• QJo (unregistered) in reply to golddog
    golddog:
    Speaking of the BBC, Top Gear rules. How can I get a job like that?

    I believe you generally have to start by getting a degree from Oxford or Cambridge, and be active in various artistic and dramatic clubs and societies.

  • Tonsil (unregistered) in reply to da Doctah
    da Doctah:
    QJo:
    In the UK we're allowed to call coffee without milk/cream "black coffee" and coffee with milk/cream "white coffee". In fact, substances which can be added to coffee to turn them from "black coffee" into "white coffee" are called "whiteners". I sometimes forget that the US has a completely different set of cultural imperatives, and it can be disconcerting to go into an outlet of an American coffee chain (in the UK), ask for "black coffee" and be asked whether I want milk or cream with it.

    In some parts of the US (not my part, but others) coffee with cream or the synthetic equivalent is called "regular". Maybe that's the problem.

    In my part of the US (Maryland) "black coffee" is coffee with nothing in it. "regular coffee" is coffee that isn't decaffeinated. I'd be willing to bet the employee asking if the black coffee should have cream was just stupid / inattentive rather than it being a language issue. It's like when I order food to go, and then I'm asked, "Would you like that here or to go?".

  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to SmartArse
    Maybe they're putting you up in the security room? I watch enough telly to know all security tapes are Black and White.
    Yeah, and even if they're black and white, you can just click on the "enhance color and resolution" and it'll be able to show you a color license plate from a webcam 1/4 mile away.

    Don't we all love crime docufiction?

    --Joe

  • Joe (unregistered) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    In the UK we're allowed to call coffee without milk/cream "black coffee" and coffee with milk/cream "white coffee". In fact, substances which can be added to coffee to turn them from "black coffee" into "white coffee" are called "whiteners". I sometimes forget that the US has a completely different set of cultural imperatives, and it can be disconcerting to go into an outlet of an American coffee chain (in the UK), ask for "black coffee" and be asked whether I want milk or cream with it.

    The stuff that turns black coffee into white coffee is often referred to as "Creamer". However, truth-in-advertising means that they should only be called that if there is actual cream somewhere in its manufacturing process.

    Hence, "Non-Dairy Coffee Whitener".

    @ork, we had "Wholesome Farms(TM) Non-Dairy Coffee Whitener" for a while (until the budget ran out and now we have the unlabeled blue canisters).

    --Joe

  • (cs)

    It should be pretty straightforward to write a program that iterates through all possible SMTP-conformant Internet email addresses, and try to send a message to each of them in turn (estimating just how many that is, and thus how long after the death of the universe it would take the program to complete, is left as an exercise for the obsessive and detail-oriented reader).

    The tricky part will be using IP geolocation or some other means to restrict the recipients to only those on this planet, as per the requirements, excluding those on other planets or the International Space Station.

  • chris (unregistered) in reply to Dzov
    Dzov:
    Wouldn't that change the pronunciation to something like Col-hours? Granted, they talk funny over there, but really?
    British English has even more exceptions to the rules than other dialects, especially with old Anglo-Norman words where we've kept the spelling regardless of the pronunciation.
  • (cs) in reply to Joe
    Joe:
    QJo:
    In the UK we're allowed to call coffee without milk/cream "black coffee" and coffee with milk/cream "white coffee". In fact, substances which can be added to coffee to turn them from "black coffee" into "white coffee" are called "whiteners". I sometimes forget that the US has a completely different set of cultural imperatives, and it can be disconcerting to go into an outlet of an American coffee chain (in the UK), ask for "black coffee" and be asked whether I want milk or cream with it.

    The stuff that turns black coffee into white coffee is often referred to as "Creamer". However, truth-in-advertising means that they should only be called that if there is actual cream somewhere in its manufacturing process.

    Hence, "Non-Dairy Coffee Whitener".

