Do you know what I had forgotten until this morning? That VBScript (and thus, older versions of Visual Basic) don't require you to use parentheses when calling a function. Foo 5 and Foo(5) are the same thing.

Of course, why would I remember that? I thankfully haven't touched any of those languages since about… 2012. Which is actually a horrifyingly short time ago, back when I supported classic ASP web apps. Even when I did, I always used parentheses because I wanted my code to be something close to readable.

Classic ASP, there's a WTF for you. All the joy of the way PHP mixes markup and code into a single document, but with an arguably worse and weirder language.

Which finally, brings us to Josh's code. Josh worked for a traveling exhibition company, and that company had an entirely homebrewed CMS written in classic ASP. Here's a few hundred lines out of their navigation menu.

  <ul class=menuMain>
        <%  if menu = "1" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/home.asp' title='Home'>Home</a></li>"
            else
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/home.asp' title='Home'>Home</a></li>"
            end if
            if  menu = "2" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_homepage.asp' title='About World Challenge'>About us</a></li>"
            else
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_homepage.asp' title='About World Challenge'>About us</a></li>"
            end if
            if  menu = "3" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/book-a-school-expedition.asp' title='How to book'>How to book</a></li>"
            else
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/book-a-school-expedition.asp' title='How to book'>How to book</a></li>"
            end if
            if  menu = "4" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/expeditions_home.asp' title='Expeditions'>Expeditions</a></li>"
            else
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/expeditions_home.asp' title='Expeditions'>Expeditions</a></li>"
            end if 
            if  menu = "5" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safety_home.asp' title='Safety'>Safety</a></li>"
            else 
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safety_home.asp' title='Safety'>Safety</a></li>"
            end if 
            if  menu = "6" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/mm_what_is_mm.asp' title='Fundraising support'>Fundraising</a></li>"
            else 
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/mm_what_is_mm.asp' title='Fundraising support'>Fundraising</a></li>"
            end if 
            if  menu = "7" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/careers_home.asp' title='Work for us'>Work for us</a></li>"
            else
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/careers_home.asp' title='Work for us'>Work for us</a></li>"
            end if          
            if  menu = "8" then
                Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/contact_us_home.asp' title='Contact us'>Contact us</a></li>"
            else 
                Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/contact_us_home.asp' title='Contact us'>Contact us</a></li>"
            end if
        Response.Write "</ul>"
        Response.Write "<ul class='menuSub'>"
               if menu = "1" then
               end if
 
               if menu = "2" then   
                   if submenu = "1" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_who_we_are.asp'  title='Who we are'>Who we are</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_who_we_are.asp'title='Who we are'>Who we are</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "2" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/world_challenge_CSR.asp' title='CSR'>CSR</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/world_challenge_CSR.asp' title='CSR'>CSR</a></li>"
                   end if
 
                   if submenu = "3" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/World-Challenge-Accreditation.asp' title='Partners and accreditation'>Partners and accreditation</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/World-Challenge-Accreditation.asp' title='Partners and accreditation'>Partners and accreditation</a></li>"
                   end if
 
                   if submenu = "4" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/curriculum-links.asp' title='Curriculum links'>Curriculum links</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/curriculum-links.asp' title='Curriculum links'>Curriculum links</a></li>"
                   end if
 
                   if submenu = "5" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/expedition_advice.asp' title='Expedition advice'>Expedition advice</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/expedition_advice.asp' title='Expedition advice'>Expedition advice</a></li>"
                   end if                   
                   if submenu = "6" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_press_and_publications.asp' title='Press resources'>Press resources</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_press_and_publications.asp' title='Press resources'>Press resources</a></li>"
                   end if   
               end if
 
               if menu = "3" then
               Response.Write "<li></li>"
               end if
 
