• (cs)

    Please keep Sasha's co-worker away from keyboards. Accidents are bound to happen otherwise.

  • CMIT (unregistered) in reply to steenbergh

    please keep sasha's co-worker away from the gene pool. Accidents are bound to happen otherwise.

  • TheHungryGhost (unregistered)

    Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

  • Dlareg (unregistered)

    please keep sasha's co-worker away. Accidents are bound to happen.

  • anonymous_coder() (unregistered)

    Waitaminute, I had my +5 Cluebat around here somewhere...

  • borgarel (unregistered)

    The problem is that a lot of people think like this , including my boss ^^

  • Warren (unregistered)

    That's nothing.

    I can write and print a letter using nothing more than Windows? I've got a batch file for it, it contains START WINWORD

  • (cs)

    Well, you could use VBScript. No Javascript at all.

  • Rene (unregistered)

    I like to see his code that opens up the browser window again.

  • Ryan (unregistered)

    VB + stupidity.

    I don't see an wft?

  • (cs)

    Sometimes the line between a "fundamental underpinning" and "being open to new methodologies" is very thin.

    I remember I had to lecture my thesis professor on why just making a program or a function unconditionally multithreaded (despite of data dependencies, sync delays etc.) and spamming it across a dozen threads on a dual (or even worse, a single ) CPU system was not worth the time benchmarking.

    Also had a hard time explaining why sometimes spamming a parallelized function that would run for a couple seconds anyway across a dozen networked MPI clients doesn't always pay. Oh well...

  • AdT (unregistered) in reply to lolwtf
    lolwtf:
    Well, you could use VBScript. No Javascript at all.

    This will only work with IE, not with actual browsers.

  • (cs)

    Sasha is not credit to team

  • (cs)

    Needs more OCR and wooden tables

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    I would seriously question the continued retention of Sascha's co-worker. How can anyone write out the script block (<SCRIPT LANGUAGE='JavaScript'>) without realising that they're emitting Javascript? Talk about cargo cult, the guy clearly has no idea what his code is doing.

  • (cs)

    I like my Daily WTFs like I like my women:

    Short, sweet, and just a little bit dumb.

  • (cs)

    I've got a way that REALLY doesn't use javascript:

    Private Sub closePage(ByRef page As System.Web.UI.Page)
        Dim s As String
        s = "Please press Alt + F4"
        page.RegisterClientScriptBlock("tjsClosePage", s)
    End Sub

    Although that only works on some OS's

  • loln00b (unregistered) in reply to AdT
    AdT:
    lolwtf:
    Well, you could use VBScript. No Javascript at all.

    This will only work with IE, not with actual browsers.

    That's no problem, you can write some code to recognize the browser, and if it's not the correct one (MSIE), redirect to an error page.

  • (cs)

    This was actually not as bad as I had feared. I clicked the cut-text entirely expecting to find some server-side code that triggers a code exploit in the browser, causing it to crash. If the browser dies, then the window ends up closing, right?

  • nerfherder (unregistered) in reply to Benanov

    I like Comments like I like my coffee, cold and bitter.

  • nerfherder (unregistered) in reply to Rootbeer
    Rootbeer:
    This was actually not as bad as I had feared. I clicked the cut-text entirely expecting to find some server-side code that triggers a code exploit in the browser, causing it to crash. If the browser dies, then the window ends up closing, right?

    That wouldn't be a WTF, that would be a novel solution.

  • Kef Schecter (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    How can anyone write out the script block (<SCRIPT LANGUAGE='JavaScript'>) without realising that they're emitting Javascript?

    I doubt that was actually the case. The point was to carry the operation out from the server side, which was what happened. Yes, that doesn't literally comply with Sascha's command to "do it without JavaScript", but it complies with the spirit in which it was intended: the server side initiating what's normally client-side behavior.

    • Kef
  • (cs)

    headdesk

    And by head I mean Sascha's coworker's head.

  • ACDC (unregistered)

    I like my coffee like I like my men - strong and black

  • Stig (unregistered)

    Fork. Eyeball.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Kef Schecter
    Kef Schecter:
    Anonymous:
    How can anyone write out the script block (<SCRIPT LANGUAGE='JavaScript'>) without realising that they're emitting Javascript?
    I doubt that was actually the case. The point was to carry the operation out from the server side, which was what happened. Yes, that doesn't literally comply with Sascha's command to "do it without JavaScript", but it complies with the spirit in which it was intended: the server side initiating what's normally client-side behavior.
    • Kef
    I think the point of this WTF is that Sascha's co-worker did not understand that his solution was using Javascript, even though he was registering (from server-side) a script block that was clearly marked "LANGUAGE='JavaScript'". After all, Sascha specifically asked "just show me how you closed the web browser window without using JavaScript!" and the coder turned over his Javascript solution. I'm pretty sure he had no idea that was registering client-side Javascript, even though it is written right there in the script block.
  • rewind (unregistered)

    He could have ...used an activex plugin ...that installed a toolbar ...that looked for a custom code dongle ...that would close the window ...that acted a lot like javascript ...but isn't! because we don't need javascript to do this

    hat would have shown Sascha...asking stoopid questions.

  • nonny nonny (unregistered) in reply to ACDC
    ACDC:
    I like my coffee like I like my men - strong and black

    I like my coffee sweet and creamy...

  • Neil (unregistered)

    I thought HTML was the underpinning of the web and Javascript was a bloated tumor hanging off the side.

  • Anonymous Cowherd (unregistered) in reply to Claxon
    Claxon:
    I've got a way that REALLY doesn't use javascript: 
    Private Sub closePage(ByRef page As System.Web.UI.Page)
        Dim s As String
        s = "Please press Alt + F4"
        page.RegisterClientScriptBlock("tjsClosePage", s)
    End Sub

    Although that only works on some OS's

    That would just give you a JS error and no text, nice idea though!

