• my name (unregistered)

    java javascript , po - tay -to po -tah -to

  • (nodebb)

    God save us from the eager morons.

  • (nodebb)

    Ah yes the dumbass php "developer" who knows nothing else. Burt is an idiot.

  • (nodebb)

    Ah, yes, one of those guys who's "learned to code", but isn't, as a result, actually a programmer. The point being that to write programs, as opposed to just code, you need a programmer, not a coder.

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    In his last life, Bert was the recruiter who kept saying "Java is the same thing as Javascript, right?"

  • Robin (unregistered)

    I thought this was going to be about the vendor's API having rate limiting and the application Bert was writing spamming it all the time. Turns out Bert is just an idiot who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a computer. Entertaining nonetheless :)

  • Tom (unregistered)

    Java, so like, I can embed it into the front-end of my page?

    I initially thought Bert was referring to Java applets. But he was probably confusing Java with Javascript...

  • MaxiTB (unregistered)

    Java - JavaScript, all the same. WRONG ! JavaScript is actually standardized via ECMA.

    Thinking about it, I guess Java is the only non-standardized programming language with a significant wide-spread use. What's up with that? Oh right, proprietary and also a bit of a mess, so I see the confusion with PHP :-)

  • Brian Boorman (unregistered)
    "You shouldn't release what is essentially pseudocode and then tell people you've fixed their problems!"

    "Um, no, you idiot. I released code that solved my problem so that others could use it as an example to solve their own problems. Everyone else has used my code successfully - only you seem to have any problems with it. BTW - I CC'ed your boss so he know what an idiot you are - because you a) are obviously a bad programmer, and b) blame others for your mess"

    -What Lisa really wanted to say.

  • Prime Mover (unregistered) in reply to MaxiTB

    I was delighted with Java when I was first introduced to it. Then Java 4 came along and I adjusted my paradigms accordingly. Then Java 5 came along, and I dutifully learned those new paradigms as well (although we had some apps we couldn't migrate forward because of 3rd party library compatibility issues), and then I muddled through the far-too-frequent upgrades to Java 6, erm sorry, 7 and 8, and by that time I'd lost track of what workrounds and bodges were needed to get the thing to install, and then I think soon after that I moved into a position where I don't need to use it any more.

    Shame what happened to it, because I genuinely thought it had potential.

    I don't have a dog in that fight any more, I went back to getting paid mightily to maintain Fortran.

  • (nodebb)

    This ^^^. All of this ^^^.

    The only thing that could make this story better is if Bert tried to copypasta Lisa's Java code and then complain to her the COBOL compiler won't touch it... I mean... ERP and all...

  • (nodebb)

    Hey, assuming this part of the story is original, at least give Bert what little credit he deserves.

    Realizing that putting credentials in the HTML or JS where end-users could find them is not something I would count on from someone who doesn't know java is different from javascript.

  • tbo (unregistered) in reply to Steve_The_Cynic

    Those are the same thing in my book.

  • (nodebb) in reply to tbo

    OK, but why does "coder" concentrate on the least important part of the job?

  • Entropy (unregistered)

    Thinking about it, I guess Java is the only non-standardized programming language with a significant wide-spread use.

    Um, what? Of the top 10 languages in the TIOBE index, I'm only aware of 4 with specifications from independent standards bodies: C, C++ (ISO), Javascript and C# (ECMA). If you're just talking about formal specifications rather than standards bodies, Java does have that (see https://docs.oracle.com/javase/specs/).

  • Entropy (unregistered) in reply to Entropy

    I missed out SQL (which I think has an ANSI standard), but on the other hand I don't consider it a general-purpose programming language.

  • (nodebb) in reply to Entropy

    That didn't stop my predecessor's abuse of cursors to attempt to make it one.

  • (nodebb) in reply to tbo

    And you are wrong.

  • (nodebb) in reply to Entropy

    It's not a general purpose programming language. It's a domain specific language.

  • (nodebb) in reply to MaxiTB


    Addendum 2022-02-08 17:41: (reply to "I guess Java is the only non-standardized programming language with a significant wide-spread use.").

  • balresearch (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Yazeran (unregistered) in reply to Entropy

    Well according to Stack overflow, SQL IS turing complete. But in the name of god, let this fact be buried forever so noone actually tries anything like:

    Create the mandelbroot set: https://wiki.postgresql.org/wiki/Mandelbrot_set Implement a BrainFuck interpreter: https://github.com/PopovMP/BrainFuck-SQL

    Oh the horror. My eyes, I need to make them forget ever seeing that....


    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer.

  • JustADBA (unregistered) in reply to Yazeran

    SQL programmers feel the same level of horror when C#/Java guys try to write queries. ;)

  • Barf4Eva (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • Gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to Andrew

    You mean Bert, the PHP developer died, then he came back as a recruiter, and did another awful job, and when he died again, someone above has mercy with the world and decided this was his last life?

  • Gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to Prime Mover

    Swift had a similar problem with lots of changes, except the gui had a tool that would change your code according to language changes (as long as the code compiled on the previous version).

  • Gnasher729 (unregistered) in reply to dkf

    “Just enough knowledge to be dangerous”.

  • Sam Younon (unregistered)

    The saddest part of all this is left out: Bert still doesn't know why Lisa's Java code didn't work in his PHP, but now he's been promoted to management.

  • Rahul Kumar (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • nasch (unregistered) in reply to CodeJunkie

    SQL is not a domain specific language; it applies to all domains.

  • xtrenlabs (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • (nodebb)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • (nodebb)
    Comment held for moderation.

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