Erik Gern

Writer, web developer, and professional goofball

Feb 2013

A CSV is as Good as RAM, Right?

by in CodeSOD on

Matt had heard the argument before. "Scientists can write code just as well as CS majors," his new supervisor at the research laboratory was saying. "As long as the language is mature, Turing-complete, and well-documented."

"Like MATLAB," Matt said.


Internet.toLowerCase

by in CodeSOD on

Parsing HTML is no walk in the park. With the possibility of unclosed tags and mismatched quotation marks on any given page, it’s a veritable minefield of horrible hypertext. However, there are dozens of reliable libraries that a developer could use to do the heavy lifting.

But the heads of the project that Pedro worked on had chosen the worst library they could find.


Human Heat Sink

by in Feature Articles on

RadiatorAndrew nearly choked on his chicken noodle soup. "The research notes are due tonight?" He had been sick with a cold, out of the loop from the rest of the lab for a few days.

"That’s right," Dr. Steinbrenner, his lab mentor, said. "Look, do you want the explanation about the funding committee, the committee that formed the funding committee, the president flying to see his sick daughter--"