    @ork, we had "Wholesome Farms(TM) Non-Dairy Coffee Whitener" for a while (until the budget ran out and now we have the unlabeled blue canisters).

    --Joe

    Did that stuff come from the same place as those "healthy" cookies from last Friday?

  • EmperorOfCanada (unregistered)

    On the subject of retail; it was around 1988 and I was selling TVs. A guy comes in with his kid and is looking at a huge unit. Well over $1000 (probably 30 some inches) and I have him sold on all that picture in a picture crap when his kid pipes up and asks if it is HD. I say no, I don't think that there is an HD TV in existence and that they haven't agreed on a standard and that it wouldn't matter as it will be at least a decade before the local cable company would ever upgrade even if the standard were agreed upon that day. The little asshat cost me that sale as they marched off in search of an HD TV. I should have just said it was HD and that I couldn't wait until it came next year.

  • (cs) in reply to EmperorOfCanada
    EmperorOfCanada:
    On the subject of retail; it was around 1988 and I was selling TVs. A guy comes in with his kid and is looking at a huge unit. Well over $1000 (probably 30 some inches) and I have him sold on all that picture in a picture crap when his kid pipes up and asks if it is HD. I say no, I don't think that there is an HD TV in existence and that they haven't agreed on a standard and that it wouldn't matter as it will be at least a decade before the local cable company would ever upgrade even if the standard were agreed upon that day. The little asshat cost me that sale as they marched off in search of an HD TV. I should have just said it was HD and that I couldn't wait until it came next year.

    All very well till the guy comes back waving the documentation complaining that the TV you sold him that you assured him was HD isn't. That costs you more than the sale, that costs you your job.

  • moz (unregistered) in reply to David
    David:
    Actually, the BBC has just as much advertising as all the other channels (at least between programmes, they don't yet split programs with advert breaks). The difference is that they are only allowed to advertise their own products and not anybody elses.
    They have substantially less. That's why a US import designed for a half hour slot typically lasts half an hour on E4, but only 20-25 minutes on BBC3.
    David:
    Also, if this story is from the UK then TRWTF is the shop assistant as the basic BBC channels (1 and 2) are available through all mediums, as long as it's plugged into an aerial of some descrption.
    "Will it pick up BBC2?" would (like the colour question) have been a reasonable question to ask when the customer was a child, but "Does it have BBC?" is just weird.

    I don't know if it would have been a more reasonable question in the Irish Republic, though.

  • lizardb0y (unregistered) in reply to da Doctah
    da Doctah:
    I don't have Colors. Fail the Ishihara test every time.

    You don't see colours at all? I've never met a monochromat. I'm protanopic myself.

    An aside; you don't "fail" the Ishihara test unless it comes out inconclusive. It is a test for colour blindness (or not) so i f you actually get a result that's a successful test.

  • lizardb0y (unregistered) in reply to da Doctah
    da Doctah:
    I don't have Colors. Fail the Ishihara test every time.

    You don't see colours at all? I've never met a monochromat. I'm protanopic myself.

    An aside; you don't "fail" the Ishihara test unless it comes out inconclusive. It is a test for colour blindness (or not) so i f you actually get a result that's a successful test.

  • Richard Schlueter (unregistered)

    When I was young, TVs came with no operating manuals. Of course people from that era were much smarter than most today. We sent a man to the moon using a slide rule. No people need a GPS to getto the grocery store. But I digress. Now with all the complicated features, a manual is required, no doubt. I have an idea. Something else for the cute check out girl to say as you pay for your 42 inch Sony. They all ask if you want an extended warranty, which I am sure brings in lots of money. Take it one step further. Add this question, “Sir, you do know that the operating manual is thicker than a Bible.” She stops and looks at the customer’s face. A dumb look is the sign to continue. “You can stick with you extended warranty or for only another hundred dollars, we will have a technical person load this in your car, follow you home and set it up for you. He’ll bring donuts.” And do not forget to wave an extra thick manual in his face written in Chinese.

