  • (cs) in reply to T $
    T $:
    vt_mruhlin:
    Was this originally posted in 1995? Where 90MB is considered big, and people still use floppy disks?
    I'd agree to this, get with the times. I'd recommend the cutting-edge technology of the Iomega 100 Zip Drive You can get about 70 floppies worth of space with this, it's the wave of the future!
    It probably did happen a long time ago, but the submitter didn't share it with anyone until recently. Don't assume that everything you hear happened happened yesterday.
  • whicker (unregistered)

    Instead of asking what the real wtf is, I find myself asking what the original WTF was...

    So what if there was candid honesty overheard with a speaker phone. The real WTF would have been if the technician (i assume?) said "we are a software company, and our hardware is designed and built in [[shoddy country]]".

    When it's one tech speaking to another, I would hope that conversations would not take on the over-positive sales-droid manner of speaking. You can call tech support, marketing, or sales for a friendly voice.

    Professionalism includes not lying (but I agree in also not bashing your own company every chance you get).

    So, a little scripting solved the problem. I commend the submitter. What I do not commend is hiding behind bureaucracy. Now, the real question, did the submitter tell the manufacturer about his (excellent) solution? What would the manufacturer say? I would have laughed if it was, "sorry, we're not a software company" again.

    See? Lack of punch line makes meh.

  • SidTheSexist (unregistered) in reply to KattMan

    Yeah, an attractive woman with a good job either a) slept her way there, or b) is only there for eye candy.

  • (cs) in reply to SidTheSexist
    SidTheSexist:
    Yeah, an attractive woman with a good job either a) slept her way there, or b) is only there for eye candy.
    I see where you're going with this one -- an excellent deduction, my dear Watson.

    That would mean that butt-ugly men such as yerself are employed largely on the grounds that they have huge, bulbous, green, glowing heads?

    No, wait: that's not it. Gorgeous, pouting, men such as yerself have a good job because a) they haven't slept their way there (I'm just guessing, but this does refer to sex rather than the more obvious interpretation of dozing off during the cab ride to the interview, right?), and b) nobody in their right mind would consider you eye-candy.

    Was Mommy nasty to you when you went poopy in your diapers?

    Just asking.

  • Watson (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    SidTheSexist:
    Yeah, an attractive woman with a good job either a) slept her way there, or b) is only there for eye candy.

    Was Mommy nasty to you when you went poopy in your diapers?

    Just asking.

    Let's try that again:

    SidTheSexist:
    ....
  • Grassfire (unregistered)

    cough Access cough

  • (cs) in reply to Michael
    Michael:
    Jimmy:
    what the heck is an ullamcorper...
    It's Latin for "anybody", I think - it comes from the Lorem Ipsum text, which is used by typesetters etc. when they need some example text. The original text came from a Latin text, but has been mangled: e.g. the first word "Lorem" actually is the word "dolorem" ("of pain") with the beginning chopped off.

    Ah good - 8 years of Latin wasn't in vain, after all.... ;o)

    Eight years of Latin, and you're reading and posting on TDWTF? That's quite the contrast. Of course, perhaps you're not making a career out of working as a code monkey either; I know I'm not.

    Plus, I only took two years of Latin...

  • Lynx@Work (unregistered) in reply to wiregoat
    wiregoat:
    KattMan:
    GalacticCowboy:
    Ubersoldat:
    BTW, I'm starting to change my perception about MS. Today at the coffee shop with the strange name (we make bucks, from stars) I saw this incredible hot chick with a MS batch, oh! I was so tempted to ask her when Vista was going Open Source =) Because that's what you'd talk about with a hot chick that works at MS, right?

    Based on what a couple of present and former MS employees have told me, she probably worked in either marketing or HR.

    No, she's just dating one of the executives there and wearing his shirt.

    Yeah, next time check for pants

    Hey, the comment just said she had a MS batch (sic). Nothing said about her wearing a shirt or pants..

    But, to be totally off-topic, I've seen some hot-looking ladies in IT who are quite proficient in what they do, so it's not always sleeping your way to the position or being eye-candy. Sometimes it's really about capabilities.

  • Black Hat (unregistered)
    [image]

    In Case you don't understand: STOP THE SEXIST COMMENTS!

    Really, I am not joking, this is disgusting :-(

  • csb (unregistered)

    Nice way-of-working in such a sensitive area. We copy a database full of data including patient names, diagnoses, etc., seemingly remove some data, and send the stuff to QC ...

    • full size (yeah, I know, that's part of the WTF)
    • still having all the sensitive data we went out to remove in the first place, in the "deleted" records.

    Highly illegal in any country that has laws about data privacy ... though I'm not sure whether the country this WTF comes from qualifies as such ;-)

    Did some stuff for a similar purpose some time ago ... different medical field, using XML(!) to export and transfer QC data from a database(!), with a programming language(!), in a software company(!). Doesn't QC usually use a standardised format?

    Whatever. Sebastian

  • csb (unregistered) in reply to csb

    Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention my several female colleagues who really know how to do their (IT) jobs :-) Sebastian

  • (cs) in reply to Black Hat
    Black Hat:

    In Case you don't understand: STOP THE SEXIST COMMENTS!

    Really, I am not joking, this is disgusting :-(

    And now I'm tempted to ask for naked pics...

    Mean streak? me?

  • someone (unregistered) in reply to whicker

    The real WTF is they're using MS Access for this!

  • TC (unregistered)

    Such a remark is a non sequitur designed to absolve the company and those involved of responsibility. Unfortunately its a sign of the times...

  • Dave (unregistered) in reply to RandomWTF
    RandomWTF:
    I've closed accounts with banks and credit card companies for this very reason. I don't care if they don't think they are 'software companies', the fact of the matter is that 99% of my interaction with them is through software and if they can't get it right I'll simply go elsewhere.

    Where the f*** are you now then?

  • Dave (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    SidTheSexist:
    Yeah, an attractive woman with a good job either a) slept her way there, or b) is only there for eye candy.
    I see where you're going with this one -- an excellent deduction, my dear Watson.

    That would mean that butt-ugly men such as yerself are employed largely on the grounds that they have huge, bulbous, green, glowing heads?

    No, wait: that's not it. Gorgeous, pouting, men such as yerself have a good job because a) they haven't slept their way there (I'm just guessing, but this does refer to sex rather than the more obvious interpretation of dozing off during the cab ride to the interview, right?), and b) nobody in their right mind would consider you eye-candy.

    Was Mommy nasty to you when you went poopy in your diapers?

    Just asking.

    Why do butch, ugly lesbians never understand sarcasm?

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