Recent Feature Articles

Mar 2009

More or Less Random

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My personal fave 2600 game, hands down.Chris J's manager had just returned from a meeting with The Admirals and called for an impromptu debriefing with the team. As everyone gathered, they noticed he wasn't wearing his we finally sign-off face.

"Overall," the manager said in a serious tone, "the Navy is very pleased with the application. There weren't any data problems on their side, and they were satisfied with the quantity and quality of documentation. Even the number of manhours we spent on the project was well within their acceptable limits."


Sponsor Appreciation, Real Ingredients, and More

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Without our sponsors' support, The Daily WTF simply wouldn't be. Please show your support by visiting these fine companies and checking out their products & services. Or by sending in a cool souvenir. Or by even buying me a beer. But the first one's probably the easiest.

 

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Mindfusion   MindFusion - a great source for flow-charting and diagramming components for a variety of platforms including .NET, WPF, ActiveX and Swing
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SlickEdit   SlickEdit - makers of that very-impressive code editor and some pretty neat Eclipse and VisualStudio.NET tools and add-ins, some of which (Gadgets) are free. Check out this short video highlighting just one of SlickEdit's Visual Studio integration features.
SoftLayer   SoftLayer - serious hosting provider with datacenters in three cities (Dallas, Seattle, DC) that has plans designed to scale from a single, dedicated server to your own virtual data center (complete with racks and all)
WTF   The Non-WTF Job Board - Powered by HiddenNetwork, it features some great job opportunities like:

I Wish I Worked for PEDANT

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Photo Credit: 'Steve Parker' @ FlickrWhen Steven saw that there was an opening in the Plant & Enterprise Dashboard Activity New Technology group, he jumped at submitting his application and, much to his delight, was accepted. PEDANT was an elite group within the IT organization that was responsible for the system that ran the large plasma status screens spread throughout the plant and corporate offices. At a glance, one could see everything from the number of new orders entered for the day, the thoroughput of the shipping department, the current stock trading price, employee-related news, and even the five-day forecast.

In recent years, the system was updated to support RSS feeds so that, say, Hank in accounting could see everything from the internal pressure of Liquid Nitrogen Tank #4 to news that Barb in HR was getting married in June, all from the comfort of his desk. Being responsible to an application visible to everybody from the CEO to the night janitor granted the PEDANT folks a kind of celebrity status. As a result of this, and the fact that the system was so very much appreciated, project funding flowed in. While the rank-and-file was used to 1970's lime green chairs, the PEDANT developers were racing around in Aeron chairs between private, windowed offices. And best of all for them, every day was free-donuts-in-the-breakroom day.


The Executive Summit

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photo credit: minxlabs @ flickr It took him twenty years of playing corporate politics and climbing his way up, but Scott had finally made it to the top. Not the tippy-top, but close. He was the Director of Applications Management at an international, ten-thousand employee, forty-billion dollar company and was responsible for running a department of a few hundred people.

Long gone were the days of doing anything technical or even supervisory. Instead, Scott focused on positioning, synergy, mindshare, projection, and everything else you’d expect to see in Buzzword Bingo. He also played an important role in the “$100 million initiative to streamline and centralize global processes across key, strategic applications.” Or, in other words, build and/or buy a bunch of enterprise software to help the company run better.


O Misfortuna

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Cabe B. closed his eyes tightly and sighed. His pager was vibrating and beeping a sad interpretation of O Fortuna. And yet again, their most important server had gotten precipitously hot. If the situation wasn't remedied, XDISP1 would shut down.

It was the early 2000s and Cabe was working for a small startup. And for all the freedom, responsibility, and opportunities to get creative that his position afforded, it was a little frustrating that the budget for the "datacenter" wasn't larger. It was a claustrophobic little room with walls and shelves holding mostly repurposed workstations that were acting as servers and telecom equipment. The A/C was unreliable, and would die several times each month. As such, the equipment was always on the brink of overheating. With a ladle and water to pour over the servers, it could've been converted into a decent little steam room. Cabe wanted to stay on top of all these issues, so he set up some monitoring tools that would page him the moment one of the servers reached a certain temperature.


Hairdress Replication

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MonsterCharge!Credit card companies push around gobs and gobs of data every single day, and MonsterCharge (where Mike worked) was no different. However, the one thing that set MonsterCharge apart from many other credit card companies was the sheer volume of data that they worked with on a daily basis. The production environment had tiers, the test environment had tiers, heck, the tiers even had sub-tiers!

Nearly a year after the new system was deployed, the total size of all managed data stored on their Oracle databases had swelled to nearly 40 terabytes, and with good reason. Close to 3,200 concurrent users generated a continuous 1,200 transactions per second and sometimes spiking close to more than 2,000 on some days. The "Mission Accomplished" banner had been long ago hung on the wall and all the project managers received cushy bonuses and some even got promotions.

