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Admin
Dear DailyWTF staff-- we continue to come here in spite of the creative embellishments, not because of them.
Admin
Because if I "own" a problem, I am now responsible for it. I have taken on considerable amounts of risk, because if the problem does not get fixed, then I could have severely limited my possibilities for career advancement or even get fired. Even if I do fix it, the problem is associated with me, and so people might think I am the cause. And for all of this extra risk, for all of the extra stress this problem causes me, there is generally very, very little reward, if any. Making it "go away" might not bring me any direct benefits, but it also doesn't bring me any additional risk.
Admin
How many times did people complain that the article was boring and had no WTF, though?
Dear readers: submit stories where we don't have to make up our own WTFs for them to actually contain any, and we'll see what we can do.
Admin
Well...
Like a ninja in the night, Hanz M., AKA Hanzo, stalks across Hesse University’s Dresden campus. The go-to man in the IT department, he fixes the messes that others leave behind. These are his stories.
Hanzo stalked across the campus, The Book of Five Rings under his arm, ready to be quoted at a moment's notice, when his phone rang. It was the Dean of Unbekanntenort University, asking him to install a new forum system for the faculty to use.
“From one thing, know ten thousand things”, Hanzo muttered. "What software is this that I must install?"
"It's something new. Discourse. We need it by Thursday. Can you do it?"
Hanzo nearly dropped his phone. "To hell with that", he replied, his accent suddenly forgotten, "I'm out of here. Send someone with my final paycheque to Toledo. I'll be sleeping on the bar at a dive near the edge of town."
Admin
I was once given some advice ( in a non-commercial environment): Don't be insubordinate and refuse a task, accept it and carry it out so incompetently that you don't get asked to do it again.
It is something that, if used well, will get you out of many domestic chores. Adopting the practice commercially will cause you to be considered deadwood and will be removed the next time there is fear of the tree toppling over.
But you do have a point: Don't burden yourself with unnecessary / unwinnable responsibility. Which gives play to another piece of advice I was given - pick the battles you can win.
However, if my Project is held up by one of my dependencies, especially if it is a choke point: Then I will be all over whoever is responsible (think of a steel fist in a velvet glove). Obviously the smaller the team / company, the more the risk than an individual failure could be catastrophic. It's all very well polishing the old CV, But you need to have a good reason for moving on, and trashing former employees / bosses / policies, however justified, is never a good reason (see "Tales from the Interview" etc).
Unless, of course, you are a HPC type and then it becomes par for the course.
Admin
Unless you're me -- who finds more gold in Judge Tallman's invocation of the tooth fairy in the middle of an appellate oral argument than they could in most any TV-judge's lines.
Admin
Also maybe a sign would help avoid skinprints:
[image]Admin
Re: [arse] skinprints [on work place doors]
Please (somebody) tell me that this is a missprint [Oh My God - I was going to say "pun intended" when I realised it could be read as Miss Print, which would seriously alter the tone of my reply to something I could live with].
Anyway: "skin" implies "bare" and the thought of being surrounded by bare arsed work colleagues .........shudder
Admin
I rather enjoy some of the reactions I get. Maybe it's just the troll in me. However, I will say that those who complain about my articles are notoriously bad at picking out what's real and what's an embellishment (if any), and because of that I really don't want to share the original. It would be like revealing my poker hand when I don't have to.
I think the embellishments in this one should be blindingly obvious, and I did not alter the core WTFs at all so the original submission is the same story with duller dialogue.
Admin
EDITED:
Discourse put a still pic first try, froze the second try, took it finally on the third try.
Admin
You really need to make it animated GIF.
Admin
When he was asked whether his tool works with the hardware, he should have answered "no".
By this way the internal tool that's not designed for customer won't leak to public, and the software team can hopefully get the manpower they needed.
Admin
Done. See above for edits.
Admin
Admin
Not ham. Spam! Spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, spam, eggs, spam and spam.
