• Chuck Lester (unregistered)

    He should have hit her in the head with the keyboard in the frist place.

  • smilr (unregistered)
    Anon:
    Fist

    What I would have been tempted to use in this situation.

    Odd that the solution was mentioned partway through the story: after verifying that yes, the wireless keyboard and it's receiver positioning were at fault, could he have not trotted out the "we won't support this third party crap" line?

  • flop (cs)

    Just put the receiver below the desk - with a bit of sticky tape, directly below the keyboard.

    Then it's in range, and she wouldn't have to see it.

  • Dave (unregistered)

    Ending sucks.

    No Frist and damn you people who do this.

  • wotsit (unregistered)

    The real WTF is the fact he didn't have the guts to just replace her keyboard (even just doing it when she was away for the night) and let her moan to management who should back him up (especially as all he would need to say its gone for repair and that is a temporary keyboard who cares if she has that temp Keyboard for the next 10 years)

    If you tolerate people acting like sot children they just gets worse.

  • ratchet freak (cs) in reply to flop
    flop:
    Just put the receiver below the desk - with a bit of sticky tape, directly below the keyboard.

    Then it's in range, and she wouldn't have to see it.

    unless it is a metal desk

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to flop
    flop:
    Just put the receiver below the desk - with a bit of sticky tape, directly below the keyboard.

    Then it's in range, and she wouldn't have to see it.

    "I won't have sellotape on my desk! No I don't care if it's under my desk, not on my desk! I'll know it's there! You are being horrible to me! You're discriminating against followers of Eastern religions! I'll see to it you're fired!"

    Bye bye.

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to Chuck Lester
    Chuck Lester:
    He should have hit her in the head with the keyboard in the frist place.

    Th rel WTF is of curse tha Jae is a clas-A bith.

    (The captha dos not wok for new potings, only eplies, so I piked a radom pos to apend ths to.)

  • gilhad (unregistered)

    I would tell her, that the mug blockes waves between keyboard and receiver, thus blocking communication and retults to missigh characters. Then I would closed all next ticket with "Willingly sabotaged by user - works for me" without even leaving my chair.

  • Hannes (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that JD is such a wuss.

  • Pastebreath (cs)

    What's the problem? If she has that much clout just have her formally request a keyboard with a more powerful receiver.

    I've discovered that almost any unreasonable demand can be solved with money.

  • wotsit (unregistered) in reply to Pastebreath

    or failing that a revolver

  • PNellesen (unregistered)

    Physis is hrd

  • pjt33 (cs) in reply to Pastebreath
    Pastebreath:
    What's the problem?
    As presented (which, as we all know, doesn't necessarily have much in common with what actually happened), the problem is that JD didn't explain to Jane what the actual issue was. There are various workarounds: let her pick the one which is least upsetting to her.
  • faoileag (unregistered)

    Another solution to the problem might be playing to the narrow-mindedness of the complainant.

    So she wants a wireless keyboard. So why not exaggerate a bit about the potentially dangerous radiation? Started with "Perhaps I shouldn't tell you..." (thus generating the feeling of parting with a trade-secret), followed by a very technical rant about radiation (including medical terms, the word "radiation", protests against cellphone antenna etc), finished with "Or why do you think, my keyboard is not wireless?" in a very serious voice.

    And after that the sentence "But it's your decision!" to burden the other person with the responsibility of the outcome, further inducing them to play it safe.

  • Sir Galahad the pure (unregistered)

    Well, he could have been honest with her, telling her "If the coffee mug is in the line of sight between the keyboard and the receiver it will garble your keyboard output."

    After that close any ticket from her with the beloved resolution of "Code ID10T - Can't fix" or "Problem exists between keyboard and receiver".

  • Geoff (unregistered) in reply to pjt33
    pjt33:
    Pastebreath:
    What's the problem?
    As presented (which, as we all know, doesn't necessarily have much in common with what actually happened), the problem is that JD didn't explain to Jane what the actual issue was. There are various workarounds: let her pick the one which is least upsetting to her.

    It does not sound like Jane has done much to make JD want to help her, or even to make it easy for JD to help her. That said I agree JD could have at least stated "I believe your metal coffee mug blocks the keyboad's transmissions when its in the path of the receiver."