               if menu = "4" then
                   if submenu = "1" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_ca.asp' title='Central & North America'>Central and North America</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_ca.asp'  title='Central and North America'>Central and North America</a></li>"
                   end if   
                   if submenu = "2" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_sa.asp' title='South America'>South America</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_sa.asp'  title='South America'>South America</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "3" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_sea.asp' title='South East Asia'>South East Asia</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_sea.asp' title='South East Asia'>South East Asia</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "4" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_asia.asp' title='Asia'>Asia</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_asia.asp' title='Asia'>Asia</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "5" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_africa.asp' title='Africa'>Africa</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_lh_dest_africa.asp' title='Africa'>Africa</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "6" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/europe_school_expeditions.asp' title='Europe'>Europe</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/europe_school_expeditions.asp' title='Europe'>Europe</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "7" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/community-projects.asp' title='Community projects'>Community projects</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/community-projects.asp' title='Community projects'>Community projects</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "8" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/exped_indiv_home.asp' title='Independent'>Independent</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/exped_indiv_home.asp' title='Independent'>Independent</a></li>"
                   end if
               end if
 
               if menu = "5" then
                   if submenu = "1" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safe-people.asp' title='Safe People'>Safe people</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safe-people.asp' title='Safe People'>Safe people</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "2" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safe-place.asp' title='Safe places'>Safe places</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safe-place.asp' title='Safe places'>Safe places</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "3" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safe-policies-practises.asp' title='Safe practices and policies'>Safe practices and policies</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safe-policies-practises.asp' title='Safe practices and policies'>Safe practices and policies</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "4" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safe-resources.asp' title='Safe Resources'>Safe resources</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safe-resources.asp' title='Safe Resources'>Safe resources</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "5" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/safety_ops_centre.asp'  title='Operations Centre'>Operations Centre</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/safety_ops_centre.asp' title='Operations Centre'>Operations Centre</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "6" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/travel_safety_course.asp' title='Travelsafe course'>Travelsafe course</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/travel_safety_course.asp'  title='Travelsafe course'>Travelsafe course</a></li>"
                   end if
               end if  
            
               if menu = "6" then
 
'                  if submenu = "1" then   
'                   Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/fundraising-team.asp' title='Fundraising team'>Fundraising team</a></li>"
'                  else   
'                   Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/fundraising-team.asp'  title='Fundraising team'>Fundraising team</a></li>"
'                  end if   
 
                   if submenu = "2" then   
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/mm_ideas.asp' title='Fundraising ideas'>Fundraising ideas</a></li>"
                   else   
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/mm_ideas.asp'  title='Fundraising ideas'>Fundraising ideas</a></li>"
                   end if                   
                   if submenu = "3" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_events_challenger_events.asp'  title='Fundraising events'>Fundraising events</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_events_challenger_events.asp' title='Fundraising events'>Fundraising events</a></li>"
                   end if                   
               end if
 
               if menu = "7" then
                   if submenu = "1" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/careers_leader_ops_overseas.asp' title='Lead an expedition'>Lead an expedition</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/careers_leader_ops_overseas.asp'  title='Lead an expedition'>Lead an expedition</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "2" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/permanent_jobs_world_challenge.asp'  title='Office based positions'>Office based positions</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/permanent_jobs_world_challenge.asp' title='Office based positions'>Office based positions</a></li>"
                   end if
               end if
 
               if menu = "8" then
                   if submenu = "1" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/pages/forms-brochure.asp'  title='Request a brochure'>Request a brochure</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/pages/forms-brochure.asp'  title='Request a brochure'>Request a brochure</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "2" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a rel='external' href='http://f.chtah.com/s/3/2069554126/signup.html'  title='Sign up for e-news'>Sign up for e-news</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a rel='external' href='http://f.chtah.com/s/3/2069554126/signup.html'  title='Sign up for e-news'>Sign up for e-news</a></li>"
                   end if
                   if submenu = "3" then
                    Response.Write "<li class='activ'><b></b><i></i><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_press_and_publications.asp'  title='Press resources'>Press resources</a></li>"
                   else
                    Response.Write "<li><a href='/expeditions/about_wc_press_and_publications.asp'  title='Press resources'>Press resources</a></li>"
                   end if
               end if %>
                  </ul>

This renders the whole menu, but based on the selected menu and submenu, it adds an activ class to the HTML elements. Which means that each HTML element is defined here twice, once with and without the CSS class on it. I know folks like to talk about dry code, but this code is SOGGY with repetition. Just absolutely dripping wet with the same thing multiple times. Moist.

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