Our Dog Food Tastes Best (unless someone else makes it)


What Should I Do? and More Support Stories

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What Should I Do? (from Chaz Larson)
Years ago, when I worked the phones, I got a call from a guy who opened up with, "let's just clear something right away: I'm a tech, too, and know what I'm doing." After a bit of back and forth, it turned out that he needed to reinstall the fonts that shipped with our product. This was just a plain old Mac install on about a dozen floppies, and he wanted me to walk him through it.

"Okay," he said a few minutes into the install, it says 'Insert Disk 1'. What should I do?"


A Support Marathon

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1:53 AM, and Sacha's phone was ringing loudly. The woman on the other end of the line was trying to speak calmly, but the fear in her voice was obvious. It was clear that this was the first big production failure she'd had to deal with.

"Production job SYSSYNC_VMX_PROD02 failed, it says something about a failure with... JCL? Er, was it TSS?" Embarrassed and flustered, Leah confessed that she forgot to bring her notebook with her and couldn't remember the specific error.


The Difference Between "Better" and "Less Bad"

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It was only his third day on the job, but Dave could tell it was going to be a long one. His fear had come true; what should've been an easy fix (capture an extra data field) was going to involve him debugging a long regular expression that had no comments revealing its pattern. Its arcane characters may as well have been heiroglyphics, and as regular expressions often do, it looked as though someone had held down shift while randomly mashing the number keys. Worse still, there were recursive methods used to parse these expressions. If you added in linked lists you'd have a CS101 student's personal hell.

"I mean, it's not that regular expressions are bad," he explained to a colleague, "it's just that they're ridiculously hard to interpret when they get to have so many groups and submatches and whatnot."


An Office Safety PSA

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Office safety is no laughing matter. Here at Inedo, when we’re not playing 5-finger filet blindfolded, having backwards Aeron races down the stairs, or constructing our own plywood cubicle loft, we're busy learning the "best practices" in the world of office safety. And boy is there a lot to learn; for example, did you know that BB gun fights violate OSHA guidelines?

That said, I was thrilled when Joe Breeden sent in some scans from a mandatory Office Health & Safety seminar he recently attended. "I wish I could say they were 'joke' pages to lighten up the mood before the serious stuff," Joe commented, "but they're not. They're very real and Safety, Health and Environment treats matters like these very seriously." Click the images for a full size view.


The Prisoner's Dilemma

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Photo Credit: 'Jay Erickson' @ FlickrAfter a hard day of writing code at the Department of Justice, Sabbo settled into his favorite chair to watch the evening news. But instead of his usual glass of iced tea, that night it was a tumbler-full of Johnnie Walker Black on rocks.

Though it was a pretty normal day at work, the ride home was anything but normal. In the middle of his evening commute, Sabbo's boss rang his cell phone to let him know that "something big" would be on the evening news. Apparently, the Shame On You! "investigative" reporting team from the local news ambushed the Department director with question after question about Inmate #88172, Inmate #88172's family, and, most importantly, why Inmate #88172 wasn't getting the money the Department owed him. The director could say little more than "I don't know", which was exactly the sound bite Shame On You! wanted.


Fighting the Current

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photo credit: officemuseum.com

Although it was a giant telecom, Mike couldn't have imagined how huge "AQ&V" actually was. What seemed like miles of occupied cubicles stretched from wall to wall in labyrinthine passages. Weaving their way through aisles of well-dressed employees silently typing on their computers, Mike and his prospective boss arrived at a conference room and began their interview. It must have gone well, since Mike got a call with an offer on his drive home.

He'd be working for the major telecom's "network health" team. The goal was to build and maintain applications and reports so that the company would find out about outages before the customer did. At least in theory. Mike was particularly interested in the work since AQ&V was his ISP, and he knew all too well why they'd gained a reputation for terrible service. Most customers, Mike included, had learned that it wasn't even worth bothering to call and complain about outages anymore.

Razing the Farm


Cutting in Line

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Photo Credit: 'gadl' @ FlickrMcGillicutty Power and Light was a small utilities company with a big problem: Their customer base was growing by leaps and bounds but the supposed-to-be simple task of printing a batch of invoices was taking a glacial age to complete. Things got to be so bad in fact that each of the accounting clerks needed two PC's – one dedicated to everyday tasks like email and spreadsheets and the other for printing invoices.

It wasn't as if the printing workstation was maxed-out on resources, it's just that generating customer invoices was a delicate process. If one were to, say, compose an email while printing invoices, then the printer would be full of email print-outs instead of invoices, meaning that the batch print would need to be run from scratch. Hired on as one of the "big guns" to help address the grim situation, John Reese was not surprised when he saw how the company's business "logic" was being executed.