    If at that point Jane won't cooperate with at least attempting the logical steps to test that hypothesis by moving, the keyboard, the receiver, or the mug or some combination there of; than she is a total b**ch and I say blow her off, but by not even attempting to communicate the problem JD is kind being a dick.

  • NMe (cs)

    JD is just too nice. "No" is also an answer. Some problems can't be fixed, user stupidity is one.

  • nobulate (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Zathras (unregistered)

    If you don't tell the customer why you did something apparently arbitrary, you must assume they will immediately reverse it for equally arbitrary reasons.

    There's a reason the magic/more magic switch was labelled, after all.

  • Hasse de great (unregistered)

    It strikes me that then amount of problems of this kind tends to occurs much more frequently on the other side of the pond.

    In my 30+ years in IT industry I have met stupid users and managers but not as stupid as described in many of the TDWTF stories. Even when taking into account that the stories are made exorbitant to make them funnier to read.

  • Dave H (unregistered) in reply to wotsit
    wotsit:
    The real WTF is the fact he didn't have the guts to just replace her keyboard (even just doing it when she was away for the night) and let her moan to management who should back him up (especially as all he would need to say its gone for repair and that is a temporary keyboard who cares if she has that temp Keyboard for the next 10 years)

    If you tolerate people acting like sot children they just gets worse.

    Nothing more permanent than a temporary solution.

  • Dave H (unregistered)

    "You can have the receiver THERE and the coffee mug THERE, or you can have a working keyboard. Your choice. Future tickets will be marked Won't Fix."

  • Lysander (unregistered) in reply to Sir Galahad the pure

    Exactly - and any future tickets would be auto-closed with "User interference with wireless receiver" in the hidden-from-end-user ticket documentation and "User rejects all solutions for problem; ticket/issue previously entered with same result." as it's public close-out documentation.

    Captcha: uxor. As in this PEBCAK is a real uxor.

  • hobbes (unregistered)

    Jane had the rare distinction, in JD's opinion, of being a person who functioned pretty poorly even with her coffee

    Unfortunately, that's not all that rare.

  • D8 (unregistered)

    You could buy her a porcelain mug but I can fathom the response.

  • Smug Unix User (unregistered)

    Some companies without property management contracts might allow you to drill a hole through the desk and run a wired keyboard that would appear wireless. Using a Kim Jong-Un (Logitech Marble Mouse) Trackball you can have a wireless mouse in the same fashion.

  • ip-guru (cs)

    But the coffee stays hotter longer when it is like this

  • faoileag (unregistered)

    I find it quite amazing how many people think that in "a regional office managing several states" with some "four IT staff" there exists something like a support ticketing system.

    Especially when you consider that a) JD has been hired as a database-analyst and b) is probably on a part-time contract since he still seems to be a student.

    More probably, the workflow is like follows: Jane complains to her manager, "Jim". "Jim" calls whoever of the IT staff acts as department head "Bob". "Bob" tells the least important of his staff to look at Jane's complaint.

    This is not uncommon even for a company with 50+ employees.

  • TC (unregistered) in reply to gilhad
    gilhad:
    I would tell her, that the mug blockes waves between keyboard and receiver, thus blocking communication and retults to missigh characters. Then I would closed all next ticket with "Willingly sabotaged by user - works for me" without even leaving my chair.

    Agreed. Frustratingly dumb story.

  • Krunt (unregistered)

    TRWTF: Bitchy woman has hots for DBA so finds some unreliable hardware that will keep him coming back to her desk every day and he's too stupid to realise.

  • Paul (unregistered)

    I'm sure this story is a little exaggerated, but the first thing JD should have done was make a trip to this woman's boss's office, tell him/her what a twatbasket she was being, how he was treated, and exactly what he was going to tell HR. Then go tell HR. If they don't listen, lawyer. No one deserves to be treated like that.

  • Paul (unregistered) in reply to faoileag

    My IT support staff consists of myself, my helpdesk tech, and a tech in one of our satellite offices. We have a ticketing system, and make extensive use of it. It's one of the best things we've ever done to get organized.

  • MrBester (unregistered) in reply to Hannes
    Hannes:
    TRWTF is that JD is such a wuss.
    Indeed. "Go fuck yourself, Jane" is four simple words. I'm sure everybody else in the small staff doesn't like her prissy attitude either.
  • Hasse de great (unregistered) in reply to MrBester
    MrBester:
    Hannes:
    TRWTF is that JD is such a wuss.
    Indeed. "Go fuck yourself, Jane" is four simple words. I'm sure everybody else in the small staff doesn't like her prissy attitude either.