Admin
Not Spam. SPAM! SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, bacon, SPAM, SPAM, eggs, SPAM and SPAM.
Admin
Sadly, as the general public knows nothing about computers, but thinks it does, you might not have a very big target audience. Hollywood gives the public the public's idea of big computers. (They also recycle the public's idea of history, with equally dire results.)
Admin
Fortunately, they also provide the public's idea of geography so we're safe as long as we're somewhere with reality in the vicinity…
Admin
Admin
I mean look at the bones man!
Admin
Like sex. <this joke works on multiple levels!
:rimshot:
Admin
I hate to explain the joke, so I won't.
Admin
What, like sex being used well, or sex being considered a domestic chore?
Admin
Like you won't get any and maybe it's a chore anyways so bonus!
Admin
Doing It Wrong™.
Admin
Getting too old for this shit, eh?
Filed under: close your eyes and think of England
Admin
http://share.gifyoutube.com/yAO0ax.gif
Admin
Admin
@Onyx is that you?
Admin
Ew. Please stop telling us details about your sex life.
Admin
Ahaha sounds similar to something that happened where I work recently.
Ship large product in a "unfinished" state for mechanical/promotional purposes because software was falling behind and much more operational testing was needed.
Sales guys start having customers try to use said product in fucking production systems when they were told not to.
Shitstorm when they try and use the communication bus and surprise, it doesn't return valid data.
Queue bitchfest by management who were warned multiple times that it wasn't done when we shipped them originally and they had agreed they would be just for promoting.
WE NEED THIS SALE GUYS!!! SHIP IT ANYWAY!!!
SIGH.
Admin
Repeatedly warn management that documentation is incomplete Management says it will be fixed Repeatedly warn management that an important part of the code needs major attention Management says it will be fixed Repeatedly warn management that we are still waiting for localisation for XXX language .... Customer in XXX in exotic location requires demo install Management decides that this is the time for it to go and impress the customer, taking along new hire with recent CS degree as minion, because how hard can it be? .... Management returns from exotic location spitting blood and announcing "this software is not fit for purpose!". Management has not read (incomplete) documentation. Management had not noticed that customer was sold on important part of code that needs fixing. XXX IT department not fluent in English. .... Management decides to fix problem by sidelining lead developer and appointing ex-salesman to manage the development. .... Repeat until roasted, or bank pulls plug.
Admin
Admin
Cue. CUE! A Queue is for waiting. A Cue is for starting.
Why do so many people screw that up?
Admin
Well, they're probably confused because a bitchfest here in TRWTF generally looks like a queue.
Admin
No-one complains because it's fictionalized just enough.
Admin
The key is to pretend you did your best. And it's extremely useful in domestic environment.
Admin
I have a few colleagues of the opposite gender I wouldn't mind seeing bare-arsed.
<Fuck you toaster. I do what I want.
Admin
I had a strong déjà vu feeling while reading the story. I'm not quite sure where I've read it before but I remember the original story. Might be the old CS sidebar. Anyway I can confirm nothing of essence was changed.
Admin
Using the wrong phonetic alphabet?:
Admin
It wasn't Sierra Leone or Guinea was it?
Admin
I should have thought of that possible ambiguity. No, think warm, sunny, lots of women in small bikinis, management stuck in IT department realising that it really doesn't understand IP subnets and the people around don't understand English. [also, did not realise that CS != IT]
Admin
Pronunciation: jAn -go
... ah.... [image]
(i am slightly embarassed that it took me to
Dto notice but still)Admin
But it was a queue of bitching. There's the Project Manager, then the VP of engineering then the CEO as the stupid escalated.
Admin
My kids love this song (so do I):
https://youtu.be/_dvPhtNZCj0
Admin
Stop trying to be queuete.
Admin
Even if you really intended to use queue it's still wrong, because that's a noun, and you need a verb in that context. Enqueue bitchfest.