  • Calvin (unregistered) in reply to Muzer

    [quote user="Muzer"]Britain was a VERY early adopter of widescreen.

    So yeah, widescreen CRT in 2000 is not unlikely."

    Not unlikely at all - we still have a 100Hz 34" Widescreen CRT from 1998 working well

    Although, how an 'old man' could carry it is beyond me. Ours is about 85kg (190lb). Definitely a two person job, unless you are Geoff Capes, or want to crush your vertebrae. I suppose 32" were a bit lighter.

  • Keith Stone (unregistered)

    If you take off search filtering in Google and type in BBC, you'll see what the customer actually wanted to see in color.

    Always smooth,

    ~Keith Stone

  • csrster (unregistered) in reply to foo
    foo:
    Steve The Cynic:
    Rich D:
    In England, you need a license to watch TV, and it is usually purchased along with the TV. So the buyer was probably very confused in the US, as normally, he would have paid for his BBC in advance.
    The TV Licence applies to the whole of the UK, not just to England.

    The licence is not a licence to watch TV. It is a licence to receive broadcast TV signals by any means, including by cable, and even if you don't watch them. If you use your TV exclusively to watch pre-recorded media, e.g. you connect it only to your DVD player, you don't need a TV Licence. If you do this, however, you should expect to receive strongly-worded letters and/or visits from TV Licencing until you buy a licence.

    Call yourselves lucky. In Germany you need a license even then. Even if you only have an analogue TV set and live in an area where analogue transmission has stopped. As long as your device has the capability to receive something, you need a license. In fact, there are businesses who will remove the receiver from the device ...

    But fortunately this kind of thing will stop -- they plan to change it to a tax that everyone has to pay, TV or not ...

    In Denmark you need a license if you have an internet-capable PC. Srsly.

  • (cs) in reply to PRMan
    PRMan:
    I worked in support and once had a worker complaining that her terminal was typing in weird characters and jumping around randomly. I asked her if she had any reason to believe her keyboard was malfunctioning. She said, "No." I picked up the keyboard and half a cup of coffee poured out all over her desk (I know I shouldn't have been happy that it ruined a student's application, but I kind of was). I said, "Why didn't you just tell me you accidentally spilled coffee in it? We have extra terminals and keyboards. It's no problem." No, instead I had coffee stains on my shirt and pants the rest of the day.

    Something I've learned working in IT support is that the end users always lie. They also generally have no respect for you and probably don't even consider you to be practicing a profession. This is why they call you "computer guy" while getting offended if you call them "law girl" even though they are a lawyer. Even my plumber gets offended at "pipe guy". Yet, none of these people understand why "computer guy" might be offensive.

  • (cs) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    Barrista:
    Davie:
    I the mid 80s I was working field support on Texas Instrument Buisness System. The systems had field replacable keyboard electronics. Being that this one customer was under a maintance contract I had to be sure problems were not from abuse. When using this one terminal the user could not depend on the key that was pressed was going to be the smae character that appeared on the screen. After going through the usual questions to find out when the problem started, no one knew anything about it. So I filpped the keyboard over to disassemble the bezel then filpped it backto install the electronics. Now there is a puddle of coffe on the desk where the KB was laying. Now I had to be a detective an find out who drank coffee with cream and no sugar.
    Customer: "I'll have a coffee, no cream" Shop Assistant: "I'm sorry, we don't have cream" Customer: "You'd better make it no milk, then"

    In the UK we're allowed to call coffee without milk/cream "black coffee" and coffee with milk/cream "white coffee". In fact, substances which can be added to coffee to turn them from "black coffee" into "white coffee" are called "whiteners". I sometimes forget that the US has a completely different set of cultural imperatives, and it can be disconcerting to go into an outlet of an American coffee chain (in the UK), ask for "black coffee" and be asked whether I want milk or cream with it.