    Amazed over American English: Pleasure handling used for swearing! Genital intercourse is mostly done for pleasure even while masturbate.

  • MN Ghost (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that JD never explained why he moved the receiver and that the coffee mug was the problem. Let her figure out the problem herself if she won't accept help. And then stop answering her tickets.

    TRRWTF is the number of people here that didn't have the same reaction.

  • Herr Otto Flick (unregistered) in reply to Chuck Lester
    Chuck Lester:
    He should have hit her in the head with the keyboard in the frist place.

    This is why I insist on IBM Model-M keyboards for work, you can easily detach the wired cable for when you need an offensive weapon, and anyone hit with the full weight of a Model-M won't be coming back for more.

    Plus the keyboard will last longer than most companies.

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to MrBester
    MrBester:
    Hannes:
    TRWTF is that JD is such a wuss.
    Indeed. "Go fuck yourself, Jane" is four simple words. I'm sure everybody else in the small staff doesn't like her prissy attitude either.

    Unfortunately if she's a "top sales representative" that means she'll be successful, and so will have considerable clout. Top sales representative trounces student on day release in a rude-language, bad behaviour and primate arrogance context.

  • Scott Neumann (unregistered) in reply to Hasse de great

    The word fuck did not originate as an acronym (e.g., Fornication Under Command of the King). It crept, fully formed, into the English language from Dutch or Low German around the 15th century.

    Yep, so American.

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    MrBester:
    Hannes:
    TRWTF is that JD is such a wuss.
    Indeed. "Go fuck yourself, Jane" is four simple words. I'm sure everybody else in the small staff doesn't like her prissy attitude either.

    Unfortunately if she's a "top sales representative" that means she'll be successful, and so will have considerable clout. Top sales representative trounces student on day release in a rude-language, bad behaviour and primate arrogance context.

    "contest" not "context", blame work distractions for that typo.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    "contest" not "context", blame work distractions for that typo.
    Freudian slip?
  • Quango (cs)

    Why resign from the job because one user is a pedantic idiot? You'll never find a company that doesn't have at least one.

    Every time she opens a ticket you just close it PICNIC.

  • Nutster (cs)

    All I want is for you to violate the laws of physics for me. Is that too much to ask? I mean, no one will be looking.

  • Steve The Cynic (cs)

    It is interesting that nobody has questioned the ability of an ungrounded metal mug to block enough radio to make the keyboard go flaky.

    Then again, it probably would. At home, I use Microsoft wireless mice (MS sells the only mice I can find with truly quiet buttons, and wireless means one less bit of wire on an already-crowded desk). I have to position the receiver so that the line-of-sight from it to the mouse does not pass through ...

    ... wait for it ...

    ... the keyboard (a tasty irony given the subject of today's WTF). If the keyboard blocks the line of sight, the mouse becomes unbelievably erratic. So yes, a metal mug, even ungrounded, would do in the signal.

  • Shoreline (cs)

    I'm not clear on why JD couldn't tell management in detail that Jane was sabotaging her own equipment and expecting him to fix it. Furthermore, this was eating his time working on actual work and that she was costing the company money.

  • Kempeth (unregistered)

    Dear Jane. Write one handed.

  • GWO (unregistered)

    A DailyWTF where the only female character is incompetent, stubborn and unpleasant.

    Well, there's a rarity.

  • MrFox (unregistered)

    Say it's a perfectly natural property of a wireless keyboard - which why smart people use a wire - and she can suck it up or use a wired keyboard.

  • ¯\(°_o)/¯ I DUNNO LOL (unregistered) in reply to faoileag
    faoileag:
    So she wants a wireless keyboard. So why not exaggerate a bit about the potentially dangerous radiation?
    WE HAVE A WINNER!

    Not all BOFH-worthy solutions require physical violence. Psychological warfare can be just as enjoyable.

  • Roby McAndrew (cs) in reply to Smug Unix User
    Smug Unix User:
    Some companies without property management contracts might allow you to drill a hole through the desk

    Better still offer to work late to come up with a fix. When she's gone home drill a large hole right through the mug to allow a line of sight with the keyboard, mug and receiver in the required position.

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