I saw my doctor this week and he told me I needed to go on a new diet. So here you go: all natural, no snark added.

Overachiever Bill T. reflected on his life achievements:
"I had to fill out demographic information - but is this really a cognitive test in disguise? Find your level of education!"

cogtest

 

"Is this even legal??" exclaims Julien M-A.
"I knew big tech had no conscience and also that you can buy anything on Amazon, but really I did not expect it to sink to these depths. But my real question is what search algorithm matched this result in response to a query on funding from the French Ministry of International Affairs."
Even the disfrancophonic readers can probably guess that "a petits prix" is translated "at low prices".

vrai

 

Virgin Pulser Jeff A. quavers "I’m afraid to open the app; I don’t have time to complete 1.3 Billion cards."

pulse

 

"I'm sensing some repressed rage," empathizes cheese fan Cong. "Perhaps they're not really thankful for my custom?"

confirm

 

Eagle-eyed Bruce C. went the distance to get more data displayed. Disappointed, he comments "Not only did they decide not to have scrolling, they actually don't show more years on larger screens. This was captured on a 4k monitor - no extra years displayed."

snowfall