  • (cs) in reply to Neil
    Neil:
    I thought HTML was the underpinning of the web and Javascript was a bloated tumor hanging off the side.
    Sounds about right. Except for the “side” part; try lower down.
  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous Cowherd
    Anonymous Cowherd:
    Claxon:
    I've got a way that REALLY doesn't use javascript: 
    Private Sub closePage(ByRef page As System.Web.UI.Page)
        Dim s As String
        s = "Please press Alt + F4"
        page.RegisterClientScriptBlock("tjsClosePage", s)
    End Sub

    Although that only works on some OS's

    That would just give you a JS error and no text, nice idea though!

    Damn, I was totally going to steal that idea and use it. Thanks for the warning. Boy would I have looked dumb if I had turned that in to my boss and it hadn't worked.

  • Konrads (unregistered)

    Actually,

    It can work: Have a COMET/AJAX connection open to server and have server send the message at will.

  • Nite (unregistered)

    I like my women like I like my coffee...

    Ground up in the freezer

  • Tempura (unregistered)

    This comment got wrote without writing the comment.

  • Stig (unregistered) in reply to Nite
    Nite:
    I like my women like I like my coffee...

    Ground up in the freezer

    It puts the lotion on its skin

    CAPTCHA - "abbas"...as if one wasn't enough already

  • jordanwb (unregistered)

    Who's saying what in this article? Was it Sascha that was saying that it can be done or his/her coworker? It's not very clear to me.

  • Dave C. (unregistered) in reply to Nite
    Nite:
    I like my women like I like my coffee...

    Ground up in the freezer

    You pre-grind your coffee?! That's just sick!

  • Eyrieowl (unregistered) in reply to Kef Schecter
    Kef Schecter:
    doesn't literally comply with Sascha's command to "do it without JavaScript", but it complies with the spirit in which it was intended: the server side initiating what's normally client-side behavior.
    • Kef

    Pardon? Do you understand how the intar-web works? You have servers serve up content to clients? The co-worker's solution isn't initiating ANYTHING any more than any other web page served up from a server is. The server emits code, which, IF executed, can cause a window to close. The server does not, however, close the window. Just try loading a page with that code while using NoScript...you'll quickly see that the server isn't controlling the browser magically.

  • Junkie (unregistered) in reply to campkev
    campkev:
    Anonymous Cowherd:
    Claxon:
    I've got a way that REALLY doesn't use javascript: 
    Private Sub closePage(ByRef page As System.Web.UI.Page)
        Dim s As String
        s = "Please press Alt + F4"
        page.RegisterClientScriptBlock("tjsClosePage", s)
    End Sub

    Although that only works on some OS's

    That would just give you a JS error and no text, nice idea though!

    Damn, I was totally going to steal that idea and use it. Thanks for the warning. Boy would I have looked dumb if I had turned that in to my boss and it hadn't worked.

    Blame Sasha.

  • Indrora (unregistered)

    Now, that is sad. thats past sad. Its just.... WTF.

  • sdfggfdsg (unregistered) in reply to Neil
    Neil:
    I thought HTML was the underpinning of the web and Javascript was a bloated tumor hanging off the side.
    No, porn is the fundamental underpinning.
  • RBoy (unregistered) in reply to nerfherder
    nerfherder:
    I like Comments like I like my coffee, cold and bitter.

    I like Comments like I like my coffee, First.

    (Just to piss off the angry people out there)

    (NotCaptcha: Commoveo. Slang for "Come over", as in "Hey, Tina. Commoveo here!".)

  • resa (unregistered)

    Ah hell...WTF?

  • Wizard Stan (unregistered) in reply to sdfggfdsg
    sdfggfdsg:
    Neil:
    I thought HTML was the underpinning of the web and Javascript was a bloated tumor hanging off the side.
    No, porn is the fundamental underpinning.
    Close. Porn is what we fundamentally pine to be under.
  • Robb (unregistered) in reply to Vechni
    Vechni:
    Sasha is not credit to team

    Oh my God, who touched Sasha? Who touched my gun?!

  • workmad3 (unregistered) in reply to Eyrieowl
    Eyrieowl:
    Kef Schecter:
    doesn't literally comply with Sascha's command to "do it without JavaScript", but it complies with the spirit in which it was intended: the server side initiating what's normally client-side behavior.
    • Kef

    Pardon? Do you understand how the intar-web works? You have servers serve up content to clients? The co-worker's solution isn't initiating ANYTHING any more than any other web page served up from a server is. The server emits code, which, IF executed, can cause a window to close. The server does not, however, close the window. Just try loading a page with that code while using NoScript...you'll quickly see that the server isn't controlling the browser magically.

    Ah, I was looking for this comment and was going to add it if it didn't exist :)

    By the original logic, any javascript that closes a window is 'the server closing the window' because that's where the JS originated... patently absurd

  • Topper (unregistered) in reply to Warren
    Warren:
    That's nothing.

    I can write and print a letter using nothing more than Windows? I've got a batch file for it, it contains START WINWORD

    Stop stealing my lines!

  • Not THAT Alex (unregistered) in reply to Konrads
    Konrads:
    Actually,

    It can work: Have a COMET/AJAX connection open to server and have server send the message at will.

    Do you know what the "J" in AJAX stands for? I'm guessing the answer is no.

  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to Benanov
    Benanov:
    I like my Daily WTFs like I like my women:

    Short, sweet, and just a little bit dumb.

    I prefer tall, smart and sweet. With long legs, full lips, sparkly eyes, an adventurous spirit and long long hair.

    I know my example is contrived by the dual applicability domains involved, but the females-are-awesome part may yet shine through.

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