Recent Feature Articles

Jul 2008

That's Not Part of Our Testing

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It wasn't often that Marcus saw his boss Harry scrambling to reach the mute button on his phone, simultaneously erupting into convulsing laughter. Between gasps for breath, he heard Harry say "bestiality" only to start laughing even harder.

Marcus, Harry, and company had recently gotten a contract to do security analysis for a mid-sized document management firm that we'll call Initrode. Their primary contact was Brad — a well-intentioned but scatterbrained (read: borderline incompetent) employee. Marcus would be working on penetration testing for Initrode's network. So why was Harry laughing? Well, it all started earlier that day.


WTF-U's Typing Test

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How fast can you type? Probably pretty fast, if you're reading this site. If you're like me, 294 words per minute*. Honest! I just timed myself!
*294WPM is based on repeatedly typing the word "a" for a minute straight. I had 100% accuracy with the "a"s, but sometimes hit the spacebar twice by accident.

Not only can I type pretty fast, but most of the time I'm not even looking at the keybiurd or the screem! Same goes for James G., who had to pass a typing exam (or take a touch-typing class) during his first semester of college. As a geek, he wasn't worried. With all the typing that comes with being a programming major — hell, all the typing that comes with being a student, he had nothing to fear. And with his confidence he'd never even considered signing up for the touch-typing class (plus he'd already taken a touch-typing class way back in junior high). Wanting to get the it out of the way, he signed up for the first available time to take the test.


Sophisticated Cooling Apparatus

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If you've ever wondered what's behind those "Technical Difficulties... Please Stand By" messages that TV stations run all too often, an anonymous reader shares with us one reason: someone moved the fan.


Nepotism Trumps Interview

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Simon had a great job. Every day he was playing with cool hardware and software, he liked his colleagues, and the pay... well... OK, he was underpaid. Vastly underpaid. While his company made good on their promise to give him a raise once he got a C certification, it was an insulting two figures. Simon would've felt less insulted if they'd literally slapped him in the face (instead of figuratively). It didn't take him long to line up some interviews and get a job offer for a position that sounded just as interesting, with the added benefit of a reasonable level of compensation.

Once Simon made his intentions to leave clear, his boss started worrying — they needed someone to take over for Simon, and not having any spare staff, they had to hire someone quick. Simon's boss pulled him aside and asked him to draft a test with some basic questions to weed out the hacks.


Designed For Reliability

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Tandem Computers were all the rage in the mid-1980s, especially in the banking industry and other high-transaction environments. "While most computer systems have failure rates on the order of a few days," Tandem salespeople would often say, "our NonStop line of computers is designed to fail hundreds of times less. We measure our uptime in years." And they were right: Tandem delivered hardware solutions with virtually no downtime.

This was accomplished through Tandem's engineers' meticulous attention to detail: There was no single point of failure. Each NonStop server had at least two CPUs. Each one had its own memory, its own I/O bus and two connections-in case one failed-to an equally redundant multi-CPU bus that had its own redundant shared memory. Even the OS was specially crafted to allow in-memory changes without the need for a reboot. And naturally, the whole server was powered by two redundant power supplies-just in case. Sure, it was expensive, but it worked-Tandem managed to exceed the coveted Five Nines (99.999 percent) of uptime.


That Would've Been an Option Too

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Wilhelm isn't really much of a smiler. Nor was he much of a laugher. Nor a crier, scowler, or high-fiver. He seemed to only be capable of two emotions: "emotionless" or "asleep."

He's of the opinion that programming has gotten too easy in recent years, not like it was back in his day when programmers were programmers. A time before garbage collectors, transactions, protected memory, fancy IDEs with fancy integrated debuggers — nowadays developers have it too easy.


A Training Issue

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"Oh, hey, that's weird." One of Initrode Global Insurance's accountants spotted an error on a printout of the previous day's sales report during her daily review. She dug through her records and tried to isolate the small, but still troubling, discrepancy between the totals. After reading through several previous days' reports and asking around, she couldn't find anything that could've caused the error. She circled the incorrect number, wrote the correct total, and took it to her boss's office.

"Hey, that's weird," her boss said. After checking and rechecking, it was clear — this was a problem with the report generated by the big iron (an IBM mainframe). After making the rounds in accounting and then through IT, it was ultimately put on a low level programmer's desk for him to investigate.


CAN-(ACCIDENTALLY)-SPAM

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In early 2004, John was living it up in Argentina at a startup working on a VCI product. For those unfamiliar with Value Chain Integration, in layman's terms it synergizes backward overflow while optimizing cardinal grammeters in addition to allowing customers to parabolize slithy toves at the least embiggoned cost possible. The software's development was handled in Argentina, though there were offices around the globe. They were just starting to pull together a real, live QA team to replace the last QA team (one guy in one of the US offices). They were happily building their software, expanding the team, burning through their VC capital, and entertaining dreams of a huge IPO.

It didn't take long to assemble a full QA team — everyone was excited to work at a startup that was so full of potential. After some brief training, the new QA team was turned loose to do their worst to the in-development application. In a few days, the bug list had more than quadrupled in size. Developers cranked out fixes, and the testers found more bugs.


The Free Bird Database

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Back in 1919, Proffitt’s opened their first department store in downtown Maryville, TN. While it didn’t quite have the prestige of a big city department store like Saks Fifth Avenue, it certainly had the technology of one.

As customers entered the Proffitt’s store, an electronic switch on the door would send a signal to the management office, advancing a counter for real-time traffic numbers. Browsing through the various departments of goods, perceptive customers would have noticed that the over-sized price tags were actually Hollerith Cards, to be fed into tabulating machines for summarizing the day’s sales. Purchasing goods was snap, requiring nothing more than a few taps on the electronic cash register or simply a telephone call to the credit department through the intercom telephone system. And certainly, no one could miss the pneumatic tubes, zipping around documents from department to department.


Hastening an Inevitable

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Keeping hundreds of millions of sheets of paper on file isn't easy, so the IRS had an application built to computerize their records. It'd scan paper tax returns into a WORM (Write Once, Read Many) drive system and record lookup data in a database. That way they could filter by any fields they recorded in the database and access a scanned image of the tax return for any further information using a simple app, which sure beat the old method of data retrieval — digging through boxes, incurring huge wait times.

The nice thing about the old method, though, was that it generally worked. The new system was full of bugs, in addition to several other irritating issues. On Bobby's first day he was put in front of the application, and right off the bat it looked amateurish. Form elements not lined up properly, buttons not always the same size, inconsistent menus — not broken, but certainly not professional looking. His boss, Boris, explained some of the finer features in a dry, humorless, low monotone.


Slaves to The Process

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At large, multinational companies, change is slow because of The Process. Not that Matt had any major problems with The Process — he knew what he was getting into when he started his job. A change begets meetings, which beget approvals, which beget forms that have to be signed in triple-triplicate, which beget more meetings, and maybe after a month or two you will have successfully added a column to a report.

All of Initrode Global's IT staff were salaried employees, except for network management, which was outsourced to a team of Highly Paid Consultants — and both groups took their allegiance to The Process very seriously.


Source Control Mastery

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Merv was ready to wash his hands of his last job and to get them dirty at his new one. Now that he was a contractor, he'd be making more, and he'd have a much better environment. This was the first time he'd be working on a team, his first time at a company with dedicated testers, and his first time at an environment that was going to use source control. Merv hadn't used any source control software before, but he had seen it in use and even read up on some popular source control systems.

At his last job he'd been teased with source control a bit — "We need to start using source control," his boss once said. "It's urgent!"