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“No EXECUTE-ions,” the whiteboard read. Doug always smiled at the note in the common space at Wolfram and Hart Software, but it had taken on a more sinister meaning lately.
“Use a stored procedure? No can do,” the DBA Joss said. “The codebase simply won’t support it. If your query requires anything other than SELECT, INSERT, UPDATE, OR DELETE, it fails.”
When not at the office at StartCo Ltd, AJ raises her two kids with her husband, who works at home. A few months ago she was working long hours on a migration to a new codebase, so she made up the lost sleep on the weekends. While her kids were placated with episodes of The Muppet Show on repeat, she would doze off on the couch.
One Saturday afternoon, with the two kids enraptured by “Pigs in Space,” she took her usual nap. A few minutes later, her youngest daughter urgently shook her awake. “Mommy, Mommy! Are you awake, Mommy?”
Feb 13