    Hmm. I live in the US, and I've never been asked that when ordering black coffee. That is understood over here to mean without any additives color changing or otherwise.

    Funny joke you quoted.

  • (cs) in reply to RandomUser423709
    RandomUser423709:
    Bloer:
    simon:
    Yeah, -t is older than -ed. Everybody spells... [snip/] ...just standardised differently. Americans have to remember what's -ize and what's -ise so I don't envy them.
    Just as I was getting used to Color, I found technologies (I think wxWidgets is one) that use Colour....

    The 'or' vs 'our' has gotten to the point I don't notice, but the 'ise' vs 'ize' stuff kills me - as does the creation of new words that we have meanings for by adding 'ize' (I've heard (even in Australian media) stories about people being 'Burglarized' - I'm sure they mean 'Burgled').[snip/]

    In my experience, in my region (upper-Midwest USA), "burgled" and "burglarized" are synonyms, with "burgled" gradually becoming archaic. There is, however, a difference in connotation: "burgled" seems more often associated with the burglar, while "burglarized" seems more often associated with the victim.

    Reading your post made me think of the Hamburgler at McD's.

  • (cs) in reply to QJo
    QJo:
    I suffer a certain level of red-green blindness in that I sometimes mistake them for brown. However, I went into a fairly successful career in electronics, but then I live in the UK and such disqualificationary rules do not apply. I remember that my interviewer handed me a bunch of 100 or so colour-coded wires to decode, and I only got one wrong, so no worries there. I handle the disability by gleaning clues from the lightness.

    I have had smug comments to the effect that I shouldn't be allowed to drive at night (can't tell what colour the traffic lights are, is the idea), and such like, from ignorant people who don't understand the nature of the condition.

    I'm slightly colour-blind, folks - this does not automatically mean I'm mentally impaired.

    I think the people making those statements to you don't actually realize you can parse a stop light without perceiving the color so long as you can perceive the light. Dunning-Kruger in action. They're not implying that you're mentally impaired. They don't realize the extent of their mental impairment.

  • (cs) in reply to Eric
    Eric:
    Being color blind would disqualify you from being in electronics repair (and related fields). You would be required to read the color codes on the resistors.

    I remember my dad was going to school for TV and electronics when I was a young pup. He came home one day and announced we was out of school because he couldn't read the color codes.

    I don't think anyone still reads resistor color codes. What for? I never read them and consider the skill useless.

    Addendum (2011-09-29 14:09): Let me elaborate: color codes are used on 1/8W through hole resistors and on some obsolete capacitors. Those parts are on their way out, and not typically used for new designs, other than entry-level kits. If you want something semi-repairable by kludges, you use 1206 surface mount parts, where the size of the part is roughly the size of 1/8W though hole resistor's body (much thinner, though). Surface mount resistors have value printed on them in numerals. Ceramic surface mount capacitors don't have any markings at all.

    So, if you work with surface-mount stuff, you need a tweezer-type component identificator anyway (known also as LCR Smart Tweezers). If you work with through hole components, you need an LCR multimeter with leads. That's about it. I would gladly file a discrimination suit against an employer who requires color vision with a sole explanation that you need it for resistor color bands. And I'd think I'd be likely to win it, too.

  • Ian (unregistered)

    I've never found ants in a keyboard, but I once found a mouse (well, pieces of a mouse) in a 5 1/4" floppy drive (the old full-height models where the drive door opened a 1 1/2" square opening). Put on latex gloves, remove mouse parts with tweezers, clean R/W heads: Problem Solved!

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to Rootbeer
    Rootbeer:
    It should be pretty straightforward to write a program that iterates through all possible SMTP-conformant Internet email addresses

    No DB mining of an existing list for familiar patterns? No neural net and machine learning taking feedback from bounced addresses to ascertain improbable patterns?

    Oh yea, they did want it done for a couple hundred bucks... but if you were going to create a real product...

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