• Barf 4Eva (unregistered) in reply to chubertdev

    I wish, but it was simply reading comprehension failure.

  • Peter (unregistered)

    JD should use the keyboard cable to garrotte Jane.

    // eram eras erat eramus eratis erant

  • (cs)

    I used to have to repeatedly explain to my CEO that he could either browse the internet via WiFi or microwave his cornish pastie, not both.

  • Anon cow (unregistered) in reply to herby

    From the title I expected the coffee to end up in the keyboard which would be about the same result with the added joy of being self-inflicted.

  • Dobbin, J (unregistered) in reply to Hasse de great
    Amazed over American English: Pleasure handling used for swearing! Genital intercourse is mostly done for pleasure even while masturbate.

    It means that the person is so universally undesirable that they will never reproduce. Therefore, their only option is to attempt mitosis.

  • ASlicedLake (unregistered)

    Anyone who comments with "why didn't JD just <blah>" has never been in that kind of situation. I worked in a low-level job where I was not only a programmer, but also got the fun tasks like cleaning keyboards and providing certain levels of support.

    One day, a manager spilled an entire cup of coffee on her keyboard. It was given to me to clean/fix because she liked that one and didn't want a new one. It was a total PITA, but I carefully disassembled the entire thing and cleaned every millimeter so that there were no more foreign contaminants. Upon reassembly, it worked…except for one or two keys. I tried to fix it but to no avail. I returned it to the manager, explaining that I had done everything I possibly could but there were still one or two keys that didn't work, no surprise given the circumstances.

    The manager complained to my boss and I was reprimanded for not fixing it completely. Pointing out the fact that an entire cup of liquid was introduced into a sensitive electronic device did nothing to help my case as I was severely outranked by the coffee spiller.

    The point is, the Org Chart trumps all sanity at some workplaces, and I suspect JD was near the bottom.

    Awesomely, my CAPTCHA was "conventio" (apparently due to a keyboard erro)

  • (cs)

    Of course, JD was hired as a database analyst; but was forced to handle high-school level trouble tickets. This is a dead-end job for someone who has DBA chops. He should have (long ago) walked out of that place and looked for a job to match his qualifications. Probably better pay too. If he stays here, he'll just end up with no proper experience and poor job prospects when this company finally folds.

    As for Jane: she's a top sales rep; which means that she brings in the big bucks for sales. What ever she wants, she'll get. And if all that she really wants is a wireless keyboard and a stainless steel coffee mug; then for sure JD better figure out how to get it to work because Jane's millions of dollars in sales sure trumps anything else.

  • Valued Service (unregistered) in reply to ip-guru
    ip-guru:
    But the coffee stays hotter longer when it is like this

    Uh no. Metal conducts heat better.

    The whole point of porcelain and Styrofoam cups is to reduce conductivity of heat, and slow the cooling down.

  • (cs) in reply to ASlicedLake
    ASlicedLake:
    Anyone who comments with "why didn't JD just <blah>" has never been in that kind of situation. I worked in a low-level job where I was not only a programmer, but also got the fun tasks like cleaning keyboards and providing certain levels of support.

    One day, a manager spilled an entire cup of coffee on her keyboard. It was given to me to clean/fix because she liked that one and didn't want a new one. It was a total PITA, but I carefully disassembled the entire thing and cleaned every millimeter so that there were no more foreign contaminants. Upon reassembly, it worked…except for one or two keys. I tried to fix it but to no avail. I returned it to the manager, explaining that I had done everything I possibly could but there were still one or two keys that didn't work, no surprise given the circumstances.

    The manager complained to my boss and I was reprimanded for not fixing it completely. Pointing out the fact that an entire cup of liquid was introduced into a sensitive electronic device did nothing to help my case as I was severely outranked by the coffee spiller.

    The point is, the Org Chart trumps all sanity at some workplaces, and I suspect JD was near the bottom.

    Awesomely, my CAPTCHA was "conventio" (apparently due to a keyboard erro)

    That's not an org chart issue, that person was just an a-hole. They can exist at all levels.

  • Sebastian Ramadan (unregistered)

    Put a mirror on one side of her cubicle, and claim it's so she can gaze in awe at her beauty. That'll solve two problems at once ;)

  • (cs) in reply to Norman Diamond
    Hasse de great:

    In my 30+ years in IT industry I have met stupid users and managers but not as stupid as described in many of the TDWTF stories. Even when taking into account that the stories are made exorbitant to make them funnier to read.

    Kuddos on managing to get a work-from-home job back in the 80s...

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to kiboro_too
    kiboro_too:
    I used to have to repeatedly explain to my CEO that he could either browse the internet via WiFi or microwave his cornish pastie, not both.
    Microwave his cornish pastie and what... stand there twiddling his thumbs while it cooked? ARE YOU INSANE?
  • The Crunger (unregistered) in reply to Hasse de great
    Hasse de great:
    Mr. Bester:
    Indeed. "Go fuck yourself, Jane" is four simple words.

    Amazed over American English: Pleasure handling used for swearing! Genital intercourse is mostly done for pleasure even while masturbate.

    The problem is not really language, it is culture. A long, long time ago, some dead white Europeans drove out everybody with strange religious ideas. In a real tactical blunder, they sent them all to the same place, so that strange ideas like "sex is dirty and sexual references unpleasant" could flourish.

    Now, I live in a country where those 4 words would get anyone fired, even if the other party was completely at fault.

    I think this is one of the earliest precursors to the concept of "Technical Debt". The short-term problem was solved, with long-term repercussions for many. Thanks for highlighting our misuse of your language, when the real cock up was many years ago.

  • Essex Kitten (unregistered)

    "THIS IS WHERE IT GOES! Why can't you fix my keyboard?!"

    "BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB BITCH WITH NO UNDERSTANDING OF RADIO, that's why!"

  • anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Essex Kitten
    Essex Kitten:
    "THIS IS WHERE IT GOES! Why can't you fix my keyboard?!"

    "BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB BITCH WITH NO UNDERSTANDING OF RADIO, that's why!"

    Bah! Her radio works fine. And you're calling HER dumb?

  • (cs)

    Maybe if he bought her a ceramic coffee mug...

  • eric bloedow (unregistered)

    reminds me of a story of a crazy woman who kept demanding a better laptop, claiming that she couldn't do her job with the one she had-but when they turned it on to check, an auto-update started installing month-old updates, making it OBVIOUS that she hadn't even turned it on once for at least a month!

  • eric bloedow (unregistered)

    i just remember another story: a woman's computer kept breaking down, the techs kept coming over at scheduled times and fixing it, but couldn't find the cause of the problem...finally they came over without making an appointment and found the problem: she had lots of decorative MAGNETS stuck on the side of the computer! why didn't they see that before? because she kept removing them before the appointment times and putting them back on after the techs left!

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